Killa Ounze Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 but I appreciate the recent almost 0 responses to my posts in your threads and almost no responses to any of my threads. I love you all too <3 :'( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarPanda Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 Free For All is jerks bro :'( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Killa Ounze Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 Apparently I'm the jerk. Like Steve Smith I've been walking around my whole life wondering who the jerk is, and then bam! I'm the jerk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naraku4656 Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 who are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still Me Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 butthurt? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Killa Ounze Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 A jerk from the feels of it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Killa Ounze Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 butthurt? Honestly yes, I've long considered most of you my friends. I'm not always around, but enough of you seem to have like me decent enough. I like, reply, and try to bring some cheer to ya'lls day sometimes when you need it, sometimes you probably don't but I do care. It doesn't help my life has had been bad enough I tried suicide numerous times, sometimes intentionally over doing partying really just not caring if i wake up(go out on a good note), to more committed routes, most people don't know, I don't usually ever speak on it, I didn't die, move on. I try to look on the bright side, but honestly lifes shit. The life of an artist is if even more shit unless you make it. I've far from made it, and I'm getting past the use by date, but it's all that I am. If I can't be an artist, I'm as good as dead. I need to entertain, I need to create, it sounds dumb I know, but it consumes, then I have to hold down a job on the side with severe anxiety and depression to the point I thought I was literally dying for a couple years, turns out I'm just fucked inside and it's getting worse so I'm sick often. At any rate, I have had a hard life, and I still all that I can to do some kind of good for others, and then I've lost a ton of friendships some because I'm a dreamer, some because they got families and just don't have time, some I've just out grown, and I still have some but I dunno, not any REAL friends, as in people that give a fuck I've been walking a tight rope for the last ten years because they are busy with their own shit, or bastards. So yes, when I come up to see my friends that I still enjoy, and no-one seems to like me anymore or want to talk to me it hurts the feels. Online or IRL. I am human. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God-Says-No Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 who are you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Killa Ounze Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 God still says yes, I don't care what the topic is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
molarbear Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 I think that's just the current state of the boards. It doesn't seem like a lot of people made the 2nd pilgrimage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Distortedreasoning Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 dont take it too personal. the boards here are just slow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Killa Ounze Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 I think that's just the current state of the boards. It doesn't seem like a lot of people made the 2nd pilgrimage. Thanks, I'm starting to think it was some kind of manic attack, I'm not feeling much better but wasn't trying to be a jerk or like wah me. One of the few times I apparently didn't have coherentness to keep my composer about things, and it's just kind of triggered crap. Again thanks I try to keep my cool and never show the chinks in the armor, but they are there, and I've been struggling recently. It's dumb but it is what it is, and I appreciate anyone and everyone that at least decided to respond, even if they are being cocky. Naraku can not have no idea who I am after all ;D There was never any animosity behind this post, my butt was just hurting because even people that I seemed to be alright with before that are on here now, and half of them don't even respond, but maybe you're right. Like I said, I have problems, just most the time at this point I can shrug them off, I am just in a weird place today I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Killa Ounze Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 dont take it too personal. the boards here are just slow. Thanks man ;D I lost my cool for a second, and I wanted to modify forever ago and just erase my whining, but it's me I can't erase it from my life, and I guess this just triggered some anxiety which triggered this recent severe depression spout I'm in. I should be above it, but I feel just grim. Like I said above, never any animosity, but yeah feeling just crappy about myself I guess. Wasn't trying to be like wah me, I was just like what did I do wrong? Like I've annoyed or offended everyone, or even worse I just suck lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Distortedreasoning Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 i think we all lose our cool from time to time so no biggie. im still sticking around trying to do what i can as well but its almost a ghost town here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 wat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 also yeah, while it seems like we still get a few new users a week, the boards won't pick up for probably several months. At least, we won't be sharing the url/board location/link beyond just word of mouth for awhile yet. first I want to get the theme set and most of the glitchy stuff hammered out, which is going to take me awhile because i dono what i am doing. so - basically it's just us for awhile here probably. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misaka Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 I lurk alot so don't blame me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blink89 Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 most of my posts have been in like maybe 10 threads.... This is number 11 you should feel special Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BloodHawk1991 Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 D: I Barely post anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azalar Hex Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 I've been on this mental crash myself a couple of times before. Hanging out for years and only managing to be background noise. I've popped on the AS boards a couple of times and made much worse threads. Just had to eventually accept the AS group is about as good as it's gonna get. Nobody's told me to post a suicide video yet. A couple of folks have told me I'm pathetic, but online that's about as tame as you can get. These guys are like the psych ward of the internet. Your day is a success if you made it through without having somebody jab a plastic spork into your eye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAC Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 who are you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still Me Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 yeah you kinda take this shit too personally....I don't think I would call anyone here a "friend" just a casual acquaintance...few of which I have lady wood for but that's about as far as it goes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hidden Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 hey now. i respond to what i can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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