Trunks Thread 19.1: A New New Frontier

[EmpressAngel]

Lazarus is fun and that's all that matters.

Lazarus- Don't do drugs, kids. I don't trust Popcorn Wizard. FAT CAT SIGHTING. I give it five minutes before Axel does something stupid but awesome. Yes hello we're just normal cleaners here to clean. Your old boss retired to give handjobs on the street, shouldn't be that hard to find. It's fine, Homeless Jerry is here to help. Jill is cute. Aww, that's sweet. I'd take a bullet for Jill, zero questions asked. Ooooh you just know there's some anti-woke douchebag making a Youtube video about this as we speak. This guy looks uncannily like an anime version of my high school biology teacher. Axel is either about to go bankrupt from basketball or swindle that boy for everything he has, there's nothing in between. Istanbul is Constantinople, you know. We gotta track down Granny Belinda for her recipes. Great job kid you don't stand out at all. CHEESE IT. Aw yeah the smooth jazz is starting we're in for some fun. Aww that little girl's adorable. He said the secret word! Well Boruto just got his hand chopped off, so we could be doing better. Gorge on your snacks now because we're all gonna die in a month. I'd die for you, Granny. I love Axel there are no brain cells in that skull of his. We just found a clue!

Exorcist- He's just barfing up a gallon of blood, that's probably fine. Surprise, your grandpa's a senile old dick. Meanwhile Mephisto's just here having a good time. Yukio is real dumb in this arc. Huh, guess you should have learned to control your powers too. Hey guys maybe you shouldn't have opened a portal directly into hell. No seriously what is the deal with Puppet Kid. "Hey kiddo, I fucked your mom." Double surprise, your grandpa's even more of a senile old dick! She was busy playing with the Animal Crossing snowmen. So anyway, I started blasting.  "After he killed my entire team, I decied to hang out and see how it'd go." Kids, your mom was really fucking stupid. Yeah, crazy how "I fucked Satan and he isn't so bad" didn't go over well with the church. This all could have been avoided if you'd taught that girl about condoms. And then she died, Star Wars style. So are y'all just gonna ignore that priests and cardinals aren't allowed to have kids either? We're gonna have to put Yukio down like a dog.

One Piece- God bless Zoro and his complete inability to think anything through. Pica's voice, still hilarious. Oh right, the marines are here to get in the way. Maybe should have evacuated the roof before you called him over to squash you, my dude. I hope that big guy can aim for the right direction because Zoro sure as hell can't. You're all very nice but very very dumb. These insults would hurt a lot more if they weren't coming out of the most ridiculous voice possible. YEET. And now Zoro will read a poem for our enjoyment. He's fine I'm sure he didn't need that torso. Dividing him up like a Kitkat bar. Pay no attention to the thousands of pound of debris falling from the sky here. We've reached the Dick Measuring phase of the fight. Hey, Mihawk. Remember that time Zoro got murdered. Barto, still having the best day ever. Zoro's so cool. Oh right, we're still in mortal peril. One Punch Egg, to the rescue!

I see that title and start screaming because how the FUCK are we not done with Bellamy yet?! Mihawk is so cool. Oh that's just cruel, sir. Zoro learned haki purely to support his drinking problem. Fujitora is a good dude I wish he was my grandpa. What factory. Good job little guys I'm proud of you. Why the fuck is Trebol still here. Mansherry is so goddamn cute I love her so much. Kyros is the best. By the way, the entire kingdom's on fire. Our only hope rests on a hyperactive glutton and a man actively bleeding out of his severed arm. I love Koala so much. Boyfriend get in there and help your girlfriend! You said the magic word and now he's on the way. I'm surprised Zoro climbed up the right tower. Oh right, the giant birdcage that's gonna kill us all is still there. Fucking christ can Bellamy just die already. I...I think I might actually hate Bellamy more than Foxy. Thank fucking god we're done with him, it's an Easter miracle. Meanwhile, Law's fucking dead.

[PokeNirvash]

Protip: whenever Toei says a character is dying this episode, 9 times out of 10 they don't, really.

