Trunks Thread 19.1: A New New Frontier

[EmpressAngel]

Lazarus is fun and that's all that matters.

Lazarus- Don't do drugs, kids. I don't trust Popcorn Wizard. FAT CAT SIGHTING. I give it five minutes before Axel does something stupid but awesome. Yes hello we're just normal cleaners here to clean. Your old boss retired to give handjobs on the street, shouldn't be that hard to find. It's fine, Homeless Jerry is here to help. Jill is cute. Aww, that's sweet. I'd take a bullet for Jill, zero questions asked. Ooooh you just know there's some anti-woke douchebag making a Youtube video about this as we speak. This guy looks uncannily like an anime version of my high school biology teacher. Axel is either about to go bankrupt from basketball or swindle that boy for everything he has, there's nothing in between. Istanbul is Constantinople, you know. We gotta track down Granny Belinda for her recipes. Great job kid you don't stand out at all. CHEESE IT. Aw yeah the smooth jazz is starting we're in for some fun. Aww that little girl's adorable. He said the secret word! Well Boruto just got his hand chopped off, so we could be doing better. Gorge on your snacks now because we're all gonna die in a month. I'd die for you, Granny. I love Axel there are no brain cells in that skull of his. We just found a clue!

Exorcist- He's just barfing up a gallon of blood, that's probably fine. Surprise, your grandpa's a senile old dick. Meanwhile Mephisto's just here having a good time. Yukio is real dumb in this arc. Huh, guess you should have learned to control your powers too. Hey guys maybe you shouldn't have opened a portal directly into hell. No seriously what is the deal with Puppet Kid. "Hey kiddo, I fucked your mom." Double surprise, your grandpa's even more of a senile old dick! She was busy playing with the Animal Crossing snowmen. So anyway, I started blasting.  "After he killed my entire team, I decied to hang out and see how it'd go." Kids, your mom was really fucking stupid. Yeah, crazy how "I fucked Satan and he isn't so bad" didn't go over well with the church. This all could have been avoided if you'd taught that girl about condoms. And then she died, Star Wars style. So are y'all just gonna ignore that priests and cardinals aren't allowed to have kids either? We're gonna have to put Yukio down like a dog.

One Piece- God bless Zoro and his complete inability to think anything through. Pica's voice, still hilarious. Oh right, the marines are here to get in the way. Maybe should have evacuated the roof before you called him over to squash you, my dude. I hope that big guy can aim for the right direction because Zoro sure as hell can't. You're all very nice but very very dumb. These insults would hurt a lot more if they weren't coming out of the most ridiculous voice possible. YEET. And now Zoro will read a poem for our enjoyment. He's fine I'm sure he didn't need that torso. Dividing him up like a Kitkat bar. Pay no attention to the thousands of pound of debris falling from the sky here. We've reached the Dick Measuring phase of the fight. Hey, Mihawk. Remember that time Zoro got murdered. Barto, still having the best day ever. Zoro's so cool. Oh right, we're still in mortal peril. One Punch Egg, to the rescue!

I see that title and start screaming because how the FUCK are we not done with Bellamy yet?! Mihawk is so cool. Oh that's just cruel, sir. Zoro learned haki purely to support his drinking problem. Fujitora is a good dude I wish he was my grandpa. What factory. Good job little guys I'm proud of you. Why the fuck is Trebol still here. Mansherry is so goddamn cute I love her so much. Kyros is the best. By the way, the entire kingdom's on fire. Our only hope rests on a hyperactive glutton and a man actively bleeding out of his severed arm. I love Koala so much. Boyfriend get in there and help your girlfriend! You said the magic word and now he's on the way. I'm surprised Zoro climbed up the right tower. Oh right, the giant birdcage that's gonna kill us all is still there. Fucking christ can Bellamy just die already. I...I think I might actually hate Bellamy more than Foxy. Thank fucking god we're done with him, it's an Easter miracle. Meanwhile, Law's fucking dead.

[PokeNirvash]

Protip: whenever Toei says a character is dying this episode, 9 times out of 10 they don't, really.

12:00 - Lazarus #4 - Don't Stop the Dance - TV-14LV
12:30 - Common Side Effects #9 - Cliff's Edge - TV-14LV
1:00 - Blue Exorcist #24 - Satan's Spawn - TV-14LV
1:30 - One Piece #721 - Law Dies! Luffy's Raging Onslaught! - TV-14V
2:00 - One Piece #722 - A Blade of Tenacity! The Gamma Knife Counterattack! - TV-14V
2:30 - Naruto #16 - The Broken Seal - TV-14
3:00 - Ginger Root's SHINBANGUMI: A Music Movie - TV-14

Edited April 27 by PokeNirvash

[EmpressAngel]

And it's that 1 out of 10 times that comes back to bite me in the ass!

