[classic swim]

Got hit in the face with banana custard cream pie and chased me around with a rolling pin.

Thought he could get drunk off root beer floats when he was at the horse track.

Had a staring contest with a potato just like Paz the Penguin.

Makes angry bull noises when Tao inadequately tips the cow.

Took ghostrek to Myrtle Beach.

Shows each and every baby the jack-in-a-box toy knowing most of them can’t handle the surprise.

Was there at the MTV Awards to see Eminem laughing in the hallway after Sacha Baron Cohen landed on him.

Draft dodging is not at all an insult. It’s only a jab when you wanna mock Donald or some politician displaying hypocrisy by talking above their hernia. I’m too old for any draft, and would still declare with great intensity that I’d dodge a draft.

Purchased my body hair to help disguise himself and blend in with the werewolves that have taken over the basketball court near Eddie’s dive bar.

Isn’t terrified of werewolves because he can always turn into a werewolf puppet and share his popcorn at the movies.

Is contemplating cancelling Kudasai’s magic show after a messy rabbit trick startled the viewers.

Wishes he could take Mr. Hoonie’s place for a day so the Filipino gf will tickle his feet on the motel bed.