Trunks Thread 19.1: A New New Frontier

[EmpressAngel]

I can't hate Cabbage, he's just as much of a hilarious dipshit as everyone else around Luffy.

Ninja- They do everything for peace, says the gang of child-murdering ninjas. This show asks the deep philosophical question of whether a man still counts as a dilf if he's been rendered childless via violent ninja murder. Kitties! Oh no he used the forbidden jutsu. I'm always up for some good revenge fightin' so I'm cool with this. Stab him in the dick. This is some mid-2000's edgelord dialogue but he's hot so I'll allow it. Oh this guy's about to retire, he's definitely about to fucking die. This lady's haircut is so awful. Sir you take that baggy hoodie off right now before I lose interest. Oh boy, time to watch some small-town douchebag cops get their shit kicked in. Fuck it, I'll be your new wife. I find this cop lady deeply irritating. Well this omnipotent technology company sure doesn't sound shady and ominous as all fuck. Yeah so fun story about his face, buddy. Cop dude you are about to get murdered. Uh I don't think that's the Doordash guy. Surprise, he's hotter now. Fuck you and your extra arms, buddy. JOE used FLAMETHROWER, it's super effective! Oh that old restaurant guy is gonna be pissed. My stream shit out after the building exploded so I have no idea if anything happened after that.

Demon Slayer- I would let this bitch kill me. Try not to chuck your sword uselessly at the demon, kiddo. This is also how I react when I hope a hot man's about to show up. Sorry random schmuck, you're gonna die. Well Tanjiro you may have sucked and failed but the important thing is you tried. What inside, there's no walls left. Hey, garbage dilf! I could fix him. Tanjiro may be bad at his job but he's a sweet boy. Was his dad a hashira, did we know that? I want Inosuke to befriend the muscle mice. I'll get on my knees for you, baby. The women have spoken, go to work. Being a demon is great, you eat for free and don't have to wear pants. It's a crime to call Tanjiro hideous when Zenitsu is just around the corner. It's fine, his organs will explode later. There he go. And then Tanjiro died. Nezuko time! You got this, sweetie! Uhhh Nezuko may not got this. BEAT HER ASS. Nezuko honey put some clothes on. Is this like some kind of hornier version of that time Gon turned into an adult?

Licorice- Yeah it sure is suspiciously lucky that the empty train crashed in a completely empty station, nothing weird about that. You still wearing boy's underpants? Well that's depressing, y'all are on a Make a Wish request. I don't trust Steven Hawking here. Huh, cyborg heart. Y'know what I can't even snark at this, it's genuinely sweet. Meanwhile, surprise the train got hit by guns. Cheese it, it's the feds! I have no memory of these cops being in the series before. Surely this won't be plot-relevant later. Chisato the man is dying there ain't gonna be a second trip. Uh shouldn't at least one of you be guarding him inside the boat? Lesbians. Silent Gene has to be the funniest name for a hitman I've ever heard. Hey you shot my robot.Hey don't kick the hot lady. Aim for his dick! Hot lady to the rescue. His coat may be bulletproof but dicks rarely are. How the fuck do you lose track of an immobile old man in a wheelchair? Get out of the open, idiots! This old man's final request is violent revenge and I support that. Hot lady is having a rough day. Grandpa, shutting himself off life support when he can't commit vicarious murder. Well that's a weird twist. The fuck is your deal, bro. I know this is supposed to be serious but watching that random girl get nailed by a car with zero warning made me laugh. Just fuck already.

One Piece- I miss Vivi. Throw that lady off your boat before she forces you into another art exhibit. Brook might be my favorite Strawhat and that's impressive when his competition is both Nami's and Zoro's tits. Why would you make them take Caesar, that's such a mean thing to do to them. Yeah sure lady just go ahead and run your mouth here. Thank you, Momo. Meanwhile, tournament arc continues. I'm rooting for that random lion. Okay so it's not just Rebecca, I guess all the lady gladiators have to wear the ridiculous chainmail bra. Cabbage is doing surprisingly well here. Oh no we've got a fight between two Handsome Squidwards. You fool, only Cavendish is allowed to be that much of an attention whore. The fangirls are losing their minds. I like that all the gladiators are rooting for Rebecca. Now, back to the thrilling adventures of Law Regrets Everything. I didn't know you could just get kicked out of the Douchebag 1% Rich Asshole Club. Fujitora, still a good dude. Go ahead and crush that heart to double-check if it's Caesar's. Well RIP that random schmuck. I like that Law made sure to take his hat with him when he warped. Oh right, the murder fish are here too. Quick, feed the hag to the fish! Law it's really cute that you think any plan with the Strawhats is gonna work. And right on schedule, the plan fucks up. Quick, throw the fat lady at him and run! Hey look, Sanji's helping instead of being cringe!

[PokeNirvash]

On 2/18/2024 at 2:02 AM, EmpressAngel said:

I have no memory of these cops being in the series before.

Well, the old guy isn't wearing his tacky orange trenchcoat, so that probably had a little something to do with it.

12:00 - Ninja Kamui (Dubbed) #3 - Episode 3 - TV-MAV
12:30 - Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba: Entertainment District Arc #7 - Transformation - TV-MAV
1:00 - Lycoris Recoil #6 - Opposites attract - TV-14DLV
1:30 - One Piece #655 - A Big Clash! Sanji vs. Doflamingo! - TV-PGV
2:00 - Naruto Shippuden #478 - Unison Sign (2) - TV-PGLV
2:30 - Dragon Ball Z Kai #1 - Prologue to Battle! The Return of Goku! - TV-PGLV
3:00 - Ninja Kamui (Subbed) #3 - Episode 3 - TV-MAV

I know, it's "The Unison Sign", but I've been sitting on that parenthetical for years, just let me have this.

[EmpressAngel]

Yeah, I would absolutely be fooled by the Superman just puts on glasses trick.

