Me reading the news online: "So nobody is sure if he's retiring or not, got it."
Me seeing the BottomLine on ESPN: "there's no gotdamn way 1,000 white doves carried Brady's jersey to Heaven after the last time he took it off, come on"
Me after having to send out literally hundreds of thousands of W2s/1098/1099 forms and still not being done yet: "okay I think I'm starting to understand the Libertarian's points here."