12:00 - Lazarus #4 - Don't Stop the Dance - TV-14LV
12:30 - Common Side Effects #9 - Cliff's Edge - TV-14LV
1:00 - Blue Exorcist #24 - Satan's Spawn - TV-14LV
1:30 - One Piece #721 - Law Dies! Luffy's Raging Onslaught! - TV-14V
2:00 - One Piece #722 - A Blade of Tenacity! The Gamma Knife Counterattack! - TV-14V
2:30 - Naruto #16 - The Broken Seal - TV-14
3:00 - Ginger Root's SHINBANGUMI: A Music Movie - TV-14

Edited yesterday at 12:22 AM by PokeNirvash

[EmpressAngel]

And it's that 1 out of 10 times that comes back to bite me in the ass!

Lazarus- I bet this hacker is a kid in a squirrel fursuit. I'm here for that cat. I see this crypto douchebro on my screen and immediately recoil in disgust. We're banking that he's into 12-year old girls. No let Axel go offscript it'll be fun. No let her drink more it'll be fun. What, you're gonna cut his arm off for his tattoo? Well let's hope the fake girl plot goes better than it did for Ginro. I hope we see these crypto douchebros die. Now that's a hell of a drink. Oh no kid you're gonna get roofied. ENHANCE. I am deeply uncomfortable with this. BEAT HIS ASS. Damn girl you doin' anything later? They are getting good use out of every dime they spent on that John Wick guy. Please tell me he's gonna jump at the helicoptor. He jumped at the helicoptor! All women hate you and that includes your autopilot. There is a machine gun strapped to the drone and I'm here for every minute of this. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. Let them die. If your parents give you a name like that's it's 100% because they hate you. Oh no, the monkeys!

Exorcist- This is the least threatening demon I've ever seen. Grandpa continues to be the biggest senile old bastard. "Hey kid, I fucked your mom." Kids you are all very stupid. And then everyone died. It's fine, Boobs will save us all. Death by enormous boobs is exactly how I want to die, don't judge me. Snaaaaake. In a surprise twist Satan's actually really strong, y'all. Shocking how trusting Satan to knock you up didn't go well. "Hey, the chick with the cans is back" is also how the Starbucks across from my work recognizes me. Old man you realze 99% of the students have no goddamn clue about all this demon bullshit, right? Shiemi, real fucking dumb til the bitter end. Hey guys have we tried just asking Satan nicely to pretty please stop? I wonder how season 2 is gonna retcon all of this in a couple weeks. TFW you're naked and restrained by dozens of soulless mini clones of yourself as you try to escape from hell. Bro you shot me! Yeah sure this is what their dipshit mom dreamed of for her children. Oh right, Satan's still here.

One Piece- God I wish Bellamy was dead. Yes I know what that title says but this is not my fault. Law is still having the worst fucking day. I refuse to believe Trebol is the second strongest member of that crew. In case you forgot, Law has never had a good day even once in his life. I miss Cora. Hey I know you were trying to kill me but instead, how about you die to make me immortal? Man, Law is hot. That's some real big talk for a guy missing one limb and half the blood in his body. Ohhh now he's mad. I like that Kanjuro's shitty, shitty ladder is still there. Yes Doflamingo is an evil bastard but he's just so cool. Please tell me Bellamy is dead. While you were busy yelling at Bellamy, Law got shot like nine times and died. Fun fact, in real life if you try to fight the flamingos the cops come and you get banned from the zoo. Ah shit, string's moving. Law you know damn well that boy cannot follow a plan, save your breath.

Remember gang, if we win then everybody gets a rimjob from the newly-disposed king. You gotta save that giant gorilla at all costs! Fuck them kids, don't trip if you don't wanna die. We have to stop this, Baby 5's got a wedding to plan. It's hella cold that he's ready to dice up his own crew over a little tantrum like this. Fuck oooooff, Trebol. Luffy's only two thoughts are FIGHT and EAT, your evil monologue is wasted here. Big deal, I've been destroying my body from the inside out with hazardous amounts of energy drinks every day for ten years. The sheer nuts you have to get shot on purpose. Meanwhile, that random henchman is absolutely fucking dead. You've got about 30 seconds before Luffy throws your plan right out the window, make it count. BEAT HIS ASS. Now somebody please execute Trebol. Yes show I get it, I'm not allowed to have nice things. Can we take a second to glue Law's arm back on real quick? I miss you Cora you were hot.