[classic swim]

Tonight, 12:30 AM Bloodthirsty pregnant women and creepy babies are surrounding Kirie.

Tenpenny got a big ol purple dick for a bong... and a steep purchase of weed that needs heading down Fierro way. Tenpenny’s footing you the bill. Conspiracy nut straight from Woodstock who goes by The Truth. Far out. Between taking a combine harvester from a group of survivalists... *And all the country stickup fun/kinky sex with Catalina* You’re just hoping to get that financial arrangement with Truth ironed out ASAP.

Who did Nazi this coming?

You’re completely new to this countryside, and you’re in desperate need of some cash. Cesar sends you over to his cousin. Catalina... feisty one! The two of you commit some stickup jobs. Whether it be robbing small town banks... Or stealing gas station tankers... You and Catalina hit it off quickly! - - - - - - - - Cesar clues you in on some outskirt racing far better than out in Los Santos. The two of you meet one guarded individual. Rather strange! The man politely introduces himself as Wu Zi Mu! Or, Woozie, for short. Woozie takes some time to acknowledge what your horsepower’s like. Needless to say... you’ve won this race. Woozie...greatly honoring his opponent... hands you his card. Should you ever find yourself in San Fierro. You honor this, and head on your way.

Chapter Two: Carl Johnson... stranded out in Mount Chiliad. No sign of Bigfoot. Nonetheless, you’re off on a exciting mission up on the mountain. A former cop went into Witness Protection, and is seeking justice against Tenpenny. You haven’t been caught in the mix with the FBI before. Once that’s done, Frank can sleep a little easier. How fortunate. • Cesar calls from Los Santos. Not only have Ballas ran your folks outta town; Cesar’s Aztecas are also dead or in hiding from the Vagos. • Sweet calls from the prison hospital. He’s in no shape for you to be setting him off. All you can do is tell him to hang in there. Cesar and Kendl are safely on route to meet you over at the trailer on Angel Pine. “We already know who the fucking bad guys are, man. Your stinking Grove Street brother, Smoke... and those chota pigs, TENPENNY AND PULASKI! Smoke? He’s a pusher, man.” - - - - - - - - Meanwhile, in Los Santos... Big Smoke’s the top drug kingpin put into work by Tenpenny. Smoke overseas the entire operation. • Twice a week, Smoke has several tons of yay roll out from San Fierro, back to LS. • In addition to the Ballas and Vagos backing him, Smoke will be building up a false public image in the following months as the charitable Grove Street Families leader. - - - - - - - - For now, you gotta let the hood shit go and accept Kendl & Cesar as the closest in your circle.

THE GREEN SABRE Now was the time. Grove Street was ready for a full scale war against the Ballas. After so much shit hit the fan, you’ve finally earned your brother’s respect back home. Sweet wants everyone to meet at the Mulholland Intersection. Suddenly... you get a call from Cesar. Says you gotta meet him under the freeway and it’s urgent. You aim to make a quick detour. At first, it didn’t seem like a big deal. Just some Ballas scoping the place out. But then... (...) “That’s the muthaphuckin Green Sabre!” Not only were Big Smoke and Ryder complicit in the death of your moms; C.R.A.S.H. was leading them on. The turning point of your story was the realization that your childhood friends sold you out. Cesar, in that moment, cemented himself as a loyal friend to the very end. “I owe you, Ces.” But there was no time for that. You had to warn Sweet! By the time you made it to the intersection, your bro was already banged up bad. Sweet warns you to leave as he’s bleeding out on the pavement, but fuck that. It was time to fill some Ballas with lead. The maddest you’ve ever been: “I’M TAKING YOU ALL DOWN, BITCHES!” In a blaze of vengeance, you cap every last motherfucker wearing purple. Before you could even blink, you were apprehended by law enforcement. You wake up with a bag over your head. Tenpenny’s taken you to fuck-knows-where, AWAY from the city. You’re told that Sweet’s in custody being treated for his wounds. “Homies for life? Street loyalty? That’s all bullshit, Carl. Didn’t you learn that when you ran out of town just ‘cause you let Brian die? HUH? Eddie, I can’t deal with this guy! He’s an idiot!” You’re warned to stay the fuck away from both C.R.A.S.H. and Smoke in LS, lest you want Sweet to be in any danger on the inside. In the meantime, they got a little job for you to take care of in this unmarked territory... - - - - - - - - End of Chapter One

Say ghostrek, what’s your opinion on that Filet-O-Fish?

Did you see Rap Cat on the way over?

REUNITING THE FAMILIES Taking turf back is one thing. Stopping dope pushers is another. But something was unfinished between Seville Boulevard Families and Temple Drive Families. To put a stop to the Ballas, you had to band together with the split-off sets. Cruising your way down the Jefferson Motel... Most of you feeling nervous about the meeting. Sweet’s not. Getting all Grove Street sets back together was crucial. Sweet’s first to enter the motel. Just in the nick of time... Los Santos PD decide to SWAT the meet. Smoke & Ryder bail out. YOU had to fight off Five-O in that musty old motel just to save Sweet. The Johnson boys rejoice and take it to the rooftop. Again, nick of time... Your homies eventually come back to the rescue. But the ride was far from over just yet! LSPD was determined to stop your shit! (...) (...) “Shit! That’s going to be a hell of a story to tell when we passin’ the blunt!” Meeting might not have been a success, but Grove Street boys live another day.