Lazarus- I bet this hacker is a kid in a squirrel fursuit. I'm here for that cat. I see this crypto douchebro on my screen and immediately recoil in disgust. We're banking that he's into 12-year old girls. No let Axel go offscript it'll be fun. No let her drink more it'll be fun. What, you're gonna cut his arm off for his tattoo? Well let's hope the fake girl plot goes better than it did for Ginro. I hope we see these crypto douchebros die. Now that's a hell of a drink. Oh no kid you're gonna get roofied. ENHANCE. I am deeply uncomfortable with this. BEAT HIS ASS. Damn girl you doin' anything later? They are getting good use out of every dime they spent on that John Wick guy. Please tell me he's gonna jump at the helicoptor. He jumped at the helicoptor! All women hate you and that includes your autopilot. There is a machine gun strapped to the drone and I'm here for every minute of this. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. Let them die. If your parents give you a name like that's it's 100% because they hate you. Oh no, the monkeys!

Exorcist- This is the least threatening demon I've ever seen. Grandpa continues to be the biggest senile old bastard. "Hey kid, I fucked your mom." Kids you are all very stupid. And then everyone died. It's fine, Boobs will save us all. Death by enormous boobs is exactly how I want to die, don't judge me. Snaaaaake. In a surprise twist Satan's actually really strong, y'all. Shocking how trusting Satan to knock you up didn't go well. "Hey, the chick with the cans is back" is also how the Starbucks across from my work recognizes me. Old man you realze 99% of the students have no goddamn clue about all this demon bullshit, right? Shiemi, real fucking dumb til the bitter end. Hey guys have we tried just asking Satan nicely to pretty please stop? I wonder how season 2 is gonna retcon all of this in a couple weeks. TFW you're naked and restrained by dozens of soulless mini clones of yourself as you try to escape from hell. Bro you shot me! Yeah sure this is what their dipshit mom dreamed of for her children. Oh right, Satan's still here.

One Piece- God I wish Bellamy was dead. Yes I know what that title says but this is not my fault. Law is still having the worst fucking day. I refuse to believe Trebol is the second strongest member of that crew. In case you forgot, Law has never had a good day even once in his life. I miss Cora. Hey I know you were trying to kill me but instead, how about you die to make me immortal? Man, Law is hot. That's some real big talk for a guy missing one limb and half the blood in his body. Ohhh now he's mad. I like that Kanjuro's shitty, shitty ladder is still there. Yes Doflamingo is an evil bastard but he's just so cool. Please tell me Bellamy is dead. While you were busy yelling at Bellamy, Law got shot like nine times and died. Fun fact, in real life if you try to fight the flamingos the cops come and you get banned from the zoo. Ah shit, string's moving. Law you know damn well that boy cannot follow a plan, save your breath.

Remember gang, if we win then everybody gets a rimjob from the newly-disposed king. You gotta save that giant gorilla at all costs! Fuck them kids, don't trip if you don't wanna die. We have to stop this, Baby 5's got a wedding to plan. It's hella cold that he's ready to dice up his own crew over a little tantrum like this. Fuck oooooff, Trebol. Luffy's only two thoughts are FIGHT and EAT, your evil monologue is wasted here. Big deal, I've been destroying my body from the inside out with hazardous amounts of energy drinks every day for ten years. The sheer nuts you have to get shot on purpose. Meanwhile, that random henchman is absolutely fucking dead. You've got about 30 seconds before Luffy throws your plan right out the window, make it count. BEAT HIS ASS. Now somebody please execute Trebol. Yes show I get it, I'm not allowed to have nice things. Can we take a second to glue Law's arm back on real quick? I miss you Cora you were hot.

[PokeNirvash]

ZA WARUDO!

12:00 - Lazarus #5 - Pretty Vacant - TV-14LV
12:30 - Common Side Effects #10 - Raid - TV-14DLV
1:00 - Blue Exorcist #25 - Stop, Time - TV-14LV
1:30 - One Piece #723 - A Collision of Haki! Luffy vs. Doflamingo! - TV-14V
2:00 - One Piece #724 - Unassailable! The Stunning Secret of Trebol! - TV-14V
2:30 - Naruto #17 - White Past: Hidden Ambition - TV-14V
3:00 - Sailor Moon #14 - A New Enemy Appears: Nephrite's Evil Crest - TV-PGV

[EmpressAngel]

A Bleach promo? On my screen? What year is it?

Lazarus- Man it sucks that this drug is gonna kill you and didn't even get you high. Sure we could have blown the whistle on the death drugs but we wouldn't have earned as much money, so really we had no choice. Oh, it's an eyeball. Eh, I've heard worse music. Maybe Skinner was just real into shitty EDM. Y'all should know by now that Axel will run off as soon as you take your eyes off him. Plan B, seduce the security guard...oh wait no, it's have a fight. Man really just went for it. Hands up, I've got a phone and I'm not afraid to use it. My dude we're all gonna die in like three weeks who gives a shit about money. Ohhhh, so that's what the whole eyeball thing is about. Okay guys new plan, we give the entire world false hope that they won't die and just cross our fingers it works out. Axel may just wanna fuck the doctor. We've baited the hacker with unsecured files of everyone's nudes. I do not understand a word of this explanation. We're under attack from arctic seals! The call is coming from inside the house! That poor man is just shitting his guts out in the dark. Boy are you gonna be pissed when you find out it's a fake. Teens are the fucking worst. The tachikomas have betrayed us. I hope you drive off that mountain and die. You just doomed the world to die, you stupid bitch.

