GunStarHero

@PokeNirvash I think Sponges use of the threesome was including the shit-hand man, the main character, and the reader all coming together for a mind fuck. Which was also his "wow" moment.

While I didn't spend much time on mine I'll at least explain it a little. It's written in an absurdist, satirical style, paying homage to over the top 80s and 90s B movies. Especially ninja movies where heroes are invincible, unstoppable killing machines of presumed justice and villains come stocked with an army of idiots. I can see my decision to pick up the prompt and toss it to the side were not appreciated by any of the judges. That's fine. I wrote what I wanted to write and tried to acknowledge and immediately ignore the prompt for a cheap laugh. Most of it was cheap laughs, again, poking fun at B movies. And then I just killed every character because that's funny to me. Hope it was good for some laughs. And as for it being "lol random" that's not entirely accurate but it does allude to the style I decided to write this in. I channeled my inner, early 2000s internet ninja and tried to make it reflect the flavor of over the top, suburban ninja teenager fantasies you might read back then.

Ok, I just got done reading all of the submissions and I think Sponges' was the best one.

Tried zooming in and out but it didn't work. Selecting all the text and then copy/pasting it somewhere showed the text but it won't show on the site for me.

@That_One_Guy don't know if it's just on my end but two of the stories on the website cut off on the edge and I can't find a way to read what's been cut off.

Me securing last place so hard two people tied for second: That was 30 minutes well spent writing that.

I talk to myself a lot in my head so when I finally speak out loud I can confidently say the dumbest fucking thing possible.

I just feel bad for them because they are apparently passionate about literature and they have to read my swill.

I'm trying to earn my last place finish, gimme some space!

I dropped it off on the curb and kept rolling, baby.

I'm a professional chef so no, I have to be good with spices, sauces, dressings and everything else.

I do declare!

There have been several times my body just started caving in, so to speak, and I was like "yep. Here it is. Finally paying for foolish ways. It was good run." And then I go and grieve in my bed like a 19th century widow.

Same. Me, at all times:

What all did you use them with?

The first time I ate spam and actually enjoyed it was when I had okonomiyaki. A chef from Tokyo was out here for an event and was doing some at a Japanese culture festival. Shit was soooooo good. I was just going to get the fried squid legs but I figured I'd try the okonomiyaki and I was hooked right away.

Over my dead prose you're getting last place!