Skiles

He taught me that sometimes TV scientists I like a lot end up supporting shitty politicians I hate.

Fuckin' a, man! vs. Fuckin' a man!

I don't fuck with that dude. He's too unhinged, even for me. And I spent a long time in the homeless community, which is filled with very unhinged people. Poor guy needs some serious help, and he's damn sure not gonna find it here.

Maybe that's different, then. I don't know anything about sensible motorcycles, because the only ones I notice are the stupid obnoxious ones. So when I think of motorcycles, that's what comes to mind. Those bikes, and the people on those bikes.

I don't know if it's being high, as much as it's being allergic to literally everything I breathe in every day.

THANKS, OBAMA

I don't know about balloons, but I could probably ride one of those giant bouncy balls with the handles.

it

This all stems from being angry that I can't see over the handlebars.

"FOR KEANU" would make for a strange but kinda cool battle cry. In my teens and early 20s, when I was insecure about everything (especially my height), I might have let it bother me. Nowadays, nah. I'm an adult man who's 5'1". I know I was dealt a pretty weak hand. So I learned to be comfortable with the cards I have. Also, as I'm typing this, a commercial came on for Keanu Reeves appearing on the Tonight Show. So that's weird.

Wait a second, that isn't a picture of Snickers ice cream bars.

Also, let's say I did, in fact, have a straight-up micro-penis. I wouldn't let it affect how I act in public, and I wouldn't feel the need to overcompensate. That's the issue I have with motorcycle guys.

Well, ignoring that whole "I would sexually assault you" comment, I will say I don't have a huge monster cock, but I'm well within the average range. Maybe try not being so defensive, y'know?

Ooh, well, see, the nougat actually has the opposite effect.

I'm sure they're great. I think they have almonds in them, so I can't eat them.

I'm like a teapot!

I don't know if it stimulates sexual desires, but I do know that Snickers ice cream bars make me want to jerk off because they're so FUCKING good.

Cool. Next time I get a random call from my sister at midnight to chat, that's what I'm gonna think about. Thanks for that.

I'm defending him, per se. What I say stands, he still has a tiny baby penis. But the entrance was cool.

I thought that entrance was pretty cool, actually. His entrance at WM 35 was really cool, until Michael Cole yelled "HOW COOL WAS THAT??" Which immediately made it 97% less cool.

Wow, I didn't know Keanu Reeves has a small penis.

Well, get ready.

They probably did.

You're welcome.

Well, I hope it's cool. I get nervous about remakes, though. When they're done well, it's great, like Spyro Reignited. But when it's not, it's just a huge bummer. Cough, N. Sane Trilogy, cough.