Exorcist- Welcome to 9th grade English class, kids. Who culd have guessed that Satan was actually an asshole the whole time. Oh hey, this douchebag's back. I do like the derpy-looking snake sword. And then everyone died. The rest of those students have gotta be totally fucking baffled over this turn of events. Now kids don't fight, you both suck. The real strongest force in this show is whatever dark magic is keeping that bikini top on those boobs. Fucking zubats everywhere. Timezone bullshit, the ultimate evil that can defeat anything. Shouldn't your giant cat also be weakened by the sunshine mirror attack? Mephisto's just out here having a great time and I respect it. I don't understand, why wouldn't my kids want to destroy the entire world they love and have grown up in? Boys, even in death your mom is still a massive fucking idiot. Hey, Shiemi finally grew a spine. Where the fuck did Puppet Kid come from. I know I read Faust back in high school but gun to my head I could not remember a single thing about it. This would be very heartwarming if their mom wasn't rockfuck stupid and almost caused an apocalypse. Do you wanna build a snowman? Your mom died because she was dumb as all fuck and she deserved it. GHOOOOSTRIDERS IN THE SKYYYYY. Rin continues to suck. Can't wait to see how they retcon all this as a bad case of carbon monoxide poisoning.

One Piece- Cora and I could have been happy together but no I'm not allowed to have nice things. God I hope Trebol dies. Just go ahead and rub that tragic backstory in real good, show. This is why everybody hates you, Doffy. Hey Luffy maybe this would have gone better if you didn't spend two months dicking around in the basement with goddamn Bellamy of all people. Ohhhh that's an angry flamingo. Neat, gross. I would much rather just outright die than have to fight Trebol. Law buddy I think you might oughta just sit the rest of this out. An unexpected win for the foot fetishists watching tonight. Now that Bellamy's out of the picture, it's Trebol's turn to be the fucking worst. I'm gonna share a hot take here and say it's probably bad to crucify and torture small children. Okay maybe Tiny Doffy was a reasonable exception to that. I like that Tiny Vergo still had the food on his face. Man that was a fucked up childhood. Careful with those forehead veins or you're gonna give yourself an aneurysm. Luffy doesn't care about your tragic backstory he's just here to punch things. We've gotta get that boy some meat or this fight will never end.

Oh god it's a Trebol episode just shoot me now. He's so fucking gross. He's not a logia he's just disgusting. You're literally covered in snot, get off your high horse. I'll get revenge thanks to the strength of my new friends and also this gun I found. Fuck off, Steven Tyler. They really put all their eggs in one flamingo basket, changed their gang name and everything. Was Pica always that short? Nah dude, a real family gets drunk and shittalks each other on Thanksgiving then doesn't see each other for six months. Trebol you stupid bastard. Huh, I didn't think he could still move that arm. I enjoy seeing Trebol in pain. Awww the little guys are happy. Oh right, we're still in mortal peril. Good god, he's even more hideous without the slime. Aw fuck it's a murder-suicide! Shit's on fire, yo. It's fine, everyone not unfathomably disgusting got out. There's something very funny about catching the guy with the severed arm using a net made out of dozens of arms. Law's still having the worst day.

[PokeNirvash]

It may be a marathon, but it ain't no vacation.

12:00 - Lazarus #6 - Heaven is a Place on Earth - TV-14V
12:30 - Lazarus #1 - Goodbye Cruel World - TV-14LV
1:00 - Lazarus #2 - Life in the Fast Lane - TV-14DV
1:30 - Lazarus #3 - Long Way From Home - TV-14V
2:00 - Lazarus #4 - Don't Stop the Dance - TV-14LV
2:30 - Lazarus #5 - Pretty Vacant - TV-14LV
3:00 - Lazarus #6 - Heaven is a Place on Earth - TV-14V

[EmpressAngel]

Happy Mother's Day to all the milfs out there.

Lazarus- It's a cult! Of course it's fucking AI garbage. Yo gotta dress that boy up as a girl scout to get inside. It's dangerous in there, take this pipe bomb. That's definitely her ex girlfriend. You're gonna get used as a human sacrifice. I can't access my porn from here, this is bullshit. Meanwhile Axel getting the zoomies in the parking lot. That cult leader definitely knocked up your mom and probably half the women here. I'll trade you a basket of cookies for 40 minutes of pornhub. This boy is suffering and is about to get inducted into a cult. "Don't look at it and just open your mouth" is definitely a thing I've heard before elsewhere. Maybe we can ask his AI brain copy for a cure. Goddammit that lesbian is gonna rat us out. CHEESE IT. I hope you brought a gun. Yep you're getting human sacrificed. Ah crap it's one of them doomsday suicide cults. Shut up and kiss each other, lesbians. We're going full Wicker Man here and unfortunately it's the good one from the 70's. PIPE BOMB TOTHE RESCUE. It's fine, Axel's on the way to kick the shit out of everyone. Or we could just let the freaky cult weirdos die. Ah hell it's the feds. That's fucked up, bot. Well on the other hand, the cult losers are probably the only people not going to die from the drug bullshit. It would be a real bonkers plot twist if the gang failed and the entire planet just died.

[PokeNirvash]

The other prodigal son has returned at long last.