Ninja- And then these guys were murdered, crashed and exploded. I could go for some steak. This weirdo's got one hell of a murder-boner and I can respect that. He's got some real Hisoka-style horny violence vibe. Look I get that he's wearing a mask but the muffled voice thing does make it harder to understand. Man it's gonna suck when this old cop guy gets violently murdered 20 minutes before retirement. Meanwhile, PTSD's a hell of a drug. NO NOT THE DUCK. Ninjas, not even once. This isn't whiskey, this is stale, warm Red Bull. I am now emotionally attached to that duck and am rooting for its safety above all else. And now an interlude for a tacky romance movie. People who care constantly late, I need you to know that those of us who are on time hate you with every fiber of our beings. I'm sure this shady tech monopoly here is a fine and upstanding company. Fucking techbros. And then sword. Quit blowing holes in my car! Truck-kun strikes again. Maybe that guy can get isekai'd into a fantasy realm where good cops aren't killed right before retirement. I can't say the plot of this show is really grabbing me but damn if the fights don't make up for it. Oh you know the creep is gonna be jacking off to this video later.

Demon Slayer- I'm glad Nezuko finally gets to do something but not happy that she had to turn into a thirst trap to do it. Nezuko can be a little unhinged, as a treat. Meanwhile, Tanjiro's really going through it today. You're doing amazing, sweetie. I support my berserker murder daughter with all my heart. Look if this lady is dumb enough to stand there bleeding right next to a demon fight then maybe she deserves to get eaten. Nezuko honey put on some clothes. Tanjiro let her go kill the hot murder bitch. Hey, new husband. My dude she's like 14. Oh damn that was quick. And now, Inosuke time. Oh good Zenitsu's still asleep, he'll be tolerable now. Sorry Tanjiro you're gonna have to go take your sister out back and give her the Ol Yeller special. I'll also have a mental breakdown if I think too hard about my dead mom. So why can't Nezuko talk? Put her back in her box, she's done enough. Stab her in the tits and go. Bitch why won't you die. Wait what. Well this got weird. Ah hell am I gonna get this one killed too. Oh don't let this guy know how many women you're railing in your free time. Tanjiro just stay back, let my feral hog son handle this. "I'm hot and get sucked off three times a day" is probably not the smartest thing to tell the incel demon. Hey you have four wives now, don't forget about me. Start carving up the tombstone for this one now.

Licorice- I'm still not entirely convinced that hideous man is actually a woman. Will you two just kiss already. Wait, do they not just live at the cafe? Her pajamas are really cute. Oh y'all can rock paper Scissor alright. I could go for some watermelon. No one likes you, robot douche. And now, nerds. Oh that's nasty. Oh yeah breaking into the trained killer orphan hideout is going to go just great for you guys. My window! Y'know it never occurred to me that there might be a boy version of the super orphan task force too. Of course she's not interested in boys, this is the super teenage lesbian show. MY DOOR. Kill that douchebot and save yourself some trouble. Well you're all wearing the same uniform it's not that hard to spot you. They'll never recognize you dressed as a giant marshmallow peep. My door, again! This is all your faut. furry loli. Tonight's theme is getting hit by trucks. POCKET SAND GUN. Did she shoot his eyes out? This is not going well. I'm a simple woman, I hear someone yell out MY LEG like the fish from Spongebob and I laugh. Lesbian rescue, go! Boobs Mcgee is a good getaway driver. Drone to the face, motherfucker! We gotta turn furry loli into the cops now. Douchebot's door getting kicked in is a running joke I can get behind. Oh no, he's got a crush on her. Kiss each other on the mouth already.

One Piece- No offense to Sanji but I have very little faith in him not getting his ass beat. And then he got his ass beat. Wel lbuddy the important thing is you tried. Can we just throw this lady off the boat already. Law used LOG, it's super effective! You can just throw Caesar overboard. Now cheese it! What factory? No don't take Caesar with you. I'm sure this Zou place won't be significant. Yes the loyalty is admirable but you should probably just run while you have the chance. Oh right, Fujitora's still here. Use Caesar and the fat lady as meat shields. Thanks Law. Fujitora is a good dude. I can't believe we were betrayed by clouds. Use her immense fat to protect yourself from attacks. Meanwhile, Barto's having the best day ever. Fanboy that's nice but we're kinda looking for actual answers here. The strongest force in this series is whatever double-sided tape Rebecca is using to keep that bikini in place. I'm here for the wholesome gladiator buddies. I'm not sure what she just did but good job. Guys you don't understand Usopp's committed some pretty serius identity theft and needs to flee immediately. Thank god Law has a hostage or else that man would be fucked. It's really sweet that he has so much faith in our idiot crew. Yeah I'm sure this alliance is ending soon and isn't gonna last another decade. Ooooh I sense a tragic flashback ahead.

Edited February 25 by EmpressAngel

[PokeNirvash]

It's the end of an era... if you think the light novels don't count, that is.

12:00 - Ninja Kamui (Dubbed) #4 - Episode 4 - TV-MAV
12:30 - Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba: Entertainment District Arc #8 - Gathering - TV-MAV
1:00 - Lycoris Recoil #7 - Time will tell - TV-14DLV
1:30 - One Piece #656 - Rebecca's Special Attack! Last-Ditch Sword Dance! - TV-PGV
2:00 - Naruto Shippuden #479 - Naruto Uzumaki! - TV-PGV
2:30 - Dragon Ball Z Kai #2 - The Enemy is Goku's Brother?! The Secret of the Mighty Saiyan Warriors! - TV-PGLV
3:00 - Ninja Kamui (Subbed) #4 - Episode 4 - TV-MAV

[EmpressAngel]

Honestly I'm surprised they even let Naruto end at all and it hasn't continued as increasingly-irrelevant filler to this day.

Ninja- Never trust a douchebag with a voice changer. The phrase "ninja poem" is unreasonably funny to me. Who ordered the tragic backstory? Well hey, these two can bond over the sad dead kids thing. Ah yes the Dark Web where every page is decorated with a huge DARK WEB banner at the top. This girl with terrible hair annoys me. No offense but it sounds like your wife was kind of a shitty ninja. Meanwhile at Facebook headquarters, whatever the fuck this is. I respect this dude doing his hair in the middle of the evil villain meeting. Someone please kill that weird horny man. No don't choke him, you're only making him harder. It's murderin' time. Really, she just kept the ninja name she got from the murder cult they escaped from? No wonder they got found out. I dunno guys, this sure seems like an emotional connection you're forming with each other. And then they fucked. Third wheel incoming. Oh, it's that one guy. This cop is absolutely getting the shit murdered out of him the day before retirement. Oh sure, five seconds is plenty of time to do shit. You're looking for the most generic white man I've ever seen. Parkour! Great job, you blew it. I'm sure this will be a happy reunion between friends.

