Sandstone

While it does seem there are some people here who have said hurtful things. They are all online, and I seriously doubt anyone here would be bothered enough to put the effort towards doing something of that nature.

You can't believe in UFOs, UFOs are factual evidence. You could believe that extraterrestrials are the direct cause of said incidents. The actual incidents in question are recorded and reported to government institutions all the time including the Air Force. There is no debate or belief required, because UFO just means the object is unidentified. To say one believes there in UFOs is a misnomer

And I might add, that I definitely have the feeling of "not combating it" anymore. I think my problem is since there was no particular purpose for so long, I just decided the empty spot was supposed to be empty. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Yeah, I'd say that's a bit more accurate. The part that is really bugging me, is there is a feeling of like massive time loss though too. And I am just scratching my head going where did the time go? It's rather terrifying, because if you think about it, this type of predicament could happen to anyone really. If a few circumstances had been just a bit different then one thing might not have led to another and so forth and so on. Then perhaps I would not be here asking this question, and I'd have my answer.

How can something be both mandatory, and over-time? Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of over-time?

Yeah, I dunno. I had thought about that at one point too. It doesn't really line up with what I am feeling though. I mean it still very well could be that and I just don't understand it. The reason I say it feels like something different, is because I haven't really failed at anything.... on the contrary I have simply not finished anything, one way or another. It's like looking at a painting that just stops in the middle, and you wonder where the artist went? Did he like have to go take a shit or something? I dunno, it just feels really confusing, empty, not really depression but rather I'm just here, and this is the way it's going to be. I seriously need to go see my therapist again.

I think at some point along the way, I just kind of woke up and I started feeling like this. And I don't mean that in a heartbroken, my mommy told me I'd be a special snowflake sort of way. It's more of a, I'm not really sure who I am, but I feel it's really not supposed to be whatever this is. I'm missing something, I used to think it was an intimate relationship -- and while those do make feel better. After several attempts, I have concluded it must be something else. It is like I am here but also not here, just kind of watching things happen, and having no impact or purpose as to what is happening. It's a strange feeling, not knowing what you are supposed to be, or if you will ever arrive at an answer.

Last friday night....

I should have known that was a pop culture reference. You're like a walking encyclopedia of those. It sickens me. And turns me on.

Come on now, don't ruin my badass image of you.

Except for that one friday night when drinks were had, and it suddenly meant yes.

It'd be hard to suck your cock that way, but I can try?

God you are amazingly cruel. I love it.

Anxiety?

Yes well, sometimes all life gives us is Green Tea Cola.

I remember having a sub Gb hard drive, and a floppy drive along a cd-rom..... Fuck me I am old and I hate it.

Yea it's a bit too gay, even for me. Small doses are kind of nice though.

Home wouldn't be the same without you.

My mistake, that you are. Carry on.

Well I mean.... it's always foremost on my mind lately. Why am I here, and what does any of this mean? Seems to be my theme song these days. It's funny how the older you get, the less petty and more dramatic are the things you tend to worry about.

I'm not sure if I'm having one, but I think I might be. The funny thing about these is the person having it happen never can tell if it is one by themselves. (that sounds like a line from an Alanis Morissette song, just saying)

Ok.... I'm just saying.... I would probably risk the dangers if I could have a pet Moa.... Just so I could sick him on my enemies and watch him disembowel them with his giant kick ass talents.

WELL STRAP ON AND TRY HARDER!!!! (gives pull yourself up by the bootstraps new meaning)

I appreciate you, and what you are doing. It's because I do it too, and people that do not will not understand it.