Seight

Me reading the news online: "So nobody is sure if he's retiring or not, got it." Me seeing the BottomLine on ESPN: "there's no gotdamn way 1,000 white doves carried Brady's jersey to Heaven after the last time he took it off, come on"

Me after having to send out literally hundreds of thousands of W2s/1098/1099 forms and still not being done yet: "okay I think I'm starting to understand the Libertarian's points here."

The Kellogg's employee that suggested this idea

Fart! *checks earpiece* I'm being told that isn't it.

My honest non-sarcastic answer is "I imagine people who use drugs don't really care what goes in their body, so the vaccine is just whatever to them."

*deep breath* DANHAUSEN WAS JUST ON DYNAMITE THIS IS NOT A DRILL TRAMPOLINE TRAMBAMPOLINE!

"This will be my golden moment" -Mitch McConnell in the beginning stages of a plan to convince America that a President with 35.5 months left in his term is a "Lame Duck" and shouldn't appoint a new justice

TIRED: MLB and the MLBPA threatening the start of the season by engaging in slow labor negotiations WIRED: The Baseball Hall of Fame voters retroactively cancelling the 1998 season