12:00 - Lazarus #7 - Almost Blue - TV-14
12:30 - Bleach: Thousand-Year Blood War #1 - The Blood Warfare - TV-14V
1:00 - Blue Exorcist: Kyoto Saga #1 - Small Beginnings - TV-14LV
1:30 - One Piece #725 - Anger Erupts! I Will Take Everything Upon Myself! - TV-14V
2:00 - One Piece #726 - Fourth Gear! The Phenomenal Bounce-man! - TV-14V
2:30 - Naruto #18 - The Weapons Known as Shinobi - TV-14V
3:00 - Sailor Moon #15 - Usagi's Panic: Rei's First Date - TV-PGV

If anyone asks, the filler ending was all just a weird dream Rin was having.

Edited May 17 by PokeNirvash

[EmpressAngel]

In the year of our lord 2025 I can't believe I'm watching Bleach on Adult Swim again.

Lazarus- The braincells do age you a good 15 years or so. On the flip slide, him not being 40 makes him less attractive. MEAT. I approve of the bbq flame thrower. NOOOO NOT THE MEAT. Are the polar bears okay? I respect him for still trying to eat those charred bbq remains. We almost got Wicker Man'd and nothing came of it? Look can we really blame god for hating us and wanting to wipe us out? Hey there smuggler lady how you doin. Might as well play the lotto with that code and see what happens.  Let's split up, gang. We're looking for Atlantis, guys. Beach week, go! We're all gonna die, go ahead and shoot your shot. Come on gang take off your shirts and get to work. Boruto's out of luck on that flight. Fuck it, buy a yacht. Meanwhile computer girl's just sitting here vibing. Wait you mean we don't get to stay friends after this? Sorry dude, being the only one smart enough to bring a wet suit does in fact make you look older. At least the fish are having a good thing. Y'know what guys, maybe humanity does deserve to die. I'm glad we can add Lazarus to the list of anime that still let the men have nipples. Art dude's really just flopping on this date. Oh shit they used to bone didn't they. Was this all just a scavenger hunt for that old man to get some friends? Surprise, you're all just here for this lady's convoluted plan to stick it to her ex. Place your bets is she her friend, sister, or ex girlfriend?

Bleach- Can't wait to see which terrible men fit into my standards now that I've gotten older and so much worse. Old man it's midnight I'm not doing math now. Good to know I still wouldn't fuck Mayuri no matter how low my standards get. It's been two minutes and I hate these kids already. It's one single hollow, grow a pair and cut it in half. Goddamn these kids are awful. Oh hey, Chad exists. Orihime getting her contractually-mandated 30 seconds of use per arc. Alright I'll admit the song has me grinning like a dumbass. Enjoy seeing Chad do something while you can, you know it's not gonna last. And Ishida is here too. Why did y'all even bother sending these kids at all? Fuck off, child. Petty bickering is the same thing as comedy, right? Who the fuck are you? Oh right, most of the characters in this show have a personality like a cheese grater. Oh hey, people I know. Everyone here got raptured and they don't have to be in Bleach anymore. Oh no that's so sad, that guy who never did anything and had no personality just died. Welcome to the Magic Ghost Nazi arc. What bullshit plot twist will Ichigo pull out to avoid this problem? Surprise, it's just the power of Fuck Off I'm The Main Character. Richard Epcar is here so at least he'll get to have fun.

Exorcist- Ignore the last 6-8 weeks, the campus just had a bad gas leak but it's fixed now. Since when do normal people know about exorcists? Look if a kid's that stupid you should just call it a lost cause and leave him to die. What do you mean nobody knows about this place, you're setting things on fire on top of a building in broad daylight. Rin still fucking sucks. I'm just here to stare at that lady's massive honkers. Okay Boobzilla got me. It's not that complicated, his mom was an idiot and got knocked up by Satan. And then Rin died of carbon monoxide poisoning. It's a trap! There's a window right there just jump out of it. You're right dude I won't remember in five minutes, family expectations are the worst. I would absolutely just let that kid die, that's a valuable lesson about being stupid. Mephisto's just here to have a good time. Fuck off, Rin. Field trip time! He's gonna fuck this up in five seconds. Hey she got a haircut. I forgot why they're mad at him and I don't care enough to check. Caustic bitch still sucks. That top is really holding on for its life. Shura could not give less of a fuck just let her get day-drunk on the train. She's not trying to be nice she's just garbage. In a surprise twist, caustic bitch is the only one I respect here. Oh gee how can I trust you when you're the one who saved our dumb fuck asses from getting murdered. Okay but regardless of having power or not Yukio is still the bastard son of the devil too. Priest Dad was too cool for us.

