[classic swim]

When he sees a movie on TV he doesn’t like he’ll undo his pants and sit on a whole set of hot mashed potatoes in front of the lady he’s dating.

Just have a backup plan is all. That “gracious celebratory event” because her mom and dad believe Cogswell Cogs asked Abraham to kill the son of Isaac was really just a reason for dumb bitches to drink fruity non real beers at a Greek restaurant at your expense. Don’t put a ring on it because she might not like the way your shoes smell one day and your life is fucking overrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I’m glad I don’t have to think about her every single day like I used to. On some level it’s fucked only because it felt like she owned me for so long, but she’ll divorce and marry and divorce again while I’m the sucker that gets to keep all my shit from a court order. Good luck with that house because you’ll need it.

His neighbor Tabitha tried feeding him the choo-choo train of brussel sprouts when he was a baby and he said “get that shit away from me, d-ddd-dumbass!”

He got some Peter Rabbit chocolate bunnies for half price at Dollar General because he’s the Easter Bunny.

How I felt when they tore down the Williams St mural to make way for more 2K a month Midtown apartments.

Missions of each title 1. Reuniting The Families/End of The Line (San Andreas) 2. Rub Out/Keep Your Friends Close (Vice City) 3. Blow Your Cover/Three Leaf Clover (GTA IV) 4. Revelation/Eternal Sunshine (Saints Row 2) 5. All The King’s Men (Saints Row 1) 6. Room Service (Mafia II) 7. Collector’s Item/Was it Worth it? (TLAD) 8. Chinese Takeout/Party’s Over (TBOGT) 9. Sayonara Salvatore/Uzi Rider (GTA III) 10. The Colonel’s Coke/Cash in Kazuki’s Chips/Grave Situation/Rat Race (Vice City Stories + Liberty City Stories + Chinatown Wars)

The intro not being 100% silhouette or abstract was a conscious effort. You can take the good and the bad with that. The Bebop crew didn’t have to stand all BadassTM with the title logo. This theme song tells me absolutely nothing about why I should give Grace Arlene’s cunt hairs about any of the characters... but Bebop’s intro was like that too. I’m just gonna have to watch the show if I ever get to it.

Wakes up his wife from bed and says “get the gummy bears out from the cabinet. NOWWWWWWWW!”

I was told some time recently I got a home back home and I’ve at least thought about it. The one thing in my shitty life that hasn’t changed was that I could always go back. That’s been on the table for over a decade, citizenship wouldn’t be an issue and I’d be looked after for however long until I could adapt. I’d want this site to be international (I got no fuckin clue on that) and it’d be a fortune probably to get a bunch of my shit transported over there. But all I do is complain about how useless it is here now. Some family says “no shit US is better” and some stay happily where the fuck they are and just live life without the supposed advantages.

Tells everyone to stay away from his mashed potatoes and gravy.

Other channels beat them to the punch 12 years ago. Is FOX under the impression that advertisers still care and that their whole “brand” and “reputation” isn’t just fucking Football, or Mark Levin for idiots? The most boring episode of modern Family Guy would still be MA or unairable even during early revival years.

Scratching your balls and even smelling your fingers afterwards is a suitable treat.