Trunks Thread 19.1: A New New Frontier

PokeNirvash · January 8, 2022

With these three episodes, Naruto Shippuden not only matches, but surpasses Bleach as the longest-running program on [adult swim] in terms of episodes broadcast.

12:00 - Blade Runner: Black Lotus #9 - Free Will - TV-14LV
12:30 - Assassination Classroom #23 - Summer Festival Time - TV-14L
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #24 - Kaede Time - TV-14DS
1:30 - Naruto Shippuden #366 - The All-Knowing - TV-PG
2:00 - Naruto Shippuden #367 - Hashirama and Madara - TV-14
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #368 - The Era of Warring States - TV-PG
3:00 - Cowboy Bebop #7 - Heavy Metal Queens - TV-MALS
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #8 - Waltz for Venus - TV-14LSV

Choke on that, Seth MacFarlane.

EmpressAngel · January 8, 2022

10 hours ago, PokeNirvash said:

1:30 - Naruto Shippuden #366 - The All-Knowing - TV-PG
2:00 - Naruto Shippuden #367 - Hashirama and Madara - TV-14
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #368 - The Era of Warring States - TV-PG

Brb gotta go confiscate every sharp object TG owns.

EmpressAngel · January 9, 2022

Blade Runner- Yes you have a reason to be concerned. This guy definitely planned for Elle to kill his dad. Nice bike. Big deal he's a blade runner, we've all done shit we're not proud of. Should I remember who this douchebag drinking wine in his car is? Oh yeah I'm sure all these guards are really gonna help here. These guards kinda suck. I don't think he's gonna be any safer inside. I hope you like climbing. GUN. It doesn't count as you killing someone if you get your friend to do it for you. Hoot hoot motherfucker. Get in loser we're going blade running. Aim for his dick! "Skinjob" is still the worst fucking word. Great idea, consolidate yourselves so she can just tear through you all at once. Huh, she's got his handprint. This is gonna go just great I'm sure. He did it because he's a huge douchebag and you can go ahead and kill him. Elle you're a super robot how are you locked in a stalemate with an elderly man. That went better than I expected. Oh right, the cops. Window, ahoy! Nice bike. Y'all fuckin yet or what?

Ass Class- I have no memory of what happened last episode. Oh right, Koro was all fucked up. Do you really love your students if you don't play wingman for them? I'm still rooting for Squid-sensei to destroy the planet. He's right, nothing brings people together like terror. Koro no that's weird. Oh right, Nagisa's balls dropped. TWISTER! Why aren't you kids making out in front of your weird teacher. Nobody calls you that, girl. Sensei broke. I missed you, bitch sensei. On god sis, we are gonna get you laid. What's wrong with her wardrobe? You're right, she looks great in that. Random titan. This is a real weird assignment, kids. Awww she looks pretty. The shawl was the only thing that could cover her giant boobs. Kids you're ruining the mood. Well this got depressing. JUST FUCK ALREADY. He has a dad? Teacher stole your sushi. He even invited the super assassin. Feel free to pop by and kill me any time! Whelp, he's dead. Haa, they're too good at shooting. Karma's gonna kill that guy. Too much goldfish! I love you, bitch sensei. Now there's some encouragement to work together.

EGGS. Offer him some eggs in this trying time. You had me at pudding. Death by pudding is also how I'd choose to go out. You're gonna need a lot of cornstarch. That's actually a really great idea. I'm rooting for this plan. The government shelled out all the money for those eggs. Eww get your nasty shoes off the pudding! Pudding regret is a concept I'm familiar with. You ate dirt? You didn't kill him AND now you have more homework, this sucks. "I got all kinds of jiggly weapons!" Oh that's creepy. PARKOUR. That fucking accent is cracking me up. And then he caught all of you. I forgot I hate that vocaloid girl. She's so thirsty I love her. Bribery works. They distracted him with titties it's not his fault. This is hilarious. Aw hell what's this. He's definitely a perv. I'm sorry what was that last one? Oh that ain't right. This got reeeeeal uncomfortable. Who the hell is framing him? That kid still looks like he's 40. Titties ahoy. Caught him! Who's that? IT'S A TRAP. Oh hey it's the one kid.

Edited January 9, 2022 by EmpressAngel

PokeNirvash · January 15, 2022

Did Turner look too hard on this one, or was I just not looking hard enough? Into the Abyss, that is.

12:00 - Blade Runner: Black Lotus #10 - Clair de Lune - TV-14LV
12:30 - Assassination Classroom #25 - Itona Horibe Time - TV-14L
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #26 - Spinning Time - TV-14L
1:30 - Made in Abyss #1 - The City of the Great Pit - TV-MA (Poke's original rating: TV-PGDV)
2:00 - Naruto Shippuden #369 - My True Dream - TV-PG
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #370 - Sasuke's Answer - TV-PG
3:00 - Cowboy Bebop #9 - Jamming with Edward - TV-PG
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #10 - Ganymede Elegy - TV-PGLV

EmpressAngel · January 16, 2022

Goddamn I forgot how much Made in Abyss's music slaps.

Blade Runner- My memory is shit I'd take that robot mind. Oh hey, backstory. She's pretty. Oh no she's a robot and he's gonna kill her. You don't drink, we can't trust you. This is gonna suck for him but go ahead and fuck that robot. Oh hey, is that the one other guy? "Skinjob" is still the worst fucking word I've ever heard. Booo, he never got to fuck the robot. This episode mostly feels like an excuse for someone to write some pretty songs. If every computer I've ever had was able to shut down for mandatory updates, why can't the futuristic robots just have some kind of simple shut down timer instead of having to manually track them down and shoot them? Oh right, her boyfriend. Alright, we're looking for some cryptic weirdo who does tattoos. Oh hey, that guy. Back in the weird mind chair. Sorry honey your boyfriend's a fucking creep. Seen here, setting up his newest sexbot.

Ass Class- Please don't kill my favorite teacher. That's just unfair never use a man's fetishes against him. Oh right, I forgot they're kinda brothers. I goddamn love this squid. Sorry kiddo you tried. Tentacle brother has joined the class. Oh no, he's dying now. Uhh this kid might need some help. You could probably stab him right now but could you really live with yourself? Oh, that sucks for him. What'd the phones do to you? I didn't think I'd want to hug this kid but yet here we are. You can go ahead and kill the 40-year old middle schooler. GODDAMMIT NOT AGAIN. Ohhhhh he's pissed. Oh fuck you, evil Tatum. SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER. Eat shit, this is our boy now. Oh no my boy. Well that's depressing. Aww they're taking care of him. Just watch the version where the Count is a sexy blue space vampire. Our boy broke. Thanks for the pep talk, dumbass. I can root for this boy now.

I also immediately blow my check on food when I get paid. BOMB. I like him constantly shitting on that old kid. Good job you invented Sheer Heart Attack. Oh no don't break your poor teacher's heart. I have no memory of half these kids. Boys no. "Smut, killing, making stuff" is basically my personality. WEASEL! You'lll need to implement anti-rodent countermeasures. Beat the shit out of that boy. They're right, boys are terrible. Sorry kid your parents are bastards. This girl is creepy as shit and I kinda love her. Are the teachers banging yet? Oh no these code names are awful. I can't decide which one is the funniest but Nagisa just being Gender is up there. Okay Dating Sim Emo Character is my favorite. Nobody's gonna call you that, sensei. This is clearly going too well. Oh, these douchebags.

Abyss- Oh this is gonna hurt me. I've only known Riko for 20 seconds but if anything happened to hear I'd kill everyone and then myself. I don't trust this abyss shit. You're disturbing the weasels! Oh fuck that's a big creepy thing. MY BAG. Whelp your friend's dead. Please don't eat my daughter. Thanks, weird convenient laser. Oooh, pretty necklace. Oh cool, an adorable robot boy. Oh good, her friend's alive. I need to pet that giant bunny mount immediately. This kid's real chill about his friends just bringing in a robot boy. Found this show's version of Phil. The wall desks are cool. I love this child already. Don't tell him about your new robot friend! That'll fucking do it. Oh my god I love them. Of course he has amnesia. Nothing to see here, just a suspicious helmet wired up to the electrical grid. GO GO GADGET ARMS! Good job kiddo you found your dong. Cool, he's baby Spiderman. Wow, what a hole. Ohhhh that looks ominous as FUCK.

PokeNirvash · January 22, 2022

Been a while since I've used this color for anything.

12:00 - Blade Runner: Black Lotus #11 - All the Best Memories - TV-14V
12:30 - Assassination Classroom #27 - Leader Time - TV-14LV
1:00 - Made in Abyss #2 - Resurrection Festival - TV-MA (Poke's original rating: TV-14)
1:30 - One Piece #517 - The Beginning of the New Chapter! The Straw Hats Reunited! - TV-PGL
2:00 - One Piece #518 - An Explosive Situation! Luffy vs. Fake Luffy! - TV-PG
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #371 - Hole - TV-PG
3:00 - Naruto Shippuden #372 - Something to Fill the Hole - TV-PG
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #11 - Toys in the Attic - TV-14L

Edited February 5, 2022 by PokeNirvash

EmpressAngel · January 23, 2022

YO HO HO HE TOOK A BITE OF GUM GUM

Blade Runner- Envision these nuts, nerd. This man just looks like he's dying to explain NFTs to me and I want to fight him. I'd like to rewrite my memories of watching Black Clover, if that option's available. My stream kept freezing for half the episode but I honestly don't think I missed much. So are these two gonna fuck by the end of this? Wait, this is a future where phone booths still exist? That man makes me viscerally uncomfortable for reasons I can't describe. Oh hey, the one shitty cop in town. Is she even allowed to arrest her or is she still suspended? Meanwhile, the new sexbot is here to kill you. Whelp, he's dead. What a surprise, they didn't kill off the main character with 2-3 episodes left in the show. I feel like I'd be enjoying this more if the show had been able to give me any emotional connection at all for Elle anything else here.

Ass Class- I don't like those women. Haa, all the girls like him. Forbidden love! NOT Prince Charming! That does look like good French toast. Goddammit it's the rich kids. Ahahahaha you dumb rich bastard. That middle-aged kid is never right. BEAT THEIR SHIT, KIDS. I love this squid so much. Oh you fucking assholes. Of course the foreign students are Americans. It's okay kids try your best. EAT SHIT, AMERICANS. Just let Karma stab them all. Grab his dick and twist it! New plan, chaos. Fuck you, rich boy! So what if he knows martial arts, the entire damn class knows martial arts! Physics, bitch! Correction, not physics, bitch! New boy to the rescue. YEET. FUCK YEAH! You were owned, as the kids say. Shut up, Kevin! I love my kids. Meanwhile, those dudes got clapped. Oh my god you pretentious sack of shit. Fuck yeah, leftovers!

Abyss- I love this child so much. Oh, so it's like reverse scuba diving. Well, that's horrifying. Riko no. Penis. Oh no we gotta hide our little robot buddy. Please don't dissect my robot son. He's in! Aww that's cute. Hi, pretty lady. ARMS. Oh, so the colored whistles mean different things. Hagrid's returned. "Lyza the Annihilator" is a badass name. Oh shit is her mom dead? Hell yeah, puppet show! The nose on that guy. Sorry about your mom, kiddo. Please hug this child. Dude her mom just died, give her a break. Your mom sounds cool as hell. My eyes are broke as shit. Oh dang she was born down there? Awww she gave up all of it to save Riko. Awww my kids are holding hands. Oh SHIT she found Reg down there. Booooooooo we don't get the full ED. Okay when do we get this adorable bunny friend?

One Piece- Previously on One Piece, my boyfriend fucking died. Snake bow. HANCOCK IS MY WIFE. It's fine, I'll marry you instead. I have the dumbest grin watching this OP. I miss Shanks. Bubbles. Rayleigh is hot. Zoro's the first to get there. Hellooooo Nami. Info dump, go. I'm disappointed that they didn't just call in the 4kids voices to do it. I'm glad Brook became a huge star over the timeskip. FUCK YEAH, BROOK SONG. Sanji, getting a boner. He spent two years on an island full of drag queens and this is the point where I have to point out things were much different 10+ years ago. They voice actors are all doing each other's voices. I wonder if she's insulted by her fake version. Usopp! Boobs. Usopp's having a great day. I miss Sniper King. LIGHTNING, BITCH. There goes that entire bar. Hi, Robin's boobs! Franky what the hell did you do to yourself. Chopper looking even more adorable. I do not like Fake Luffy. Meanwhile, actual Luffy.

God I wish Brook got to sing more. I love Hancock so much. I'm pretty sure he ditched everything except the food. Where do I apply to join the Lesbian Snake Pirates? Hancock reacting exactly how I react to my unattainable boyfriends. Go ahead and shoot him, see what happens. This guy is loyal to Sanji because he originally looked exactly like Sanji's botched wanted poster until he kicked him so hard in the face his appearance changed. Sanji no. Oh god, fat Zoro. Robin's looking rough. Fox Chopper. I always love Chopper's walking sound effect it's so cute. Oh yeah fighting this guy in the hood is gonna go juuuust great. Seitz sounds goddamn unrecognizable as fake Sniper King. He's made of rubber! Uhh Luffy what'd you just do? You can tell this Franky is fake because he's wearing pants. Someone please go get Chopper. Fake Robin's Texas accent. I'm uncomfortable with Fake Robin. I presume those government agents are going to kill her offscreen and I'm okay with that. Sanji please control your dick. Oh great who's terrified the fish guy. Goddammit Zoro! Zoro the hell did you do to your eye? Whelp, Zoro's gone forever. Sanji's not lucky enough for Zoro to get killed offscreen. Damn dude you leveled up. Goddammit Zoro.

PokeNirvash · January 23, 2022

14 hours ago, EmpressAngel said:

HANCOCK IS MY WIFE. I love Hancock so much.

Of all the callbacks to everything that was skipped since OP was last on Toonami, the Amazon Lily stuff is by far the most awkward. Mostly because I was hoping to waifu Hancock myself once Toonami got to her episodes.

Oh well, at least I still have Midnight.

PokeNirvash · January 29, 2022

So much for that "series premiere every week" promise, eh?

12:00 - Blade Runner: Black Lotus #12 - Artificial Souls - TV-14LV
12:30 - Assassination Classroom #28 - Before & After Time - TV-14
1:00 - Made in Abyss #3 - Departure - TV-MA (Poke's original rating: TV-PG)
1:30 - One Piece #519 - The Navy Has Set Out! The Straw Hats in Danger! - TV-PGL
2:00 - One Piece #520 - Big Guns Assembled! The Danger of the Fake Straw Hats! - TV-PG
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #373 - Team 7 Assemble! - TV-PG
3:00 - Naruto Shippuden #374 - The New Three-Way Deadlock - TV-PG
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #12 - Jupiter Jazz, Part 1 - TV-MA

Edited February 5, 2022 by PokeNirvash

EmpressAngel · January 30, 2022

Eh, we'll get it when we get it.

