Would it be offensive....

[Drunkenwarrior]

To ask someone if they were on the spectrum? 

[The_annoying_one]

I would say it depends on the person you ask.

Some people might be offended, some might not. Not really my place to say.

[Insipid]

You tell me; are you on the spectrum?

[Gemini]

I'm staying away from this question. Also, in my experience, a lot of people on the spectrum are forthcoming about it anyway. (I don't know why either.)

Edited October 3, 2023 by Gemini

[André Toulon]

Autism has a stigma that's sloooooowly starting to fade in some respects. It seems more people are embracing it nowadays instead of it automatically becoming synonymous with incapability....in fact, I can see among these kids it's being misnomered with strange "obsessions".

Not that I know everything it entails, but it's almost like a badge of honor to some, so people actually on the spectrum are a bit more comfortable with it, even if the reason why is a bit off.

Edited October 3, 2023 by André Toulon

[Drunkenwarrior]

15 hours ago, The_annoying_one said:

I would say it depends on the person you ask.

Some people might be offended, some might not. Not really my place to say.

This girl at my local gas station, she's actually really cute

 

I just don't think "you're on the spectrum huh" is a really good pick up line

 

 

[Drunkenwarrior]

12 hours ago, Insipid said:

You tell me; are you on the spectrum?

I mean....probably 

[Drunkenwarrior]

10 hours ago, André Toulon said:

Autism has a stigma that's sloooooowly starting to fade in some respects. It seems more people are embracing it nowadays instead of it automatically becoming synonymous with incapability....in fact, I can see among these kids it's being misnomered with strange "obsessions".

Not that I know everything it entails, but it's almost like a badge of honor to some, so people actually on the spectrum are a bit more comfortable with it, even if the reason why is a bit off.

Yea, sometimes I think it's almost trendy to be autistic 

[The_annoying_one]

2 minutes ago, Drunkenwarrior said:

This girl at my local gas station, she's actually really cute

 

I just don't think "you're on the spectrum huh" is a really good pick up line

 

 

I would say that’s definitely not a good pick up line. 

[André Toulon]

2 minutes ago, Drunkenwarrior said:

This girl at my local gas station, she's actually really cute

 

I just don't think "you're on the spectrum huh" is a really good pick up line

 

 

This....this is why you asked us this? 🤦🏿‍♂️

Sigh, ok...I can still work here.

Go for it, I've picked women up by alluding to them that I was going to put them on the ho stroll....you'd be surprised how many of them find this amusing and go along with it...mostly because they know I'm full of shit, but my point is...some people aren't jammed up their own assholes

[Drunkenwarrior]

2 hours ago, André Toulon said:

This....this is why you asked us this? 🤦🏿‍♂️

Sigh, ok...I can still work here.

Go for it, I've picked women up by alluding to them that I was going to put them on the ho stroll....you'd be surprised how many of them find this amusing and go along with it...mostly because they know I'm full of shit, but my point is...some people aren't jammed up their own assholes

Haha, i wouldn't really use it as a pick up line, but I am curious and couldn't think of a polite way to ask her

[Stonergoth187]

They'd worry about cracks in their mask

[Lynnrael]

you can just ask if they're autistic, but if you're not also autistic and it's not relevant (and i don't see how it would be here) it's probably inappropriate to ask anyways

[Lynnrael]

4 hours ago, Drunkenwarrior said:

Yea, sometimes I think it's almost trendy to be autistic 

it's not, but there are large communities online that like to discuss being neurodivergent because we're almost always forced to mask and hide it in most spaces. the stigma is going away, but it's still very much present. usually you can hear the stigma coming from people who say "everyone's autistic these days, must be trendy"

[André Toulon]

16 minutes ago, Lynnrael said:

it's not, but there are large communities online that like to discuss being neurodivergent because we're almost always forced to mask and hide it in most spaces. the stigma is going away, but it's still very much present. usually you can hear the stigma coming from people who say "everyone's autistic these days, must be trendy"

Technically I think I said what you have issue with, and while I can't say how this guy intended it, I certainly didn't mean it that way....I was alluding to my kids Friends.

Now my kids understand because they were friends with a kid on the spectrum since they were like 4 and the kid didn't talk. They asked his mom why and she explained he was autistic. At around 7, he talked every once in a while, but by this time they were all friends on PSN, and he would leave long messages for them...basically telling them everything he didn't say while they were at school or outside playing.  

The issue is the kids that I hear buddy play with that say things like "I grinded for 6 hours last night on Elden Ring, my 'autism' was out of control"....I look at my son and I'm like "You know better, right" and of course he does. This kid is not autistic 

There's several other times I hear it from randos in lobbies. 

But this is all anecdotal but I'm just saying that it seems in some of the younger circles, it's most like slang.

Edited October 3, 2023 by André Toulon

[Lynnrael]

3 hours ago, André Toulon said:

Technically I think I said what you have issue with, and while I can't say how this guy intended it, I certainly didn't mean it that way....I was alluding to my kids Friends.

Now my kids understand because they were friends with a kid on the spectrum since they were like 4 and the kid didn't talk. They asked his mom why and she explained he was autistic. At around 7, he talked every once in a while, but by this time they were all friends on PSN, and he would leave long messages for them...basically telling them everything he didn't say while they were at school or outside playing.  

The issue is the kids that I hear buddy play with that say things like "I grinded for 6 hours last night on Elden Ring, my 'autism' was out of control"....I look at my son and I'm like "You know better, right" and of course he does. This kid is not autistic 

There's several other times I hear it from randos in lobbies. 

But this is all anecdotal but I'm just saying that it seems in some of the younger circles, it's most like slang.

the thing is, there are autistic people who talk that way, that's just a part of it becoming less stigmatized. in fact, it's entirely possible that kid was actually autistic, and it wasn't possible to tell because he's high masking. there's no real way to know for sure, which is why i push back on people saying that it's trendy or assuming that people who aren't autistic are claiming to be. it's a spectrum, and it affects people in an incredibly wide variety of ways, many of which are not easily noticeable or clear, especially to allistic people. 

there is, also, not actually anything wrong with people who aren't autistic thinking they are, or finding parts of autism relatable. it doesn't harm autistic people. the real harm almost always comes from people who police the behaviors of others, and who don't like when folks aren't "normal" without a "legitimate" reason. people who enforce arbitrary social norms in others (like eye contact) because it makes them more comfortable are also usually the biggest bullies autistic people face. that and outright ableist bigots. 

[scoobdog]

I don’t know if eye contact is an arbitrary norm.  Someone isn’t lesser because they’re unable to do so, but eye contact is still critical to interaction.

[lupin_bebop]

On 10/2/2023 at 8:57 PM, The_annoying_one said:

I would say it depends on the person you ask.

Some people might be offended, some might not. Not really my place to say.

 

[Lynnrael]

11 hours ago, scoobdog said:

I don’t know if eye contact is an arbitrary norm.  Someone isn’t lesser because they’re unable to do so, but eye contact is still critical to interaction.

not enough to force it on people who find it extremely uncomfortable. honestly, i almost never make eye contact and can still pretty effectively communicate at work. 

[scoobdog]

23 hours ago, Lynnrael said:

not enough to force it on people who find it extremely uncomfortable.

Of course.

[nameraka]

Depends. Which spectrum?