[classic swim]

He built a chicken stand right next to his Popeyes. He sold more chicken sandwiches than them, but first he had to buy a bunch of Popeye chicken sandwiches.

Loved that chicken from Popeye’s.

Got banned from Shoney’s because he kept bothering Dolly Parton when she was there.

Got banned from Fun Spot America for dressing up like Super Mario Kudasai and tackling someone who beat him at putt putt.

He neglected to put the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on his room door. Obscenities were yelled at Ramada hotel housekeeping.

Does knight jousting in room hallways of hotel resorts.

Favorite time in a cab was when he was stoned, and I was drunk, and we both laughed at the guy in front of us with pimped out rims. The fare from LAX to West Fifth past midnight, with serene silence and few cars out was also badass.

Took a big swirl cone of ice cream and gently dumped it on top of a man’s bald head sitting down because he couldn’t resist.

Got a plastic giraffe mask at the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle and when his wife said “ok honey let’s put away the plastic giraffe mask” he turned around and went “RAHHHHHH!”

He’s self-invited to every bachelor party that involves bouncing titties on his head.

Parrillada Suprema.

Fucking lol, at that point just let it end.

He’s the man of the land he’s into discipline, he’s got a hoyhoy in his hand and a beard on his chin.

Listened to Trapped in The Drive-Thru a hundred times when it came out.

https://robertpaulson.com/motion-graphics-animation EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE THE ORIGINAL PILOT JUST GOT RELEASED AND NO ONE GIVES A SHIT BUT ME, PETAH

He’ll dress up like the Monopoly guy at the Kentucky Derby and invite me to his lounge.

Collects empties so he can throw around Molotov cocktails and laugh like a supervillain.

He gave her a big plastic flamingo from a yard sale to make up for the lost unicycle.

Takes awhile for the dealing minigame in Chinatown Wars to kick in but yeah. Stole 9 pounds of H and coke from the Italians and sold it back to the stupid fucks for 16K.