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UnevenEdge

My life fell apart, but at least I'm living the neckbeard, weeb dream


jackiemarie90

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I haven't posted here in a long time, so I don't even know what I haven't updated. Uh, fuck any kind of pants guy at this point. Honestly, I'm sick of living with straight men and their egos. Even though one guy who is somewhat weebish did ask for my number today, I'm over getting crushes. They are the worst distractions, and these men end up changing their minds anyways. 

I have been out of school since the fall semester. I still owe the school $1000, and I can't be a student again until it's paid off. Fuck learning cs at this point. I just hate the departments and I'm giving up on my minor. I am considering preparing for grad school within the coming year, but got to get my debts paid off first. I also owe housing here about $8000, so yeah I'm a broke bitch.

But of all the new students who moved into my house, we have a Japanese grad student move in for the summer and my ass is SCARED!!!!! Like I've just given up trying to be polite in this 55 student housing and have been shouting threats to half the guys here. And she is just so damn quiet, and polite all the time. I've been screaming in my head, "OH MY FUCKING GAWD JACKIE DON'T BE A FUCKING WEEABOO", and there are times that I slip up. >__> But I've shouted around her, and I've been having great conversations with her and she keeps insisting she isn't scared of me. In fact, she hugs me, and loves talking to me. I kinda feel bad cause I get so nervous I just kinda run to my room sometimes. But she is always happy seeing me in the morning, and I think the reason why I do not scare her is that she kinda works the military defense. O__O But she is so adventurous, like loves kickboxing, rock climbing, and scuba certified. Like, some of us in the house are figuring out she is a total badass. I think she knew I had a bad weekend, and today, she washed a plate for me to eat, knowing there weren't any plates left. Who just does that?!?! She is TOO nice and I feel shitty she wants to be my friend cause I'm a chaotic out of control person. She even once mentioned taking me to Okinawa, but I really don't want to take advantage of her like that. I'd imagine so many weebs would want this scenario, but I just want to be a good frand. lol

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10 minutes ago, PhilosipherStoned said:

Well at least your updates seem pretty well condensed lol. Mine are drunken, and often incomprehensible from what I gather. 🙏

Thanks, there is still a lot I haven't said, like the 2 jobs I've worked, and the mass shooter tied to the first job. Oh my god, things have been stressful. XD

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Just now, jackiemarie90 said:

Thanks, there is still a lot I haven't said, like the 2 jobs I've worked, and the mass shooter tied to the first job. Oh my god, things have been stressful. XD

Wow. I get why you might need a bit to process stuff like that into words. I've seen those situations before firsthand. 🙂

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1 minute ago, PhilosipherStoned said:

Wow. I get why you might need a bit to process stuff like that into words. I've seen those situations before firsthand. 🙂

Basically was working at a pop up museum in SF, and they hired a worker who had previously been arrested for attempting mass shootings. No they really didn't do background checks. Dude was also a sexist, racist and was rude to everyone. They fired him, he sent threats and showed up at work about 2 weeks ago, I quit, and now I already have a new job back in body care sales. XD

I'm sure your experiences may have been more intense, I just wanna stay away from people like that.

 

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6 minutes ago, scoobdog said:

Just glad to hear from you, Jackie.

Thanks, I've kinda been really down, and haven't feel like making posts about guys anymore. Honestly, I'm defeated by college life, it just makes me feel like the same insecure nerd I was in high school. I'm much happier insulting half the people in the house, and realizing I kick ass at least I obtaining jobs. XD

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Well, I wouldn't say "don't be a weeaboo" but mostly I would just say don't assume she's into something just because it's popular here...And I'm not just talking about anime, but all cultural things that we may have bastardized.

I've told you before to leave that whole relationship/hooking up/fwb shit alone and get your grades (typical dad shit) but without me being intrusive, I think you really need to keep your personal life separate.  Just seems like you get really close to people quickly and then have severe anxiety when the interaction doesn't play out the way you hoped.  And I only say that because reading your posts, I feel like you create these scenarios in you head that people are avoiding, or talking about you or whatever out of anxiety and paranoia when I would wager the reality is, they totally don't see you or a situation for the disaster you've created in your own brain.  So with all that said, I just feel like getting you some friends outside of the housing situation would be ideal.  I would treat it like work....We share this space for a given amount of time, but my life completely excludes all of you and whatever you have going on *as I pull off to wherever my real friends are*

But it's all just words on the internet, only you truly knows what makes you happy and if you desire to be actively involved in your student housing with everyone else, then do you and do you hard......But me, I'd do exactly what I did in college....Sleep there, and study then get in the wind.

 

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shes your friend bro. just go along for the ride. she sounds pretty cool just enjoy what you two have together for now. sounds like you do enjoy being around her so might as well make the most of it. but yeah dont be a weeaboo lol.

 

the other stuff, well you gotta focus on school always. get that over with then worry about the debt later. theres always debt. anyways good seeing you getting over these crushes lol. 

 

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Honey, I've been here this entire time and I was born in Okinawa. Of course, my personality is shit and I'm antisocial af.

Anyway, she's just a person. Don't put her on a pedestal just cause she's Japanese and you like her culture. She apparently likes you enough to be your friend. This all actually sounds more promising than your previous boy troubles. Good for you.

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