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UnevenEdge

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Posted

Word association: Panties remind me of Teddy Bears for they are soft and cuddly, Dildos remind me of Baby Sharks for they are slippery and rubbery, and Schlongs remind me of lively hot dogs arranged like Dugtrio from Pokémon.

Posted

Yes yes, shadow banned. Open and shut case.

 

 

Why'd ya do it?

 

 

*approaches the OKC mod with badass intentions, coming in full speed, cracking knuckles on the way*

Posted

I was wtching something a while ago and found out they sell hot dogs in jars in Korea........Shit's weird.

 

Vienna sausages? >.>

Posted

Zeni sniffs his mom's panties. its ok bro owo owo

 

 

Speaking of Korea, I saw this Korean "roasted seaweed" snack at the checkout aisle of my local supermarket. First time I've EVER seen that! Looked like the shelf was completely full though.

Posted

You always told me be yourself and it would happen, so now you guys owe me.

 

 

I'm not in a rush, so take your time, but below is a good template for my league of lady, so find one and fulfill my quest for true  <3, and we'll be even!

 

 

fbb47a0fe85066e24881950ad746ec29.jpg

Posted

Probably something about you just being so overwhelmingly qualified for being, like, every girl (and several dogs) perfect bae. Had to take you out of there lest the other guys get shunned by all the hot babes.

Posted

You need to put my account back in the game. I was talking to multiple girls and probably close to meeting up with them and spending seven minutes in heaven before utz utz utz utz crazy bed sex crazy bed sex, but now if I come at them with a new profile, they'll think I'm some kind of murderer on the run from the FBI, so just do the right thing, bro. I don't want this to go where it could be going... *equips brass knuckles*

Posted

And with a wave of my magic wand!

 

Herpes.

 

Sorry about that. Was supposed to uh...well I dont know what wands do. Maybe they just give out STDs.

 

Anyways! That should narrow down your options immensely but now the only ones left are ready to play ball.  :)

Posted

1. DON'T delete her number. (I got pissed one night and made this mistake, and now I'm screwed)

2. Add her on social media (I don't have any of these anymore, so I'm screwed)

3. Wait for her to get back on OkCupid (She made a new profile, but hasn't logged in since last April, so I'm screwed)

4. Approach her in person if you know where she works or goes to school (I don't want to because the Democrats twisted this into "stalking" when it was fine and romantic in Shakespeare's time)

5. Somehow find out someplace she'll be and go there, and then proclaim, "Wow what a coincidence! We went on that date a few years back! What are the chances?"

 

 

 

 

<3

Posted

Do NOT call her out on being single because she chose the wrong guy. We all know it, but she'll be really sensitive and block your number if you do. You have to be "chill" about this and pretend like she didn't make a HUGE MISTAKE THAT SHE'LL REGRET BY BLOWING YOU OFF FIVE YEARS AGO!!!! *punches wall repeatedly*

 

 

Just be "chill", man. :)

Posted

You've gotta be on at least, what, 12 different watchlists by now, right?

 

I dunno... I'm a humble guy. I'm sure some HOTTIES are watching me, but I don't pay any attention!  ;)

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