Sawdamizer Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 I was talking to my brother, who is high up in IT with a big company, and we were talking about how to be complimentary to the opposite sex (or same sex if you gay) vs being a total creep.... So, as a manager, I always have to be careful what I say, obviously, BUT I think because of my age and I am not a bad looking guy (I try and stay humble). So, there have been many times when I am opening the office for everyone and letting people in to the building I have complimented women on their outfit, example : "Good Morning Crissy, that is a very pretty dress" and their response is a giggle or a smile and saying thank you... and I can see they have a better attitude for a lot if not the rest of the day. Now, the opposite of that would be, "Hey Crissy, you look hot in that skirt!". I think I am awarded favor because of certain things, but I wonder if my same original message would be as well received if someone that was in their 50s, fat, balding, stains on their shirt and just all around not nice to look at aesthetically, let alone creepy demeanor... Though, I do compliment both sexes evenly I think, "Love that tie", "Great shoes!", "New hair? Looks good, I like it" What do you think? Have you been on the receiving end of this situation? Would it have been different for any reason, if you were offended? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
André Toulon Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 I'm simply charismatic......I can do both because I'm genuinely a nice guy, but I know how to pull off crass and uncouth in such a way that it comes off as playful and not creepy. Both a gift and a curse really because that has earned me the title comfort negro Anyway, I saw this on a friend's wall and I was just like "boy, feminism is trying real hard to stay relevant". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawdamizer Posted August 16, 2017 Author Share Posted August 16, 2017 "comfort negro" That's like our version of friend zoned, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
André Toulon Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 "comfort negro" That's like our version of friend zoned, right? Well, yes and no.......I mean it applies to men that I interact with as well, and rarely have I been frienzoned by a woman I pursue....But women that I'm just being nice to will still try to interact with me more and more and I wind up regretting engaging to begin with because I honestly don't like people despite people liking me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bnmjy Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 I wouldn't put much thought into this. Many women would still act receptively to fat, balding, 50 year olds complimenting them. Of course they would be creeped out, but they won't say anything about it to that person's face most of the time. I'm speaking from experience, having female coworkers in food service who sometimes tell me when a customer creeped them out. As long as you don't have creepy intentions, you shouldn't worry, I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still Me Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 well...in RL I really can't take complements...I like to turn it into a insult and jokingly tease the person giving the complement...so it really doesn't matter what they look like...me on the other hand...I love talking to people...or connecting with people I've never met...so I laugh and joke with people over silly things or I'll walk right up to someone and say "omg I love that top! Where did you get that..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wacky1980 Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 "Good Morning Crissy, that is a very pretty dress" Though, I do compliment both sexes evenly I think, "Love that tie", "Great shoes!", "New hair? Looks good, I like it" i'd like to watch you wander through your day, masquerading as an upstanding member of society. i'll provide the laugh track. my bank is a small one. 3/4 of the staff are women. however, 3/4 of the executive / administrative level and up are men, including 100% of the board and all but one loan officer. we have a couple officers who hit creep-level with how they talk to secretaries and tellers (i'm sure they'd say they're just making conversation, but it's more about body language than actual language), and our president has a tendency to bed female staff on occasion, but pretty much everyone else avoids crossing that line like the plague. i manage IT and bookkeeping. it's been my goal since starting here 8 years ago, to keep my departments as informal and loose as possible. helps lighten the mood and break the monotony. we crack jokes and use language that would curl toes in the front offices, and sometimes we get chewed out for it (well, usually just me). but we've never, to my knowledge, had an issue with someone being uncomfortable to the extent that it caused an issue. the bar is juuust a bit different. i used to get hit on a lot when i pulled shifts as a bartender (younger, thinner, more attractive version of me anyways), most often by older women with whom i wouldn't entertain the thought. that sometimes got a bit awkward, but it was usually just annoying and never got offensive to someone who's not easily offended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God-Says-No Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 wow girl you are hot is both compliment and creepy all depends on how attractive you are Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mochi Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 I have no idea how to talk to actual human beings offline so I usually don't have long conversations, I just say the barest things that are needed to be said (like talking to cashiers) to survive as a person I.e. I have no idea how to complimemt people Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
André Toulon Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lupin_bebop Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 Yep. It would be different, based upon different situation. I'm very careful about how I compliment people, too. I have to be, as my birth unfortunately dictates to people that I will act a certain way, because that's the standard they've been given. I'm also in the "comfort negro" boat, as well, because I'm a genuinely nice person, charismatic when I need to be, and a little strange and nerdy, too. Having said that, I also can pull off being crass and racy without being dirty or creepy. It's because I have made enough deposits in the clean territory that it's not seen as creepy, but as playing around or joking, because I'm not seriously like that. I do like to toe the line, if possible, because it's fun to see how people react to neutrality and indifference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggnificent Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 I like to tell random girls that theyre pretty because i know it means more to them coming from another girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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