mthor

It doesn't look like muscle mass. It looks like if somebody poked you, the indentation would stay. Sort of like the Pillsbury Doughboy, but without yeast.

I don't know - he's starting to get that puffy look that comes with too many years of really cheap beer.

This is why his daughter isn't speaking to him - he keeps hitting on her friends.

Zeni, please stop. Your wife is getting really worried, your son is really embarrassed, your daughter isn't speaking to you, and the guys you play golf with are getting really creeped out. It's time to get some help and start detaching yourself from this imaginary on-line persona that you've created.

That's it, Zeni. Get it all out of your system. Tax season is here. It's time to stop pretending to be a horny and unappealing 26 year old man-child, and go back to being a 52 year old CPA. It's OK; we'll see you in late April.

I had surgery Monday, and am home now, and many thanks for all of the kind thoughts and good wishes; apparently, there's something to be said for positive thinking, because I got my wish - it was a big ass cyst (29 cm x 25.7 cm x 15.3 cm); don't know what the weight was, but between the time anesthesia started and ended, I lost 22 lbs). They sent it for pathology, but the doctor is pretty sure that it was a cyst - nice, self-contained, no signs of malignancy or spread, just really fucking big. And now, I'm going to take a couple of well-earned percs and go to bed. Thanks again, guys <3

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTNVOb6u4mb_LCJdXOtVLzvL0OAN9hX9y_iLZrHCY-CNSUAsJP_

Be careful what you wish for...

She's probably got the right idea. You need to just hang it up and get yourself a blow-up doll.

It puts the lotion on its skin...

You know, the weirder the nonsense you post, the more I'm convinced that you're a 52 year old accountant, married, with two kids, a dog, and an aquarium in your pleasant split level ranch in the suburbs, and that you're just trolling all of us. If you disappear late March/early April, my suspicions will be confirmed.

Yes, indeed. A massive yawn is what your profile induced. Of course, being innocuous and boring is probably a good way to get new specimens for your body farm...

Just for the record, I didn't request a rants folder. In fact, I questioned the need for a rants group on nodebb. Rants had died a slow lingering death on lithium months before we moved; I think that the only two users left who still considered themselves ranters were Arrem and me, from opposite ends of the spectrum. Arrem gave up and left, I accepted the fact that rants was dead and moved on (call me a masochist, but I enjoy the company here.) Don't get me wrong: it's nice to have a folder for heated discussion, and I'm kind of tickled to be able to continue the tradition of Haters/Complainers, but I don't think that it was a must-have. Maybe under the reorganization, it'll fare a little better., but we'll see...this is, after all, a work in progress.

Oh, come on - you have to give the police a little bit of a challenge.

When did drinking socially and drinking constantly become the same thing? After all, sneaking it into work and not offering any to your co-workers isn't very social. Also, I'm old and tired, but if I read a profile like that for a guy in my age group, I'd disregard him as a hopeless lump of protoplasm who's going to spend all his time on the couch. If it looks that way to me, how are energetic young women going to look at it? Also, the whole "don't you lie to me" thing sounds rather petulant, especially considering how blah the rest of your profile is. I did a rant some years ago called "Hates Games/Loves to Cuddle." I wish I'd saved it; you probably would have found it helpful.

Just say the word, baby...

Except for the clowns.

I wouldn't be surprised - aren't a lot of the aerial and tightrope acts usually families? All I can think of is the Wallendas, and I don't know if the were ever with Barnum and Bailey, but they used to have multiple family members performing on the wire all at the same time.

Damn, another part of my childhood gone. That's sad...and now there'll be all those unemployed clowns roaming the streets...

The message can be anything you want, but it's still going to smell the same.

God damn, I am so sick of being sick. I see the surgeon on Tuesday, and I swear to Christ if she doesn't come at me with a scalpel within 48 hours of my appointment, I'll prop up an anatomy book and take out the mother fucker myself.

How about never? There's nothing quite so repellent as the scent of desperation.

So that would mean, like all the time?

And when I see the headlines about your arrest, I'm going to tell everybody I know that I saw it coming.

Again, thanks and much <3 to all of you for the kind thoughts and good wishes. It really helps, especially while I'm sitting here playing the waiting game and just wanting to get something done.