Demon Slayer- I wish Nezuko got to be in the show. Oh right, the incel demon is here. Goddamn he's hot. I miss my other boyfriend. Your brother looks like a douchebag. He took the radical move of not treating his wives like shit. Ah hell he's dying. It's weird how this bitch went from a massive threat to a pathetic whiny brat. HOG SON, GO. Remember to use Zenitsu as a meat shield. Tanjiro half your organs are ruined just sit this one out. Lady you're dying, you also sit this one out. Good job Tanjiro you can count to two. He can be as obnoxious as he wants when his biceps are bigger than my head. For the love of god nobody wake up Zenitsu. She does have a point there, he is ugly as all fuck. Big deal you've got a hideous third eye now, I'm shaking in my boots. Tanjiro honey you kind of suck at this. Just let me fuck him once before he's violently murdered defending the kids. Kiddo if you break another sword I'm pretty sure you're fired. This could be going better. Oh damn, lady showed up somethin' fierce today. Uh babe what was your plan with getting yourself stabbed. MY LEG. Tanjiro don't fuck this up.

Licorice- I hate these other lesbians. As weeb-tastic as that drawing is, it's not wrong. So does furry loli not have parents and I completely forgot that part or what. But what kind of underpants are you wearing? I hope that man's out getting laid, leave him alone. Y'all can make out any time you want. Tits Mcgee here is a mood. Dude's absolutely sporting one hell of a fight boner right now. I'm fine with that hideous lady getting attacked. Maybe you should give your guard more than just a single bulletproof vest for protection. Oh great it's this bitch again. Now I just feel bad for that one girl who's stuck as her partner. I hope she gets hit by a car next. Her outfit is so pretty. We're just two teen lesbians on a fancy date, nothing weird about that. He looks good in the suit. Everybody in this show is gay. Goddammit girl you're ruining their date. Okay furry loli with the fake ID got me. I didn't know I wanted these two middle aged dudes to make out but for fuck's sake let these two dudes make out. Really should have shot your ex when you had the chance. Get it, Tits Mcgee! There has to be one straight man in this town who will plow Tits Mcgee into next week. Oh right, the plot.

One Piece- I'm sure this Kaido guy won't be important at all later. Don't tease me with it just give me the tragic backstory already. Goddamn Law is hot. Eat fish, douchebag! RIP fish. Don't worry Chopper I'm sure Law will be totally fine in this fight. I love Brook so much. With Zoro's tits all over the place, sometimes I forget that Sanji is also really hot. You okay there, Momo? It's okay kiddo you're just suffering from a metric assload of PTSD here. Uhhh kid if Doflamingo caught him then I'm pretty sure your friend is dead. Aaaaand there goes Hot Mode Sanji. Violet says fuck this TV in particular. I wonder if this man-turned-horse that Violet's riding is enjoying it. Bartolomeo is having the best day of his life. This man is an absolute mood. That is also how I'd react if Zoro yelled at me. He's so happy. Meanwhile meanwhile, oh right there's a fight going on. We call him Rolling Logan because his name is Logan and he rolls people. Maybe if Rebecca wins this match they'll let her have some pants. I really need to know if Soldier's real form is hot. I think it's debatable that she's never wounded anyone when her primary method of fighting is forcing them into the moat where they'll be attacked my murder fish.

[PokeNirvash]

"Heh. More like another day, another nickel..."

12:00 - Ninja Kamui (Dubbed) #5 - Episode 5 - TV-MAV
12:30 - Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba: Entertainment District Arc #9 - Defeating an Upper Rank Demon - TV-MAV
1:00 - Lycoris Recoil #8 - Another day, another dollar - TV-14LV
1:30 - One Piece #657 - The Most Violent Fighter! Logan vs. Rebecca! - TV-PGLV
2:00 - Naruto Shippuden #480 - Naruto and Hinata - TV-PG
2:30 - Dragon Ball Z Kai #3 - A Life or Death Battle! Goku and Piccolo's Desperate Attack! - TV-PGLV
3:00 - Ninja Kamui (Subbed) #5 - Episode 5 - TV-MAV

[EmpressAngel]

Ninja- What a douchebag. Maybe you should treat that girl to a better haircut next time. Is that guy supposed to be Jason Demarco's anime self-insert character? I just wanna have a talk with whoever suggested the weird horny dwarf for this show. Honestly this just feels like how every Twitter meeting probably goes. Joe is hot and normally that would concerned, but I'm betting on him surviving so that they can use him for a sequel. Happy new year! Meanwhile I continue to be very sure that this cop two days before retirement is going to get murdered to all hell. No offense but the list of 60-something year old men who I'd trust with my life includes Joseph Joestar and Monkey D Garp and absolutely not this normal-ass cop dude or my own father. I like to watch him fight. What a shock, the zillion-dollar shady company is in fact corrupt as all fuck. You killed Pacman, you bastards! I'm gonna need y'all to stop cutting away from the hot ninja man slicing people apart. Maybe after this you can get some therapy for that PTSD. Look it's funny when I say weird horny shit but not when this creepy weirdo does it. Oh he's got a real death wish, he's never gonna get to die. Please kill the weird horny dwarf. He's not having a good time here. Honey just stay down and then crawl to a hospital later. Oh yeah I'm real sure that our main character is about to die less than halfway through the series. Surprise, he's a good guy! In all fairness to Demarco, if I were in his shoes I would absolutely pay a show to insert a better-looking anime version of myself into the story but that's because I'm fully aware and supportive of the fact that porn would generate itself into the universe immediately.