Blade Runner- I hate this albino robot girl already. Why'd they give her this accent? Don't get in the way here, only decent cop in town. Don't trust the chief you idiot! Wow, what a shock. This would be way more impactful if any character in this show had managed to make any sort of impression beyond just vaguely existing. I take it back, I feel disgust towards this weird incel nerd and I want to fight him. Are these two gonna fuck or what. Oh good, he's hallucinating his old dead robot girlfriend. Dude's just got a fetish for robots, don't kinkshame him. Sure go ahead and shoot each other, see if I care. My dude that elevator is a giant cage with dozens of gun-size holes. I'm guessing Elle's gonna run in just in time to watch him get shot and die, because this shit can be someone else's fault for a change. Speak for yourself ya douche, I'm ruled almost entirely by anger and thirst. Oh hey, he killed the douche. I feel nothing, show. Oh hey, he isn't dead yet.

Ass Ckass- Eat shit, rich kids! Parkour. And then they accidentally killed a man. Ohhhh that's one angry octopus. Dude no that sounds like a punishment. You could get Bitch Sensei to seduce him into staying quiet. You're not helping, sensei! Oh no, tiny sad orphans. These were fun episodes in MHA. Little kid you're out of your league here. New plan, study home repair! What. I do not like this child. Oh no, kitty. That's where our strength comes from, and also the weird squid monster that's training us to murder him. Remember when those kids called Todoroki Five Weenie Man? Oh hey, the building doesn't look like dilapidated shit anymore. Hope it was worth it because they're all gonna fail their exams. I still don't like this child. That went just about as bad as expected. Oh hey Karma. I still vote you just let Karma knife them all. The kids are here for your kebabs. Oooh do I see some tragic backstory on the horizon?

Abyss- Surely this will go well. Oh, just going to the bottom of the abyss, no big deal. Well all of that looks horrifying. A hollow, you say? I love my robot son. Nice, you found a stress ball. It's fine, just a creepy praying skeleton. The birthday what now? Oh that's ominous. I think Nat has some issues. What you are is a good boy and that's all you need to know. Oh shit we're leaving early. Reg is best boy. It's fine, just use the Inspector Gadget arms the whole way down it'll work out. Ohhhhhh this seems ominous as FUCK. It's actually way more terrifying if her mom's not the one who wrote that. Great now look what you've done, Precious Moments is crying. Kids just make up and get in that last hug because you're about to go spelunking down the massive Death Hole of No Return. Aw shit the little one's got that deadly birthday disease. Shit, you're caught! Yeah, violent shitting sounds about right. Aww, I'm glad they made up. Into the hole, children! Whatcha got there, Reg? I'm already crying! That random guy just screaming "SHUT UP" at them cracked me up. There they go.

One Piece- Robin and Franky are married and you'll never convince me otherwise. I'm happy for Brook. I love it when Ian gets to sing. Meanwhile, fake crew got wrecked. Chopper honey no. Fake Robin is gone and nothing of value was lost. HOW DARE YOU HIT MY REINDEER. He's not a pet! Aw shit it's Fat Soi Fon and the terminators. Meanwhile, douchebags. God I love Nami. I love these idiots. I could also go for some of that. Goddammit Sanji. Zoro no! Chopper is doing his best. Oh thank god the real ones found him. Awwwwwwwwww. Oh my god Chopper honey. Mustache Luffy. Goddammit Luffy not you too! How did Zoro even find his way there? Boys just whip your dicks out already and grab the measuring tape. I immediately hate Caribou and want him to die.

PLAY FREEBIRD. Brook you're making your staff uncomfortable. I fucking hate this guy and his stupid extra long sleeves. Whelp, so much for that guy. I can't wait to see Fake Luffy get his face punched in. Goddammit actual Luffy, put those braincells to work! Please tell me we get a whole Brook song. Huh, I always kinda wondered if Brook's old bounty was still open. The manager betrayed us? Oh yeah shoot the skeleton, that'll work great. Heeee look at them fanboy Franky. Calm down Chopper. Sweet, he's got mini hands. I'm unreasonably amused by the instant hair change. This is cute. If Rayleigh and Shakki are looking for a young sister-wife I'm available any time. Fuck off losers, we're here for a concert. FUCK YEAH, BROOK SONG. Ian sounds like he's having so much fun. The skeleton is Dandy, baby.

PokeNirvash · February 5, 2022

The skeleton may be Dandy, yes, but so is the world's greatest assassin.

12:00 - Blade Runner: Black Lotus #13 - Time to Die - TV-14V
12:30 - Shenmue the Animation #1 - ~~Bomboclaat~~ Thunderclap - TV-14V
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #29 - Reaper Time, Part 1 - TV-14L
1:30 - Made in Abyss #4 - The Edge of the Abyss - TV-MA (Poke's original rating: TV-PGD)
2:00 - One Piece #521 - The Battle is On! Show Them What You Got From Training! - TV-PGL
2:30 - One Piece #522 - Everyone Together! Luffy, Setting Out for the New World! - TV-PGD
3:00 - Naruto Shippuden #375 - Kakashi vs. Obito - TV-14V
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #13 - Jupiter Jazz, Part 2 - TV-14

Don't fear the reaper, baby.

EmpressAngel · February 6, 2022

Well, that sure was a series we watched.

Blade Runner- Will this show actually make me feel anything this time or nah? I hope this nerd dies. Just beat his ass already. This guy has definitely microwaved a melon and fucked it in the past, probably more than once. This sure is a fight that's happening. Okay I guess we're just not going to bother taking Joseph to a doctor and are just gonna let him slowly die of his injuries, cool. When did the nerd get out of the fightin' room? It's fine, she didn't need that hand. Now now, perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything. He's going to stab you through the gut and kill you for failing to kill her. Wow what a shock. Oh this is some bullshit. Well he didn't see that coming. You could have just killed him but just blinding him so he can continue his horse shit is fine, I guess. Was there a reason he had to blow himself up for this plan to work or did he just not want to bother with a hospital? Oh hey, the one decent cop's alive. Oh good, the nerd's evil plans are still full steam ahead. I wonder if I would have gotten anything out of this show if I knew anything about the Blade Runner franchise.

Shenmue- I also know nothing about this franchise except everyone hated the third game and there's something about a forklift, I think? That sure is a vague and cryptic prophecy. This looks like a good boy. For a second there I thought those fish were wearing hats. Showing me adorable baby animals is a great way to win me over. Oh yeah I'm really scared of these nerds. I think you broke his sternum. Let those boys have some booze, they earned it. I choose to believe the dancing hot dog guy is a main character in the games. Oh yeah I'm real scared of these dudes crying over ice cream. Aww she likes him. I got a bad feel about this, Scooby. Whelp, your dad's dead. I like this guy's outfit. You're a douche, fancy guy. RIP punch dad. Who's this ugly bastard? Just look for a fancily-dressed punchy guy and you'll find him. Ryo needs a hug. Girl, you hug him. Oh she wants your hot dog alright. Look gang, a clue! Thanks, random dude. Don't go in there you idiot! Oh good, the ugly fucker's here. Grab his dick and twist it! Now this is a good boy I can root for. We just got a letter, we just got a letter, we just got a letter, wonder who it's from?

Ass Class- Oh no they forgot her birthday. Y'all fuckin yet? Aww they're doing a birthday thing for her. Don't worry, you can find a decent dildo at any price range...wait not that kind of grown up gift. Flowers work too. I love Bitch Sensei. You dumb bastard just screw her already. Now kiss. GODDAMMIT KARASUMA. Boooooooooooo. Ah hell she got kidnapped. Bye Koro-sensei. The hell are you doing here, flower guy? Aw fuck he's the villain. How dare you hurt my waifu. I always vote for letting Karma kill terrible people. Maybe wanna tell your remaining teacher about this? Ah shit of course you're locked in. Pocket sand! Good job, kids. Meanwhile, squid shenanigans. He hacked your vocaloid. That's not normal. Oh sweet, crazymode Nagisa's here. It's okay kiddo the important thing is you tried. You okay there, sensei? Well, shit. Good news, dad's here. That fucking costume.

Abyss- I love my kids. Oh sweet, his arms are a security system. I hope y'all brought a map with you. This place is goddamn beautiful; ominous as shit, but beautiful. Fish time! That looks really good. Is that a log pose? Nooo the compass! Oh nice did he steal the letters-no it was the other guy. Oh shit he's coming, y'all better run. Ohhhh jesus christ I don't like that. Ewww spider goop. What's the reverse of altitude sickness because that's what she has. You okay there Reg? You okay tehre Riko? Shit you're caught. Cheese it! Oh hi Hagrid. Look at my cool robot son. Don't do that. Great you've seen his dong now let them go. Sweet, free vaccine! Sweet, free mustard buns! Ozen sounds cool let's meet her. Awww, hugging. Bye Hagrid. Awwwww tiny Riko. Welcome to level 2, kiddos. Now you just have to worry about everything else trying to kill you down there.

One Piece- Joke's on you he looks like the same nerd as always. Thank you, groupies. YOHOHOHOHOHO. Meanwhile, the dick-measuring contest continues. I love these bastards. Did the fakes not think the navy would come over when they started spamming the name? Why do we let Caribou exist. I love Luffy he's so fucking stupid. Ewww he's mud. Oh good the terminators are here. And then everyone died. I'm going to enjoy watching him get wrecked. Thank god somebody finally noticed he's fake. How is Fat Soi Fon the smartest one here. "You almost blew up my lunches, what did food ever do to you?" Luffy got good over the timeskip. He broke the terminator. ONE PUUUUNCH. Yay the boys are together again. Everybody got good. Bye sexy grandpa.

HI HANCOCK. I know I've already made the joke about wanting to be part of Rayleigh and Shakky's marriage but i am 100% serious on that. Don't let Zoro lead the way! Oh hey, ghost girl! Those two are friends now. Sanji no that's creepy. Chopper made a big bird friend. I love Brook so much. Goddammit Brook. Awwww yay the gang's all here. And then Sanji died. Uh guys remember you're being attacked. I LOVE MY WIFE. Oh no Sanji's going to die. Oh he's hard alright. If Luffy won't marry you I sure as hell will. Meanwhile, what the fuck? Aww, Usopp has a friend. Nami has wizard friends. I don't understand that at all but go for it. CAW CAW MOTHERFUCKERS. Alright the army of drag queens helping Sanji absolutely did not age well. You're wasting time, just go!

PokeNirvash · February 6, 2022

In a turn of events that's only shocking in how this is the first time this has happened to me in a long time, absolutely none of last night's shows got recorded. Even though I distinctly remember setting up their recordings last night. Not sure how this could have happened, but it looks like I'm going to have to go to the Internet to watch everything. Shit, when was the last time I had to do that for the block at large? 2013?

PokeNirvash · February 12, 2022

On 2/6/2022 at 2:58 AM, EmpressAngel said:

I wonder if I would have gotten anything out of this show if I knew anything about the Blade Runner franchise.

I doubt it would've made you like Black Lotus, but I think it would've helped. I sat down and watched the original movie on Netflix two days before Black Lotus premiered, and on top of being a damn fine movie by itself, it helped give the series context enough to follow along without answering the questions the show wanted you to ask, plus any that it couldn't have already answered.

12:00 - Shenmue the Animation #2 - Daybreak - TV-14LV
12:30 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #17 - Judgement - TV-MA
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #30 - Reaper Time, Part 2 - TV-14LV
1:30 - Made in Abyss #5 - Incinerator - TV-MA (Poke's original rating: TV-14V)
2:00 - One Piece #523 - A Surprising Fact! The Man Who Guarded the Sunny! - TV-PGL
2:30 - One Piece #524 - Deadly Combat Under the Sea! The Demon of the Ocean Strikes! - TV-PG
3:00 - Naruto Shippuden #376 - The Directive to Take the Nine-Tails! - TV-PG
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #14 - Bohemian Rhapsody - TV-14L

EmpressAngel · February 13, 2022

Shenmue- If he doesn't bone that cute girl who's clearly thirsty for him, I will be severely disappointed in him. I like this girl and her little baby sheep. Surely this poem isn't applicable to our main character. Plot twist, it is written in Chinese but they just had absolute garbage handwriting. Oh good, this ugly fucker's still around. Thanks, friendly old man. Is this the sailor thing people have been referencing for two weeks? Welcome to the Salty Spitoon, how tough are ya? I refuse to fear a man named Charlie. Oh hey, it's that little boy. This'll go well. At least the boy got his soccer ball back. Ask the hot dog guy, maybe he can read it. SHE WANTS TO BANG YOU. Canada, eh? Oh yeah, kidnap the dude who keeps beating everyone's asses, that'll go great. The right direction is VENGEANCE. This is totes not a trap. I'm laughing at how unnecessary tight they made those thugs' shirts. MY MAIL. And then he punched everyone. Don't distract him, old man. Thanks for the help, Charlie. Oh hey did this old guy teach his dad? Next up, pottery side-quest.

Titan- Oh fuck is Levi dead? I refuse to believe Levi's actually dead. Fuck you, Flock or whatever the fuck your name was. Uhhh what's up with that? Zeke, still the fucking worst. I love Hange so much. UHHHHHHHHH WHATS UP WITH THAT? Stop showing me Zeke's ass. Alright this song is a banger. LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUMBLE. Use Gabi as a human shield. I do like packmule girl. Reiner got a lot more attractive in this last season when he developed crippling depression. Owww arm. It's funny that you think he's gonna listen to any order you give him. Titan fight, go! What happened to the one nice boy she was with? Oh right, Falco got fucked up. Oh yeah, this is gonna go just great. Oh great, now everybody is shooting at everybody. That's a lot of blood. Oh hey, are you dumb bastards actually gonna do something not totally sutpid and let the main characters out? Oh right, Sasha's cute boyfriend is here. Nobody wants to see your balls cut off. Mikasa needs a hug. I mean, Levi's also an Ackerman and also kicked the shit out of Eren that one time. Meanwhile, this could be going better.

