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UnevenEdge

[classic swim]

SwimSuperstar
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Everything posted by [classic swim]

  1. [classic swim]
    Took a big swirl cone of ice cream and gently dumped it on top of a man’s bald head sitting down because he couldn’t resist.
  2. [classic swim]
    Got a plastic giraffe mask at the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle and when his wife said “ok honey let’s put away the plastic giraffe mask” he turned around and went “RAHHHHHH!”
  3. [classic swim]
    He’s self-invited to every bachelor party that involves bouncing titties on his head.
  4. [classic swim]
    Parrillada Suprema.
  5. [classic swim]
    Fucking lol, at that point just let it end.
  6. [classic swim]
  7. [classic swim]
    He’s the man of the land he’s into discipline, he’s got a hoyhoy in his hand and a beard on his chin.
  8. [classic swim]
    Listened to Trapped in The Drive-Thru a hundred times when it came out.
  9. [classic swim]
    https://robertpaulson.com/motion-graphics-animation EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE THE ORIGINAL PILOT JUST GOT RELEASED AND NO ONE GIVES A SHIT BUT ME, PETAH
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  11. [classic swim]
    He’ll dress up like the Monopoly guy at the Kentucky Derby and invite me to his lounge.
  12. [classic swim]
    Collects empties so he can throw around Molotov cocktails and laugh like a supervillain.
  13. [classic swim]
    He gave her a big plastic flamingo from a yard sale to make up for the lost unicycle.
  14. [classic swim]
    Takes awhile for the dealing minigame in Chinatown Wars to kick in but yeah. Stole 9 pounds of H and coke from the Italians and sold it back to the stupid fucks for 16K.
  15. [classic swim]
    Picked up good meats at the place I pretend is Satriale’s.
  16. [classic swim]
    Has a crack in his giblets.
  17. [classic swim]
    No!
  18. [classic swim]
    Picks up the sudden contagious habit of self googling.
  19. [classic swim]
    Gave him a discount on latex balloons of feet that he could pop inside of his ass.
  20. [classic swim]
  21. [classic swim]
    A talking hillbilly grandma goldfish got mad at him underwater because he said she keeps responding to spam texts and that’s why someone texted her that she was sexy while the police were at the fish neighbors house.
  22. [classic swim]
    His geometry teacher called him Ebenezer Scrooge for not donating to the food drive.
  23. [classic swim]
    Is really Plok.
  24. [classic swim]
    Puts food in each suitcase and snarks as TSA runs it through.
  25. [classic swim]
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