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UnevenEdge

If you were my parent(s) what would you do for me?


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Posted

I would have exposed you on a hillside at birth. Welcome to Sparta, where the weak are not allowed to live.

 

 

I'm guessing that would have made me a lot tougher from infancy, but I grew into a lone wolf alpha male warrior beastly legend anyway, so I don't think I really needed the whole "toughing out the elements on a hillside" episode.

Posted

I'd put a password-protected block of OKC (and every dating site/app I could find) on all your devices and across every browser.

 

And I wouldn't be able to tell you the password(s) even if I wanted to because I'd set it to be whatever slapping the keyboard randomly came out to.

 

 

Posted

I mean what kinda parenting would ya give me?

You wouldn't exist, because condoms would have been used. The world would be brighter, everyone would live in peace and harmony, no starvation, no global warming, etc.

Every fucking thing wrong with the world is because of you. Damn you, and stuff.  >:(

 

:P

Posted

 

I'm guessing that would have made me a lot tougher from infancy, but I grew into a lone wolf alpha male warrior beastly legend anyway, so I don't think I really needed the whole "toughing out the elements on a hillside" episode.

 

You're missing the point, which is that you would have been eaten by wolves, and would not have lived to grow up to be your current miserable self.

Posted

I'd put a password-protected block of OKC (and every dating site/app I could find) on all your devices and across every browser.

 

And I wouldn't be able to tell you the password(s) even if I wanted to because I'd set it to be whatever slapping the keyboard randomly came out to.

 

 

Well that's pretty gay.

 

I want parents who want me to not be a virgin. You realize that being a virgin isn't cool right?

Posted

You wouldn't exist, because condoms would have been used. The world would be brighter, everyone would live in peace and harmony, no starvation, no global warming, etc.

Every fucking thing wrong with the world is because of you. Damn you, and stuff.  >:(

 

:P

 

 

Be a doer, not a dreamer.  ::)

Posted

You're missing the point, which is that you would have been eaten by wolves, and would not have lived to grow up to be your current miserable self.

 

I would have won.  :beer:

Posted

 

Well that's pretty gay.

 

I want parents who want me to not be a virgin. You realize that being a virgin isn't cool right?

It's not for you. It's for them.

 

It's not like you've gotten laid through dating sites, anyway.

Posted

 

Be a doer, not a dreamer.  ::)

Says the guy who has never had sex with another person (hands and stuffed animals don't count, sugar tits), and who has never had a girlfriend.

And yet (and this is the cherry on top of the shit sundae), you make thread after thread after thread about getting girlfriends on OK Cupid and having sex with them.

If anyone's a dreamer, it is definitely you.

You creepy little bastard.

:fap:

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