Skiles

Your dad's asshole is quite voluminous, but I think I'll manage.

It's not about succeeding or failing, all that matters is that I did my best.

Sure, but does he have delicious dick pimples, like a certain someone does?

Oh, I will... I will.

I'M GONNA FUCK YOUR DAD

Man: "...YOU'RE MY DENTIST."

Well, there goes our chances of landing a big corporate sponsor. Thanks a lot.

Bitches love cheesy balls, yo.

No.

I, uh... I don't know what this means.

That's the thing my sig is a reference to!

And to be fair, I didn't know the person all that well. Maybe she had the herps. If it starts to itch and tingle, we may have a problem.

It's bright red and slowly inflating. But presumably it has goop in it, so it's like a water balloon.

I consider myself an up-the-shaft kind of guy, y'know?

Nah, I haven't done a sex in a couple years.

Maybe, but I don't really get hair on the shaft itself. And the bump is about half-way up.

I try to avoid graveyards. They're pretty hard to masturbate in.

I have a pimple, or maybe a bug bite, on the bottom of the shaft. So that's pretty neat.

Your knees are just leg knuckles.

Also, gloves are just pants for your hands.

Break their heart and ruin their dreams early. We can't have a bunch of kids walking around with their heads in the clouds, thinking the world is a magical place and shit. They need to learn right away that life sucks. I tell my two-year-old nephew every day that everyone he loves is going to die someday.

No, I don't, actually. I mean I wonder a lot of things about you, but that isn't one of them.

Now that's just going too far.

okay bye

A purrfect response.