wacky1980

bullshit. no one believes mine either, 'cept for those on the list. and yet here we are, a dude who started a topic about stats and won't release his own. time to dish.

you can't ask this question without posting your stats first. *reads thread* wow, apparently you can ask this question without posting your stats first. completely honest, i stopped keeping track after college. probably somewhere around 35-40. still clean as a whistle too.

it's called "disaster recovery / business continuity plan" for us and it covers anything from a vendor getting hacked, to a natural disaster, to full-on world war. there's no real set of defined standards to the creation and implementation of "the plan" so it's pretty much up to me to gather all the data, organize it, and then dream up as many negative scenarios as possible plus how to mitigate them. and it can't just be bullshit. if i say the bank keeps two backup copies of every piece of data, i have to be able to provide the location of each piece of data, the date it was backed up, and the instructions on how to restore it (and sometimes, i have to actually restore it in a sandbox environment to prove that i can). last year, i was informed we didn't have adequate safeguards in place to mitigate the risk that the bank faces from a massive influenza outbreak. so i wrote up a 5-stage policy for dealing with one. and now there's also two boxes of face masks, hand sanitizers, and latex gloves in storage, waiting for their moment...

pretty much done for today. two more days to go, then i can unclench the ass cheeks that have been puckered up since about august 1. only part of this job that i dread.

my personal favorite of the day: FDIC "do you keep a summary report of the status of your vendors?" me "i have this vendor management summary right here on page one of the vendor management binder." FDIC "no, not that. i mean a summary of the status of each vendor, like a spreadsheet that shows the status of all of them on one page, in summary." me "no, i keep this vendor management binder that contains all of that." FDIC "but the first page is not a summary. that's an overview." me "then i guess we don't keep a summary." FDIC *scowls* me *kills self*

i've personally never had to deal with those guys. my responsibilities include IT, vendor management, and DR / BCP. i'd have been fully prepared for the exams this time around, if we hadn't been so short-staffed since jan 1. i get to spend about 75% of my time these days sitting in the bookkeeping office and admin'ing the data processing team. rest of the time, i'm playing catch-up at my own desk and openly wishing death on my dumb fucking co-workers.

vendor due diligence? disaster recovery / business continuity plan? customer info risk assessment? employee training reports? . . . unified vendor management strategy? ::]:: audit tracking updates? ::]:: current vendor management status? ::]:: disaster recovery testing / results? ::]:: customer best practices documentation? ::]:: and it's only noon. better get outta here for lunch now, before they get their hooks in me again.

or the screener gets leaked online a full month before the premiere.

well, i just watched the whole movie in that preview, so i don't think i need to go see it now.

that was actually easier than i thought. joke's on viper though, i have yt videos disabled on this pc. whatever he was trying to autoplay will only annoy everyone else.

so yea to all three then. k, thought so.

are you a bedroom dj? are you a message board babysitter? are you <21?

and how long did you own it?

got one, thx. i'm sure it's not as glamorous and carefree as being a bedroom dj/message board babysitter, but then again i'm not 16 anymore so i'm good.

your high road requires weed? so, so basic. smh.

to be fair, i can't imagine viper knows what a high road would even look like, so i guess you got me there.

i meant predict but i suppose predicate works there as well. edit: then you changed "predicate" to "predate" and now i don't agree.

that you're being a hypocrite? i mean, i don't give shits on these problems. i just like pointing them out.

ass kissing and being useless tend to go hand-in-hand. but this is like a chicken/egg thing. which one predicts the other?

that sounds just like high road mentality.

that's odd. i took 4 years in college and graduated with $0 debt. i don't wear a necktie to work at my IT job, and i get paid quite a bit more than $9/hr. oh, and my health insurance premium is 100% picked up by my employer. so there's actually more options than to work either as a low-income janitor OR as a mythical bean-counter in a basement office. not that you have time to pursue any of those options, but anyways.

so you got <$2k/acre? ouch. untillable land that the gov't considers "wasteland" for taxation purposes brings well over $5k/acre around here, in the middle of bumfuck. even the 1/6 acre lot my old house sits on is valued at $6k alone, and that's cheap.

so two vacant lots.

and then you wrote the check to pay off the loan against the land, and you were back down to $37.93. btw, what kind of land sale nets you a measly $37k? a vacant lot?

maybe i don't know the demographics out there, but i'd assume $28k in atlantic city is playing on the edge of the poverty line. i mean, maybe i'd be proud of that too if i was a 60yo janitor. but then again, i'd probably be proud of a lot of shitty things if i were a 60yo janitor.