Ass Class- Dog Koro-sensei is still hilarious. At least we got Tits Mcgee back. Oh no there he goes. I forgive her. Tongue. Shit he's gonna drown them all. SMACK. He's so cool. Maybe don't call her Professor Bitch if you want her to help you. Please don't kill him we love him. Seriously what is with this dude's dark evil aura. I can't stop staring at her tits. Shit he used her as a decoy. Oh no is bitch dead? Bitch-sensei's had it rough. Awww he does care. Eat shit, Reaper Dandy. Koro. HELLOOOO KARASUMA. God, what a mood. I can't stop staring at his tits. Oh I'm into this. What the FUCK. Aim for his gross skinless face. You douchebag. Aw hell is this my fault. PSYCHE. This is definitely doing things for bitch. Calm down lady. Oh he's smooth. Now kiss. Karasuma is best dad. It's going to break me when they inevitably have to kill that squid.

Abyss- Surely this is gonna go just great. Neat, giant compass trees. Aw shit who's that. I got a bad feeling about that voice, kids. Ohhhh I don't like that. Riko no! You're gonna have to kill the murder birds, Reg. Oh fuuuuuck there's a whole flock of them. Shit it's the level curse. And then Riko got eaten. FUCK YOU, BIRDS. I, uh, think you got them. You're a good boy is what you are. This is fine. I love my kids. Aw shit Reg broke. Oh that's horrifying. That notebook would have come in handy, I'm sure. I love her. It's fine, it's technically not cannibalism. This place is so cool. Awwwww Reg is such a good boy. Goddamn monkeys! Hello there, random maid. I got a bad feeling about this, kids. Say hello to Ozen!

One Piece- Why do we let Caribou exist? Nice boat. Oh shit it's baby Roger. Aww he misses his friend. Reminder that devil fruit users lose the ability to swim, so they could never see any of this normally. YOHOHOHO. Zoro. That's a big fish. Luffy no! Zoro no! And then Sanji died. Oh my god you idiots are going to die. Oh thank god, that bubble's more durable than I thought. Oh my god you idiots are going to die. I love Chopper. Well that sounds ominous. ROBOT STUFF! Thanks for the crotch shot, show. Thanks, octobro. Oh shit Kuma protected the ship? Vegapunk, you say? Thanks, bearbro. Sanji is suffering. GODDAMMIT CARIBOU WHY DO WE LET YOU EXIST. I wish I could speak whale. What's that?

SEACOW! Please save the seacow. Mohmoo! Why do I not have a plushie of that thing? Quick, toss him off the ship to his death. Thank you Franky. YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER. Goddammit Sanji, again. Chopper stole his skull joke. I love Brook so much. It looks cool even though I don't understand it at all. The hell is that? Is it Cthulhu? Whatever it is, feed Caribou to it. Oh, there's a corpse and it's not Brook. RELEASE THE KRAKEN. Luffy's gonna fight that thing and probably eat it. Brook. Oh good, he's out of blood to explode out of him. Nothing of value was lost and Mohmoo is free, that's a great day. Oh this isn't gonna end well for our gang of idiots. Oh shit Franky's got some moves. HE'S SO FLUFFY.

OwlChemist81 · February 16, 2022

On 2/13/2022 at 3:09 AM, EmpressAngel said:

AOT - ... I mean, Levi's also an Ackerman and also kicked the shit out of Eren that one time. Meanwhile, this could be going better.

.

Hey, you're right! Mikasa's muscle reaction is obviously not just an involuntary result of her Ackerman blood! Now if only Eren's brain hadn't been damaged from too many Titan transformations to figure that out...

PokeNirvash · February 20, 2022

And here we thought we could only go up from the postal ninjas.

12:00 - Shenmue the Animation #3 - Yin-Yang - TV-14L
12:30 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #18 - Sneak Attack - TV-14LV
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #31 - Round Two Time - TV-14
1:30 - Made in Abyss #6 - Seeker Camp - TV-MA (Poke's original rating: TV-14)
2:00 - One Piece #525 - Lost in the Deep Sea! The Straw Hats Get Separated! - TV-PG
2:30 - One Piece #526 - Undersea Volcanic Eruption! Drifting to the Fish-Man Island! - TV-14DS
3:00 - Naruto Shippuden #377 - Naruto vs. Mecha Naruto - TV-PG
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #15 - My Funny Valentine - TV-14

Or Naruto peeing on Ino, whichever "worst filler episode ever" you prefer.

Edited February 20, 2022 by PokeNirvash

EmpressAngel · February 20, 2022

The best choice I ever made was dropping Naruto years ago.

Shenmue- Did he say they're having a knife festival? Of course the china shop can read Chinese. Oh hey, soccer kid. Gee that would have been helpful to know before your dad got the shit murdered out of him. Mugging is uncool. I'm guessing this episode took several hours of gameplay in the original version. Oh right, the mirror thing. He's a master of the martial art known as murdering the shit out of people. This old man is absolutely going to get murdered. The plot, it thickens. This guy's mad because Daddy doesn't love him enough. So like, why not just give that guy the mirror if that's all he wants. Bang that girl, Ryo. Oh yeah, girls always hate other people knowing they look in mirrors. SHE WANTS YOU TO BONE HER. That's a totally unconspicuous secret hole in the wall. Secret room nothing, that's practically a whole damn secret second house hidden in there. Oh hey, there's the thing. Goddammit this ugly fucker again. I hope that guy dies soon. The Mad Angels, not to be confused with me, who's just a generally bitter and angry angel. Do ye fear death, Jack Sparrow? FORKLIFT AHOY.

Titan- Someone give Mikasa a hug. Oh hey, Sasha's family is here. Save Eren so you can beat his ass yourselves. Meanwhile, this could be going better. Reiner also needs a hug and for someone to remove all the sharp objects in his house. Oh great, fucking Zeke's here. YEET. Props to this show for giving me the ass shots I literally never wanted, I respect it as much as I hate it. Gabi, still the worst. This guy's having a rough day. Jean's had enough of this shit. Oh hey Seitz is alive. Oh hey the one old guy. Oh shit she gave up her scarf. I hope this lady dies painfully soon. Watching Titan Eren waddle down the street is kinda cracking me up. I hope Levi comes back from the dead just to kill the shit out of zeke. GOD I hate that lady. On the flip side, this guy is the best. Let the cute chef guy kill her this time. I'm with Sasha's sister on this one. Oh hey, she's finally learning a lesson here. Falco is a good boy. It's funny that you think Zeke won't do it anyways even if he knows it'd destory Falco. Oh no, I liked pack mule. SIKE. I'm not luck yenough to have Zeke die here.

Ass Class- Oh dang, she's looking good. Boners everywhere. Poor Nagisa. Karma's the best. I love these kids and their squid dad. Nagisa no! Please give this boy a hug. Oh hey, he has a mom. Son you're not helping your case here. Aw fuck she's crazy. I don't like this. Suddenly the gender jokes aren't as funny. Good luck, squid sensei. Oh lord here we go. I DON'T LIKE THIS. Goddammit Koro. I love this squid so much. Oh FUCK what is this. Lady what the fuck. And then this happened. Let him cut his hair. I'm your mom now. This is exactly how I feel at red lights. My little boy is growing up.

Abyss- I'm sure she's nice. Get in the creepy giant cage, kids. Oh right, the whole curse thing. Tall lady. I like her. I love my kids. Yeah she had help, check out her cool robot friend. Here, explain it all to my child maid. Sweet, free whistles. Well, she has barfed a lot today. That's nicer than my house. That's a good question. Marulk is also my child. RIKO HONEY, PANTS. Aww, that was nice of her. As a pasty fucker with shit sun tolerance, that's a mood. Riko's having a great day. Watch out for the barf curse again. I got a bad feel about this, Scoob. WHAT THE FUCK. I'm pretty sure she pissed herself. She wet his bed. Whatever the explanation is on that, I don't think it'll be good. The plot, it thickens. So uh, who made the grave? I'm gonna vote we don't go in the weird lady's creepy private library. Box.

One Piece- I'm nodding off and I've already seen these episodes so I'm throwing in the towel for the night.
Edit: I take it back, I need to share my love for Franky's nipple lights.

Edited February 20, 2022 by EmpressAngel

PokeNirvash · February 26, 2022

Ah yes, a perfect title for the long-awaited forklifting episode.

12:00 - Shenmue the Animation #4 - Shackles - TV-14LV
12:30 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #19 - Two Brothers - TV-MA
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #32 - School Festival Time - TV-14DL
1:30 - Made in Abyss #7 - The Unmovable Sovereign - TV-MA (Poke's original rating: TV-14V)
2:00 - One Piece #527 - Landing at the Fish-Man Island! Beautiful Mermaids! - TV-PG
2:30 - One Piece #528 - Excitement Blow-Out! Sanji's Life Under Threat! - TV-PGD
3:00 - Naruto Shippuden #378 - The Ten Tails' Jinchuriki - TV-PGL
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #16 - Black Dog Serenade - TV-MAV

Brought to you by r/antiwork.

Edited February 26, 2022 by PokeNirvash

EmpressAngel · February 27, 2022

I'm dragging myself away from the Disney Villain Pretty Boy Isekai game I've gotten sucked into for this, be grateful.

Shenmue- I'm just here for the forklift. Oh right, I forgot this was the 80s and travel agencies were still a thing. Not the piggy bank! Hi, discount Josuke. Start whoring yourself out, Ryo. These two are fucking. I am unreasonably excited for this forklift content. Just drive the forklift, forklift driver. No don't leave him alone he's not forklift certified! BRO BRO BRO. I hate this boy. Go bang your girlfriend, Ryo. Maybe your dad wouldn't have abandoned you if you didn't suck so much. This guy's back to beat your ass. Sweet, you learned a new movie. Is she about to get kidnapped so he can save her? Canada, eh. That pallet isn't straight, you fucking failure. BRO BRO BRO BRO BRO BRO BRO. Oh no don't beat up the forklift guy. The bond between forklift operators is sacred. This is not going to go well for her. Nozomi you fucking idiot. I refuse to fear anyone named Terry. Show them your sweet forklift skills. This could be going better. Quick, fake your death. Now now, perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything.

Titan- If Levi doesn't come back from the dead to kill Zeke I'm flipping a table. I'm rooting for packmule here. Armin aren't you a titan too? Fuck you, Zeke. I think that guy might be dead. Aww, that was nice of him. Everyone likes Falco. FUCK Zeke. And then everything was titans. Well this whole operation went tits up in a hurry. Reiner just wants to fucking die. It's important to remember that all of this is Gabi's fault. Oh hey, that guy. I hate you, Zeke. WHELP. You leave everyone's balls alone. So they never developed therapy in this universe. Just two nice brothers playing a game of catch. Wait was Gabi the one who blew his head off because she's once again going to ruin everything. Does the bus run through here? Shit has gotten weird. Order her to destroy everyone's balls like we planned! EAT SHIT, ZEKE. Ymir says no. W H E L P.

Ass Class- Thanks for the exposition, chestnut mascot. UNEMPLOYMENT IS AT ALL-TIME HIGH! I hate that kid. Come eat our nuts, high school kids. Ohhhh, they're those guys. Their ultimate weapon: shitty Yelp reviews. Don't you dare Food Wars this. God I'm gay. This place looks fucking unbearable. PLAY FREEBIRD. Oh hey, it's the orphans. Do we know this kid? I have no memory of this boy. Oh hell it's that guy. Poor Nagisa. Karma's just here to whore him out. "He's just a weeb" is a solid excuse. Oh come on how is that guy not dead. GUN. Busted. He didn't know you were a dude. "Whip your dick out!" Aww, he's a nice rich douchebag. Was that Bobobo? Aw hell it's his crazy mom, kick her out. Will you let him cut his hair? Is that a spark of backstory I see?

Abyss- Dang lady how old are you? Oh hey, it's the magic box. That ain't right. Ohhhh that's fucked up. I'm not comfortable with any of this. Jesus Ozen chill your shit. Reg is a good boy. Yeah I think it's pretty clear this this is a location that god has abandoned. I don't trust this woman around kids. Please don't hurt my robot son. Goddamn she beat this hit out of her. I DON'T LIKE THIS. What the fuuuuuuuuck. MY KIDS, NO! This is some fucked up shit. False alarm and she's not going to murder them, I guess? I only panic-cried a little bit with this. Oh shit her mom's not dead! Aww tiny Lyza. Oh they fuckin. Ozen is your mom now.

One Piece- Ooh it looks cool. I like the sea giraffe. Stop bullying our kraken! Brook is a delight. The hell is this? On fuck you you're with Arlong. We're having grilled fish tonight, gang! For the love of god just hold Luffy down. Haaa, it's a sea lion. Don't let Sanji see those mermamids. Oh good, it worked. And then everyone died. Everybody grab a devil fruit user and save them. Oh my god look at the tiny adorable mermaids. CAMIE! Where's the rest of the crew? She's so cute. Mood, girl. Please tell me what the deal is with the little mermaids. Sanji's going to die. Sanji you've been here for like ten minutes. Bubbles! Oh my god the turtle has a whistle. I'm happy for the starfish. That's the current from Finding Nemo. "I don't get it but it sure is neat!" is how I feel about most things. God I'm gay. RIP Sanji. Meanwhile, shit's abrewin' in the rough side of town. Oh yeah this is gonna go just great for you.

Oh good, the others are alive. Robin and Franky are married. Boy I hope Zoro didn't get tossed somewhere alone. I'm sure Sanji having a rare blood type won't come up at any point. Luffy collects warlords like pokemon. Uncle Fish! Spoiler alert my boyfriend died pre-timeskip. I love the little mermaids so much. That sure is some kind of ship alright. ATTENTION DUELISTS. Titties. Oh my god Sanji's going to die. You are all weirdos. Having my face smashed between a set of massive boobs is also how I want to die. GODDAMMIT SANJI. It's okay sweetie it's not your fault. If you shoot all the blood out of your nose you won't have enough left to fill your dick! Aw crap, Zoro's on his own. Oh neat, that's good to know about blood. I always love all the different laughs in this show. They're pirates, they don't care about laws. Humans suck. And then Luffy destroyed them all. Aww the sea bear doesn't wanna fight him. Camie, just casually stealing the royal boat. Oh my god you could have just said y'all were friendly when you showed up instead of unleashing all the guards.

PokeNirvash · March 5, 2022

She may have a fucked-up body under all those clothes and hair, and an even moreso personality under even less, but I still consider Ozen to be a G-MILF.

12:00 - Shenmue the Animation #5 - Equal - TV-14LV
12:30 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #20 - Memories of the Future - TV-14LV
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #33 - End-of-Term Time/2nd Period - TV-14L
1:30 - Made in Abyss #8 - Survival Training - TV-MA (Poke's original rating: TV-14)
2:00 - One Piece #529 - The Fish-Man Island Will Be Annihilated?! Sharley's Prophecy! - TV-PG
2:30 - One Piece #530 - The King of the Fish-Man Island! Neptune, the God of the Sea! - TV-PG
3:00 - Naruto Shippuden #379 - An Opening - TV-PG
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #17 - Mushroom Samba - TV-14

J-Just thought I'd clarify that.

