Mmmm interesting. I'd love to read more if you come out with other interesting things. My favorite part was the way in which the story's main plot point was worked in gradually while referencing everything else so as to state it without stating it. It was a good practice in reading comprehension.
I have a bunch of short stories around here on one of my external hard drives, maybe I should post them sometime. I get embarrassed about such things though, mostly cause I'm a perfectionist and is also why I struggle to finish anything that I work on, unfortunately. OCD is a killer sometimes. Not to mention most of them are horror stories that are either very dark and graphic or very strange in general.