DragonSinger

I'm so glad my dad doesn't work at the airport anymore.

All this weak ginger ale. Y'all need to go drink some Vernors.

No, but a couple words are all I got in me to describe shitty people right now.

People suck.

I'm not much into celebrity gossip, but I REALLY want to know what that man's schlong looks like.

I feel like killing someone while they're getting cookies is on the same level as killing them on a toilet. Like, that's just being extra mean. Besides the murder part. I feel bad for whoever owned that cookie shop. Here you are bringing joy to the world, then someone comes along and literally kills the whole vibe. Now it's gonna be the Murder Cookie Shop forever.

I read a depressing ass reddit topic about people being weird about food allergies. It was an eyeopener that there are quite a few out there, even folks' own family members, who are deeply offended by food allergies to the point of purposefully slipping people the food they're allergic to in order to 'prove them wrong'. Cowboy Bebop anime fans need to dial it down a notch on social media because you guys are being very cringy right now. Cowboy Bebop Twitter feed - Non-anime watcher: This looks interesting. Anime stan: THEY CHANGED EVERYTHING! Non-anime watcher: I like it but the fight scenes could be better. Anime stan: WHY MAKE AN EXACT COPY? THIS IS WORTHLESS! I'M GOING TO K-MYSELF! Anime stan: I might...actually like this. Anime stan: *Posts pic of Cowboy Bebop set* I'm watching the anime and not Netflix!

Even if Budden was supposedly joking, he sounded really comfortable saying it. But that's okay, if he secretly meant it, a statement has already been put together: Why this booster shot gotta hurt my shoulder so much?

Jet-Puffed S'moagie S'mores sandwich: https://www.theimpulsivebuy.com/wordpress/2021/11/04/jet-puffed-smoagie-smores-sandwich-review/ So I guess it was a thing at a place called Alidoro for Sandwich Day.

Lee Pace out here trying to kill folks. No one that hot needs to be that tall too. I can't even pay attention when he's in stuff because I'm just like, 'GODDAMN!'

Do bi folks have to claim him?

It's so weird to see one of our stores trend because people are buying newspapers today.

The way Patreon processes payments is annoying.

But seriously though, why is that orange fucker still alive?

Fucking Astros can't even cheat when you need them to.

I'm sorry, but I might be pulling for the Astros tonight.

WHY IS HE STILL COMING HERE?!

Oh Ed Lover. I guess there are gonna be more familiar faces hanging around.

Traffic gonna be a biiiiiitch today.

My fault for not muting that bitch sooner. Is she even from Georgia like why the fuck is her tacky ass in our business? I wish she would go eat g****.

*Thinks about the price of those expensive ass tomatoes at Whole Foods that looked like they got into a boxing match*

Shut up, Scrappy, unless you're driving me 40 minutes to an H-Mart and paying for all my impulse buying. Wow, that really does look like a Hitler stache when Romney dresses as Ted Lasso.

Didn't stop those folks from ripping off the rest of the plastic in a daggone frenzy.

*Remembers the 800 thread count Egyptian bed sheets incident on Black Friday where a Walmart worker stood by waiting for the sale time, slit the plastic covering it with box cutters when the sale started and then ran the fuck away while the pallet got swarmed by customers* Me watching at the side with a can of cranberry sauce and a DVD set of Supernatural: 😨It's just bed sheets!

My readers are so nice 😭.