EmpressAngel · March 6, 2022

I can and have simped for worse within the last week. You do you, buddy.

Shenmue- Are we sure there's no more forkift content? Look at this failure pissing on himself. I like this girl. Be more like this girl, Nozomi. Oh hey, forklift guy. YES MORE FORKLIFT CONTENT. Sorry girl you're not forkllift certified. I'm genuinely delighted by this turn of events. Oh yeah I'm sure they're really dead. Surprise they're not really dead. You dumb gangster bastards they've still got a forklift. 70 vs 2 seems like a fair fight. Mai is my favorite character. PIPE. Time to find yourself a rich sugar daddy, Ryo. Please slap that guy every time he screams BRO at the screen. Screw her already. No, it really was her fault for walking straight into the mobsters. At least take some pity on her and let her blow you. WHAT. Boy howdy did he score out of his league. Meanwhile Nozomi doesn't get dicked, absolutely tragic. MY LEG. Not this fucker again! And these dudes were never seen again.

Titan- SOMEONE LEFT A BABY. Your dad sucked, boys. Eren's having a bit of a rough day. Nobody fucking likes you, Zeke. Weird memory shit. Why not destroy everyone's balls, Eren? The running theme of this season is that Zeke continues to fucking suck. And then we spent years trying to get into that goddamn basement. Oh hey, is that Historia's family? Everyone sucks in this episode. FUUUUTUUURE. Well, this could be going better. Uhhh Eren whatcha doing? And then everyone died. No one's having a good time here. Zeke's having a rough day.

Ass Class- Diiiiiiiiiiick. He's going to turn all your lackeys against you. This is not gonna end well. Piece of shit asshole. I goddamn love Karma. Koro-sensei is best teacher. Oh no the douche is here. What the fuck. Oh no, we can literally murder him for you if that's what you want. Neat, everybody's goals line up nicely together. Karma is the best. May he offer you an egg in this trying time? Good luck kids, do your best. ENGLISH HAMMER. Those monsters are cracking me up. Oh hey, the fake girl. I'm pretty sure the brute force technique is how I passed the science part of my ACT back in the day. Partial credit is indeed a godsend. Karma's so cool.

Abyss- Time for some happy fun training with the adorable children. Oooh it's pretty, go swimming in it. Ohhh that seems ominous. ABYSS HIPPO. Oh fuck you summoned the mosquitos. I love my kids. Your plan is shit, literally. They were definitely lesbians before she found a boyfriend. Lyza needs a hug. Surprise, it's a corpse baby! Sweet, hippo meat. They made it, I'm proud of them. Riko: dead. Riko: FOOD. Time is an illusion, kiddos. Hug! Hug denied. Oh I already don't trust Bondrewd. Joke denied. We got a fresh mystery on our hands, folks. Sweet, magic pickaxe. Tell us the secrets, goddammit! Marulk is so cute. Lyza's so fucking cool. She's so pretty.

One Piece- Last time, Sanji fucking died. Oh fuck DON'T OPEN THAT BARREL. The one with the crowbar is my girlfriend. Goddammit Sanji control your goddamn dick. Boy howdy did this scene not age well. Sorry Luffy you've got covid. Oh sweet, poison immunity. Well, there was that time he got bukake'd in poison sludge. Save those mermaids! Again, why do we let Caribou exist. GIANT SHARK WAIFU. I love you, big titty fortune teller shark wife. No meat for you. I goddamn love Brook. Starfish friend! "Lots of bones to go around!" fucking killed me. Maybe next time we should just let Sanji die. I am unreasonably pleased with that fish taxi's hat. Oh, he's a fucking creep. "That doesn't make sense" has never stopped this show before. Sweet, mermaid genetic lesson. Big Mom? I bet we never hear from her again. Aw shit, now there's a whole damn prophecy to deal with.

Well this looks like a bad time. I'm calling that one guy Douchebag Zoidberg. Oh this guy looks like a real asshole. Remember kids, don't do drugs. Man this starfish is doing well for himself. God I love Nami. Oh fuck how do I get that deal. Oh hey, the king. I like his giant whale. Whaaaaaale. Oh hey it's the shark. Oh good he's a nice king. GODDAMMIT SANJI. Gettin' real tired of this joke, show. Fuck yeah, party! Shut up and get on the shark. We're still missing Franky and Robin, right? And then these random schmucks got murdered. FUCKING ARLONG?

OwlChemist81 · March 12, 2022

In the One Piece universe, it was revealed last week that Mermaids DO in fact have human vaginas...and I'm still not even quite sure how in the hell that works!

PokeNirvash · March 12, 2022

There's a time and place for unsolicited facts, Al, and I don't think this is either of those things.

12:00 - Shenmue the Animation #6 - Dignified - TV-14L
12:30 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #21 - From You, 2,000 Years Ago - TV-MAV 😈
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #34 - Think Outside the Box Time - TV-14
1:30 - Made in Abyss #9 - The Great Fault - TV-MA (Poke's original rating: TV-PGV)
[~~KING~~ EMPEROR CRIMSON!]
3:00 - One Piece #531 - Ryugu Palace! Taken by the Shark That They Saved! - TV-PG
3:30 - One Piece #532 - A Coward and a Crybaby! The Princess in the Hard Shell Tower! - TV-PG
4:00 - Naruto Shippuden #380 - The Day Naruto Was Born - TV-PG
4:30 - Cowboy Bebop #18 - Speak Like a Child - TV-PGV

EmpressAngel · March 13, 2022

Don't worry there's plenty of porn detailing that exact concept.

Shenmue- It's gonna be real hard to top the sheer joy I got from the forklift content but we'll see how it goes. Hi there, Discount Nami. This kid doesn't have a soccer ball you can't trust him. MY BAG. Never trust a child. Go stay with Discount Nami. Hey look, our next sidequest has arrived. Hi there, unnecessarily angry old lady. I bet that guy's dead. Hi, other hot lady. Meeting denied. Is your wish something that can be resolved by punching? Is this friendly old guy the master? Objective unlocked: Punch tree 100 times. I could go for some instant noodles. Thanks douche that's helpful. Discount Nami to the rescue. She's into you, dumbass. I like her. Oh right, the weird girl who speaks in cryptic riddles. Now go get your sack of useless crap back from the orphan. I like that guy who's just carrying around a boombox while trying to fight. Fuck you, tree! Awooda? You've unlocked a new location. Does this lady ever uncross her arms? Surprise, it's the hot lady. Who's this asshole?

Titan- Goddammit Eren! Once again, fuck you Zeke. Time to destroy everyone's balls. Those hands were just holding you back. Oh right, Historia's life is all fucked up too. Well that's an ominous book. I don't like where this is going. I'd like to get off this ride please. Quick, hide in the treegina! That sure is a thing that happened. Congratulations, "I shall reward you with my seed" is the absolute worst sentence I've ever heard! And then she died. Oh hey, the walls are named after them. Okay so did he actually have any idea they'd get her powers if they ate her or was that just some kinda batshit hunch he had? EVERYONE'S YELLING. The surprising twist to getting her on your side is just treating her like a normal goddamn person, who'd have thought. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what is this? Aw shit here we go. Remember that this is all Gabi's fault. Eren what the FUCK. Oh okay then I guess we're just going with the straight up genocide plan then.

Ass Class- Math is a truly terrifying beast. I love my kids. I have no idea what you're saying, boys. Meanwhle Karma learns a valuable lesson bout teamwork. i'm proud of all of you, kids. Now you just have to kill the unkillable squid and you're good. The important thing is, your douchebag principal ate shit on this test. SLAP. It's gonna hurt me so bad when they eventually have to kill him. Oh you sack of shit. So does this douchewad just want the entire world to be destroyed? I love that squid. Oh I'm gonna enjoy watching this assclown fail yet again. What is this excessively elaborate horse shit? Just kill him. I want to see this dickwad suffer. He even fired the chestnut, that bastard! HOORAY FOR UNEMPLOYMENT!

Abyss- Wow, what a hole. Good luck kids, I love you. Meanwhile, I'm glad the other kids are doing okay. Aww look at the adorable puffballs. Oh, everything else is terrifying. Nooo the adorable puffballs! That ship is definitely haunted. Aw shit that's some kinda monster nest. CHEESE IT. RIP boat. Ohhhh that sounds like a bad thing. Oh no it's that fucker again. Throw the puffballs at it! Man I hope that tunnel leads someplace safe. Riko for the love of god just stay there. Riko no what did I just say! I'm guessing she moved all of twelve feet. Food! Great job, now you're being digested. Ewwww. They're so cute I want 400 of them. RIKO GODDAMMIT JUST STAY THERE. And then she got hit with the curse again. And now she's hallucinating. That's not your mom THAT'S NOT YOUR MOM! Congratulations! Aw fuck that thing's still attacking. WHIP OUT THE SCYTHE! I love my good robot son. Surely it's all smooth sailing from here.

One Piece- AGAIN, WHY DO WE LET CARIBOU EXIST. Tonight's theme is apparently me being viscerally disgusted. Present time, shit is hitting the fan. I goddamn love that whale. Luffy, just casully insulting the king. I love Brook. Oh, did you find Zoro? He's already drunk, it's definitely Zoro. Awww, Tom. Robin's archaeology senses are tingling. Magic tree, got it. Here, have this cactus. Oh hey that's nifty. Ooh it's fancy. King Neptune is grounded. Someone feed this boy. Goddammit Luffy! The hell? Oh yeah this is all going just great. Lotta axes jammed in that door. You're on a giant pair of titties. Awwww, she's adorable.

Luffy, immediately insulting their princess. Oh look, it's this asshole again. Ohhhh, he's a fucking creep. It's okay sweetie he just wants your food. Let me axe you a question. That sure are a lot of guards all of a sudden. I mean, Sanji's a pretty solid suspect for mermaid kidnapping. My shark! Yep, that sounds like Zoro. She's so cute! I love Megalo. Oh, he's goddamn terrible. Give Luffy food and he'll protect you with his life. Well that's depressing. SHE'S SO CUTE I LOVE HER. Don't yell at her. Luffy you can't say that! He's breaking you out, sweetie! Wow, these guards suck. Fuck 'em up, guys! Oh hey Zoro. Meanwhile, what the fuck are you people doing. I hate all of you.

PokeNirvash · March 19, 2022

If you thought the encounter with Ozen was dark, then you ain't seen nothin' yet.

12:00 - Shenmue the Animation #7 - Future - TV-14L
12:30 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #22 - Thaw - TV-MA
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #35 - Let Live Time - TV-14V
1:30 - Made in Abyss #10 - Poison and the Curse - TV-MA (Poke's original rating: TV-MA)
2:00 - One Piece #533 - It's an Emergency! The Ryugu Palace is Occupied! - TV-PG
2:30 - One Piece #534 - The Ryugu Palace in Shock! The Kidnapping of Shirahoshi! - TV-Y7FV 🤨
3:00 - Naruto Shippuden #381 - The Divine Tree - TV-PG
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #19 - Wild Horses - TV-14L

When you know, you know.

Edited March 26, 2022 by PokeNirvash

EmpressAngel · March 20, 2022

I knew what was coming and I still wasn't ready.

Shenmue- Every year the "i can't fight a girl!" issue gets more tired and annoying. Sounds like it's time for some SIDEQUESTS, bitches! Hey again, discount Nami. Sometimes you just gotta wake up and start drinking. Congratulations you're a sideshow attraction now. It's either the weird rock smashing thing or whoring yourself out. If the guys won't hit on sure I'm sure willing to pick up the slack. Oh look, a gang of random thugs to get beat up. Never fight a man who wakes up day drinking he's already got nothing to lose. Oh don't worry she'll do your room alright. Punch those rare books in half, Ryo. "Earn rent money" sidequest activated. I like that they just threw Nami's voice at discount Nami here. RYO SHE'S TRYING TO NAIL YOU. Sure, now's a good time for a serious talk. Siiiiiiiiiiiiidequest. Goddammit Ryo you oblivious son of a bitch.

Titan- Previously, Eren activated the apocalypse. Oh hey is that Annie's dad? Reminder that this is all Gabi's fault. The fuck you mean what's wrong, there's a gaping hole in his side. It's not my fault if Reiner dies he's been wanting this the whole season. Falco deserves better. Eren did save everyone's balls but he's out of line with the genocide thing. Oh right, Connie's mom got titan'd way back years ago. Shut up Armin let him save his mommy. Gee thanks Eren this is just great. If Sasha's sister gets eaten I'm flipping a table. I never thought I'd be happy to see Gabi. Chef dude is the best. I love Sasha's parents and their hillbilly accents. Yeah yeah humans are all terrible but Gabi's still the worst here. Trainer Seitz! Eat shit, Yelena. I'm happy to see a return of the derpy running titans. Oh shit it's the old dude. Alright which of you's gonna be the one to go Old Yeller on the commander. Meanwhile, the world's still ending. THIS FUCKING GUY. I enjoy seeing this specific child suffer. Oh right, Reiner's still dying. I'm still waiting for Hange to show back up with Levi 99% dead and 1000% pissed off. Wait was that Annie?

Ass Class- I love this squid so much. Eat shit, douchebag. The hell kind of flashback is this? You're wasting your time show you're not gonna get me to like him. Wow this got DARK. This backstory sure went off the rails. This asshole can still eat shit. Awww these kids. Boooo, he's not dead. I still hate him, show. Huh, he's surprisingy weak. You tried kids. And now for something completely different. I love these kids. He's a peach. Oh hey we're doing Momotaro here. Divorce papers. This is goddamn fantastic. You people just don't understand quality theater. Meanwhile, this guy is STILL a massive sack of asshole. YAY FOR UNEMPLOYMENT!

Abyss- I know what's coming and I've got my Emergency Booze. The enviornments in this show are so fucking cool. At least Riko's having fun. "Bleeding out of everywhere" sounds like a real bad time I hope we don't have to deal with that. I hope those squid things are friendly. Great, we're in a hole full of mysterious unknown monsters. I hope whatever's following them isn't violent. Ohhhhhhh I don't like that. CHEESE IT! Aw fuck it's fast we're so screwed. Good luck kids I believe in you. OHHHHHHHHHHH I DON'T LIKE THAT. Oh shit fuck we're breaking out the Emergency Booze early. I'd like to get off this ride now please. Aaaand it's time for BLOOD FROM EVERYWHERE. Oh fuck oh FUCK her hand. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I DON'T LIKE THAT. I don't think you got much of a choice here, kiddo. I can't drink fast enough to handle this. Here sweetie bite down on this stick. Jesus fucking christ. Knowing this was coming didn't make it any better. And now the giant bugs are here, great. Shit please tell me she's not dead. FUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Raise your hand if you're already crying! BUNNY FRIEND, THANK GOD. Reg honey I don't think anything's gonna hurt her more at this point. I've only just met this little creature but I would die for her.