The important one, mi hermano.

“Senseless killing right, but a boyfriend from the south side wrong?” Sweet can’t make sense of Kendl wanting to date in the Varrio. You join the car show down in Unity Station just to meet the ese for yourself. Cesar Vialpando: Leader of Varrios Los Aztecas Cesar takes an immediate liking to you and your wheels. Jose? He thinks you can fuck off, pendejo. But that’s where Cesar steps in to defend your place. Cesar makes it known that he loves your sister and honors her. The two of you shake off on it. He calls you up later for some beers and some good street racing. This is ‘92, baby. Low-riders were less expensive and what every dude from the hood wanted to tune out. It’s a good thing for you to trust Cesar on his word. Especially with Kendl happy. Aztecas are generally neutral - to - negative with you. But the GSF and VLA at least know how awful LSV are in comparison.

Shit doesn’t deserve to be written off regardless of how shit it is.

We hope you’re having a good day, Blueraven!

Off exploring some luxurious sights, huh Carl? Just a pinch for now, anyway. Contrary to what his parole officer believes, Jeffery can’t stay as no ass technician for much longer. To get in the rap game, OG Loc needs you to knock down the competition! That means jackin’ some beach sounds... Taking a rhyme book from up Vinewood Hills... (courtesy of Ryder’s ninja lessons) ...Annnd also kidnapping and killing Madd Dogg’s manager. “I’d like to thank my fans, my mama, and my DEALER.” Not long after, Loc quit Burger Shot and brought his garbage ass lyrics down to Grove Street. The saving grace being the Ballas crashing the party for a hot minute. The real gangsta shit. Blastin’ on some bitch made motherfuckers...

Jesus, he can’t even stand behind his own dump this time. Fuck. That’s bad for the rest of the lot then.

You’ve been so preoccupied with the hood safari surrounding Ganton, you’ve barely had time to properly reconcile about moms. “We all gotta talk about it? They was going for Sweet! Some people say they saw a Green Sabre doing the work, then speeding away.” - per Ryder’s account Ballas repeatedly trying to finish the job on you and your fam was frustrating, to say the least. Quite frankly, you were tired of playing the sitting bitch game. “What you gonna do when the Ballas roll through? Throw shoes at ‘em?” You’ve been playing 2nd or 4th wheel for your homies long enough. It was time for you to start calling your own shots. Ballas creeping up on your own mother’s funeral? It was time for you to lead the charge and fully blast on their own wake. No one was left to mourn when you were done. Taking neighborhoods back for the Grove. As it was meant to be. Put you in the turf war, and there’s just no stopping you!

“We can shit on you from such a height, you’ll think God himself has crapped on you.” Tenpenny’s always meant serious business. You know it’s far from simply blackmailing you. This is the cop who’s already had the whole criminal underworld of Los Santos on a string for years. You’re his favorite puppet as you’re more capable than the rest. “I’m saying the Ballas have brains, Carl, they watch the news. I’m saying they’re making friends, cutting deals, and tooling up for more than half-assed drive-bys. Lots of cheap guns coming into America since the fall of the wall, Carl.” Even as he lets Ballas plague the streets with drugs however they see fit; Tenpenny will sic you onto any color/entity so much if he has a hunch. Frank likes gangs he can fuck with equally. C.R.A.S.H. isn’t this lively brute force. It’s a trio of badged racketeers who’ve made a killing from extorting everything in their path, and keeping every last trail hush-hush while doing so. The last guy who tried uncovering them is one you’ll hopefully not have to take the heat for.

If I put the covers completely over myself - - not smelly enough to be a dutch oven, but my asshole will always wanna push air out right as I do that. It always knows.

So... what’s the haps with Ryder? C.R.A.S.H. clued you both in on some cargo to jack. Okay. Fine. What’s really up with Ryder, though? He calls you a buster, then goes on about homie LB like you give a fuck... He’s shermed up all the damn time. I mean, why does his genius plan involve robbing the National Guard? ‘Ninja style’ invasion. Yeah, right. “One day, you’re gonna wish you hadn’t pissed me off.” Hmm. Duly noted, Carl.

Strategy Tips for Starters: • To avoid the infamous Gym Glitch (I.E. suddenly never being able to use any of the SA gyms ever again), never exceed your daily limit when working out. _____________________ • The Horse Track Betting shop is the primary exploit used for Max money without using cheats. You keep reloading until you win and save your earnings. The first shop’s next to the Mulholland Intersection. _____________________ • Gang Warfare mechanic is not first activated until completing the mission Doberman. • Denise Robinson isn’t unlocked until completing Burning Desire. _____________________ • If you’re grinding for both Max muscle and Max money, it’d be your best interest to get that out of the way before Doberman or Burning Desire. _____________________ • Not that you’re really required to do any swimming at the moment, but it’d be good to take some time to build your lung capacity up. That way, you won’t be stopped dead in your tracks later in a different chapter. _____________________ • When you do unlock Gang Warfare, don’t One Man Army all the territories before Green Sabre. I did that once on a save just for the fuck of it. The only net positive of wasting your time like that in the first chapter is that it builds your skill on guns the game doesn’t really want you to have yet.

Yeah, kinda.