One Piece- We take a week off and I have zero memory of what's going on, there was something about a factory I think? Oh right, Trebol is here and I hate everything. God I'd rip my own arm off to be caught and gently held by Robin. Can somebody sew Law's arm back on if you've got a minute? Oh hey, thanks Cabbage. I forget what beef Cabbage has with Doflamingo but everyone hates him for a reason. I love this dumb idiot bastard. Mansherry is so goddamn cute I'd die for her. Bartolomeo continues to be a goddamn mood and the most relatable character I've ever seen. Bro get off your high horse your organs are being held together with literal string and the sheer power of being a hater. Previously, during the entire series, this. Hey, my OG fire boyfriend. Law, still having the worst day. If you die here Cora's gonna be wating in the afterlife to beat your ass for being stupid. I like to think Luffy believes they're friends because he only saw the middle of Law's finger tattoos and thinks it says EAT and they have a common interest. Barto's got his priorities straight, save Robin and no one else. Everyone loves Robin. Derp bird just standing there is unreasonably funny to me. The great thing about this show is you can have a fight that's just string vs rubber bands and have it be pretty fun to watch. Oh right, we're all in mortal peril here. 30 minutes, that'll only take 20 episodes! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Genuinely hope Bellamy is dead in the basement. Nobody's having a good time here. I love Baby 5 so much, she's got her priorities straight. Oh my god no don't follow Zoro! Cabbage/Law is a ship I didn't expect and yet here we are. The shoes are off, he means business this time! Okay yes he looks ridiculous but let him cook. This show is a gift. Oh dang, the silly bouncey boy's got moves. Somebody just take one for the team and stab that guy in the dick. Also, he can fly now. Those marines are so fucking confused. Meanwhile Barto still having the best fucking day. Currently pictured: the world's angriest flamingo getting his ass beat by a bouncy ball. And now, the best kind of shenanigans.

[PokeNirvash]

Well now, this is a first... :3

12:00 - Lazarus #8 - Unforgettable Fire - TV-14LV
12:30 - Bleach: Thousand-Year Blood War #2 - Foundation Stones - TV-MAV
1:00 - Blue Exorcist: Kyoto Saga #2 - Strange Bedfellows - TV-14L
1:30 - One Piece #727 - A Massive Counterattack! Doflamingo's Awakening! - TV-14
2:00 - One Piece #728 - Luffy! An All-Out Leo Bazooka! - TV-14V
2:30 - Naruto #19 - The Demon in the Snow - TV-14V
3:00 - Sailor Moon #16 - A Girl's Dream: Usagi Becomes a Bride - TV-PGLV

[Greener223224]

What's the difference between 14 and MA?

[EmpressAngel]

I forgot how annoying so many Bleach characters are.

Lazarus- Well at least we can check if the polar bears are okay here. Tell us about your shitty ex, lady. Boruto is so confused. This douchebag will absolutely be dead by the end of the episode. Goddamn fucking Russians. Her tragic backstory is that she used to be ugly. The gang may be dumb as hell but they're good people. I'm disappointed that these randos don't all have bad Russian accents. And the boss's heart grew three sizes that day. Yep they were girlfriends. Literally fuck off, guy. Who cares about a world war when the entire planet is gonna die in two weeks? I like the robot bird. It's fine, Axel is on his way to kick things. Don't worry about that random boat, it's nothing. I'M IN. Girl's got some unexpectedly good skills with a steel chair. I think your arm's broke. The crane has betrayed you. I'm a simple woman, I just like watching dudes fight good. Robo bird, no! This has gone surprisingly well. Lady we're all gonna die in like two weeks we don't have time for a tragic backstory. This has gone suspiciously well. Shut up and kiss. LESBIANS, FINALLY. Goddammit we can't have shit in this show! It would have been really funny if they'd crashed into the boat with that air tank and just blew up.

Bleach- Sorry guy, your argument doesn't have a leg to stand on. Don't worry about it kid, we're just backup fodder. I'll admit, soul phone is a good pun. "This is an emergecy broadcast. We are fucked. This has been an emergency broadcast." Where the fuck did you come from!? Go back to your hot big-titty waifu form. Sorry guy, that's no way to get a head in life. I sure hope Hallibel's not stuck in the Nazi Ghost Rape Dungeon for the entire rest of the series. No we swear, the guy who's name you don't remeber was totally cool and you should care. Who the fuck are you!? I forgot how much I hate Nel's dipshit sidekicks. So why can't Orihime just fix Nel's helmet and turn her back into a functional adult? Fuck off, Ishida. Oh hey, Urahara exists. Of course he's at your place, he's fucking your hot dad on the side. Reminder that the entire reason arrancars exist is because the soul reapers sucked so bad at their one job of dealing with hollows. Shit's on fire, yo. I hope Dondawhatever is dead. Gettin' real on the nose with the Nazi imagery here. Oh great, it's those bitches who should have died years ago. I'm glad they're suffering. Oh great, it's more people I hate. Petty bickering is the same thing as comedy, right? Remember how Ishida was supposed to be the last quincy because they already killed all the others.

Exorcist- Everyone still sucks. Oh, you're that guy's brother. Hey Bon your mom is cute. That's a lotta poisoned redshirts. Charlie Brown knows he sucks and I respect that. Parents in this show hate their kid's hair. Meanwhile, melon shenanigans. "Hey random drunk guy, will you be my new dad?" Sorry dude your son's a dick. The strongest force in this show continues to be whatever double-sided tape is keeping Shura's boobs contained. I don't know who you are but all of you are annoying. Snaaaaake. Look at some point we all have to face the fact that our dads kinda suck. Look kids, Shura's here to get drunk she doesn't wanna babysit you going up a mountain. Did you find the beer kiddo? Drunk Rin is somehow more annoying than regular Rin. Tiny Bon sounds like Double D from Ed Edd & Eddy. I have no idea who this guy is with snake lady but I'm pretty sure they're banging. Kid I'm just gonna retire for a life of day drinking. Is anyone in this show likeable besides Shura? Those damn kids stole my beer! Priest Dad, still too cool for this show. Oh right, Yukio is here too.

