bnmjy

pop cialis like candy, protest with a sign " wat the fuk is this realy wat you want kid to see "

Well, ok. I warned you. "Miss Piggy wanted to get really kinky the one night. I was licking inside her delicious prosciutto folds as usual, but this time she told me to go deeper. I'm pretty sure I licked her cervix before. But then it hit me . . . she wanted me to go inside. Now I do have a long froggy tongue, if I do say so myself. I entered her cervix and she just froze in space, dead-eyed, in complete shock. I wasn't sure if she liked it or not. My tongue stayed at her cervical entrance for a good minute, and she stayed frozen. I decided to hell with it, and started going in deeper. Miss Piggy started bobbing her head back in forth, slowly at first. As my tongue slithered deeper into her fallopian tube, the bobbing hastened. And when my tongue reached her ovary, she froze again. Instead of waiting for another awkward minute, I started licking. Miss Piggy started screaming and oinking in an ecstatic frenzy. I had never seen anything like it before. It didn't take long before she climaxed. She immediately fell asleep, snoring loudly. Anyway, she wants to do it again."

I have another scenario in my head . . . much worse, if you're up for the challenge. Edit: never mind. I think it's way too obscene

Happy birthday

We're all sluts sometimes . . . well most of us, at least.

Have fun. Maybe take pictures and share with us. Sorry about Japan . . . shutting their borders is one of their ancient traditions after all, lol

"Why do my fingers smell like bacon? Oh right, Miss Piggy . . . *licking noise* Mmm, tastes just like a finely aged prosciutto."

Just like the uemb asmr in df, this begins with a declaration of love for fugg's hooha

I love fugg's hooha. I want the world to see just how beautiful it is.

bridget jones' diary

I went to the dollar store and noticed the headlines for National Enquirer: Nuclear warfare, WW3 is just weeks away from starting! Who the fuck still reads the Enquirer anymore anyway? But Matt Leblanc is now 300 lbs, so I guess that was interesting to know.

Might as well get your thread from someone who was always nice to you, I suppose.

So this is clearly all your fault.

I had Chipotle today, as I haven't had it in months. They didn't have any guacamole. Figures, with the avocado shortage going on . . . but it's like the main thing they have going for them.

You don't remember the one vid of a bbc fucking a mcchicken?

You should have made him do the McChicken.

Gas near me has been stuck at 4.30 for over a week now. Hard to believe a year ago, I was only paying around 2.75 a gallon.

I know. I saw that at the last moment. Oops, sorry. I used to work night shifts too, and caffeine did little to nothing. I just developed a nicotine addiction instead, and it didn't help me stay awake at all. 😑

Starbucks uses 2 tablespoons per 6 ounces, and naturally their coffee has twice the amount of caffeine than regular coffee bought anywhere else. While we're on the topic, dry tea leaves actually have more caffeine than coffee beans. The end product has less caffeine because you only need one teaspoon of leaves for an 8 ounce cup versus one tablespoon of grinds for a 6 ounce cup of coffee. Edit: misread your post.

I'll most likely respond to your pathetic profile with a gif.

Magic pussy ✨🍑🍆💦✔️💯🚕👋🚬

There are two Russian youtubers I watch. One involved a woman showing minimalism in Russia. She learned English by herself, and wanted to show others daily Russian life. Well, she just left the country to Uzbekistan. I guess it's better than being in Russia, but it is a former Soviet territory. Considering how bad Russia is handling Ukraine, I think she'll be safe. The other channel is this Russian guy who came to America and studied at a historical black college. He married a black woman, and they both moved to Russia. I'm interested in seeing how this one plays out. They've yet to say anything about the Ukraine situation at all, unlike the other channel.

I'm not spoiler tagging anything. The device has a primary purpose that is completely safe for work. https://www.amazon.com/Hitachi-Rechargeable-Original-Massager-Certified/dp/B00YFUMFCM