Demon Slayer- Somehow this arc really ended up as Invincible Incel vs Ultimate Chad. Seriously do you want a backup wife because I am very much available. The hoes are out here in their nicest formal graveyard lingerie. Oh I'll give you a tongue lashing alright. They're all thirsty and I would fit in perfectly with them. So uh, try not to get stabbed with the blender arms. No not the least obnoxious wife! Oh no he's two days from retirement, his survival odds just dropped like a rock. Tanjiro I'm pretty sure 90% of your organs are ground beef right now, just sit down. And then our good boy died. Remember you can always use Zenitsu as a meat shield. For the love of fuck please do not let Zenitsu wake up at any point. I don't think necks are supposed to do that. The fuck was that? Aren't there two more hoes running around who could be doing something to help? Okay yeah this one is definitely my fault. Lady you're kind of a shitty demon slayer. Inosuke's wall-eyed hog gaze in what's supposed to be a serious moment is unreasonably funny to me. I would follow that feral hog into hell, zero questions asked. Surprise attack, manual chainsaw! Well thank god that's finished-wait what do you mean the arc's not over yet. How the fuck are you still alive? NO NOT MY PIG SON. NOOOO NOT MY HOT BOYFRIEND. Tanjiro you're kind of a really shitty demon slayer.

Licorice- Shut up and go fuck your ex you shady creep. I keep forgetting this show has an actual plot. Bad news we're broke. Girl can't budget for shit. I need her to control my finances next. Fuck you pay me. MY LEG. Now that's how you settle disputes. Oh that looks like shit. Now your'e getting known as the poop dessert cafe. Exploit your furry loli refugee. This girl sure gets a lot of physicals. Just make out alrady. HALLOWEEN. People pay good money for the cute pumpkin witch. No, not the money! Oh sweet we get a dishwasher. That robot slave seems like a bad idea. STONKS. Oh you found out about the poop fetish. Okay I kinda love that robot. Oh right, the show's actual plot. Everyone loves Die Hard. Yippe ki-ya, motherfucker. Bro you think she remembers every douchebag loser with a guy she fights? Oh, that's kinda terrifying. Sweetie the club might not actually be out to save the world. Parkour! Mika needs a hug and a better boyfriend. You're basically married already. Insert obligatory doge meme here. I'm with her, needles are awful. Do not trust that lady. Ah hell. Ohhhh that can't be good.

One Piece- What factory? God I love Barto. Huh, it makes sense that there's a hospital down there. Sorry dude, grandpa's dead. MOOCY! I got a bad feel about this, Scoob. Tonight's theme is fucked up medical exams. Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys. Surprise, Doflamingo is a douchebag. This guy's really embraced the wrestling heel persona. Rebecca's a good kid and I like that she's got two dozen random fighter uncles here. Luffy does not have the attention span for flashbacks. This guy's fine, he doesn't need bones. NO CAPES. Whelp, she's dead. I'm uncomfortable with this. Thanks, lady whose name I forgot! I like this lady she's nice. Well, that lady's dead. Look girl sometimes pacifism just doesn't cut it. Why do you even want that fruit if you're so opposed to the idea of hurting anyone in a fight? Oh right, Cabbage is here. I like him running in place like a Scooby Doo character. Meanwhile, more Barto shenanigans. YESSSS.

[PokeNirvash]

Pour one out for the legend, regardless of whether or not you appreciate his work.

12:00 - Ninja Kamui (Dubbed) #6 - Episode 6 - TV-MAV
12:30 - Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba: Entertainment District Arc #10 - Never Give Up - TV-MAV
1:00 - Lycoris Recoil #9 - What's done is done - TV-14LV
1:30 - Ninja Kamui (Subbed) #6 - Episode 6 - TV-MAV
2:00 - Dragon Ball Z Kai #1 - Prologue to Battle! The Return of Goku! - TV-PGDLV
2:30 - Dragon Ball Z Kai #2 - The Enemy is Goku's Brother?! The Secret of the Mighty Saiyan Warriors! - TV-PGLV
3:00 - Dragon Ball Z Kai #3 - A Life or Death Battle! Goku and Piccolo's Desperate Attack! - TV-PGLV
3:30 - Dragon Ball Z Kai #4 - Run in the Afterlife, Goku! The One Million Mile Snake Way! - TV-PGLV
4:00 - Dragon Ball Z Kai #5 - Wilderness Survival! A Moonlit Night Awakens Gohan! - TV-PGLV
4:30 - Dragon Ball Z Kai #6 - The End of Snake Way! King Kai's Bizarre Test! - TV-PGLV
5:00 - Dragon Ball Z Kai #7 - The Battle With Ten-Times Gravity! Goku's Race Against the Clock! - TV-PGLV
5:30 - Dragon Ball Z Kai #8 - Shenron Appears! The Saiyans Arrive Sooner Than Expected! - TV-PGDLV

[EmpressAngel]

Ninja- Could you take a break from speaking in cryptic riddles for like 20 seconds? Wait you mean you chose to make your hair look like that, lady? I really didn't ask for your life story here. Look I'm willing to watch him die as long as he takes out that horrible dwarf in the process. Cop guy is really going through it. Oh hey, did he survive past his retirement? I feel like you maybe should have figured out the power source thing before you burned the ninja bridge and went on the run. Sorry your wife was such a shitty ninja. Todoroki confirmed to be the best ninja. No that's not a secret hideout it's just our underground weed growing operation. I do respect this guy's commitment to the look. Hey, she said the thing! Well no shit he won't wake up if you stab him in the heart. I didn't remember that was a mystery but sure, guess it's solved now. I hate this fucking guy. You keep the name of dilfs out of your creepy mouth. It's only funny when I'm uncomfortably horny for dilfs and he's infringing on my brand. For fuck's sake somebody kill him already. I need an adult. I feel like this is what Mineta turns into in a very bad future. Whelp, she's dead. Oh dang, the world's shittiest ninja actually did a thing.