One Piece- Even that baby is confused. Don't worry about the property damage, just blame it on the cage. Ah fuck I forgot Jesus was here. I hope Koala beats the shit out of Jesus. Zoro getting lost is my favorite running gag. Derp bird is suffering. Meanwhile, oh hey that factory. I love the tontottas they're so cute. Wait fruits can do that? Dude your organs are being held together with yarn, get off your high horse. And then everything was string. I would absolutely abandon that grandma to save my own ass. Rough time to be hospitalized in this town. I'm looking for my son Nemomonosuke! Everyone in this country is gonna have some real tough PTSD after today. So this could be going better. "This is an emergency broadcast. We are fucked. This has been an emergency broadcast." Start crawling on your busted legs, guy. Granny's fired up! That kid is actually wearing a Kuma shirt. 

Our only hope is this magical lunatic flying through the air and screaming. What you need now is a giant pair of scissors. That sure is a lotta string. This could be going better. HEADBUTT, BITCH. I like seeing that flamingo bleed. Is it over, did we win? Glad that's over, let's move on to the party. Oh hey the announcer guy's still here. Still bouncing here. No y'all we already did the fake Luffy. There he go. You should probably chain him up while he's knocked out. Uhhh hey guys why is the murder cage still up? You're gonna need to cave his skull in right now. Ah crap we're screwed. Fuck you, Jesus! Oh fuck off, random guy. Get this boy some meat right now. Ohhhhhh that bird is big mad now.

[PokeNirvash]

13 hours ago, Greener223224 said:

What's the difference between 14 and MA?

Oh, several things. TV-MA stuff is usually gorier, more profane, more explicit in its dialogue and sexual content, and in The Boondocks' case, daring enough to drop the N-word sans censor bleeps.

I could go on, but I know when and when not to gush about my hyperfixation so shamelessly, so I won't.

[Mr. Idea Box]

2 hours ago, PokeNirvash said:

Oh, several things. TV-MA stuff is usually gorier, more profane, more explicit in its dialogue and sexual content, and in The Boondocks' case, daring enough to drop the N-word sans censor bleeps.

I could go on, but I know when and when not to gush about my hyperfixation so shamelessly, so I won't.

In other words, seeing 200k viewers on Toonami this week would be more surprising. Got it.

[PokeNirvash]

And now the "TV-mature" ball is in Lazarus's court.

12:00 - Lazarus #9 - Death on Two Legs - TV-MAV
12:30 - Bleach: Thousand-Year Blood War #3 - March of the StarCross - TV-14V
1:00 - Blue Exorcist: Kyoto Saga #3 - Suspicion Will Raise Bogies - TV-14LV
1:30 - One Piece #729 - Flame Dragon King! Protect Luffy's Life! - TV-14V
2:00 - One Piece #730 - Tears of Miracles! Mansherry's Fight! - TV-14V
2:30 - Naruto #20 - A New Chapter Begins: The Chunin Exam! - TV-14
3:00 - Sailor Moon #17 - Usagi's a Model: The Flash of the Monster Camera - TV-PGV

[EmpressAngel]

Lazarus- This guy looks like a douchebag. Uh hey that dude shooting people with the giant gun is probably not a good omen. The lesbian is not doing well. That cat is a valuable and irreplaceable member of the team and you should respect him. Axel's just here to get laid before everyone dies. Meanwhile bald guy's here to fumble his shot with that lady again. Look on the one hand yes the gang kinda sucks but on the other hand, they look really cool during a fight. Goddammit Boruto you fucked us over. Again I ask, who cares about an international incident when the entire human race is going to die in like a week and a half. See, this asshole's about to kill everyone and even he's calling y'all out for your bullshit. I'm glad someone's finally pointing out that hey, what the fuck are we doing here. Can you army guys maybe wait a week for this shit to resolve before you start getting in the way? It's drugs, let's take it! I want this steak douchebag to get punched in the face immediately. You're gonna die in a week and a half, money is meaningless at this point, who gives a fuck. I do wish we could spend a little less time getting sidetracked and focus more on the actual main plot. At least the fight shit looks cool. That John Wick guy is really earning his money every time dudes kill each other. Oh good, the army's really just here to ruin everything.

Bleach- Not to root for the obvious Nazi but it is nice to see that all these people I hate got killed offscreen. Man, it sure is shocking that doing a genocide on an entire race of magical people didn't turn out well for the soul reapers. Again I ask, why can't Orihime just fix Nel's helmet so she can be a big-tittied waifu able to fight for herself? My dude we haven't seen a quincy fight in like 15 years, we don't know shit. Of course Orihime fixes all the unlikeable screaming assholes instead, because she can't do anything right. On the bright side, you don't have to put Ishida down like a dog. Can't wait to see how Ichigo bullshits his way outta this. Oh right, those screaming assholes had exactly one good attack. I feel like that thing looked less stupid last time. Hey, Ishida's hot shitty dad. Did they always have a giant library in their basement or is that new. I have no idea who that guy is but for a second I genuinely thought it was Aizen again. Reminder that the quincies wouldn't have so many hollows to destroy if the soul reapers didn't suck so bad at their jobs. Like, it really is bonkers how many problems in this series are a direct result of the good guys being incompetent dipshits for literally centuries. I like that the head guy's not mad that Mayuri slaughtered tons of innocent souls, but only that he didn't ask permission first. Oh, so y'all have been fucking up for a solid millennium actually? WHY WON'T YOU DIE. Hideously ugly Nazi man just finds a way to get even more hideously ugly every couple of minutes. It's fine, Chad will do something. You should have let the annoying sidekicks die. Hey look, people we know. Hey, Rukia's in this show! And then everyone died.

