Mix

Que?

This and many more in my new book 'Questions For Instagram' Available at an Aldi check out counter near you! Aldi, there's food in here, it's not a bank, Aldi.

I'm intrigued. Tell me more.

But no one ever tells you the rest of the story. Like what the hell do you think him and his boys did then? My man was out here turning water into wine and chilling with prostitutes on the reg.....homie was a wild boy lmao, imagine getting hammered with Jesus ... -"YOOOOO, THAT'S MY BOY JESUS ON THE ROOF! YO, JEEEESSSSSUUUUUUUSSSSS" -"YOOOO, PETE FLOW IN THE HEEEZZZUUUUTTT!" -"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BRO?" -"I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF THE ROOF INTO THE WELL!" -"OH SHIT, SON OF GOD. THAT'S WHAT'S UP" ... ...it would be something like that

also

I don't care about old tech, but I've been thinking about getting that same phone for a while now idk why but I dig it

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaha

yeah, and you certainly can't let them work. Think of the after work stories x100

y'know that's a good question... I'm surprised no one's ever bothered to ask that

but....then you get the virgins, right? Like....a hundred of 'em, right?

I can get you another waiter if you'd like ma'am, but since this is your fifth tequila sunrise in the past fifteen minutes, we're going to have to cut you off.

I don't know what it's called when you hear something you know, but suddenly it seems like you're hearing it for the very first time and it holds new meaning Batman's name is Bruce Batman's name is Bruce Batman's name is Bruce Batman's name is Bruce

exactly no muss, no fuss

I sell insurance. Are you in good hands? hehe, no, no, that's not...I don't work for them. Yes, I know that's not my usual introduction, but life goes on. I did the whole revenge thing. Honored my father and allowed his spirit to rest in peace. Even donated his rapier to a museum. They were very happy to have it. Now, I live life more simply. I work the nine to five, not a minute more. Then I go home to spend my days with Fezzik. His cooking has improved significantly since he started using the oven instead of an open fire in the back yard. We're thinking of adopting. Who knows, maybe one day my little one will be avenging me, eh....haha

Nope, better He cheats at golf

Don't you dear judge me so accurately ever again

I was going by what people have told me....I'm more of a jersey mikes guy

They are the same thing.....same building, a lot of times

Once a night is not enough! You're gonna need it all day and all night! You're gonna need meat in your left hand, meat in your right hand, and just GO.TO.TOWN! And you're going to need to film it so that I can watch to make sure you're getting enough...err...meat