Demon Slayer- Previously, I killed everything I love and those hoes are gonna beat my ass. Remember you can always use Zenitsu as a meat shield. Tanjiro you really kinda suck at this whole demon slayer thing. Oh hey, Nezuko gets to talk for a change. This is what, like the fourth innner mind pep talk he's gotten from his family this arc? If Zenitsu dies I'll go ahead and take the L on all the deaths. You can always bond over your weird sisters. OWWWWW. Sounds like somebody's projecting here. Cheese it! Maybe the rest of the hoes can come in and help instead of whatever the fuck they're currently doing. Good job, throw a satchel at him. My back is currently hurting like a motherfucker so I'd take that deal in a heartbeat. Headbutt! Good job kiddo you didn't fuck up for once. Oh come the fuck on with the inner mind pep talk moments. Sometimes a good beheading is the greatest gift of all. Oh good, Zenitsu is unfortunately still alive. I'm fine with him dying for the greater good. False alarm, Tanjiro still sucks at this. MY BOYFRIEND! His tits are too fat to die. He is getting so laid after this fight. Who needs two arms when your dick has its own gravitational pull. Tanjiro do literally anything helpful for a change. OWWWW, again. For the love of all fuck just die already. Ah hell he's going super saiyan. MY FERAL HOG SON! This weird little bastard really dislocated his goddamn heart. Jesus christ fucking finally. Thanks for showing up and doing nothing, hoes. And then everyone died anyways. Inosuke standing in for the boar genuinely made me laugh.

Licorice- I don't like where this is going. Quick, save your girlfriend! Whelp, we're boned. No, go out there and kill that bitch. No more poop snacks for you. Look buddy if you tailgate me I'll kill us both. That's the best way to deal with road rage assholes. Fuck off lady she's literally dying. What are you gonna do, fire her? No not the douchebag lesbians. Give her a break, her girlfriend's dying. Loli just let the sad gay dad have a moment. Sorry your ex is such a festering bag of cocks. Poor kid's got one hell of a case of boneitis. I never noticed he had a fucked up leg. Are y'all gonna make out for me or not. Congratulations, you're a dad now. Tiny Chisato is goddamn adorable. Happy birthday, have a gun. Yeah y'know, one of those helpful guns. I hate this robot shitbag. Awwww she's taking her on a date. Kiss each other on the mouth. Hey why am I crying?

DBZ- Thanks for everything, old man. Hope you're up there enjoying it.

[PokeNirvash]

Golden Rule, bitches.

12:00 - Ninja Kamui (Dubbed) #7 - Episode 7 - TV-MAV
12:30 - Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba: Entertainment District Arc #11 - No Matter How Many Lives - TV-MAV
1:15 - Lycoris Recoil #10 - Repay evil with evil - TV-14DLV
1:45 - One Piece #658 - A Big Surprise! The True Identity of the Toy Soldier! - TV-PGL
2:15 - Naruto Shippuden #481 - Sasuke and Sakura - TV-PG
2:45 - Dragon Ball Z Kai #4 - Run in the Afterlife, Goku! The One Million Mile Snake Way! - TV-PGLV
3:15 - Ninja Kamui (Subbed) #7 - Episode 7 - TV-MAV

[EmpressAngel]

[Commentary TBA because I discovered my fuckass sibling stole my credit card so now I gotta start dealing with this bullshit tonight]

[PokeNirvash]

Damn, that sucks. Hope things turned out well, or at least not too far on the negative.

12:00 - Ninja Kamui (Dubbed) #8 - Episode 8 - TV-MAV
12:30 - Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead #1 - Akira of the Dead - TV-MAV (Poke's Rating: TV-MAV)
1:00 - Lycoris Recoil #11 - Diamond cut diamond - TV-14LV
1:30 - One Piece #659 - A Horrible Past! The Secret of Dressrosa! - TV-PGV
2:00 - Naruto Shippuden #482 - Gaara and Shikamaru - TV-PG
2:30 - Dragon Ball Z Kai #5 - Wilderness Survival! A Moonlit Night Awakens Gohan! - TV-PGLV
3:00 - Ninja Kamui (Subbed) #8 - Episode 8 - TV-MAV

[EmpressAngel]

I swear I wasn't in jail I was just too lazy to watch anything til the last second.

Ninja- I'm pretty sure this obvious lesbian was just in love with your wife, bro.

Demon Slayer- Y'lknow what I'm not gonna question why Nezuko can magically cure poison now because she fixed my loud big titty boyfriend.

Licorice- Just let the adorable lesbian and her tired gay dad be happy, show.

One Piece- I need to know if Toy Soldier's human form is a dilf, this is extremely important.

[EmpressAngel]

I deadass forgot we were getting a new show tonight so that was an actual fun surprise.

Ninja- Techbro Douche here might have the most puncable face I've ever seen in an anime. Pay no attention to this truck with the big honkers painted all over it. Fuck off lady I'll be as angry as I want. Your identity has been thoroughly compromised at this point, you can get a less terrible haircut. "Ninjas can be very threatening," she says as I point-blank ignore whatever horrible bullshit is going on in Naruto right now. I like how that guy's mecha also gets giant hair. On the flip side those giant centipede things need to stay at least 400 feet away from me at all times. The dude does his own fight sound effects, kinda rooting for him here. Quick, shove one of those batteries up his ass! I respect this dude and his vibes. Look if that lady wanted her dream respected then she shouldn't have been such a shitty ninja. Girl you be nice to your work dad. Kinda wish he was my dad. Hey look, you know that guy! This is going way too well for them now.

Zombie- Okay so the zombies regenerate when they eat prople, that's not a good thing. Oh false alarm it's just some nerd watching movies. I feel personally attacked by this opening scene. This girl is really cute, it's not gonna go well. Grown up jobs sure are depressing. This is deeply triggering. At least the cute girl is still here. Oh, that's gross. Why does this make me want to put a gun in my mouth? Show I'm really not a fan of this mirror you're hlding up to my own mental health here. Oh right, the show's about zombies. There's a door there, son. Hey, this means you don't have to go to work! Our boy's out here living his best life now. Now go find that cute girl and rail her! I am 100% on board with whatever this show wants to throw at me. Meanwhile, Truck-kun claims another victim. Ohhhh I really hope she's not a zombie. We stan a nerd king. AW FUCK. Hey why am I crying. Fingers crossed Woody Harrelson pulls up in a truck full of guns next.