One Piece- Talk about a fucking tone change. I like that it didn't occur to them to take that guy's swords before they put him in the dungeon. God I love Nami. Shirahoshi is so goddamn adorable. I love these idiots so much. Don't feel bad my back hurts constantly too now. This entire family is weird as hell. I want Zoro to answer my door forever. You goddamn idiots. I miss Uncle Fish. I still love those tiny mermaids. Oh hey, Sanji's still alive. Shirahoshi honey use your words. Take her to that forest right now! Hey could y'all go check on my kid? Zoro gives absolutely zero fucks and I love it. Brook no mermaids don't wear panties. GODDAMMIT BROOK. This fucking wingnut just yeeted a bunch of dudes at her. Well this banquet sure turned into a real shitshow. I love that shark.

Oh hey Franky. Wow the princess is gone who could have seen that. Don't fuck with Brook. Fucking Hordy, Oh hey Hachi! Remember kids, don't do drugs. Arlong sucked. Remember kids, racism is wrong. Joke's on you douchebag, Luffy's his friend. Hachi is a good boy. Oh no Hachi! Poor Hachi. You creepy fuck you stay away from that princess. Fuck you Hordy. Goddammit Sanji. Chopper's done with his shit. Oh hey, he's a doctor! Oh good they found Hachi. This day just keeps getting weirder for everyone. Great timing on kidnapping that princess. I sense a tragic backstory ahead. Uncle fish!

PokeNirvash · March 26, 2022

Get ready for a whole new look to commemorate 25 years (minus a couple) of the better cartoon show.

12:00 - Shenmue the Animation #8 - Aspiration - TV-14L
12:30 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #23 - Sunset - TV-MA
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #36 - Secret Identity Time - TV-14V
1:30 - Made in Abyss #11 - Nanachi - TV-MA (Poke's original rating: TV-MA)
2:00 - One Piece #535 - Hordy's Onslaught! The Retaliatory Plan Set Into Motion! - TV-PG
2:30 - One Piece #536 - The Battle in the Ryugu Palace! Zoro vs. Hordy! - TV-PGL
3:00 - Naruto Shippuden #382 - A Shinobi's Dream - TV-PG
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #20 - Pierrot le Fou - TV-MAV

EmpressAngel · March 27, 2022

Shenmue- Have fun doing the housework, Ryo. It's definitely gonna rain and ruin those books. Just do the chores, chore do-er! And then he obliterated some old lady. That's a box full of drugs isn't it. Or tea, that's fine too I guess. Sweet, free tea. Discount Nami is my favorite. Just beat that kid's ass already. Don't worry Ryo's too oblivious to notice anyone's thirst. Every single woman in this town is a thirsty karate master. THAT'S MY PURSE, I DON'T KNOW YOU. Kick my ass next please. Is it time for a tragic backstory? Aw hell what now. Gentrification is the real villain of Shenmue. Goddammit Ryo you forgot the books! Girl he forgot to do your stupid books one time, get over it. Well mostly he was doing it just to get daddy's love. Let granny beat their heads in. Please tell me grandma's in his harem now. Granny being the kung fu master is less than surprising. Oh good this girl is less of a bitch now. You found a clue!

Titan- This could be going better. I have no memory of these people at all. Oh hey Annie. This is someone's fetish. You feel lucky, punk? Having to hear this girl complain and nothing else for years straight sounds like fucking torture. These two are lesbians. Man her life sucked. Her dad is awful. Shippin' it. Annie needs a hug. Meanwhile, everything sucks for everyone. Honestly maybe y'all should just let the others die. God I'd listen to Seitz read a phone book. Also meanwhile, have some more depression from Armin and Mikasa. Connie's also gonna need a hug. You're gonna have to kill Eren, kids. I miss Erwin. Never forget, this is all Gabi's fault. Floch is the WORST. I will eat my shoes if Levi and Hange are actually dead. Connie no! Falco doesn't deserve this. Hange! LEVI.

Ass Class- I love these kids. It's gonna destroy me when they eventually find a way to kill that squid. Sweet he found the porn stash. Try the pudding thing again, he'll never expect it. Uhhh what the FUCK is that. Well this came totally out of left field. What? Am I supposed to know who that is? Well this is awkward. Out of everything in this show, this is the hardest thing to believe. Wait how old is she supposed to be? I forgot that Koro's actually done some fucked up shit back in the day. Oh that sounds horrifying. Okay I appreciate her breaking that douchebag's desk. Nagisa is a good boy. You can go ahead and beat this guy's ass. "The dangers of untamed tentacles" 100% sounds like a hentai title. Oh this backstory's gonna fuck me up. At least she's having a good time. Sorry kids I don't think your heartfelt talk is gonna work on her. This could be going better. Aw hell she broke.

Abyss- I've only known Nanachi for two minutes but I'd die for her. Uhhh y'all Riko's really not looking so good here. So is there a way to fix her because between the arm and the curse I'm not thrilled with her odds her. Right up the butt. Owwwww. It may come as a shock that neither of this children is a medical professional. I love my kids. Uh what was that. What the FUCK is that. Well this is some fucked up shit. Why am I already crying? Fetch quest time, Reg. Ohhh I don't like this guy. Keep an eye out for Ryo on his own sidequest. Reg is such a good boy. Shroombear nooo! And then naked time. I hope they don't have to kill that bear. False alarm this is good. I love this bunny. She's right, dinner is the most important part. Hands off the bunny, kiddo. Oh hey, the pickaxe is here. This is a weird place. Whelp, Reg's hallucinating. Uhhh whatcha up to, Mitty?

One Piece- You're a fucking creep, dude. Oh hey, Robin. Good luck guards you're about to get your bones snapped in half. God I love Robin. Zoro's having a great day. I love that goddamn giant shark. Nami and Usoopp are suffering. You're just talking nonsense now, Neptune. Shit, we forgot about the switch! Oh thank god, Sunny's alright. Tom's brother looks nothing like him. Fish genetics are weird. RACISM IS BAD, GUYS. Uncle fish! Man it sure is lucky that Luffy kidnapped the princess. Zoro's not drunk enough for this. Vander Deken fills me with a sense of visceral disgust. Goddammit Luffy.

That poor shark needs a vacation. Nami's cool with getting all your money. Aw hell you triggered Nami's PTSD. Remember, all rich people are murderers. Arlong, doing exactly one decent thing in his life. God I love Brook so much. And then they all drowned. Neptune may be dumb as rocks but he's a good dude. Zoro's hot and I like watching him fight. Where's Nami? Usopp with the assist. Brook's dying. Zoro you can't use your swords as good under water. Robin and Franky, still married. Meanwhile, Choopper's doctoring. Goddammit Sanji. Oh my god don't show Sanji that princess. Oh no she's gonna pop out of the shark and they're all gonna misunderstand. Goddammit Megalo! Whelp, Sanji's dead.

EmpressAngel · April 3, 2022

Shemue- So how long has he been on this quest in-universe? Sidequest to translate this random symbol. Granny's got your back here. Man I hope my obscure cup placement message gets picked up. FIGHT-well that was quick. At least they bandaged him up after they beat the shit out of him. You have not unlocked this backstory yet. She's telling you to take your shirt off. Hey look, you made a friend. Your new friend is Sweeney Todd. Ryo you're gonna accidentally call somebody's mom a whore with those cups and get your ass shot. Oh hey, you made another friend. Aw crap we activated a fight scene. Sorry dude somebody killed your boys. Thanks, random shadow figure. Hey there, you know where I could find some sailors? PIPE, AGAIN. i'm gonna laugh so fucking hard he if gets nailed with the pipe a third time. You need nerves of steel, like the pipe that's given you two concussions this week. I don't trust this guy. Goddammit Ryo. And then they both died. Seriously, don't trust that guy. Meanwhile, this lady's still kind of a bitch. Thanks for nothing, lady.

Titan- God I love Hange. Local man too angry to die. Hange needs a hug. Levi needs a hug. I just want to watch Levi finally get to murder Zeke. This is a real rough night for everybody. Falco is a good boy. Aw hell he's figuring things out. Oh my god that is the worst excuse. Oh good, I was wondering if everybody just forgot Armin was a titan too. Meanwhile, lesbians. Sorry Mikasa your girlfriend is dying. Bitch gimmie my scarf. Stone fucking cold. Fuuuuuuck yoooooooou. Oh yeah I'm sure Jean's really changed sides. Time to murder some pie. Oh hi Annie. Oh no Annie dumped her girlfriend. Oh yeah this is gonna go just great for you, ya douchebag. This guy's a good dude. PACKMULE! Ahahahaha you fucking tool. Y'all could have just left Yelena there. Good news Reiner it's time for a suicide mission.

Ass Class- Y'know I've literally never once questioned why there was an omnipotent squid monster here and why he decided to go into teaching. You could just try shooting her. Oh that sounds like it's gonna hurt. Quick, tell her she's got no tits, she'll attack you instead. Oh shit get it boy. Congratulations you won a girlfriend. Please don't kill my squid. YOU SON OF A BITCH. I got a bad feeling about this. Wait what? I don't think I'm prepared for this. Well this is depressing as hell. Oh no he was pretty. Spoiler alert things are not going to go well for her. Magic science, got it. Oh that sounds bad. Talk shit get hit. Awww he likes her. Fucking Dandy Reaper. Ohhh you douchebag you set her up. You okay there buddy? Well this hurt me.

Abyss- Oh no not Precious Moments Boy. Okay so something in that orphanage is definitely killing those kids. Mitty no don't eat her! Oh sweet, she makes antidotes. Be nice she worked hard on that stew. Oh we've gotta wake Riko up so she can cook. Oh hey, it's a magic blanket. So try and avoid the magic blanket, got it. That sounds horrifying. Uh hey Riko you okay in there? Cool, she's got walkie talkies. Today's your lucky day, random whistle guy. Just follow the bunny's instructions. Now shoot the fuck out of that thing. That old man is shitting his pants right now. Good job kiddo I'm proud of you. WAIT WHAT NANACHI NO. Oh look, I'm already crying.

One Piece- Hordy fucking sucks. Decken fucking sucks. Luffy you're just making this worse for yourself. And then Sanji died. Hachi is a good boy. Oh yeah this is gonna go great for y'all. NOT THIS CREEP AGAIN. I would 100% choose death without a second thought. Oh my god she's so precious. Fuck off, citizens! THANK YOU. I love Chopper and Sanji together here. Get back in the shark. Son of a bitch he's still going at it. Oh hey that guy. BEAT HIS ASS, ZORO. He's on drugs. You kinda suck, Neptune. God I love Brook. Quick Usopp your'e gonna have to give Zoro mouth to mouth. Don't fuck with Zoro.

Remember kids, don't do drugs. I'm slightly surprised that Zoro managed to swim in the right direction. Whelp there goes the bubble stick. And then he died. I goddamn love that whale. Meanwhile Zoro's slowly drowning. Fucking Brook. Meanwhile, more shenanigans. Oh hey Franky. Uncle fish! If I had a nickel every time this show reuses that scene of Ace getting fisted through the chest, I'd have enough money to afford the theraphy I clearly need. Oh good Sanji's less obnoxious. Close enough. Well that's depressing. Hey by the way there's an evil fish mutiny going on. Oh no you just activated Nami's PTSD again.

PokeNirvash · April 3, 2022

Whoops, missed another one.

12:00 - Shenmue the Animation #9 - Distinct - TV-14LV
12:30 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #24 - Pride - TV-14DLV
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #37 - Confession Time - TV-14V
1:30 - Made in Abyss #12 - The True Nature of the Curse - TV-MA (Poke's original rating: TV-14V)
2:00 - One Piece #537 - Keep Shirahoshi Safe! Decken Close Behind! - TV-PG
2:30 - One Piece #538 - The Straw Hats Defeated?! Hordy Gains Control of the Ryugu Palace! - TV-PG
3:00 - Naruto Shippuden #383 - Pursuing Hope - TV-PG
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #21 - Boogie Woogie Feng Shui - TV-14L

PokeNirvash · April 10, 2022

And that would've been another one missed, had I not just thought to step in now and get it down.

12:00 - Shenmue the Animation #10 - Comeback - TV-14LV
12:30 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #25 - Night of the End - TV-14V
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #38 - Past Time - TV-14LV
1:30 - Made in Abyss #13 - The Challengers - TV-MA (Poke's original rating: TV-MA)
2:30 - One Piece #539 - The Haunting Ties! Nami and the Fish-Man Pirates! - TV-PG
3:00 - Naruto Shippuden #384 - A Heart Filled With Comrades - TV-PG
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #22 - Cowboy Funk - TV-14LV

Here I thought I'd get better at the whole "not procrastinating" thing...

EmpressAngel · April 10, 2022

Tonight killed me.

Shenmue- I keep forgetting that one girl who speaks in cryptic riddles exists. I don't trust this guy but I do respect someone who chooses to do business with their tits out. Another sidequest! Time for another mook fight. PLAYER THREE HAS ENTERED THE GAME. Well boys the important thing is you tried. Somebody's gonna have to cut their hand off. The ol' GET HELP ploy. Ryo I'm pretty sure that scrape on your face has healed by now, you can take that bandaid off. Oh yeah this fight is gonna go just great. CHEESE IT. You'll be fine he's too fat to jump. Maybe Ryo's just been gay as hell this whole time. Meanwhile, traumatic flashback for that lady. Oh hey, you found a clue on that tape. And now is it time for a sidequest to rescue that guy? False alarm, it's bird time. This guy just wants to be gay and feed birds. I think that counts as a hate crime. Well you found that guy pretty easy. That bird is about to betray you. You've been bamboozled! Yeah I'm sure that flimsy closet door is gonna hold him. It's funny to me that even having never played these games I can still recognize this entire key sequence as a game mechanic. Great job boys ya blew it. And then Ryo died. BEAT HIS ASS.

