[classic swim]

Huang: What a place! Beaten up, shot and nearly drowned - within minutes of getting here. My father would've paid for this kind of fun...

Smart-ass Assassin: He's not moving. He's not breathing. He's got a bullet wound to the head. You know what, I'm gonna stake my reputation on this one. The kid is dead. Unsure Assassin: Aw, Shit! Then we are fucked.

Triad: Fuck! We're being jumped! It's a fucking ambush!

Huang Lee: Sometimes though, even the simplest of jobs don't work out quite the way you expect them to...

Huang: Uncle Wu 'Kenny' Lee, in that great American melting pot Liberty City. The last time I visited Liberty City, I caught crabs off a Swiss tourist.

Huang: My father is dead... murdered in Kowloon. He always told me that this life, the life of a gangster, can be short, even for a boss. Most of the family believes he died while meditating at the temple. ——————— Huang: The truth is he was worshipping other gods - his two favorites. Pharmaceutical grade coke and cheap women. Regardless - I have sworn on his grave to find those responsible, to avenge him.

Eats the banana peel and throws the actual banana away.

Is waiting for Mr. Hoonie to bend a gentleman over and slap his pork and beans.

If you’re just a teensy little lady working Human Resources then I guess just..... talk like a fucking stripper at the lowest possible fucking tone at 10 in the morning? And then hang up on me because you can’t fucking speak clearly? Sorry to interrupt you fingering your tight little pussy beneath the desk because I fucking have more passion for working than your Barbie doll ass. Fuck you whore.

I was so fucking mad earlier... and I wanted to hold it all back only because I’ve been dealing with fucked up shit in my life/ severely depressed for weeks. I went to the grocery before a cocksucking whopping 7 PM. 7 PM... and... fried chicken is I guess this... forbidden shadow sphere relic that no soul shall not obtain, even in the mystical fucking country I DON’T BELONG in because I was born somewhere else and thereby... should be fucking bombed and raped by your chomo president. 7 motherfucking PM, and NO chicken because the workers at the grocery had to fucking lock in for an hour or however long before they closed, so “fuck you, poor! Kill yourself and die! No good food for you!” Went to a gas station and..... TWO teensy tiny fucking sorry ass containers of Ceaser Wrap... $12.98....... FOR WHAT?! I’m gonna bite into the shit and it’s gonna be awful... I only glared eyes at it in the fucking first place because real food was not present. ...So I got shitty fast food at little below that price because oh... [classic swim] should just rape ‘n kill himself because who gives a fuck about anyone in the world that wants to actually eat anyone GOOD for once ever.

Brought the Kudasai Horse to New Years party and the Kudasai Horse went rheyeheyyheheaah and kicked Mr. Hoonie in the stomach.

No asshole barber is open so I’m about to just say fuck it and buy Chinese food. December 29th and you really can’t cut fucking hair?