Licorice- Step aside, doucheag lesbians. Fuck you, robot. I love you, Tits McGee. Quick, go save your girlfriend! Meanwhile, furry loli casually solving the entire damn puzzle. Furry loli strikes again. Tits McGee is never getting laid. Where the fuck did this kid get a helicopter. God forbid you give these girls pants for their super elite secret mission. Oh I got a real bad feeling about this. Fuck ooooooff, douchebag lesbians. GO SAVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND! Definitely got a giggle out of the roombas trying to clean up the murder scene. Man, fuck this guy and his stupid robot sidekick. Ah shit now you're framed for murder. Whelp, you're fucked. THE ROOMAS BETRAYED US. Look I'm just saying if Chisato and Mika don't get a sweet little father-daughter reunion at the end I'm flipping a table. Look at her go. Oh this is such a fucking trap. SHOOT HIM IN THE DICK. Honey I know you're a pacifist but just use him as a meat shield. I haaaaate this guy. What is this echolocation bat horseshit. She's not gonna fuck you, bro. LESBIAN POWERS, ACTIVATE. 

One Piece- What factory? God I love Bartolomeo so much. Oh right, the tournament is still going. Toy Soldier is best dad. Usopp asking the real questions here. Not that fucking bird bitch again! King Riku sounds like a chill dude, what the hell happened. Yeah yeah sure grandpa, kid's still hungry. And then the flamingo nation attacked. This is why everybody fucking hates you, Doflamingo. Oh yeah I'm sure he'll really let you buy it off of him. Okay so from everyone's point of view the king just went bonkers and started robbing them blind, I can see why they hate him. Oh yeah, people hate it when you fuck with their money. King's a good dude. Plan B: it's a pipe bomb! Wow these people are waaaaay more understanding that I would ever be. Oh this is going WAY too well. Fucking flamingo piece of shit bastard what did you do. Ah hell. Okay yeah, now I get why everybody turned on him. If I had a nickle every time I heard that in hentai, I'd be a millionare. Meanwhile, Doflamingo's definitely getting off on this. I forgot that slimy fucker existed and now my night is also ruined.

[PokeNirvash]

ビール! ビール!

12:00 - Ninja Kamui (Dubbed) #9 - Episode 9 - TV-MAV
12:30 - Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead #2 - Bucket List of the Dead - TV-MAV (Poke's Rating: TV-14V)
1:00 - Lycoris Recoil #12 - Nature versus nurture - TV-14LV
1:30 - One Piece #660 - A Nightmare! The Tragic Night of Dressrosa! - TV-14V
2:00 - Naruto Shippuden #483 - Jiraiya and Kakashi - TV-PGD
2:30 - Dragon Ball Z Kai #6 - The End of Snake Way! King Kai's Bizarre Test! - TV-PGLV
3:00 - Ninja Kamui (Subbed) #9 - Episode 9 - TV-MAV

[EmpressAngel]

Ninja- Offer Retirement has had enough of this shit. Hey, respect your work dad. I really need someone to kill this techbro. You heard the lady, you're gonna have to fuck that robot. Go into hiding and for the love of god get a better haircut. Well you see senator, our office was attacked by ninjas. Okay it's really funny that he schedules time off every day for his hair. I'm pretty sure this qualifies as some kind of sexual harassment. Above all else I am rooting for this guy to live and keep his daily barber appointment. Y'all literally drive a semi truck with a massive pair of titties on it and you're surprised the enemies keep finding you. Why do I feel like this nerd is going to ruin everything. Officer Retirement is having a rough day. It'll be a much bigger surprise if he survives this whole show. This counts as a sweet surrogate father/daughter bonding moment. Well damn that was a quick fight. Higan is getting progressively less hot as his survival odds increase. I can't believe they turned that guy into a pipe bomb. If nothing else, girl took that bomb to the face like a champ. Wait is the guy modeled after Jason Demarco in the show created by Jason Demarco actually named Jason and I'm just now noticing? Well that sucks. Note to self, hug my dad tomorrow.

Zom- Show I already told you to stop holding up this uncomfortable mirror to my own career. I'm really happy for him to getting his life together. Sometimes day drinking is the best form of self care. OH NO WE'RE OUT OF BEER. Him ruining this couple's dramatic emotional breakdown is great. A desperate need for toilet paper is a universal constant for world-shaking events. God I would die for this boy. Oh hey, you found a girlfriend. Girl you think beer's not essential? Oh dang she's cool. Truck-kun strikes again! MY BIKE. I hope there's another bike around here. Sweet, free scooter! Sweeter, free motorcycle! Oh no they're zombies now aren't they. I forgot the zombies are an actual problem here. Get out there and live your dreams, you weird little nerd. Tonight's theme is apparently that I need to hug my dad, stop beating me over the head with it! Oh this girl is way too high-maintenance to fuck. Girl how do you not know how zombies work in movies. Honey you're in an apocalypse just get the damn snacks. I sure hope I end up liking this girl more. Lady your life has obviously not been shitty enough if you're questioning why someone would want beer in an apocalypse.

Licorice- Let's go, lesbians! Chisato honey I think it's time to go ahead and bring out the real bullets. Oh for fuck's sake don't split up. Ah hell they're gonna put down all the lesbians like Ol' Yeller. I keep forgetting this guy isn't Yoshikage from Jojo. Man what a dick. Dude what the fuck. Chisato honey he literally wants to kill you. I absolutely approve of shooting him. Takina is the girlfriend we all deserve in life. THIS BITCH AGAIN. Stop fucking shooting at the lesbians! Now steal his organs while they're still warm. Your girlfriend's gonna fucking kill them. Furry loli has become such an unexpected MVP of this show. I can't believe the final villain if this show is the damn genderswap boy version of the squad. You can go ahead and kill this particular bitch lesbian. I hope Tits McGee finally gets laid at the end of all this. Damn can't a hideously ugly lady take a shit in peace? Oh hey, Chisato's here. You probably could have used literally any other color for the non-lethal bullets so it doesn't look like you're murdering people. The Pac Man simulator cracked me up. Eat shit, robot douche. One last gag about his door. What on earth? Okay that's actually brilliant. And a happy ending for all-wait what do you mean the show's not over. Oh what the fuck now!?