Exorcist- Hey it's not her fault you dumb kids took the wrong drinks. His dumbass brother is kinda fun. Fuck off, Charlie Brown. Because they won't find out he's Satan's son as long as you're standing there screaming about it in public. Maybe your dad wouldn't drink so much if you didn't suck so much. That guy is definitely going to die from super tuberculosis. Could y'all not have just destroyed that damn eye at some point? I don't trust those snake bitches. I didn't have Among Us Exorcist on my bingo card for this season. What, so now it's suspicious whenever you blow off your work to sleep off a hangover? Goddamn just let the man have a drinking problem in peace. Shiemi somehow sucks more than previously. In a surprise twist, caustic bitch is being a decent person for once. Noooo the little pokemon friend! False alarm, caustic bitch is still a caustic bitch. You're annoying, stop it. Thank god for Shura's boobs. We're here to day drink and babysit a fledgling arsonist. I hate you, Charlie Brown.

One Piece- That is one angry flamingo. Luffy's dying on the street, guys. So much for that "Hold on a couple minutes and help each other" speech I guess. Announcer guy with the surprise assist! Get that boy some meat immediately. Refractory period's a bitch ain't it. The strongest force in this series isn't haki or any devil fruit, it's Doflamingo's angry forehead vein not exploding when he gets mad. Namek will explode in five minutes. And then everyone died. Fuck you, Jesus. BOYFRIEND. I love Sabo he's just a really great dude all around. Careful honey, things didn't go well last time Luffy's brother fucked around with Blackbeard. You keep my dead boyfriend's name out of your whore mouth! God, Ace was hot. Ah dammit you're gonna make me watch him die again aren't you. BEAT HIS ASS, BOYFRIEND. Props to Sabo for figuring out how that fruit worked in like 20 minutes offscreen. He's so cool. JYB's really earning that paycheck tonight. If the birdcage doesn't kill you, Doffy will kill you with his bare hands.

To shreds, you say. And then everyone died, again. Above all else, we gotta save Baby 5 so she gets a happy ending. Look don't ask me how it'd work but Hadjruden can get it. Zoro in a rare moment using all five of his brain cells. Save Derpbird at all costs, too. It's fine, I'm sure the giant paintbrush will save us. Maybe Kanjuro can paint a shittier version of the birdcage to get out of it. I love Franky with the tontottas. This could be going better. The hell do you people expect the king to do? Meanwhile, it's not Easter but we should still kill Jesus. Law, still having the worst fucking day. Franky's the best. I feel like if Barto died here he'd still consider it the best day of his life. Namek will explode in four minutes. Those redshirts sure are trying their best. We stan a simp king. I like that Grandpa's shoving at it with his stupid busted head. Mansherry is precious and we don't deserve her. To cry that much, they made her watch the opening scene from Up on a loop. Oh hey Law, how's it going?

Edited June 4 by EmpressAngel

[PokeNirvash]

Last week's Lazarus promo: "Leland's a mole!"
This week's Lazarus promo: "Leland's loaded!"

12:00 - Lazarus #10 - I Can't Tell You Why - TV-MA
12:30 - Bleach: Thousand-Year Blood War #4 - Kill the Shadow - TV-14V
1:00 - Blue Exorcist: Kyoto Saga #4 - Act of Treachery - TV-14LV
1:30 - One Piece #731 - As Long as We Breathe! Stop the Deadly Birdcage! - TV-14V
2:00 - One Piece #732 - Dead or Alive! A Fateful Countdown! - TV-14V
2:30 - Naruto #21 - Identify Yourself: Powerful New Rivals - TV-14V
3:00 - Sailor Moon #18 - Shingo's Love: The Grieving Doll - TV-PGLV

Edited Sunday at 01:11 AM by PokeNirvash
Nevermind, managed to find something at the last, uh, third hour.

[Blatch]

13 hours ago, PokeNirvash said:

Last week's Lazarus promo: "Leland's a mole!"
This week's Lazarus promo: "Leland's loaded!"

12:00 - Lazarus #10 - I Can't Tell You Why - TV-MA
12:30 - Bleach: Thousand-Year Blood War #4 - Kill the Shadow - TV-14V
1:00 - Blue Exorcist: Kyoto Saga #4 - Act of Treachery - TV-14LV
1:30 - One Piece #731 - As Long as We Breathe! Stop the Deadly Birdcage! - TV-14V
2:00 - One Piece #732 - Dead or Alive! A Fateful Countdown! - TV-14V
2:30 - Naruto #21 - Identify Yourself: Powerful New Rivals - TV-14V
3:00 - Sailor Moon #18 - Shingo's Love: The Grieving Doll - TV-PGLV

Fancy your previous comment about the caffeine, because I wasn't feeling too hot today either. Got almost to the 400 mg limit and it somehow still didn't help. 

