nameraka

life is the game. death is the prize.

it is not a universal truth that more is better. more cancer, for example. not so much better. 😐

Had a friend in college who became a funeral director. She makes good money.

Clearly you've never had a bad blow job. I hate you.

Is a dead job. ☠️

i notice you're spelling burt reynolds wrong. i mean, that is the mustache of a god... with a mustache.

i got it in the throat. they took the swab from there too.

everything or nothing (we're talking about bagels here, right?)

Oh. You meant that literally. *Pulls pants up*

Could someone please kill me virtually? This is so fucking boring. Also, could someone order a pizza? Not pizza hut though. The last time I ordered there it was fucking nasty. Or, again, the death thing would also be fine.

here you go.

i thought it was a synthetic drug that made you eat faces...

You have no idea how sorry I am to hear that. Say hi to all my inbred swamp dwelling cousins for me, wont you?

That would be a bit of a tell.

you really need a comma in that title.

you don't. you conceal carry. i guess, open carry would be like making everything rattle when you enter a room or something.

Throwing knives count unless being guided by the aforementioned psychic powers. Unless, of course you have a permit.

melee weapons only. psychic powers only if you have a concealed carry permit.

count yourself lucky. i so wish i could just go without for awhile then pick it back up. i tried once. once.

jesus. sounds like your dad didn't need to drink. i've never been a violent drunk, just a stupid one. got tired of the stupid. i was putting away about a pint of liquor every weeknight and two fifths over the weekend. this went on for more than 20 years. i've been on the cusp of this for awhile now. the trip to the er was just the push i needed. i tried playing at moderation; i tried bargaining and rationalizing with myself. the truth is, i envy people who can have a normal relationship with alcohol. i'm not one of them. i'm out.

had a seizure and spent some time in the icu reflecting on my poor judgement. i'm done, done.

I wish I could. This sobriety shit blows.

Yeah we have kind of a limited budget. Help yourself to the “kool aid” though.

You know what else is uncut and really good?

Omg the world sucks! Did you guys know the world sucks? i mean wtf? I always heard you guys bitching about it, but DAMN!