One Piece- Riku's having a real hard night. Oh no, not Vergo. Wait is that Violet? Oh hey, pre-harpy Monet. I forget, did we know Violet was the princess? Man this is a weird gang. The guy in the LET'S BABY shirt makes me uncomfortable. Well this is depressing as shit. Look I know they're all traumatized but I refuse to believe anyone would look at that slimy bastard and believe he's a good guy. I hope that horse at least had an alright time. Guys he's literally doing an evil cackle at your horiffic experience, do y'all not see that? Meanwhile, this fight is still going on? Franky is a gift and we don't deserve him. Gee I wonder who's secretly been Riku this whole time. That slinky dog getting cucked by his wife's new boyfriend is unreasonably funny to me. Time for a full on revolution! Great job guys, you fucked up this country. And then everyone was toys. Bartolomeo tried his best. Great job at the stealth thing, Luffy.

[Greener223224]

 

Hooray for faster Dressrosa!

 

[PokeNirvash]

R.I.P. Emma. Let's hope your death is the last one the [as] on-air schedule and Anime News Network spoil for the unprepared.

12:00 - Ninja Kamui (Dubbed) #10 - Episode 10 - TV-MAV
12:30 - Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead #3 - Best Friend of the Dead - TV-MASV (Poke's Rating: TV-14DSV)
1:00 - Lycoris Recoil #13 - Recoil of Lycoris - TV-14LV
1:30 - One Piece #661 - A Showdown Between the Warlords! Law vs. Doflamingo! - TV-PGLV
2:00 - Naruto Shippuden #484 - The Exploding Human - TV-PGV
2:30 - Dragon Ball Z Kai #7 - The Battle With Ten-Times Gravity! Goku's Race Against the Clock! - TV-PGLV
3:00 - Ninja Kamui (Subbed) #10 - Episode 10 - TV-MAV

[EmpressAngel]

Ninja- Show I don't care about the third wheel's tragic backstory. Oh I am extremely uncomfortable with some of the implications here. Look buddy some of us need an unsafe amount of radioactive liquid waste to start the day. Wait if ninjas don't have graves then what the hell did you do with your wife and kid's corpses? It's encrypted with the stupid karaoke song isn't it. Someone please punch this douchebag's skull in half. Don't you start bringing offbrand Tiktok into this. Why does Mari always sound like she's reading her lines right before her lunch break and just wants to clock out in the next five minutes? It is way too late in the game for me to drum up any interest for this guy that I can only describe as having vaguely Sasuke-ish vibes. Okay, "raised by crows in the mountains" is admittedly a new one. Yes yes you were all good friends until the other two started fucking like rabbits and abandoned you. Nerd what are you even doing here, just go sit in a corner and work on the computer.Officer Three Days Until Retirement did not pick the smartest move here. Is the discount Linkin Park soundtrack the best soundtrack choice here? Oh lord now the robots are Naruto running. I agree, you really should have just killed that guy years ago.

Zombie- Thanks, suspiciously nice club owner helping this traumatized child. Okay yeah I can fuck with this. Meanwhile our business boy continues to live his best life. Honey no don't do the sharpie beard. Oh thank god the internet's back. Meanwhile, he's having the worst time in the club. Dude just kill the zombie. The fuck you mean there's nothing in the bondage room you can use to fight your way out? I love how totally unconcerned he is with goddamn everything. You should have listened to your cute friend and quit years ago. Sorry your dramatic final stand is interrupted by the world's most obnoxious car horn. The grownzombie  man in a slutty sailor girl outfit made me laugh. Good job, business boy. Friend surprise! Hug it out, idiots. Oh right, the zombies. This man is too hungover for this shit. I'd die for you, business boy. You're living through a zombie apocalypse, you'd might as well stop giving a shit about dying. Nut up, man. Amigo now is not the time for your heartfelt moment! Fucking run, dumbass. YEET. Oh, I love him. You're gonna be picking gravel out of your dong. "I SCRAPED MY BAAAALLS" has me fucking crying. Naked bro bonding time. I'd like to apologize in advance for whatever happens to this hot, stupid man.

Licorice- Show you can go ahead and kill the douchebag lesbians. Chisato has run out of shits to give. Oh what the hell are you doing now. ANOTHER bomb?! Honey just use the real bullets this time. The worst lesbian, letting her partner bleed out on the floor and die. Go save your girlfriend! Oh right, she's dying. Time out, soda break! Men will literally destroy an entire building instead of going to therapy. Dude what the fuck are you talking about. It's time to kill your shitty ex, Mika. Goddamn he's cool. Joke's on you his leg's been fine this whole time. He's gonna need a hug later. Sweet, free robot heart. I hope by help you mean throwing him off a building. Too many fucking stairs. Girlfriend powers, activate! Oh nice, throwing him to his doom is what they meant by help. Now kiss you wholesome idiots. Props to this lady for taking the fall on the fake story. Oh hey, the one girl survived. That's a lot of guns. How the fuck is that guy still alive?! For the love of god somebody fuck Tits McGee. This better end with these girls making out. Shooting at each other counts as foreplay. So who's gonna tell her they ripped that guy's heart out of his chest and jammed it in her ribcage. Your ex, still the biggest asshole even after death. I love our lesbians. I'm sure that English joke is funnier in Japanese.

One Piece- You're all doing so great at the whole stealth thing. I forgot fucking Bellamy is still here. And now, a wild homo appears. Okay everybody fucking with Bellamy and laughing behind his back this whole time is a pretty funny joke. Meanwhile Law, still having the worst day. Uh hey Law I don't think this is going well for you. Which one of you didn't silce your shell phone? Not now, Steven Tyler! Look if Violet's cans are gonna be that fat she can do whatever she wants. What factory. I'm sure this Kaido guy won't be important later. New priority, save Law's ass. Zoro's just salty he didn't get to play in the tournament. I keep forgetting that people forget about people when they turn into toys. I love that most of our gang is dumb as all fuck. The tontotta are so adorable and I would die for them. You buy Luffy a happy meal and he will disassemble your local government with zero questions asked. You're a good dude, Franky. New plan: fuck the government. Well this is new...false alarm, it's just Law getting his ass beat. It's fine we can call a doctor-wait, shit, Law was the doctor. Do I sense a tragic backstory on the horizon?