Titan- His imaginary wife sure looks a whole lot like Mikasa. Jean is a good boy. Don't worry Levi'll be up and murdering titans in no time. Hange is the best. I miss Erwin. Time for a well-earned potato break. Listen here douchebag you tried to titan-genocide them first. Just let Jean beat his ass. Yeeeeah I think it's a little late to talk this all out with Eren. Girl fight! Annie sweetie your dad kinda sucks ass. Fuck yeah, stew! Sweet, free boat. Y'all can just go ahead and kill Yelena if you want. Yelena is the WORST. Imagine doing all that because you're thirsty over Zeke of all people, the sheer embarrassment would have killed me. Shut up bitch nobody cares about you. You keep Sasha's name out of your fucking mouth. Happy festivus, ya cunt. All of them need a hug. Depression Reiner, still the most attractive one in this series. Gabi still sucks but do it for Falco. Don't waste that stew! God I love Levi. Not these assholes again!

Ass Class- I know he was an assassin who killed a shitton of people but he still needs a hug. Her fiance can fuck off these two are cute together. Titties. This is too wholesome it's gonna hurt me any minute now. Being on teh verge of tears over my job is just an average work day. Aw fuck here we go. Fucking lab rat. Stop him with your boobs. Oh that's just mean. YOU ASSHOLE. Oh no, I always assumed you just had a fetish for torturing people. This hurts me. This fucking dickbag killed your girlfriend. Aaaand I'm crying. Oh no her revenge thing was all a huge misunderstanding. Man his death is really gonna destroy me. Everyone needs a hug. She likes you, you little dork. Thanks, bitch sensei. Uh kiddo I don't think you're all gonna become genius scientists in the next two months.

Abyss- Now for something that's gonna hurt me even worse! WAIT WHAT, NO. I got a bad feeling about this flashback. Ohhh I'm already crying. I do not trust Bondrewd. She looks like a Pokemon trainer. Oh noooo that's human Mitty. Sorry girl the cave monster says it's bedtime. These tiny lesbians are going to break my heart. I got a real bad feeling about this. Get out of here random dude, your silly ethics have no place here. I don't like where this is going. Oh fuck that science chamber can't be a good thing. OH FUUUUUUUUUUCK. Spoiler alert Bondred fucking sucks. I'd like to get off this ride now please. OHHHHHHH THIS HURTS. This is fucked up. Jesus fucking christ, show. Mitty is best girl. Do not let Nanachi cook. Well Reg the important thing is you tried. Please don't kill Mitty. At least make it quick and painless if you can. NOOO ALL THE PLUSHIES. I know I start crying a lot when I watch stuff but I'm straight up gross sobbing here. Everyone needs a hug. I knew exactly what was coming and I still wasn't prepared. Oh good Riko's awake. Everyone loves Nanachi. Reg sweetie the bunny is a lesbian. Goddammit show I just stopped crying! Please stop hurting me, show. That hot spring looks cool as shit. Nanachi playing expert wingman here. Poor Reg. And then KNIFE. Owwww that looks painful. I love my kids. I hope their friends are doing okay. Hi Ozen! Good fucking luck kids you're gonna need it. Well that was an emotional marathon. FUCK this guy.

One Piece- I don't have the mental strength to watch anything else for the night.

PokeNirvash · April 16, 2022

That last episode of Shenmue had to be the most homoerotic thing I've seen (that wasn't porn) since SyFy aired Descendants of Darkness. Seriously, I counted only three women in that episode, and one of them didn't even share screentime with Ryo!

Nami's backstory is still tragic as hell, possibly even more tragic, but my inner child still can't comprehend what Oda was thinking with Bellemere's hair.

On a lighter note, I (unknowingly) celebrated National Anime Day yesterday by spending $30 on Discotek's DVD of the 1971 Lupin Green Jacket series at the closest thing I have to a local Half Price Books. It's sub-only, but I'm okay with that. Also, fitting considering who's coming back tonight.

12:00 - Shenmue the Animation #11 - Entangled - TV-14LV
12:30 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #26 - Traitor - TV-14V
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #39 - Discord Time - TV-14L
1:30 - Lupin the 3rd: Part 6 #0 - Episode 0: The Times - TV-14
2:00 - One Piece #540 - A Hero Who Freed the Slaves! An Adventurer Tiger! - TV-PG
2:30 - One Piece #541 - Kizaru Appears! A Trap to Catch Tiger! - TV-PG
3:00 - Naruto Shippuden #385 - Obito Uchiha - TV-PG
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #23 - Brain Scratch - TV-14

Back for your hearts and your money.

Edited April 16, 2022 by PokeNirvash

EmpressAngel · April 17, 2022

16 hours ago, PokeNirvash said:

That last episode of Shenmue had to be the most homoerotic thing I've seen (that wasn't porn) since SyFy aired Descendants of Darkness.

This show deserves an award.

Shenmue- Beat his ass! Meanwhile, Ryo's dead. Hey sometimes revenge is the right path you don't know everything, lady. FIGHT ME. And then she killed Ryo. That's the People's Elbow. Hi, discount Nami. We gotta go rrescue that old guy. She's helped you enough now you gotta bang her. My dumb ass would ahve immediately tripped over the single obstacle in the dark room and cracked my skull open. I have lost track of how many sidequests we've had a long time ago. Discount Nami is tired of not getting laid. I miss the girl who slapped people. This weird guy's also trying to get Ryo to fuck him. I'm sure Lan Di isn't going to show up and murder the shit outta this fat guy. Oh, discount Nami's got a tragic backstory. Yes, this is totallly a conversation that you shady bastards should be having in public. Ren coming out of nowhere and suckerpunching that guy in the gut made me laugh. Sorry boys this was all a trap.

Titan- If hange dies I'm flipping a table. Use Yelena as a meatshield and just barge in. No, kill the shit outta them. Connie sweetie those aren't your friends they're trying to kill the entire planet. God I love Hange. Please kill her already. Gabi I swear to god if you ruin this again I'm beating you with a chair. Man, this guy experienced some real positive character growth in about ten minutes. Fuuuuuuuuuck yooooooooou. I really hope this guy is stupid as fuck. Noooo we're totally on your side. No seriously did I just completely misremember Armin becoming a titan because I don't think he's done literally anything with that since it happened. YOU ARE THE WOOOOORST. Good for you, old lady. Oh my god somebody just kill him already. You shoulda just killed them all from the start. "You said we'd eat meat together" is cracking me up. TITANS, DOUCHEBAGS. It's nice to see Annie back in action. Oh hey, is Armin finally gonna do some titan shit? Nope, not today it's all on Connie.

Ass Class- No offense kids but I don't like your odds on curing him as a flock of middle schoolers. Uhh i think Karma broke. Oh shit Nagisa's got some moves. I love that squid. Okay kids new plan we're playing paintball. This is gonna hurt me. Look kids sometimes the ultimate act of love would be putting me out of my fucking misery. Honestly I still don't remember a solid 3/4 of these students. This is gonna end up with Nagisa and Karma having to face each other alone. Man some of you kids are dumb as hell. However this ends is gonna break my heart. Nagisa holy shit.

Lupin- Big deal you're in jail you'll be out in three minutes, tops. Hiiiiii Fujiko. Goddammit Fujiko! Fucking drones and their weird plastic gunk. I am also old and tired of my job. Boys stop fighting you're both pretty. You okay there Jigen? Something's up here don't drink that. Hi pops! You don't hang out with Lupin for the jobs you hang out with him for the personality. God I love Fujiko. Something's up here Jigen's not right. Fujiko/money is my OTP. Alright that was a good shot that might be actual Jigen. Meat fight! God I'm gay for her. Everyone knows Lupin/Jigen is the real OTP. Everybody's drunk and fighting, just like an average family reunion. Fuji if Jigen doesn't wanna work for you I will pay you for the opportunity. Hi pops, again. Not those damn drones again. It's fine it's nothing a little explosives won't fix. Eat shit, drones. I always love the Lupin car. Joke's on you he's just gonna blow the place right the fuck up. God he's cool. New jacket, go. CUE THE SONG.

One Piece- In this house we stan Fisher Tiger. I love you, Uncle Fish. SLAP. Okay how the hell did she survive having Shirahoshi? Her strongest attack is making you ashamed of yourself. Everyone loved her and then she died tragically. Lady I know you mean well but goddamn do humans suck and should be avoided at all costs. Giant baby! This is too wholesome it's gonna end badly. Again, humans are the worst. Uncle Fish needs a hug. FUCKING ARLONG AGAIN. Please beat Arlong's ass. Tiger's right, humans fucking suck. We stan a legend. Owww that looks painful. Awww, that's actually really sweet.

That baby is too large. Lady I admire your optimism but you're massively underestimating how much humans suck. I'm gonna punch baby Hordy. Brilliant move there, attacking the FISH PIRATES in the open ocean. God fucking damnit Arlong. Meanwhile, Kizaru is high as balls. I would follow Tiger into hell and back. Arlong is a massive bag of dicks, we're all thinking it. I'm loving the queen hounding people like an insanely persistent Jehova's Witness. Here, have this child. This girl needs a hug. GODDAMMIT ARLONG. Oh no, the nobles broke her. Jesus christ kid. Tiger what the FUCK. I know you did it to help but holy shit my dude. Well I'm crying right now. Awwww, you got your own Fish Dad. Awwwww she gets to cry.

PokeNirvash · April 23, 2022

No surprise here, FUNimation skipped out on the technical next episode of OP, probably because it crosses over with a show that did so badly for them they didn't bother dubbing all of it. Proving that it really does suck to be Gourmet Hunter Dandy.

12:00 - Shenmue the Animation #12 - Guidepost - TV-14LV
12:30 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #27 - Retrospective - TV-MA
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #40 - Outcome Time - TV-14V
1:30 - Lupin the 3rd: Part 6 #1 - Enter Sherlock Holmes - TV-14SV
2:00 - One Piece #543 - The Death of the Hero! A Shocking Truth of Tiger! - TV-PGL
2:30 - One Piece #544 - The Sun Pirates Split! Jimbei vs. Arlong! - TV-PG
3:00 - Naruto Shippuden #386 - I'm Always Watching - TV-PG
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #24 - Hard Luck Woman - TV-14L

Why bother numbering it like it's official when it's completely arbitrary?

EmpressAngel · April 24, 2022

Count your blessings, those crossovers were fucking awful.

Shenmue- Last time, the boys fucked up. Discount Nami's accepted that she's never getting any dick. Don't provoke the fat guy he's gonna catch up to you eventually. Hey maybe stop idling on the street and drive your bike away from the guy who wants to kill you. Is this Chainsaw Man? Oh, I guess she's somebody important's kid then. It's fine we can always rescue her with another forklift. What the hell is that guy wearing. Now the kid gets his own sidequest. Meanwhile, rats. Y'all gonna explain what this dude's deal is or nah? Sidequests paying off! Okay then we're just never gonna explain this guy's outfit. Ha, bike guy. Dudes you should probably just grab her and cheese it. Floor it, grandpa! Oh no, he's too fat to brute force you way past. I'm kinda rooting for Chainsaw Twink here. Big deal like this is the first time he's been put into handcuffs by a shirtless muscle dude. He's having a bad day. Oh hey Lan Di.

Titan- Well folks this plan has gone right to shit in a hurry. Oh fuuuuuuuuuuck. Whelp the entire planet's screwed. Y'all are gonna wanna put a rush job on that. At least Annie's having a good time. Whoever manages to kill this douchewad earns my eternal gratitude. That arm was just holding you back. Thanks Reiner. Falco is a good boy. Id on't know who just blew them up but thank you. Calm down Annie this is no time to lose your head. Connie's got some rage isues to work out right about now. Everybody needs a hug. Thanks, packmule. Good luck with the titan thing, kiddo. At least he gets a cool design. Bite that asshole in half, good boy! Holy shit, did something GOOD actually happen when Gabi shot someone? Remember, don't fuck with Mikasa. Somebody grab Monster Falco and run. Whelp, he's dying here. FUCK YEAH BALD SEITZ. God speed, old dudes. This could be going better. Mikasa honey Eren sucks, date literally anyone else on the ship.

Ass Class- Previously, holy shit Nagisa. You should probably just shoot him. Karma's so cool. I'm surprised he realized Nagisa's a boy. In case you forgot Karma's kinda ducktits bonkers. Have fun beating the piss out of each other, kiddos. I love this squid. I think ya got him, dude. SURPRISE BITCH. Weaponized hug, go! Nagisa sweetie you can let go now. True friendship is not stabbing them in their weak spot. Okay so how do we save him now? I don't think it'll be that easy, folks. Vocaloid girl might be the only kid in this class I dislike. The space station, saving squid monsters AND avoiding being turned to stone for thousands of years. Ignore what we're about to say we're just gonna talk about some illegal shit. We're going into spaaaaace.

Lupin- I'm sure this random guy with his secret cane isn't about to kick off a plot. This isn't even the first anime Sherlock Holmes I've watched this year. Oh hey he's acceptably attractive I can work with this. Oh hey is that Lupin's friend from the other series? SURPRISE LUPIN. Well hey now you got a free convertible. He did save your life you kinda owe him one. Oh my god please tell me this adorable schoolgirl is our Watson. I'm here for this modern renaissance of hot young Mrs. Hudsons. Hiiiiiiiiiiii Fujiko. God I'm gay. Oh that seems ominous. Well this could have gone better. Hi pops! Okay then so Watson's dead. Fuji honey escape first exposition later. That's definitely not a fake letter just to get you out of the action. He's running because you're chasing him. I love this little girl. She's like ten just buy her a Nintendo. And then shit exploded, again. Uh hey Lupin what the fuck. What is this ED.

One Piece- Oh that title sounds ominous. Awwww she's so cute. Fuck you, Arlong. Arlong, still the fucking worst. I love you Uncle Fish. Congratulations you now have several dozen fish uncles. Awwww they're holding hands. I love this child so much. Can somebody beat the shit out of Arlong already. Aww she got to go home finally. OH FUUUUUCK. What is this dude's hair. You're fish you don't need a ship. Remember, fuck the government. Tiger. He's right, humans are the fucking worst. Somebody hug Tiger. I wonder whatever happened to Koala.

Fuck you, Arlong. Kizaru, still high as fuck. Jimbe's a good dude. Aww look at lil' giant Shirahoshi. I have the exact same reaction whenever I'm walking into a grocerys tore and there's someone shilling for a petition. Humans are the fucking worst! Sorry kids Mommy needs to go get drunk in the bathtub. Okay I was joking about the drunk thing but apparently not. Drunk queen makes a good point and way more sense than I make when I'm hammered. Jimbe don't fuck around. Oh hell no Hordy you get the hell out of here. Beat his ass, Uncle Fish. You should have killed him. How does Aladdin move on land?

Blatch · April 25, 2022

On 4/23/2022 at 7:12 AM, PokeNirvash said:

No surprise here, FUNimation skipped out on the technical next episode of OP, probably because it crosses over with a show that did so badly for them they didn't bother dubbing all of it. Proving that it really does suck to be Gourmet Hunter Dandy.

