ghostrek Posted September 19, 2023 Share Posted September 19, 2023 Something's been bothering me and it got put to the surface because of all things I'm watching the newest season of Star Trek lower decks and the main cast which are until the season wheere starfleet ensigns No new Starfleet Lieutenant Jr grade. I'm always obsessed of trying to move up and rank in my professional life i was actually promise a promotion almost instantly when I started it clean at the place I cleaned that before working atThe butcher shop I work at. And I know promotions are burned but I was promised that and it turns outI never got itI was trying to work hard and try to advance and just move up one step on the ladder But did not happen. Now I was working through that goal at all the other jobs I worked at and yes I understand with my difficulties it was impossible but I still work towards it And frankly when they say every dog has their day I don't Man I'm not a dog and I don't have my day. Can I pose you all a question why am I so obsessed with trying to move up and rank at nowhere jobs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobdog Posted September 19, 2023 Share Posted September 19, 2023 To give meaning, no matter how superficial, to the work you put in. You crave acknowledgment from the people you expend effort on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostrek Posted September 19, 2023 Author Share Posted September 19, 2023 10 minutes ago, scoobdog said: To give meaning, no matter how superficial, to the work you put in. You crave acknowledgment from the people you expend effort on. Yes but it's also i'm not fitting the standards for that promotion but people tell me due to my lack of a better word disabilities Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostrek Posted September 19, 2023 Author Share Posted September 19, 2023 @scoobdog and lack of self-confidence and lack of authority plus for years I was actually demoted in my family due to my ex sister-in-law's weird stupid fucking prejudices towards the disabled which she got instilled by her mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insipid Posted September 19, 2023 Share Posted September 19, 2023 I'm just wondering, do you not have a therapist to discuss these kind of things with? 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostrek Posted September 19, 2023 Author Share Posted September 19, 2023 1 minute ago, Insipid said: I'm just wondering, do you not have a therapist to discuss these kind of things with? Yes but frankly. It does not help me to convince others that I'm deserving of a promotion It does help me with my own internal problems which is very valid and very useful but trying to get others to see the man I think I am on the inside is impossible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobdog Posted September 19, 2023 Share Posted September 19, 2023 You can't "convince" anyone you're worthy of a promotion. All you can do is be good at your job and demand respect for the work you do, as in exhibit pride in your work and own mistakes (rather than apologize for them). Promotions, even at the lowest rungs, are arbitrary - being competent is a must in any worthwhile business, but it's not a guarantee you'll get elevated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostrek Posted September 19, 2023 Author Share Posted September 19, 2023 1 hour ago, scoobdog said: You can't "convince" anyone you're worthy of a promotion. All you can do is be good at your job and demand respect for the work you do, as in exhibit pride in your work and own mistakes (rather than apologize for them). Promotions, even at the lowest rungs, are arbitrary - being competent is a must in any worthwhile business, but it's not a guarantee you'll get elevated. I know i won't ever get I know that getting elevated isn't necessary to go doing a good job is but like I said I felt like I got demoted in my family because of my ex sister-in-law treated me like shit because she was fucking ableist. What's in fact I know mycomment earlier today on a different post would make my myself ableist myself . I have a high standard for neurotypical people If I can't fuck up neither can they 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insipid Posted September 19, 2023 Share Posted September 19, 2023 5 minutes ago, ghostrek said: I have a high standard for neurotypical people If I can't fuck up neither can they That's honestly a completely fair sentiment to have. Hang in there, ghostie. You're strong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stilgar Posted September 19, 2023 Share Posted September 19, 2023 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobdog Posted September 19, 2023 Share Posted September 19, 2023 1 hour ago, ghostrek said: I know i won't ever get I know that getting elevated isn't necessary to go doing a good job is but like I said I felt like I got demoted in my family because of my ex sister-in-law treated me like shit because she was fucking ableist. What's in fact I know mycomment earlier today on a different post would make my myself ableist myself . I have a high standard for neurotypical people If I can't fuck up neither can they Having high standards for yourself is great, but expecting others to not fuck up is indicative of your own need to have others validate you. It’s also a validation of your sister-in-law’s abusive behavior: you’re saying neurotypical people deserve to be marginalized by not being perfect. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostrek Posted September 19, 2023 Author Share Posted September 19, 2023 8 hours ago, scoobdog said: Having high standards for yourself is great, but expecting others to not fuck up is indicative of your own need to have others validate you. It’s also a validation of your sister-in-law’s abusive behavior: you’re saying neurotypical people deserve to be marginalized by not being perfect. @scoobdog i think there's just a miss understanding there what I was trying to get across is we we are marginalized for not being perfect by people that are not perfect themselves you try to hold us to that standard hold yourself to that fucking standard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobdog Posted September 19, 2023 Share Posted September 19, 2023 5 hours ago, ghostrek said: @scoobdog i think there's just a miss understanding there what I was trying to get across is we we are marginalized for not being perfect by people that are not perfect themselves you try to hold us to that standard hold yourself to that fucking standard You may want to rephrase that sentence, but I get it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostrek Posted September 19, 2023 Author Share Posted September 19, 2023 @scoobdog people like me are held higher standards , then