Mix

yeah, I steal jokes even before other people have said them

Diabetes, lung cancer, heart attack, and 37 ex wives I'm convinced as long as his show is still on the air, he will not die. It's in his contract.

Tender is the Night - F. Scott Fitzgerald If you liked the Great Gatsby, then you'll finish this. Whatever, I got one more under the wire.

there's no point in being killed by a robot that can't dance on your grave

yeah.....I've been quoting fear and loathing this entire time....I don't even know what adrenachrome is

you've lost me entirely

you can find that in shaving kits....it's usually in a little brown bottle

"Once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can." - Johnny Bravo

idk, it certainly seemed like you burst in here chock full of care about how it's srs bsns what I call my bag but hey, what do I know....I'm drunk.....and I just made scrambled eggs, ramen, and guacamole with no real idea if they would go well together

We're gonna get you some help I know from personal experience that interventions don't work, so we'll start a go-fund-me and use the money to do to you what they do to gay people and white muslims in Indiana. Send you to be reprogrammed through christ....or waterboarding....i'm not sure how that all works.

oh, this is an army thing....and rucksacks are the bags you guys use to carry the things you need to survive....I get it now....I still don't care, but I get it......In fact I might care less than I did before if that's possible....

Happy birthday. Stop drinking tea, I heard it's bad for you.

What's the oldest thing you've kept through the years and how old is it?

First, I went shopping for a backpack that I could clip across my chest when I road my bike, the guy who sold it to me called it a rucksack....I don't care what you call it, I have it.... Second, you think the junk I didn't take out before I left it in the garage is rare? The can of beer or the twenty dollar lighter?

it's junk Even if it wasn't....the unwanted memories outweigh any value it other wise would have had

Oh the memories.... - Unopened can of miller light (it time traveled to be here with me tonight, shame not to drink it) - 500 rwandan francs (so basically fifty cents) - Faded bronze zippo lighter (I thought this thing was bad ass then, I think it's bad ass now.....progression through the years = 0%) - Torn Logg jacket from when I wrecked my bike (skin tax paid in full) so.....should I burn this stuff or what

same here

That's checkmate.

Two women! wow! I mean....when I eventually have sex, I think one will do......but, yeah, sure, two seems like a fun time, probably... How's your cardio?

I does say Iggy what's wrong with you

This is bullshit! They should have cast someone from the green community to play this role.