Skiles

Oh, I will. I love shit like this. Not in the way I think it's intended, though. Or maybe it is? I don't even know.

But when I hear "bennies," I just think of Benadryl. I'm high as fuck on Benadryl right now, by the way. I took two about an hour ago (because my allergies are too fucking intense for one to handle), so now I'm a loopy mess. I should go to bed.

I'm sure there are plenty of beautiful women out there that could help you spin this into a real good time.

Here's a shitty, not-fun one. When I was a kid in daycare, I used to pick on this one kid. It hadn't even occurred to me at the time, but looking back now, I realize he was mentally handicapped. My bullying wasn't even about him being handicapped, I don't think I was even aware of what that meant. I just decided in my shithead mind that he was stupid and I didn't like him, so I hit him a lot and called him stupid. I was like six years old at the time, so I mostly chalk it up to just being an asshole kid, but that isn't an excuse. I was a dick. I still feel kinda bad about it sometimes. I wish I could find him now and apologize, because I really was a bully to him. I was a piece of shit for a lot of my childhood.

This one definitely makes me uncomfortable, and a little nauseated.

It's funny, I always kinda knew they were technically the same animal, but I only ever heard them called "crayfish" around here. So when I hear crawfish, it makes me second-guess myself. I've probably googled "crawfish or crayfish" eleven times in my life. But yeah, they're the exact same thing, called different things in different regions of the world. AstroCreep calls them "mudbugs" because he's 86 years old.

CALM THE FUCK DOWN Did that help?

Chris-chan is a national treasure, and I'll thank you to show him the respect he deserves!

Yes they are.

I could never date anyone in their early 20s, let alone 18-ish. Teenagers don't know shit about fuck when it comes to life. Gimme someone in their early thirties any day. Sure, sharing memes is fun and all, but I also like talking about actual shit. Not like "You'll never guess what I saw on Twitter today!" during every dinner conversation.

I'll keep my whore mouth open, thank you very much.

Fair enough. I may have to revisit them. Admittedly it's been a while.

I really like crawfish, although we call 'em crayfish 'round these parts.

We disagree there. Even the first one is kinda not great, in my opinion. And I like Sonic as a character, at least in theory. I remember liking the cartoon. But even the best of the Sonic games are extremely flawed.

You can apply this post to literally every Sonic game.

So you could change it to literally anything at all, and your answer is "I wouldn't have one"? C'mon, man!

Lame.

Going with the alliteration. That's cool. I actually think your first and last name actually make for a decent pro wrestler name. Dexter would throw a bit of a wrench into it.

I would go with Franklin, because I think Franklin is a funny name.

I'll never be able to reach such a high number.

Wow, that is pretty cool. I'm not gonna do another post so I can keep the count. Edit: SHIT

Now you're just trying to upstage me and take my moment of glory. You're the Marc Mero to my Sable. Which is a reference four people will get.