myth busters: boar3d edition

[-Kudasai-]

Says Candyman's name 5 times

[The_annoying_one]

Is lobbying to have phone booths become a thing again.

[-Kudasai-]

Has a crippling addiction to brussel sprouts

[The_annoying_one]

Needs to know that I loathe brussel sprouts.

[Seight]

Said exactly what someone from Brussels WOULD SAY!

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

Did a Men At Work styled cover of Overkill by Motorhead.

[discolé monade]

has been working on his opus: a one man cover band of all of donnie and marie's greatest hits, played in the style of heavy metal on bagpipes 

[-Kudasai-]

Claims to have actually seen a Holy Carp

[The_annoying_one]

Goes around town terrorizing people with rubber bands. Somehow hasn’t been caught yet.

[Seight]

Can flick a paper football 30 yards

[The_annoying_one]

Makes paper footballs out of sandpaper.

[-Kudasai-]

Caught a Holy Carp fish from a public fountain

[discolé monade]

has purchased several holy carps from me, that i obtained at several public and private parks. 

he makes bone fish sammiches with those as well

Edited March 31, 2025 by discolé monade

[-Kudasai-]

Has learned how to makes holy carp sushi

[The_annoying_one]

Makes pies out of bone-in spare ribs.

[-Kudasai-]

Is eager to meet the Easter Bunny because he just found a killer recipe for hasenpfeffer

Edited March 31, 2025 by Mode 7

[[classic swim]]

He got some Peter Rabbit chocolate bunnies for half price at Dollar General because he’s the Easter Bunny.

[The_annoying_one]

Lists posting here on his job resume.

[[classic swim]]

His neighbor Tabitha tried feeding him the choo-choo train of brussel sprouts when he was a baby and he said “get that shit away from me, d-ddd-dumbass!”

[mthor]

Is extremely enthusiastic about haggis, but only if it's authentic.

[The_annoying_one]

Puts sauerkraut on ice cream and feeds it to the neighborhood kids.

[Seight]

Puts mashed potatoes on top of pizza

[discolé monade]

loves making meatloaf parfait. 

[The_annoying_one]

Is funding the new meatloaf parfait diner.

[-Kudasai-]

Uses brussel sprouts as ammo for his slingshot 

[The_annoying_one]

Throws mashed potatoes at people’s heads whenever they look at him funny.

[[classic swim]]

When he sees a movie on TV he doesn’t like he’ll undo his pants and sit on a whole set of hot mashed potatoes in front of the lady he’s dating.

[discolé monade]

rides the mashed potato rails....there are some sinus issues...BUT WHAT A RIDE!

[-Kudasai-]

Once pistol whipped a Jehovah's Witness for ringing her doorbell and waking her up from a nap. Police declined to file charges. 

[discolé monade]

now i would never. bare fists and bare fists only. 

once bragged about being the for the 'oil boy' for the tropicana 500. he thought it was supermodels he'd be oiling down. turned out to be the 87th annual soapbox derby, yes..THAT tropicana 500.  and his job was to oil the axles.   

Edited March 31, 2025 by discolé monade
bare fist only

[-Kudasai-]

Has issued a warning to everyone should anyone attempt or pull an April Fools Day prank on her they'll be food for Bruno and Bobo

Edited March 31, 2025 by Mode 7

[discolé monade]

eats 42 grains of rice per bite. yes, counts out 42 individual grains, places on spoon, consumes, rinse, repeat. 

 

[The_annoying_one]

Does exactly the same thing with spices. It’s really quite impressive.

[-Kudasai-]

Works as a ice cream driver every summer, but instead of playing traditional ice cream truck music he plays 90s rock.

[[classic swim]]

Puts a scoop of ice cream on his head with a cherry on top so he can be the Ice Cream Man and impress the divas.

[Seight]

Bought an ice cream truck so he can just stare wide-eyed instead of ever actually stopping to sell kids ice cream

[The_annoying_one]

Sells beach balls out of the back of an ice cream truck.

[[classic swim]]

Brings a needle to the beach and deflates the volleyball every time it rolls over to him on accident. 

[mthor]

Posts his sand castles on Zillow.

[The_annoying_one]

Once posted a job listing on Indeed for a professional toenail clipper.

[discolé monade]

once applied for a job as a professonal toenail clipper.

[little_girl_lost]

SIngs Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da at the gyno

[The_annoying_one]

Fills out the paperwork at the doctor’s office with a pink crayon.

[-Kudasai-]

Owns the Val Kilmer Batman Nipple Suit. Usually wears it every Halloween.

[[classic swim]]

The mail that never fails make him wanna wag his tail.

[-Kudasai-]

Got chased by a flock of Sussex Hens for stealing their eggs and throwing them at mimes

[The_annoying_one]

Goes to Taco Bell, orders 14 burritos, then drives away without paying or picking up the food.

[-Kudasai-]

Is the reason why I had to leave my Taco Bell Burritos behind because he "accidentally" hit a cop with his brussel sprouts slingshot and needed me come bail him out of jail. Good thing there's Door Dash.

[[classic swim]]

He walked into Taco John’s and thought he could stay at the lobby all day ‘cause it brought a smile on his face.

[-Kudasai-]

Wears a rooster costume and crows every morning at 6 am on his fence much to the delight of his neighbors.