nameraka

I was going to say an enema. i would have been wrong.

no. i see no value in that and refuse to be swayed into thinking deeply about myself or how i interact with the world.

Never ever ever.

nope. these are good. you know what else is good? pickled cactus.

flange

boring works of literature that would be greatly improved with the addition of zombies moby dick with zombies: the intrepid crew of the pequod mostly sit around and list the ship's supplies whilst hunting the elusive and somehow incredibly boring white whale. then they start turning into zombies. the sun also rises and sometimes... zombies: a bunch of whiney rich expats traipse around europe moaning about their first world problems until... zombies. finnegan's wake: whatever the fuck is happening in this book is because of... zombies.

i had nothing to do with it. *hides poison*

a recently mauled zebra.

You do not have the proper clearance level to die. Not at your rank. Try applying again in a few years.

Gary Oldman knows know shame, but he knows yours.

that's the saddest title for a country song ever simply by implication.

i would have tried this first https://www.theonion.com/remington-releases-000009-millimeter-anti-viral-bullet-1842661900

like two minutes ago. i am so good.

Nope. Classic lycanthropy symptoms.

I just saved money on my car insurance by switching to geico.

I did.

wow. i am... old enough to get that.

fat tire

i wish i knew how to do but stuff.

although the sob story about your diabetic Guatemalan aunt and your quest to bring her to the states for treatment was really compelling, we just have to ask.... what the fuck dude?

I wish I knew how to do butt stuff.