Zenigundam

The average Nintendo Switch owner:

Enough about the Gamecube, this ain't 2002, Switch is where the heavy hitters go to rock out.

Why would I tie myself down to one girl when I can have many without them knowing? 🤵🍾🛀💖

So let me get this straight in 2006 in Babbling when I was asking for help dating chicks I had crushes on to break out of my early, post-pubescent, dry spell, it was fine and nobody saw anything from, but lately there's a problem with me going after the young women? Smh makes no sense, have y'all changed or something because of politics? 🤦‍♂️

WHOA! Hold on... *steps to you* Tone down the aggression, bro. I'm a nice guy, but somebody else might have snapped and pummeled you if you screamed at him like that. 👮‍♂️🔥🚘💪😐

Netflix was always overrated and never as good as good ole cable television.

That scene in The Quiet when the dirty old dad started kissing the hot blonde, felt like spoiled dark chocolate candy honestly, like the aroma in my head

I like in Empire Records when he lost the money and the hot casino babe instantly dipped

Steven Seagal is... *gunshots* Above the Law

The giggle chills. *taps feet* Oh yeah the giggle chils. *fingers snapping*

All I ever wanted was to show her that video... The alpha muscle game too powerful... *Looks up longingly at the night sky, hair rustling in the wind, camera pans upward and then scene changes to the bedroom of a legal age teenage HS senior lying on her stomach in her bed, jotting down notes in her journal, feet crossed in the air behind her, such tender feeeeeeeet (😧), she looks out her open window at the starry night sky and has a vision of a young lone wolf alpha male warrior and she sighs* "Someday I'll find you, Zeni-kun. I know you exist. 👸"

😌🏋️‍♂️🐼🍕👫👨‍🔬💪

Hell if I remember that was ages ago

🚘🚘🚘

A red one with leather seats, it was cool... it was cool... 😐

I was never banned from here lol. Wow you can't believe everything you hear, I told you guys I was on vacation to different countries and on one of my vacations I went to the Jersey Shore with a convertible with four girls who I met at the casino, total legal age hotties, and the cops tried to bust our balls for drinking on the beach and parking my convertible in the sand, but I stepped to him and he pretended to have a call on his walkie and had to leave, also stop calling him "Rodgers". 🤵🐻💖🐰🍪🍾😌

Love arrows like Cupid, but that's not my style. Cupid hooks other people up, I lean in for the 👄👄👄 *body freezes up with the giggle chills*

But it was all for naught because Milarkie achieved the fame in a cringy interview with attention that he obviously didn't want. The sexy babes... legal age babes... weren't into copycats. Yeah I smashed a few of them off of the FC, and I know they like alpha males and pioneers. Well loved them, wow that sex was amazing... 😧🐰💖👫🏋️‍♂️

GSN tried to get his post count extremely high to impress the ladies, but Milarkie was undoubtedly the first Order of the Owl in early '06 and was interviewed and given access to sexy women.

But I am serious. I love these legal love triangles I find myself in. *throws a rose* 🐻💖🧛‍♂️

Damn I wanna be a manager myself. I have the alpha flow for the job. 🐻 "Excuse me... Sir? Sir! You are stealing that PS4! 'LP send backup to the front entrance- I'm taking him down'" *administers a beat down to the shoplifters and high fives the cops who cuff him* 🏋️‍♂️🔥🚘🛀👮‍♂️

Metal Gear Solid

It's coming out on Switch in a few months. Patience, dude, the PS4 crowd is too old, made up of senior citizens.

Let's wait for the Switch version. Those Nintendo Switch feels. *fantasizes about playing Dragon Quest XI on Switch with legal age high school junior women*