mthor

One can only hope. However, if he's not, it can be arranged.

If you kiss a girl whom you don't know in public, you run the risk of losing your capacity to reproduce.

What the ever-loving fuck is this doing here?

Are we there yet?

Poor old dawg. Sorry to hear that; even when it's time, it's always sad.

No - if I'd stolen them, I could have given them back.

How do you think I wound up with two kids?

When I worked in the ER, I used to wind up in court about once a month. After a year or two, nobody looked at me like I was crazy, they just pointed me to the coffee pot and a comfortable chair. It would have been OK, except that I'd have to pay a baby sitter so that I could go hang out for an hour or so just to spend five minutes testifying.

Now exactly why is it you can't get a job again?

: )

Well, when you come down to it, they're all essentially the same thread...

I hate being baby-sat.

If it made sense, it'd be scary.

It's OK. They don't expect you to tip at McDonald's.

During.

Poor Phillies. Come and live in my basement. There will be no sex, but I will keep you so busy that you will die of old age before you know it.

Girls lie to you because you reek of desperation and low-end beer.

No, Zeni is more serial killer material.

I think that technically, Ted Kaczynski is a serial killer also.

Don't hold your breath.

Is this a gift, or do you work at being a douche?

The point is, that's a coping strategy with diminishing returns. Granted, I don't have an alternative, but sometimes, nothing is better than something.

Definitely a defense mechanism - stupidity as blatant as that which you keep offering is so aggressive as to be contagious.