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UnevenEdge

Tell me about your day.


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Posted

So yeah a while ago, I was at the gym, i was i was flexing a bit, working on my quads my glutoids my deltoids my trihaptoids and my polygons, and ill admit I was looking pretty damn good, sweat dripping off my chiselled abs in the sunlight and I looked over to my right and saw, I saw the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on, I tell you. She was gorgeous, rich dark hair, big blue eyes, perfect figure, the hole shebang, and I looked over to her and I winked, she looked over to me, one hand in her hair and giggled, but the game we were playing didn't last long because suddenly a guy came in trying to rob the gym, I looked into the mirror thinking what am I gonna do? So i picked up the biggest dumbbell did about a hundred reps and knocked the guy clean out with the dumbbell, I was a hero, I saved the day and the girl, she came up to me and said, Wow! How did you do that? I said, all in a days work, she asked me if I wanted to dinner and I said sure, it could be fun. Later that night we went back to my place where we made sweet love and she bore me 8 beautiful children, all of whom were Master and Grandmaster rank in overwatch and each one had an impeccable physique. One day we were all in the park when a group of black guys came up to us, nothing racist about that, they were... I could just tell something was up, y'know they were just up to no good. A few moments later they walked up to us, trousers hanging low, when suddenly one pulled a knife out on my wife, she was horrified and started to scream, but that was short lived as the other one covered her mouth. Not knowing what to do I leaped onto the guy with the knife, thinking that my enormous muscles would crush him and lt my love free. After a minute of struggling I killed him with his knife, it was enough to send his buddies running, thats for sure but my kids were scarred, and I could see people calling the cops. A few minutes later the cops arrived and asked me and my wife to come in the car, and told us we have 5 minutes to get someone to look after the kids while they talked to us. So i rang my mother, I had to explain to her what had happened and i'll be honest she got scared alright, then she said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel air.

 

#bless

Posted

I have yet to put on pants and its been great aside from the gasps and snickering at the store where you'd think a man could buy groceries in peace, but noooooo peeps gotta be eye ballin ya and ish

 

:robot|

Posted

my daughters school opened 2 hours later and i waited in this long ass line and was LATE TO WORK...breaking my RECORD of not being late EVER the ENTIRE year....was only one minute BUT STILL ....my RECORD! ??????????????????????????????????

Posted

Kids.

 

Can't live with 'em, usually can't get away with getting rid of 'em.

 

shoulda dropped her off at the curb and sped off but no had to be a good mom and drop her off in front of the door. fml.

 

k i stop lol

Posted

Pretty sure a lady older than my grandma told me she wanted my wiener at the grocery store today.

 

were you standing next to the Oscar Myer stand, holding a pack?

Posted

I was near them but I wasn't holding any.

 

Maybe I just like to think the worst of anyone using the motorized carts when I don't think they need one.

Posted

I was near them but I wasn't holding any.

 

Maybe I just like to think the worst of anyone using the motorized carts when I don't think they need one.

 

Hey, I need it to race my friend who's been riding them since he broke his leg last year....it's healed now, but it's a life time access thing, you understand

Posted

I submitted an application for a residency/fellowship in the hopes of attaining funding solely to write a completed draft for my novel, went to work, then came home to stream Outlast 2.

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