[PokeNirvash]

And you thought Kamui's episode descrips spoiled things...

12:00 - Ninja Kamui (Dubbed) #11 - Episode 11 - TV-MAV
12:30 - Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead #4 - Flight Attendant of the Dead - TV-MASV (Poke's Rating: TV-MAV)
1:00 - One Piece #662 - Two Great Rivals Meet Each Other! Straw Hat and Heavenly Demon! - TV-14LV
1:30 - One Piece #663 - Luffy Astonished! The Man Who Inherits Ace's Will! - TV-14L
2:00 - Naruto Shippuden #485 - Coliseum - TV-PG
2:30 - Dragon Ball Z Kai #8 - Shenron Appears! The Saiyans Arrive Sooner Than Expected! - TV-PGDLV
3:00 - Ninja Kamui (Subbed) #11 - Episode 11 - TV-MAV

Edited April 21 by PokeNirvash

[EmpressAngel]

As far as titles go I don't think there's any topping "Ace Dies!" for spoilers.

Ninja- Of course the answer is murder, the fuck else you think he was gonna do? Congratulations show you finally remembered what I'm here for, violent man fights. Ah hell it's a sharingan. I gotta admit, a ripped unkillable man is right up my alley. Alright yeah that's fair to be murderously pissed at him for getting your face the Todoroki treatment. In his defense, he defected to get laid. My dude I'm pretty sure he's been in love with you this whole time. Lady it's thinking like this that probably got your son murdered by ninjas. I like that Officer Retirement keeps calling him Ducky. I hate Techbro Douchebag so fucking much. Oh yeah I'm sure your minions are gonna kill the head ninja with no problem. I mean if the two asshole squads just kill each other off then that takes care of like a solid 65% of our problems. Wow I can't imagine how the feds managed to track down the fuckin' Titty Truck so fast. You dumb motherfucker you shot your own hot lady bodyguard. Ma'am throw me over your shoulder and carry me like a dipshit sack of potatoes next please. Well at least somebody in this show is having a good day. Lady don't throw your life away for this douchebag. GODDAMMIT. Maybe if Mari wasn't such a shitty nina her kid would still be alive.

Zombies- Is he just gonna stay naked for the entire series because this is gonna get distracting. Meanwhile, constantly farting zombies. I love their friendship. Shit's on fire, yo. The zombie firefighter trying his best got me. The dog also being a zombie makes me sad. Ah crap, subway zombies. Hey look, found yoursel a girlfriend. This checks off like four boxes. Oh my god they're flight attendants! This is fantastic. Oh right, the cannibalistic undead hoard outside. I like this angry dunk one. Get it, himbo. NO NOT THE TEQUILA. Date me you weird naked man. If i learned anything from Chainsaw Man, it's that you shouldn't make out with somebody drunk enough to barf. Ah fuck that guy's gonna ruin it all. Please don't kill my drunk bitch wife. Damn our himbo didn't waste any time. Aw dangit she has a boyfriend. Whelp, hot drunk one's dead. "Too deep in a post-dick stupor to dodge a zombie" is how I want to die. The service industry is dogshit indeed. Son of a bitch all the girls are dead. Yeah you're gonna wanna get out of there before she zombies out. This show strikes a fantastic balance between hilarious and depressing as fuck and I'm here for it. You gotta become a flight attendant to honor her memory. FUCK YEAH, FREE TV. I have no interest in being a flight attendant and will laugh at anything, date me.

One Piece- Law's day, somehow getting worse every 20 minutes. Nothing to see here, regular folks. Momo sucks you can go ahead and take him. Oh hey, Fujitora. There is exactly one functional eye in this fight. I like that Fujitora cares enough to evacuate the citizens. Meanwhile Law, bleeding out on the pavement. Bye, Law. Well Kinemon he just got his ass beat and shot so probably not doing well here. Wow, shocking that the bad mustache didn't fool anyone with upwards of three braincells. Everything's going straight to hell. What the hell is that?! All aboard the SS Diabetes. Wait why does the boat talk what kind of fever dream is this. Fancy Eggman is somehow the weirdest guy in this show. You should just let them have Caesar. Oh they want to kill him, definitely let them have Caesar. Cheese it, gang! Franky's gonna be so pissed if the Sunny explodes. You can just let them have Momo and Caesar. Now get out of here. Sanji you got like half your bones broken approximately 20 minutes ago the hell you think you're gonna do? Everyone hates Doflamingo. Meanwhile, oh my god this tournament match is still going. Oooh who's this new guy?

Oh that title makes me think I'm gonna be crying by the end of this. Everybody fucking hates you, Bellamy. I'm sure we're not supposed to like this wacky little twink but I appreciate him kicking the shit out of someone I hate. Barto no just let him get kicked to death. Not now. Steven Tyler! Barto you're a good boy but just let him get murdered. I enjoy watching Bellamy suffer. Maybe sempai would notice you if you didn't suck absolute shit. Toy Soldier is a good dude and I hope his real form is hot. What factory. Man, everybody suddenly getting a decade of secret memories back is gonna fuck up this place somethin' fierce. Now, beat the shit out of this child. Oh god not that nasty creep. She's like eight, just punch her in the skull. Usopp, heroically volunteering to fight a child. I love Franky's hair. Luffy my dude just punch a hole in the wall. On second thought, pairing Bellamy up with Luffy's biggest fanboy is probably the worst thing he could imagine. Barto is my spirit animal. You're barking up the wrong tree, Bellamy doesn't know what it's like to have friends. I would trust Bartolomeo with my life. Hello guy are you hot. Is this Luffy's secret second brother who never shows up? Man I hope he's hot because my thirst is contractually obligated to transfer with that fruit. SHOW ME HIS FACE GODDAMMIT. What are they wearing. And then they were furries. Oooh who's this. OH MY GOD KOALA'S BACK! Hey look, I'm crying.