Codename: Jackass

Northern British white trash will do that to you.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

I'm disturbed but intrigued.

Food is expired Coffee scorched in the carafe I hate you, first shift.

I think we all do.

I thought of death Customers screaming "I want scratch-offs"

This one time I had a cat go missing for like a week when I was a kid. We'd let our cats out of the house but they'd never stray far, and if they stayed gone it was usually only a day max, but after she never came back we figured she was dead. We looked around the neighborhood and called but she never came. Later that night she comes meowing up to the front door like she'd been gone for an hour, not over a week. She wasn't skinny or sick, so we figured someone was feeding her. Cats aren't helpless, even if it's cold outside your cat's probably still going to turn up in a day or two. It'll come back once it gets hungry enough or runs out of vermin to kill. It might have found a food dish somewhere else. But yeah, try leaving out its litter box or some food, your cat will probably smell it and come. They really don't go all that far from home.

I saw a pair of TRUCK NUTZ a few months ago, hadn't seen it in forever, and I just laughed and laughed. I couldn't imagine the thought process it would take to do something like that, but, then again, I don't think people who are drawn to tacky shit like that think very much at all.

I burned my tongue why god why

What the fuck are you doing? Is that Slint? What is going on?

RIP in peace I will remember you always when I visit my local liberry.

Use your ears

A pleasure to serve you. Seriously though, I am sorry it turned out that way.

If I find one tonight I'll take a picture of it.

They're all over the place. I see them all the time.

Texas

Don't take in stray marsupials.

Were onto you, Illuminati.

My internal monologue says "freend." Also, friend is only one letter away from fiend. Hmmm...

Nah man

btw I'm having barbeque Don't ask what kind of meat it is

BYOB Keep all pot or other goodies on the down-low.

It's a lot easier and I do enjoy a good bonfire.