The_annoying_one

Tells people about zombie Jesus.

Was the “I won the internet!” kid in that old meme.

Salsa almost always sucks. Come at me, bros.

Two chicken burritos with chips & salsa from Margarita’s….whenever it gets here. EDIT: They ended up giving me beef burritos instead. Still good, though.

Goes around town throwing eggs at gas station pumps.

You text me and tell me to call you to set up a job interview. I call you literally 2 minutes later. But after an hour of trying, you won’t answer and there’s no option to leave a message. Just tell me this whole thing is a scam so I can move on with my life.

Refuses to say just where these rats came from….and why their eyes are red.

Can summon brutal thunderstorms with just one look.

I can’t decide if I’m hot or cold right now. Kind of both but kind of neither. Weird.

Puts cabbage on burgers instead of lettuce.

I will never trust people who call when a text would be more than sufficient.

Still has a poster of *NSYNC.

Good luck, ghosty.

Provides the meats at Seight’s Deli.

That feeling when a problem that’s plagued you for as long as you can remember might finally be nearing its conclusion. Let’s call this…..cautious optimism.

Is a restaurant critic by choice, not by profession.

Purchased food from a restaurant in London and brought it to America to eat.

Did someone a small favor today and they’re buying me McDonald’s as thanks. Quarter Pounder and fries, I guess.

I’m more than willing to either prove myself or fall flat on my face. Why isn’t that enough?

Competes in Monopoly tournaments around the world.