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And I quote


Vela

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from a letter written to The Economist mid 1800's. (with a mid-atlantic i.e. british-american accent).

 

"In Year 1 that useless letter c would be dropped to be replased either by k or s, and likewise x would no longer be part of the alphabet. 

The only kase in which c would be retained would be the ch formation, which will be dealt with later. 

     Year 2 might reform w spelling, so that which and one would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish y, replasing it with i, and Iear 4 might fiks the g/j anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6 to 12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.

     Bai Lear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez c, y, and x - bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez --tu riplais ch, sh, and th ridpektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt se Ingliy-spiking werld."   

 

~ Mark Twain.  A plan for the improvement of the English language.

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59 minutes ago, Vela said:

from a letter written to The Economist mid 1800's. (with a mid-atlantic i.e. british-american accent).

 

"In Year 1 that useless letter c would be dropped to be replased either by k or s, and likewise x would no longer be part of the alphabet. 

The only kase in which c would be retained would be the ch formation, which will be dealt with later. 

     Year 2 might reform w spelling, so that which and one would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish y, replasing it with i, and Iear 4 might fiks the g/j anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6 to 12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.

     Bai Lear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez c, y, and x - bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez --tu riplais ch, sh, and th ridpektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt se Ingliy-spiking werld."   

 

~ Mark Twain.  A plan for the improvement of the English language.

This is why he should've stuck with writing novels and short stories.

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37 minutes ago, Vela said:

Hah, thankfully this was one of his satirical pieces.

It makes sense. I must've missed that one. We had a collection of short stories he wrote when I was a kid. I don't remember reading that one in the collection.

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21 minutes ago, hornedlizardman said:

It makes sense. I must've missed that one. We had a collection of short stories he wrote when I was a kid. I don't remember reading that one in the collection.

Yeah.  This wouldn't have been in something like "Complete Works of," as it was a random entry in a journal magazine at the time.

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1 minute ago, The_annoying_one said:

English is a funny language, anyway.

Too many words mean the same damn thing.

Um, some of those words are called synonyms, sir. Words that look or either sound the same are homonyms. There are two types: Homographs, which have the same spelling regardless of pronunciation, and homophones, which have the same pronunciation regardless of spelling.

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1 minute ago, hornedlizardman said:

Um, some of those words are called synonyms, sir. Words that look or either sound the same are homonyms. There are two types: Homographs, which have the same spelling regardless of pronunciation, and homophones, which have the same pronunciation regardless of spelling.

Still I agree with him 😄

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7 minutes ago, hornedlizardman said:

Um, some of those words are called synonyms, sir. Words that look or either sound the same are homonyms. There are two types: Homographs, which have the same spelling regardless of pronunciation, and homophones, which have the same pronunciation regardless of spelling.

Be that as it may or may not be that, my original point still stands.

Good day, sir!

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7 hours ago, Insipid said:

Mid-Atlantic accent wasn't a thing yet in the mid 1800s. It was an affected speech pattern that coincided with the rise of radio and fell out of fashion after WW2.

(Had to be that person)

 

If it weren't for people like you we'd be rampant with misinformation!  Also, when I think about it...if it really was written by Mark Twain wouldn't it have been more of a southern accent? 

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2 minutes ago, Vela said:

If it weren't for people like you we'd be rampant with misinformation!  Also, when I think about it...if it really was written by Mark Twain wouldn't it have been more of a southern accent? 

Samuel Langhorn Clemens, aka Mark Twain, was from Missouri. Which if you think about it, can be considered both the South and the Midwest. I guess it depends on the region in which you place the state.

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8 minutes ago, hornedlizardman said:

Samuel Langhorn Clemens, aka Mark Twain, was from Missouri. Which if you think about it, can be considered both the South and the Midwest. I guess it depends on the region in which you place the state.

We'll never know I guess...and that doesn't bother me at all...not at all...nope...

...damn it.

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1 hour ago, hornedlizardman said:

There's not a whole lot to tell. I wrote it and I passed.

Wait, actually...I think I know this one.  

...

..

.

nope...it's not there anymore...but something to do with steamboats?  Micky Mouse?  ... ... I think I'm tired again.

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Just now, Vela said:

Wait, actually...I think I know this one.  

...

..

.

nope...it's not there anymore...but something to do with steamboats?  Micky Mouse?  ... ... I think I'm tired again.

Yes. They would mark the water level relative to the steamboat by saying either quarter twain, half twain, or mark twain. The water line is at the optimal level when they would call out mark twain. He was, if I remember correctly, on a steamboat on the Mississippi river near his native Hannibal, Missouri, and heard this and decided that it would be a good pseudonym.

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2 minutes ago, hornedlizardman said:

Yes. They would mark the water level relative to the steamboat by saying either quarter twain, half twain, or mark twain. The water line is at the optimal level when they would call out mark twain. He was, if I remember correctly, on a steamboat on the Mississippi river near his native Hannibal, Missouri, and heard this and decided that it would be a good pseudonym.

THANK you.

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