GunStarHero

I think my buyer would be stoked until they turned the engine on.

Hentai aside... I never considered myself a big anime fan, but when I was a teenager I read tons of manga and watched a good bit of anime. A fair portion of the anime I watched was whatever I could find at the local movie rental place and the comic shows that were held at the mall. There were quite a few one-offs that I would come across, sometimes original works but more often than not just a condensed version of some manga that didn't quite warrant a full-blown series. Can't say I cared for those, typically speaking. But I always loved ninjas. Their mysterious origins and cultures combined with the surge of '80s and '90s action movies and cartoons kept me hooked as a kid. It was inherently exciting. Speed Racer was neither of those things, but I was going to judge all of anime by watching one or two things. It's a medium all its own. The first anime I ever saw was actually a Rumiko Takahashi film called Fire Tripper. It confused the living shit out of me and it's no wonder people haven't heard of it. But I craved more of that Eastern culture and action. American cartoons were great, and I loved a lot of the ones I watched during the '90s, and reruns of stuff from the '80s or earlier. The lone, VHS copy of Ninja Scroll at the nearby Premiere Video introduced a violent, action-packed, and terrifying side of cartoons I had never seen before, especially considering I had to be like 5 or 6 when we rented our copy. See, my dad would grab me any and all VHS tapes with either a ninja on the cover or in the title. Big Ninja Turtle fan, but at the same time, I couldn't get enough of those awesomely bad '80s ninja movies they had been churning out overseas since the '60s. In fact, I still watch those movies to this day. I have nearly 300 martial arts movies in my collection. But regardless of all of that, I certainly wasn't hooked on anime. Enter Toonami. When I was in elementary school, Toonami shifted from Moltar-hosted action block to an after school type spiel with TOM the robot and SARA the AI. It was a neat little setup with a pair of 3D hosts following along with the audience as the shows played throughout the afternoon. It introduced me to Outlaw Star, one of my all-time favorite shows ever, and things like Sailor Moon and Mobile Suit Gundam. But it was the heavy hitter Dragonball Z that really drew me in. I had heard of it quite a bit from all the shows I had been going to, but now it was licensed in the United States, dubbed in English, and available for free, every weekday afternoon on Cartoon Network, a channel I had already been watching for the American shows. The appeal became the scope a lot of these anime shows presented to me. The cartoons I was used to watching liked to tell short stories that often came full circle or wrapped up nicely in anywhere from 11 to 23 minutes. The next episode did not depend on previous ones and all of them could be easily digested in any order the audience pleased. But anime had these grand stages, high stakes, sprawling stories, and unique cast members. If you missed an episode you could redeem yourself by catching the recap at the beginning of the broadcast, but missing too many episodes would leave you in the dust quick, fast, and in a hurry. I had been accustomed to seeing quirky characters interacting with one another, going on weekly adventures in my American shows, but the Japanese ones took me on the epic journeys. It was like a sort of Games of Thrones for kids and it blew me away. My interest in martial arts only grew when I would watch these battles to the death every week as the heroes leapt into the fray with the evil doers. And as time went on, I got to see all new shows, with their own respective bands of heroes and villains in all new worlds and settings. Sure, there was stuff like this already but none of it was being targeted at kids, much less broadcast on a kids network. I just ate that shit up. Dragonball Z shirts, toys, cards, games, clothes--just Dragonball Z everything. Not to mention Pokemon coming in strong on the marketing with two games, an anime, and merchandise galore. I was overwhelmed with the zeitgeist of kids' media. However, as time went on I started noticing trends. The things that I had come to love about anime had become the most boring, predictable aspects. The writing was formulaic. The stories were just the same song and dance, leaving us on ridiculous cliffhangers every week. I began to notice a lot of the protagonists were either kids, teenagers or young adults. No doubt a correlation intended to entice the very same fan base. So many of these stories focused on school kids jumping into crazy new worlds or discovering powers, but few and far between really made that intriguing enough to keep coming back for more. Even the American dubs hit this weird stride with voiceover work, nigh ruining some shows with shoddy acting and dialogue alone. And since anime had a long history in Japan, and the US seemed to enjoy the first couple of waves that came over, it was like the floodgates had been opened and every little nothing show got some sort of American release. There were still good shows, because anime is a medium, not a genre, but they seemed to be getting harder and harder to find. Save for [adult swim]'s triumphant little block of anime, I could hardly be bothered to check any other shows out. I am by no means saying anime is intended for children, but a good portion of it is clearly made with them in mind. Some of my favorite shows are anime, like the oft referenced King of Cool: Cowboy Bebop. And of course shows like Outlaw Star were just right time, right place kinda shows that I latched onto in my youth, that I would later find merit in when I got older. Even newer shows like Space Dandy and One Punch Man were so unique and entertaining, I instantly fell in love with them. But those are outliers for me these days. Try as I might to watch anime again, I always so quickly notice the depth (or lack thereof) and imminent danger these shows like to pretend they actually have. It's just so boring for me. It doesn't help that newer releases like Sword Art Online came out swinging and had me hooked on the first episode and no less than two episodes later I absolutely hated it. It's poorly written and while it may be pretty, that doesn't excuse the general vapid nature of a show that likes to think it's clever. Sincerely, I mean no ill-will to those whom enjoy the medium, but I can't really count myself as an anime fan. I just like some shows that happen to be anime is all. All that text, and no answer. Ain't I a rascal?

Hentai.

Found this beautiful bastard at a thrift shop. Going to be watching it next.

I think my most memorable lines were written around the time I had come out to my family and ended up beaten and homeless. I'll have to dig through my documents when I get home to find them, though.

Sounds like we both had some fun with holes.

Best spuds.

Last time I went to Florida I was but a lass. And I dug a giant hole until we left the beach. Some days I miss that sand pit of death.

Pizza Day is good. But have you tried Pizza Month?

I got so much bling they call me Lord of the Rings.

What kind of voice work?

I do hope things get better or at the very least taken more seriously, due to the aforementioned incident, I get offended when someone drops the hotline number and leaves it at that. I do recognize many people dont seem to know what the right move is and in lieu of making the wrong move they opt to give out a phone number they were taught to use in such situations. Just shitty that it's such a useless thing.

Tired of the rampant incompetence most of my bosses exhibit at work.

I actually tried calling one several years ago and it was the most infuriating thing ever. The guy just called the sheriff and hung up. Then the sheriff shows up and offers to chat but recommends the hotline, which just repeated the cycle. Sheriff wouldn't do anything unless I was actively harming others, either. Useless.

No need to be realistic. Except the hat. So help me god if that hat doesn't look real!

Paint a happy albino crocodile.