[EmpressAngel]

What's gonna break first, my patience for Lazarus or the string holding up Shura's top?

Lazarus- I really wish the plot of this show was better because right now the fight scenes are the only thing carrying it. If covid taught us anything it's that people absolutely will not stay home when they're actively dying. Oh, now y'all care that everybody's dying in a week? Somebody take that pill and just see what happens. What are you up to, Boruto? Oh right, this stupid fucking subplot. I feel like we don't have time both in and out of universe to keep diving into everybody's backstories like this. Bitch sister, the entire planet is dying in a week, who gives a fuck. WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS YOU WHINY SHITS. Yes, it must be so hard to be unfathomably rich and powerful. Somebody get a roundhouse kick to the face already. Who the hell is bothering to open this steakhouse every day? The weirdest kid in the world asking for the science guy's autograph. What in the Batman shit is that suitcase. Who encrypts organs?! The antidote is coded into Axel's kidneys or some shit. Oh boy, another sidequest we have to complete. Of course the government wants to waste millions to kill this one dude who just knows about some shady shit when they entire planet's about to die. NOT THAT POPCORN BITCH AGAIN. Make with the cool fight scene already or shut up. 

Bleach- Aggressive German intensifies. This would hit a lot harder if I liked any of these characters. You're not gonna win here, Dimestore Aizen. RIP Dimestore Aizen, he sucked and failed. I think this guy was one of those Visored guys but I can't be assed to remember. Where the fuck did these names come from. Hey, Renji gets to do something. Hey look, people I remember. Meanwhile Mayuri casually committing several war crimes on his lunch break. That luchador guy seems the most annoying and I hope he's dead. The strongest force in Soul Societ isn't anyone's bankai, it's whatever Matsumoto uses to keep her boobs in place. Yeah, do it for that one guy who died that everybody definitely cared about! Wow, all of you are really fucking stupid. GUN. Renji you dumb bastard did you not see what just happened. Meanwhile Urahara, not giving a shit. Can't wait to see what bullshit plot twist is gonna explain why Ichigo's bankai can't get stolen. Hey look, Urahara's capable of giving a shit. Thank god the teenager we depend on for everything is coming to save us. Hey kids, wanna loot a corpse for me? Oh hell what now. Thanks Chad you were a big help. WHY WON'T YOU DIE. Yeah sure that'll definitely work. 

Exorcist- Act less suspicious, my dude. Hey, something tells me he might be evil. Rin move your head I can't see Shura's ass. Hey, he did it and it only took like a season and a half. I hope Mephisto's having fun offscreen. False alarm it was snake bitch all along. In a surprise twist, everyone is evil. Hey now Mephisto's not evil he's just here for shenanigans. God forbid you just ask a guy a fucking question before you start fucking around. Shura's not drunk enough for this. The most threatening presence of all, some middle aged dude in a trench coat. She definitely fucked that teacher. So they really just keep that thing in an unsealed jar, no lid or anything? Can't a man just be an alcoholic in peace in this town. Lotta shitty sons in this show. PTSD's a hell of a drug. Kinda hard to take this seriously when Shura's boobs are jiggling all over the place. COMMENCE THE JIGGLING. I love my drunk wife she's the worst with kids.  

One Piece- I like that guy hauling Usopp on his back like a sack of potatoes. That is one angry flamingo. Y'all are absolutely gonna die but I respect the spirit. Can we get Rebecca some clothes after this? Hey girl sorry about treating you like shit for the last 10 years by the way. For a second there Rebecca almost got to help with the action, that was a close one. Silly Rebecca, you know you're not allowed to do things. Damn she's hot. Quick, distract him with his boner for like three minutes! It's fine she landed on her massive boobs. What factory. Props to Fujitora again for being a genuinely good dude. Since when could all these navy redshirts use haki?! The biggest plot twist is the navy being actually helpful for a change. Barto I appreciate the confidence but you're putting way too much stock into Zoro's thought process. Fujitora can't see shit, somebody tell him what happened. "Go Zoro, now we don't have to die!" Whelp, we're boned. Viola's fruit makes no sense but I'm not gonna question it. And Rebecca's here to...exist I guess. Viola could stab me and I'd thank her. Goddammit Rebecca. Namek will explode in one minute. 

God I wish Rebecca was a better character. Lol now the navy cares. I love Baby 5 so much. Mansherry open your eyes and make sure none of those puffs are landing on Doflamingo. At least if you die, you don't have to put up with Rebecca anymore. ARE YA READY KIDS? I love this announcer he's great. Cabbage is gonna have a breakdown. I need announcer guy to follow me around as a personal hype man. ONE PUUUUNCH-wait wrong show. This turned into Wrestlemania and I'm not gonna complain. Announcer guy is a gift and we don't deserve him. Oh right, those tears have a 3-minute timer. She's so cute! This is going too well. Announcer guy, no! LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOO ooor not. Anything but Rebecca please. LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOO, AGAIN. At least we got through Namek before dropping down to one episode a week.