Doom Metal Alchemist

Me too.

So what do you got against Chong?

Better than what Shinji did.

Well you can rest easy that the way you grew up is normal for people younger than you.

Why is Asuka a giraffe

Loves Tao's nuts.

Poast mor

Nope.

Oof... You got denied?

Happy birthday!

Agreed. The ketchup masks the taste of the salt. I want the salt taste!

My god. Did you need glasses since birth but your parents didn't figure it out until you were 2?

Goes around pantsless because seight ate his only pair of shorts and he just never bothered to buy any more.

I wish they'd bring back Mountain Dew Spark.

I assumed reading glasses were just for far sighted people. What I didn't realize was far sighted people would need "regular" glasses as well as reading glasses. There's a lot of people in family that wear/wore glasses (the "wore" either got lasik or mainly wear contacts) and i think they're all near sighted. Exception: my dad. His only glasses are reading glasses.

Just because I don't need reading glasses doesn't mean I have good eyes, lol. If I wanted to read without my glasses on I would have to hold the page basically right up to my nose. But I'm still near sighted, not farsighted, so my glasses are to see in general, not just to read.

I'll be 42 in a couple months.

Only normal glasses here.

Gets jealous of his dog when it drinks out of the toilet, as he wishes he could do the same without any social consequences.

Good lord. I always hated U.S. Acres and just sat through it because I wanted to watch Garfield. Also, as much as I loved the cartoon, the strip was better.

Welp, I'm ready for winter to fuck all the way off now.

I'm hungry but I don't want to get up.

Had a near-death experience where he was playing chess with Hitler in hell. Just as he was about to take Hitler's king and declare checkmate, his soul instantly got sucked back into his body, reviving his earthly form.

Invented the mullet back in 1977.

I was hoping you knew what time zone he lived in. I guess I was wrong?