Lynnrael

i was thinking about this earlier actually. when i think about the what ifs i always end up realizing that the result is i wouldn't be me, and so it would be someone else enjoying the results anyways. then it ends up feeling hollow

it's my Friday, and late for work. on top of that i just had my face shot with lasers. today is already awesome. I'm not even being sarcastic, i love being late when I have an excuse, and I'm almost done with laser treatments, that's amazing

https://m.soundcloud.com/saoirsedream/weeniehut

dating is hard because consent is too important? I'm sorry, what the fuck? the reason dating is harder is the same reason everything sucks more: we live in an increasingly commodified society where dating and sex are products, while any and all of our traditional forms of building community and socializing have been stripped away by capitalism. workplaces have always been alienating, but that is getting worse and worse and the rest of our society is also increasingly alienated. we used to have public spaces where it was considered normal to go and just hang out, but those are being commodified too, and social interaction without spending money is becoming more difficult to do. meanwhile almost all of us have to work more and spend more of our life worrying about survival. dating is hard because we live in a capitalist dystopian hell hole.

i miss the recycling job. i know that's weird cause it was probably one of the worst jobs ever, but i miss it. i miss all the homeless people i made friends with, they were some of coolest people I've ever met. funny how that works out, i hated that job every day i was there

I'm pretty sure I'm autistic but yeah, it me

i probably seemed nervous bringing up the supply issues at today's meeting but i think i did a pretty good job of concealing how pissed off i was. ok maybe i was a little nervous, the hot people were there. that kinda helped with the rage i was feeling.

i wonder if, when body modification really gets going, we'll ever be able to alter our bodies so that we can live in the ocean. like, just give up life on land and learn to speak orca and join the revolution. that'd be cool

why do i feel like a zombie? oh right, the benadryl

I'm definitely gonna stick with this dunmer occultist run I'm doing. it's a lot of fun and the back story I've contrived allows me to do all the main things i want with this mod pack. i definitely want to make sure to see what is involved in the legacy of the dragon born content and worshipping hermaeus mora with the wintersun mod let's me have a good rp reason for it: gotta hoard that knowledge for him after all. can't wait to get home and play this.

for the line "i sold my soul, now i age but don't get old, and to this day it's the best deal i ever made" though the song is full of really great lines it was also my 2021 most played song of the year.

sugar, we're going down by fall out boy, because i still haven't really grown up

yeah i know they might just buy drugs, and i hope they enjoy it, too, cause being homeless sucks ass. i still get to do a thing and be happy about it, helping people is still worth doing even if you don't change their lives on the spot. solidarity has always been worth more than charity.

yes, people see mine as a moral falling too. and it hurts all the time. there is no way around that, but there are people out there that don't. finding them might seem daunting, but it's also not hopeless. but you really need to start by figuring out how to be kinder yourself, i think. just because people see you that way doesn't mean you have to see yourself that way. don't think about as trying to be happy, just think about it as being nicer to yourself, and it gets a little easier.

if I'm not careful they're gonna fire me, but god fucking damnit I'm tired of running out of the gloves that work and having to deal with stained and dried out hands all day. i constantly moisturize and they still crack. and i think it's more than fair to say running out the supplies we need is a failing on the part of someone higher up. how dare they even expect us to work without the proper equipment? i would tell someone to hold off on working if they don't have gloves when it was my job to keep people supplied. i would take fucking responsibility if they had run out when it was, you know, my fucking responsibility to make sure they don't. I'm gonna say the wrong damn thing, and they're gonna fire me, but this is unacceptable

do you see having a learning disability as a bad thing? do you want to be with women who think having a learning disability makes you a lesser person? of course that coin has two sides, and you have to be willing to see that most of what people see as moral failings or undesirable traits are just as irrelevant, and then start looking for people to share your life with based on standards that actually matter, like how they treat others and how compatible you are. if you don't want to change, I'm not gonna tell you have to. I'm not gonna get mad if you keep being lonely, but I'm also probably not gonna care. i just don't think the idea that a learning disability makes us undesirable should go unchallenged. i have a learning disability and i don't think that makes me undesirable at all, i think it means there people who would see that as a failing and i think those are people i want to stay the fuck away from anyways. idk, i think you have some internalized ableism to work on. you should consider working on, not to get laid, but to become a happier and healthier person. but that's up to you edit: I'm gonna add, i don't it's bad if you stay lonely, honestly, if you ultimately feel that it suits your needs best. but i don't think you really have to

what bit was it? i love George Carlin

this woman is so goddamn hot to me in the gayest way, I'm glad she's in a different department cause I'd never be able to focus if she worked with me all day. there's also that guy on the other shift who is also incredibly hot. i can't wait until I'm hot too, ugh.

i really want to do karaoke some time, it's been a while since I've tried and i think I'll enjoy it a lot more these days

oh shit there's a new season? that one episode probably helped me realize that I'm trans now that I think about lol