normal/ neurotypical people . May I do my I screw up a lot but it seems like people are harder on me then more normal people Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted September 19, 2023 Share Posted September 19, 2023 (edited) 8 minutes ago, ghostrek said: @scoobdog people like me are held higher standards , then normal/ neurotypical people . May I do my I screw up a lot but it seems like people are harder on me then more normal people what? how are you being held to a higher standard? by whom? becasue if you're not being promoted in these dead end jobs...than who exactly is holding you to a higher standard? people aren't harder on you than most. it's all in your head. you are taking your life way too seriously. and you should stop it. if you don't like your job, find a new one. if you don't like how people treat you , speak up. YOU should be holding yourself to a higher standard, and stop allowing your notion of HOW you think people percieve you. and i really REALLY think this is better served to your therapist. we are not the right people to help. not at all. but you knew that. Edited September 19, 2023 by discolé monade 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobdog Posted September 19, 2023 Share Posted September 19, 2023 1 minute ago, discolé monade said: what? how are you being held to a higher standard? by whom? becasue if you're not being promoted in these dead end jobs...than who exactly is holding you to a higher standard? people aren't harder on you than most. it's all in your head. you are taking your life way too seriously. and you should stop it. if you don't like your job, find a new one. if you don't like how people treat you , speak up. YOU should be holding yourself to a higher standard, and stop allowing your notion of HOW you think people percieve you. and i really REALLY think this is better served to your therapist. we are not the right people to help. not at all. but you knew that. Not to put words in his mouth, but I believe he's referring to his sister-in-law who is being ableist as holding him to an unreasonable standard. Like you said, we're not the people to be giving advice because we don't know what she's saying, why she's saying it, and why he's being passed over for promotions. He certainly could be experiencing prejudice in some form - it's just not our place to be deciding that or tell him what he needs to do. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemini Posted September 19, 2023 Share Posted September 19, 2023 4 minutes ago, scoobdog said: Not to put words in his mouth, but I believe he's referring to his sister-in-law who is being ableist as holding him to an unreasonable standard. Like you said, we're not the people to be giving advice because we don't know what she's saying, why she's saying it, and why he's being passed over for promotions. He certainly could be experiencing prejudice in some form - it's just not our place to be deciding that or tell him what he needs to do. Maybe not. Still, if he really is having to deal with a lot of prejudice and isn't just seeking attention from anywhere he can get it, he needs to stand up for himself and tell them to stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobdog Posted September 19, 2023 Share Posted September 19, 2023 24 minutes ago, Gemini said: Maybe not. Still, if he really is having to deal with a lot of prejudice and isn't just seeking attention from anywhere he can get it, he needs to stand up for himself and tell them to stop. We’ve been telling him that for years. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberbully Posted September 19, 2023 Share Posted September 19, 2023 (edited) 6 minutes ago, scoobdog said: This has gone well Edited September 19, 2023 by cyberbully 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted September 19, 2023 Share Posted September 19, 2023 (edited) 1 hour ago, scoobdog said: Not to put words in his mouth, but I believe he's referring to his sister-in-law who is being ableist as holding him to an unreasonable standard. Like you said, we're not the people to be giving advice because we don't know what she's saying, why she's saying it, and why he's being passed over for promotions. He certainly could be experiencing prejudice in some form - it's just not our place to be deciding that or tell him what he needs to do. ok. well...he's describing what about 80% of us went through as children. my parental unit was verbally and physically abusive. for years, UNTIL I LEFT HOME AT 14. (no sad shit-it's just fucking life) at 15 i had to figure out shit REAL quick. he's been on this kick for almost a decade now. with the same knuckleheads, (me included) giving him the same tired ass suggestions, that he ignores. i would say about 90% of the people HERE feel, in one way or another, inadequate. (me included) yes, we come here to seek acceptance, but ghost...is just dropping the needle on the same, dusty album. Edited September 19, 2023 by discolé monade 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemini Posted September 19, 2023 Share Posted September 19, 2023 1 hour ago, scoobdog said: We’ve been telling him that for years. Yes, we have, and I'm sure I've said that to him before several times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostrek Posted September 20, 2023 Author Share Posted September 20, 2023 But yeah I need to drop this It's i guess it's just hard to understand I work hard and I get nowhere and I see people blame others or do social engineering to advance and I try to work hard to do the best I can and I get nowhere 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted September 20, 2023 Share Posted September 20, 2023 8 minutes ago, ghostrek said: But yeah I need to drop this It's i guess it's just hard to understand I work hard and I get nowhere and I see people blame others or do social engineering to advance and I try to work hard to do the best I can and I get nowhere you don't need to drop it. you need to face it, with your therapist. and what you're describing my man, is life. i'm going to suggest you watch 'joe vs the volcano'. just do it. don't question it. just watch. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
André Toulon Posted September 20, 2023 Share Posted September 20, 2023 *deep breath* I just want to know if I'm following here. You got hired to clean at the butcher shop but you were told you would be promoted soon and you're mad that you're still cleaning up? So, if promoted, what is it you want to do? Like, are you trying to be a butcher? What is the position you want. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
André Toulon Posted September 24, 2023 Share Posted September 24, 2023 Classic 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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