Poor Shimabukuro... he can't seem to succeed at anything, not even being the most notorious sex pest in Jump.

Since it's been a long time since someone other than EmpressAngel posted viewing notes in here, I'll chime in with some stuff.

Shenmue is almost finished, and I'm still enjoying it very much. However, I've found the plot to be bloated and harder to follow since the action moved to Hong Kong. I'm not sure if I would pin the blame on the show itself, but it's a stark contrast to the first half's narrative cohesiveness and simplicity; no matter what Ryo was doing, even if it felt like a side quest, he was always making some progress on the main goal. And everything that wasn't was still highly entertaining, like his encounters with the crazy old dude, or the various forklift adventures. This arc, on the other hand, seems to have as many dead ends as juicy ledes, and some parts of the overall story (like Ryo briefly moving into that temple) seem superfluous, though I guess I appreciate the narrative filigree (and Ryo getting to spar with that woman in the China dress). On top of that, I miss one plot point in particular from the first half: Nozomi talking to Ryo about if he actually had plans in life beyond trying to avenge his father. Guess that was never going to go anywhere once sailed the high seas. As a result, seeing her in the end credits feels rather awkward for reasons that go beyond her having practically disappeared from the main show; couldn't we at least have gotten one look at how things are going in Japan right now? Hopefully we'll get it in the finale.
And speaking of: ooh boy, that promo. Looks like Ryo has immediately forgotten everything he learned about the Wuda in charging straight at Lan Di. I don't think that's gonna end well; looks like he still has a lot to learn, which is a bitter pill to swallow given how far I thought he had grown over the course of this arc. But that was sort of what I expected, given that the Chinese girl is primed and ready to finally enter the plot.
Lupin the Third: Part VI... hmm, okay. I watched parts of Parts IV and V, and while I didn't finish the latter, I actually skipped most of the former in favor of watching the last four episodes, which is really weird given my viewing habits. All I can remember from the climax was that Leonardo da Vinci was involved; seems just weird enough. This time around, we have what seems to be a bold attempt at making a Lupin show where he isn't the main character. (Caveat emptor: I haven't seen The Woman Called Fujiko Mine.) Instead, we have... Tatsumi? That was my first thought; maybe it's the Sentai connection talking, but this Sherlock Holmes seems gruff, but also not particularly interesting, except for the fact that he has a Japanese schoolgirl; making things worse, Lily is a rather generic name, but that's just my opinion. The meat of the episode is typical Lupin: mostly not anything you haven't seen before, but entertaining nonetheless. Hope I actually ride this installment to its conclusion.
Content ratings watch: Looks like this episode got a 14SV just for that scene of male gaze towards the disguised Fujiko? I didn't see anything else. If so, it seems overblown, but then again, so have a lot of Toonami's ratings in the recent past.
Also, interesting tidbit I randomly noticed: You Moriyama, the director of Megalobox, did the ED, which I certainly wouldn't have guessed. It's nice and light with a bit of English lyrics, and I think it'll be a nice way to end my lazy Saturdays going forward.
I miss Made in Abyss.
Looks like Toonami aired another external music video, probably during One Piece (since I didn't catch it). Make that another week without a game review, which I'm genuinely bumming about. Has Toonami stopped doing any sort of goodies with TOM narration? I hope not, because it would be a waste of the new Absolution and this sweet, sweet packaging.

PokeNirvash · April 28, 2022

On 4/24/2022 at 10:55 PM, Blatch said:

Lupin the Third: Part VI... hmm, okay. I watched parts of Parts IV and V, and while I didn't finish the latter, I actually skipped most of the former in favor of watching the last four episodes, which is really weird given my viewing habits. All I can remember from the climax was that Leonardo da Vinci was involved; seems just weird enough. This time around, we have what seems to be a bold attempt at making a Lupin show where he isn't the main character. (Caveat emptor: I haven't seen The Woman Called Fujiko Mine.) Instead, we have... Tatsumi? That was my first thought; maybe it's the Sentai connection talking, but this Sherlock Holmes seems gruff, but also not particularly interesting, except for the fact that he has a Japanese schoolgirl; making things worse, Lily is a rather generic name, but that's just my opinion. The meat of the episode is typical Lupin: mostly not anything you haven't seen before, but entertaining nonetheless. Hope I actually ride this installment to its conclusion.

Content ratings watch: Looks like this episode got a 14SV just for that scene of male gaze towards the disguised Fujiko? I didn't see anything else. If so, it seems overblown, but then again, so have a lot of Toonami's ratings in the recent past.

I agree, you do watch Lupin weird. Sherlock's presence definitely feels like a novelty, finally bringing the famous detective into the same universe as Japan's favorite French master thief. I don't mind Lily's inclusion - just because she has a school uniform on it doesn't mean she's automatically Japanese - and I'm beyond interested in exactly how she knows Lupin and why she had a PTSD fit upon seeing him.

Hey, Fujiko's sex appeal is not to be taken lightly! My personal theory behind the S descriptor is Turner S&P making up for lost time by using the one they had leftover from their ratings for Part 5. But hey, at least the overblown ratings for Lupin are way better than the underblown ratings they're giving One Piece. No way the episode where Hachi took several arrows to the back was deserving of a TV-Y7FV, and even then I have to question who neglected to change that placeholder rating into something more reasonable.

PokeNirvash · April 30, 2022

The end of the beginning, and the beginning of the end. At least, that's what the fearmongers who think they're being "realistic" will say.

12:00 - Shenmue the Animation #13 - Shenmue - TV-14LV
12:30 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #28 - The Dawn of Humanity - TV-14LV
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #41 - Outer Space Time - TV-14V
1:30 - Lupin the 3rd: Part 6 #2 - Detective and Crook - TV-14LV
2:00 - One Piece #545 - Shaking Fish-Man Island! A Celestial Dragon Drifts In! - TV-PG
2:30 - One Piece #546 - A Sudden Tragedy! A Gunshot Shuts Down the Future! - TV-PG
3:00 - Naruto Shippuden #387 - The Promise That Was Kept - TV-PG
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #25 - The Real Folk Blues, Part 1 - TV-14V

EmpressAngel · May 1, 2022

Gotta be honest, I'm mostly happy to get to go to bed an hour earlier.

Shenmue- Good fucking luck, Ryo. You can go ahead and drop Wong off the roof. Ryo gets clapped in 3...2...1... Well the important thing is you tried. Thanks, old man. Lan Di is really cool. Ryo/Reni s very clearly the real OTP for this show. Dang Ryo you kinda suck at fighting now. False alarm, I assume someone just unplugged the game controller for a couple minutes. Eat shit, fat dude. Last chance to bang discount Nami. Oh hey, an explanation. I forgot about the mirror. Aw hell are we gonna have to buy the DLC for the rest of the story? Nothing ever actually happened with that girl who speaks in cryptic riddles, did it? Poor Joy never got laid. Here, have this bit of trash my cat barfed up. Wait is her brother not dead? Wait is Nami's dad not dead? Bananas, yo. I hope Ren goes with him. GOAT. Oh hey, she did a thing. I don't care who has to die, you save that goat. Ohhh, so that's where the name comes from. Ryo it's been like months by this point I'm pretty sure you can take that bandaid off your face now. Does your father just live down in that mine shaft? Sorry dad, Ryo's not gonna fuck your daughter. I'll have forgotten everything about this series long before another season ever comes out.

Titan- Mikasa needs a hug. Nice hat. Mikasa that is a very good question. Nice hats for everyone! SASHA! Levi looks good in a nice suit. Haa, they don't know what cars are. Okay that carrot line cracked me up. Goddamn pickpocket child. ice cream! God I love Sasha so much. That's also how I react any time I make ice cream. Levi's about to murder the molestation clown. Oh no leave the kid alone. I goddamn love Levi. CHEESE IT. Ungrateful little bastard. Oh yeah I'm sure this plan of yours is gonna go just great. Goddammit Eren. Look we all dudes we're into that we can't explain and are deeply ashamed of ourselves over. Hi there, random old guy. Hey, you've made a friend! Getting drunk as shit is really the common thread that unites all of us as humans. This speech is not gonna end well for anybody. Oh hey, an explanation for that. Fuck you, Eren. Oh right, wasn't Historia knocked up? Gee Eren it sure is weird how no decent person is on board with this plan. I hope Levi gets to kill Zeke next season. MY LEG. Your brilliant plan to help your friends got Sasha killed, you dumb basatard. Shit is well and truly going down now. Jesus christ he looks terrifying. WHELP.

Ass Class- We're hijackinga rocket, kiddos. Senku approves of this message. Aww, techno boy is a good boy. I love Karma. Just casually breaking into NASA, no big deal. This is where they do the science! Well look at that, Vocaloid girl finally does something I can appreciate. That sure is a totally inconspicuous squid monster. Good luck boys you're gonna need it. Koro-sensei is the best teacher. There he go. I'm just assuming everything in this episode is factually sound. SPACE HIJACKING! Imagine being the astronauts who have to explain later that they've been held hostage by some middle school kids on the fucking space station. Ohhh a bomb, they're so scared. Aww they're good dudes. Wheeeeee! Surprise, the bomb was fake. This feels like it went too well. Vocaloid girl is evolving! The kids sure got into a lot of shenanigans while the teachers were off fucking. New plan, dope him up with that magic drug asap. That is surprisingly convenient.

Lupin- Lupin why are you giving that little girl severe PTSD? You'd think at some point they'd just stop sending pops out after him. Give us the exposition dump, my good man! Caw caw motherfuckers. Fujiko/treasure is my OTP. I can't stop staring at Fujiko's tits. Called it, Watson's dead. Ohh, she's Watson's kid. Gee I'm sure that completely dark room with no lights isn't ominous at all. Get that woman her treasure immediately, goddammit. Hey there, Sherlock. Wow what a fucking nerd. Yeah yeah we get it, Sherlock is a perfect counter to the entire group and they can't beat him on their own. TITS. Damn he even seduced Fujiko that's impressive. Dude he's just trying to take care of his dead boyfriend's kid. Oh hey pops. Oh bye pops. Lily's having a rough time. I like that Lupin's friend from the other series has just become a recurring part of the franchise.

One Piece- I am old and tired and my brain is scrambled eggs. I love Uncle Fish and humans are the worst.

PokeNirvash · May 7, 2022

To celebrate our (temporary) return to light-hearted assassination times, here's a one--time stint as the block-opener.

12:00 - Assassination Classroom #42 - Valentine's Day Time - TV-14
12:30 - Lupin the 3rd: Part 6 #3 - Adventure Along the (Bogus) Transcontinental Railroad - TV-14
1:00 - One Piece #547 - Back to the Present! Hordy Makes a Move! - TV-PG
1:30 - One Piece #548 - The Kingdom in Shock! An Order to Execute Neptune Issued! - TV-PG
2:00 - Naruto Shippuden #388 - My First Friend - TV-PG
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #389 - The Adored Elder Sister - TV-PG
3:00 - Shenmue the Animation #1 - Thunderclap - TV-14V
3:30 - Cowboy Bebop #26 - The Real Folk Blues, Part 2 - TV-14V

EmpressAngel · May 8, 2022

My tired ass getting to sleep an hour earlier is the greatest gift of all.

Ass Class- CHRISTMAS! This squid is a mood. Karma's here for VENGEANCE. Nagisa's gonna be the best little assassin. Is that the one orphan brat? Or a teacher, teacher works too. Koro-sensei is the best. Happy Valentines! Awww, she's adorable. Oh they're all pairing up now. I like the gun kids respecting each other. That creepy girl cracks me up. Goddammit squid! You can do it, girl! That one boy is desperate. Awwwwwww. Koro goddammit you're going to ruin everything! "I love it when he's in murder mode!" Oh my god just spit it out. Oh that hurts, show. GET IT KARASUMA. OH my god just fuck already. Ohhh I don't like the vibes here. Just let him jack off to his dead girlfriend, ya douche. Why do we still let this asshole be in charge? Did...did he get him chocolate? The world does indeed suck, I wouldn't mind it ending either. The end of this show is gonna break me no matter what. Stop pissing her off and just date her! Awwwwwww he likes her. OH THEY FUCKIN.

Lupin- IT'S LOTS AND LOTS OF TRAINS! Nobody who loves their kid names it Manfred. Ah hell they're the Hardy Boys. Hiiii Fujiko. GOD I'M GAY. "If I described your type, it'd be 'breathing' " killed me. Sweet, costume party. I wanna see that elephant on a train. Sorry dude your nephews are dumb as fuck. Is that guy wearing a fake mustache over his real mustache? My god these boys are horny. The hyper realistic mask thing never stops amusing me. You can't fool me Tony Oliver I know that's you. MAID FUJIKO, THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Mustaches everywhere. Hi Lupin! Oh no is Fujiko okay? God I love her. Oh big deal like this is the first time they've been cornered by a bunch of goons. Please tell me she teams up with the elephant. NOT NOW, POPS. Y'all know you could just shoot someone to kill them instead of doing some elaborate train shit. Oh my god he's on a pony. Awww the little girl's helping. I can't believe these two dimwits are gonna save the day. These are the weirdest vehicles in the show yet. This is exactly what traveling is like in the Rocky Mountains. This episode is cracking me up. Get her off the tracks, dumbass. Nooo not her hair! Jigen's about to shoot these kids. He's so fucking cool. That robot is trying his best. BEAT HIS ASS, ELEFUN. I choose to believe he's asking the elephant for a statement. God I wish that were me.

One Piece- Last time, crippling depression. Uncle Fish needs a hug. This random human schmuck definitely did it and was totally not set up as a red herring. Fucking Hordy, always terrible. Everyone needs a hug. Neptune's having a real rough time. I'm definitely not crying here. Decken is the fucking worst. Awww, the kids. Their family got a running start on quarantining away from the population and doing video conferences. Shut the fuck up, Sanji. Nami is the best. Awww everyone's crying. I forgot Franky was here. And then Luffy died. Goddammit Luffy. Awwww, the girls are friends. Oh right, there's a violent coup happening in the palace. That is one big snail. Aw fuck.

Y'all are fish some of you could just float over the picture. Fuck you, Hordy. Oh right, they all got into a huge fight with everybody in the palace. Oh hey Roger. You diiiiiiiiiick. Hordy fucking sucks. Hey, you give my skeleton back and also the others! Zoro is either too drunk or too sober for this. Oh yeah, just leave them trapped in a room with plans to kill them slowly in a thematically appropriate way, that always goes well. Everyone disliked that. Brook is a delight. Well we know Usopp's nose can't be used as a magic wand. I goddamn love Brook. He's having a good time. Usopp with the Robin eyes is unnerving. Meanwhile, oh shit she found the thing. SURELY this Joy Boy fellow won't ever be important to the story in the future, no siree. You know Luffy's not gonna think about this. Shirahoshi is a good kid. Uh bro I don't think she knows about that. Chopper you're not even a human! Uncle Fish it's time for a teamup. ACE I MISS YOU. Aw hell we're gonna have a friend fight aren't we.

