[classic swim]

Bums a light for his Candy cigarettes.

Bought a queef jar from Fuggs.

Made online betting out of Hungry Hungry Hippos.

He needed an outstanding loan and the popular CEO he knew said “Seiiiiiiiggggggghhht, here’s twenty million dollars!!”

Sure love having my eardrums assraped by Emergency Alert when I’m listening to Marvin Gaye. Like I can’t read the alert you sent in bold caps you gotta play the autistic fucking noise too.

He was reincarnated as a cat and this happened.

You should’ve went to the sperm bank and robbed all the sperm.

He’s Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes.

Saw me at 6AM and tackled me to the ground only because he always wanted to tackle a guy in a chicken costume and punch him a little bit.

Got banned from a Subway in Kentucky because he went “A-SHALK SHALK A-SHALK SHALK SHALK SHALK TALKIN’ SHIT DAT’S ALL YOU CAN DOOO, TALK SHIT BITCH!”

He walked into Taco John’s and thought he could stay at the lobby all day ‘cause it brought a smile on his face.

The mail that never fails make him wanna wag his tail.

I googled his age because I don’t believe you that he’s 53 and your RIP thread from 2022 came up.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHA PICKLE RUCK11!1!1!1!!1!1!1

Getting close. Turning it off if it’s really more Rick & Morty shit.

Brings a needle to the beach and deflates the volleyball every time it rolls over to him on accident.

Puts a scoop of ice cream on his head with a cherry on top so he can be the Ice Cream Man and impress the divas.

40-50 years ago, Playboy pages were needed to pull your pudd... there was no vulgar comedy of any sort on TV. So you needed MAD Magazine when reruns of Hogan’s Heroes weren’t cutting it. There’s a good 30 year stretch where MAD’s only capable of flaccid bullshit potshots against something so very out of their league. They’re the satire comic that omits they were only funny when Civil Rights leaders were still alive.