Lasty Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 story for bedtime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 There was once this cool guy named Odin. He lost his eye but he has some birds and wolves and shit. The end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lasty Posted October 6, 2019 Author Share Posted October 6, 2019 3 minutes ago, InsaneFox said: There was once this cool guy named Odin. He lost his eye but he has some birds and wolves and shit. The end. I thought an Odin was a message board moderator or the name of a dog belonging to a dude I don't care for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katt_goddess Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 Loki was such a perfectionist that when he transformed into a mare, he got pregnant by a stallion. And then gave birth to an 8-legged horse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 6 minutes ago, Lasty said: I thought an Odin was a message board moderator or the name of a dog belonging to a dude I don't care for. Same character. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lasty Posted October 6, 2019 Author Share Posted October 6, 2019 8 minutes ago, InsaneFox said: Same character. Naah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 1 minute ago, Lasty said: Naah He can be, I'll go find my trusty eye poker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 Never really got into Norse mythology >.> Greek or Egyptian I can help with 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lasty Posted October 6, 2019 Author Share Posted October 6, 2019 58 minutes ago, Vamped said: Never really got into Norse mythology >.> Greek or Egyptian I can help with Close enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 13 minutes ago, Lasty said: Close enough. So a long long time ago Zeus was cruising for pussy per usual and came upon one of Hera's priestesses Io. Against better judgement he was like .... bang one of my wife's priestesses? Fuck yeah. So he changed into a cloud and fucked around but then Hera was like .... I THINK NOT so to throw Hera off of his fuckery, he transformed the girl into a cow and was like .... yo Ive never met this cow before in my life no lie. So Hera, knowing he's lying is like .... oh yeah? Well this is a great lookin' cow. I want it. So Zeus guilty as shit is like.... oh sure you can have it. So Hera takes the cow and has Argus, who has an assload of eyes all over his body, watch it to make sure she doesnt poof back into a bitch at any second. So Zeus is like.... yo Hermes go steal my side chick back from my wife. So of course Hermes does what he's told... I mean who says no to Zeus. So Hermes works some hodoo music magic shit and puts Argus to sleep .... erhmmm ... then y'know murders him in his sleep for following orders and sets Io free. So Hera is like .... godfuckingdammit!!! >.> but what can she do to Zeus? So she puts all of Argus' eyes on her favorite bird the peacock or some shit. Great reward for being MURDERED IN HIS SLEEP but whateves right? I think Io just kinda roams around for a little bit as a cow and then eventually meets back up with Zeus who changes her back into a woman ... eventually Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The_Remaind3r Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 (edited) 2 hours ago, Lasty said: story for bedtime This is the story of a time long ago – a time of myth and legend. When the ancient gods were petty and cruel, and they plagued mankind with suffering, only one man dared to challenge their power – Hercules. Hercules possessed a strength the world had never seen – a strength surpassed only by the power of his heart. He journeyed the Earth – battling the minions of his wicked stepmother, Hera, the all-powerful queen of the gods. But wherever there was evil, wherever an innocent would suffer, there would be Hercules. Edited October 6, 2019 by The_Remaind3r Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neko Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 (edited) Helen was a cool chick. Very cool. She was queen over the dead. She watched as they came in but never really left, well not really on her watch. She wasn't bad looking either, on one side, that other side however...she was mixed y'all. And kinda pissy about her job...she was however if anything a stickler for work. Edited October 6, 2019 by Neko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lasty Posted October 6, 2019 Author Share Posted October 6, 2019 1 hour ago, Vamped said: So a long long time ago Zeus was cruising for pussy per usual and came upon one of Hera's priestesses Io. Against better judgement he was like .... bang one of my wife's priestesses? Fuck yeah. So he changed into a cloud and fucked around but then Hera was like .... I THINK NOT so to throw Hera off of his fuckery, he transformed the girl into a cow and was like .... yo Ive never met this cow before in my life no lie. So Hera, knowing he's lying is like .... oh yeah? Well this is a great lookin' cow. I want it. So Zeus guilty as shit is like.... oh sure you can have it. So Hera takes the cow and has Argus, who has an assload of eyes all over his body, watch it to make sure she doesnt poof back into a bitch at any second. So Zeus is like.... yo Hermes go steal my side chick back from my wife. So of course Hermes does what he's told... I mean who says no to Zeus. So Hermes works some hodoo music magic shit and puts Argus to sleep .... erhmmm ... then y'know murders him in his sleep for following orders and sets Io free. So Hera is like .... godfuckingdammit!!! >.> but what can she do to Zeus? So she puts all of Argus' eyes on her favorite bird the peacock or some shit. Great reward for being MURDERED IN HIS SLEEP but whateves right? I think Io just kinda roams around for a little bit as a cow and then eventually meets back up with Zeus who changes her back into a woman ... eventually That is underwhelming. Zeus is a bad person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nameraka Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 somehow loki had a son who was a wolf that's going to end the world some day. the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rpgamer Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 (edited) I got this. Edited October 6, 2019 by rpgamer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nameraka Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 4 minutes ago, rpgamer said: I got this. seen and raised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rpgamer Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 Weirdly, Heilung doesn't really do it for me so much. Maybe they're a bit too elaborate or something. Idk. Seems like something that would hit all the right buttons. But their sound lacks a certain flow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tsar4 Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 20 hours ago, Lasty said: story for bedtime Once upon a time, the Vikings won the Superbowl.. ...NOT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seight Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 This is the story of a metal band that somehow won the same music competition as Celine Dion once. (seriously, look it up) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gina Szanboti Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 Loki takes it just a little too far... HIDE YOUR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS SET FIRE TO YOUR VALUABLES LOKI IS COMING AND HE IS SWINGIN’ DICK SERIOUSLY SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL THIS IS A MYTH THAT IS LESS A MYTH AND MORE A RAP BATTLE BETWEEN LOKI AND EVERYONE Go read it yourself, it's too long to post, but it's hilarious. Also too, see the term "flyting." Also, too, plus, many more Norse myths on that site, given similar treatment. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lasty Posted October 7, 2019 Author Share Posted October 7, 2019 43 minutes ago, Gina Szanboti said: Loki takes it just a little too far... HIDE YOUR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS SET FIRE TO YOUR VALUABLES LOKI IS COMING AND HE IS SWINGIN’ DICK SERIOUSLY SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL THIS IS A MYTH THAT IS LESS A MYTH AND MORE A RAP BATTLE BETWEEN LOKI AND EVERYONE Go read it yourself, it's too long to post, but it's hilarious. Also too, see the term "flyting." Also, too, plus, many more Norse myths on that site, given similar treatment. So, wait, if someone could exonerate this Loki guy, we wouldn't have earthquakes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gina Szanboti Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 Well, like Agent Orange, when you admit to the crime on tv and/or in front of a room full of witnesses, it's kind of hard to be exonerated. I just really love that telling of it, since none of it is much exaggerated - read the Lokasenna (from the Poetic Edda, not the Prose Edda by Snorri Sturluson who had the best name evah). That's what the poem says happened. Norse mythology is great. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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