PokeNirvash · May 14, 2022

I wonder if Genndy would be seething about this as badly now as when it premiered...

12:00 - Primal #1 - Spear and Fang - TV-14V
12:30 - Assassination Classroom #43 - Trust Time - TV-14L
1:00 - Lupin the 3rd: Part 6 #4 - The Killers in the Diner - TV-14LV
1:30 - One Piece #549 - A Rift Opens Up! Luffy vs. Jimbei! - TV-PG
2:00 - One Piece #550 - Something Has Happened to Hordy! The True Power of the Evil Drug! - TV-PGL
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #390 - Hanabi's Decision - TV-PG
3:00 - Shenmue the Animation #2 - Daybreak - TV-14LV
3:30 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #17 - Judgement - TV-MA

If he had just allowed Toonami to premiere Primal from the get-go, I wouldn't have had to spend literal months finishing season 1.

EmpressAngel · May 15, 2022

Fishman Island: Your weekly reminder that drugs are bad, kids.

Ass Class- Good job kids I'm proud of all of you. Awww, that's nice of him. I love this squid so much. I'm sorry what was that last one? And then he was a cat. Okay the random cowboy moment cracked me up. Ten times a day, good lord. They're married now. YO HO HO HE TOOK A BITE OF SQUID SQUID. I always forget this little orphan girl exists. He ships it. Oh no what is this. YOU BETRAYED US. Dude you could have at least waited for him to finish the yearbook. Fuck all of you. Oh thank god, he's still alive. He's having a rough night. Okay so we got a week to save him from the magic squid net. You guys should probably just let Karma do all the talking here, he's the smart one of your class. Kids you're assassins, at least one of you should be able to sneak in and off him. Koro-sensei would want you to bring him snacks and porn. Could you not just hook up the vocaloid girl for company? Awwwww squid. You're right kids the news is, in fact, redonk. AWWWWWWWWWWW he's still working on the yearbook.

Lupin- Oh no what is this. This waitress has seen some shit. I respect a woman who gives absolutely zero fucks. Well it's good that he likes her, I guess. I have no idea what's going on here. Sorry our food sucks. Ohhh that guy's definitely delivering a gun. Lady I've seen enough Tarantino movies to know you need to get the hell out of there right now. Okay which of these dudes is Lupin wearing a hyper realistic mask? Girl you should probably duck now. They used different voices othis time, that's cheating! Oh hey, the real waitress. Hiiiiii Fujiko. Uhh is this guy okay? Honestly she could shoot me and I'd thank her for it. This is more than I ever wanted to know about Earnest Hemingway. All I knew about Dulles before now was that I once got stuck in a five-hour layover in the airport named after him and that's alone is enough to earn my hatred. Awww she didn't shoot him that's nice of her. It's okay Fuji I won't make you cook.

One Piece- Guys do we really have time for you to have a dramatic friend fight right now? I goddamn love Brook. Uhh hey Brook whatcha doing? BONE BONE BONE BONE BONE BONE BONE BONE. Oh, that's new. He's the best. Oh goddammit Brook. Luffy your friends are gonna be dead by the time you get there. Ooh, fishman karate's cool. He said the Gandalf thing! Guys could you not just have Luffy go save his crew and Uncle Fish go save Neptune? Oh hey Robin. Could she always just straight up clone herself? Meanwhile, don't fuck with Fukaboshi. Neptune is having none of your shit today. Remember kids, don't do drugs. Yeah you could find the keys but giving Zoro a sword is so much cooler. That poor starfish is having a rough day. BROOK NO. Goddammit Brook. Look I agree that humans are goddamn terrible but Arlong was a total bag of smashed assholes. Hachi's a good boy. Everybody needs a hug. GODDAMMIT SANJI.

Remember kids, don't do drugs! Not the candy factory! Can we put a muzzle on that thing? Joke's on you Hordy's fucking crazy. I kinda love this guy's verbal tic. Drugs are bad! Meanwhile that guy is drunk as fuuuuuck. Never trust a violent drunk. That was a nice building you jackass! Meanwhile, Evil Zoidberg is here to ruin your day. I'm with him, roaches are the worst. He'll tell you when he's had enough drugs! Guys just send Chopper he's not even a human. Man that seabear is cracked out of his mind. Okay the blood-suckign squid spear is kinda fucked up. DRUGS ARE BAD, Y'ALL. Ohhh that ain't right. Well this can't be good.

PokeNirvash · May 21, 2022

Nothing today. [sigh] We truly are entering another ACTN Dark Age, aren't we?

12:00 - Primal #2 - River of Snakes - TV-14V
12:30 - Assassination Classroom #44 - Happy Birthday Time - TV-14
1:00 - Lupin the 3rd: Part 6 #5 - The Imperial City Dreams of Thieves, Part 1 - TV-14L
1:30 - One Piece #551 - The Battle is On! At Conchcorde Plaza! - TV-PG
2:00 - One Piece #552 - A Surprising Confession! The Truth Behind the Assassination of Otohime! - TV-PG
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #391 - Madara Uchiha Rises - TV-PG
3:00 - Shenmue the Animation #3 - Yin-Yang - TV-14L
3:30 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #18 - Sneak Attack - TV-14LV

EmpressAngel · May 22, 2022

I'm just that one guy getting absolutely blitzed on the deck of the Titanic as it sinks.

Ass Class- Good luck kids I believe in you. Imagine how much trouble you'd be in as a government agent getting your ass kicked by a gaggle of middle schoolers. Oh they've got a machine gun, is that all? No matter how this show ends at least Karasuma is getting laid like a madman. Tasers, motherfucker! Sorry kids the important thing is that you tried. I'm surprised so many of them made it to that squid. They're good kids. Well I'm already crying. This sucks, my dudes. I'm also in the "pervert but not dangerous" squad. Final lesson kiddos, life sucks and then you die. Always try crossdressing and making out with lunatics, got it. Someone hug that octopus. Awwwww she brought him cake. Do we even have the rights to this song? No not the cake! NOT THIS ASSHOLE AGAIN. NOT THIS OTHER ASSHOLE AGAIN! This is awful. So this dude was always an evil little fucker. Human Murder Koro is doing things for me. Man why would you dickholes make another tentacle monster. "Tentacles fueled by pure hatred" is the most threatening phrase I've ever heard. Oh no now he's gonna die defeating this douchebag and saving the kids. I'd like to get off this ride now. "Fertile ground for tentacle implantation" immediately beats out the previous worst phrase I've ever heard.

Lupin- What's with the cape? Aw hell we fell into an alternate universe. Hiiiii Fujiko. Oh hey, sweet tattoo. Black Lizard is a stupid name but baby I'll call you whatever you want. I VOLUNTEER TO JOIN UP WITH FUJI. Who the fuck is this guy? God I'm gay. Oh hey Jigen. Wow this dude's a douchebag. Hate to break it to you but this girl is about to get dragged into this mess. She seems nice, I don't trust her. It's not just a clock, it's a funky magic clock. Cool, it comes with a bonus knife girl. Not this asshole again! I like her she's feisty. I hope the knife girl is alternate universe Goemon. Plot twist, it's a fake! Plot twist, the fake's a fake! They're lesbians. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Fujiko! Oh no somebody's girlfriend is about to get kidnapped. Hey there Lupin. Dangit it's regular Goemon instead of cute lesbian Goemon.

One Piece- Here's your weekly reminder not to do drugs, kids. Hordy, still the fucking worst. This could be going better. Didn't see this coming did you, shark wife? Why is Decken allowed to exist. Jesus christ dude why are you like this. I like that they're using those tiny litte rifles to threaten a man the size of a goddamn building. SEABEAR NO. Guys it's just a fence you can get past it. Uncle Fish the king's gonna be dead by the time you get there. The Strawhats are inside the shark aren't they. I can't figure out what small animal Hordy skinned to make that scarf. Well this guy is about to waste his life for nothing. Fuck these corals in particular. Girls you might wanna duck. Oh hey the dudes are here. Sorry seabear. This is going too well, it's time to get their asses beat. Fuck you, evil Zoidberg.

This is totes not a trap. Our girl is kinda dumb as fuck. Well this sure went straight to hell in a hurry didn't it. Yeah sweetie this was your fault. Psh, only 30,000? Okay 100,000i might give the gang a run for their money. Hordy, yet again the fucking worst. Hey there shark wife. Lady they're gonna fucking shoot you if you don't stop talking. Snitches get stitches and all that. Arlong, the original fishman piece of shit. Oh wow, I'm so surprised he was the murderer all along. IT WAS ME, I KILLED MUFASA. Y'know what just go ahead, let her scream and call the sea monsters. Meanwhile, aw hell what's this creepy fucker up to now? Ohhhhhh that can't be good. Cheese it! He's the fucking worst.

PokeNirvash · May 28, 2022

UNPOPULAR ONE PIECE OPINION OF THE MOMENT: I disliked Hordy less when he didn't have one of those custom laughs. In fact, most of them seem a little forced to me...

12:00 - Primal #3 - A Cold Death - TV-14V
12:30 - Assassination Classroom #45 - Final Boss Time - TV-14LV
1:00 - Lupin the 3rd: Part 6 #6 - The Imperial City Dreams of Thieves, Part 2 - TV-14V
1:30 - One Piece #553 - Shirahoshi's Tears! Luffy Finally Shows Up! - TV-PG
2:00 - One Piece #554 - A Big Clash! The Straw Hats vs. A Hundred Thousand Enemies! - TV-PG
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #392 - The Hidden Heart - TV-PGL
3:00 - Shenmue the Animation #4 - Shackles - TV-14LV
3:30 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #19 - Two Brothers - TV-MA

Edited May 28, 2022 by PokeNirvash

EmpressAngel · May 29, 2022

That's fair, the custom laughs are pretty hit or miss depending on the character.

Ass Class- Fucking murder Dandy is here to ruin everything. Ohhh this is not going well. Man this kid got fucked up real bad. I love this squid so much. Evil Tatum is the woooorst. No, no he is not alright. This hurts me to watch. SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE. You douchebag! Aaaand I'm crying. Dude this entire thing was your fault for being a weird science asshole. Good girl! At least one of these kids is trying to help. Fuuuuuuuuuck. Never say the words "backup wife" again, please. KILL THAT DOUCHE. Man this is really not going well. Y'all might wanna get her to a doctor right the hell now, kids. Please don't kill my favorite squid. Now he's a disco ball. I'm glad murder Dandy is finally dead. This flashback hurts. Senpai finally noticed you. Koro-sensei needs a hug. Aww he's gonna save her with magic squid powers. Is that a Dragon Ball? WE NEED CAKE, STAT. Awwww, he's the best. However this show ends is gonna destroy me.

Lupin- Still slightly disappointed Goemon's not the cute knife lesbian. Hiiii Fujiko. God I love her. Fuck you, window! Parachute, bitches! Hi there, random dude. Goemon you probably shouldn't have left the girls alone without a guard. That driver's definitely evil and going to kidnap them. It's fine, Lupin's got custody of the braincells this week. I like this other detective guy he's cute. Boys don't fight you're supposed to be best friends. Aw crap they killed each other. They're only gonna need the one bed, kidnappers. Fuck you, nice old man! Oh hey, the cute guy. Hi Lupin! Surprise twins? Wait then what happened to the nice old man? Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Fujiko! What the hell is that. This seems like an unnecessarily elaborate trap. Maybe don't touch that evil control panel. Lupin if you screw up and get them all killed Fuji's never gonna forgive you. Hi Goemon, again. I don't know what's going on but I'm rooting for these lesbians. WHAT. YOU OWE ME LESBIANS, SHOW. Hi Jigen, again. What the hell is going on here????? I'm not gonna ask questions I'm just disappointed I missed out on lesbians.

One Piece- Hordy, still the fucking worst. Of course she knew, you're a douchebag and you reek of evil murder stank. Megalo could you not have told the king about his wife's murder at some point? No shit they'd hold a grudge, he shot somebody! Shirahoshi an innocent man got killed in revenge over that. It's fine, I hate him enough for everyone. He's got a point, keeping that a secret was dumb as hell. Great job now your dad's dead too. Girl now would be a great time to start screaming for the sea monsters. I'm with the kids, bring in the funny hat boy. Any time now, Luffy. Oh my god has he just been inside the shark this entire time. Sushi's on the menu today, folks! Oh my god are they all in the shark. Nami and Fujiko would be good friends. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaale! Oh good, they rescued Zoro's group from the castle. Shut up, random citizens. God I love a good team pose.

Are y'all sure that's the Strawhats because we had some confusion about that earlier in this arc. Uncle Fish you should know by now that recklessly is the only way Luffy faces enemies. Heroes have to share their meat. Megalo's been having a rough time in this arc. Jimbei's explaining this flashback like an episode of Legends of the Hidden Temple. Brook I swear to fucking god you're gonna die here. They're all idiots and I love them. Brook cracks me right the hell up. And then Zoro destroyed the entire damn palace for shits and giggles. Shirahoshi is so adorable. Call me a coward because my hate in infinite. No she's right, she di dd cause everyone a massive amount of trouble by keeping her mom's murderer a secret. Oh right, Hordy's still here. Remember kids, don't do drugs. Arlong fucking sucked, dude. Luffy, not giving a shit about this dramatic villain monologue. 10,000 to 1 seems like decent odds. BAM. Sweet there goes half your problem.

PokeNirvash · June 4, 2022

Of all the things to have "sexy results", I can't say I was expecting the Ass Class finale (penultimate) to be one of them.

12:00 - Primal #4 - Terror Under the Blood Moon - TV-14V
12:30 - Assassination Classroom #46 - Graduation Time - TV-14SV
1:00 - Lupin the 3rd: Part 6 #7 - An Untold Tale - TV-14V
1:30 - One Piece #555 - Deadly Attacks One After Another! Zoro and Sanji Join the Fight! - TV-PGL
2:00 - One Piece #556 - Unveiled! The Secret Weapons of the Sunny! - TV-PG
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #393 - A True Ending - TV-PGV
3:00 - Shenmue the Animation #5 - Equal - TV-14LV
3:30 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #20 - Memories of the Future - TV-14LV

Trunks Thread 19.1: A New New Frontier

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