scoobdog

You probably should be embarrassed.

Don't flip.

Smarter than your average construction laborer.

He must be paying, then.

No, it was not "4 hours ago."

Worst fucking birthday date ever: 1. Dick shows up smelling like asphalt and sweat... 2. ... 2 hours late... 3. Fuggs drunk drives for a fire stick remote... 4 ??? 5. ...while Dick orders room service. 6 Then you watch Aladdin and everyone falls asleep in their own beds.

You drove?!

No, you definitely do not.

Wait, is this dude scamming you for overpriced hotel food? You may want to hide his clothes in case he decides to bolt after "dinner."

What the hell is "cookout?"

In case all of these threads just completely disappear?

Over / under is the shower takes an hour.

If he waits another hour, he can wheel her into the room, give her a slap on the ass, be out the door to drop the cart off in the service elevator, and down the fire escape in... 15 minutes tops and she'll think it was a night too fabulous to comprehend.

And cousin's sloppy second dick is going on two hours late, too.

Or a racist .gif.

And now she's drunk. This will go well, no doubt.

Are you ok?

This. It's the only way to hang pictures.

And smell nice. Some of these fuckers here have the stank, man.

I don't think I've ever seen any of the flavored fritos in a variety pack.

Good thing I don't fap.

Yeah, that noise making sometimes sounds like the guy is putting a show for anyone in earshot. Like, it's a motivational thing - get you all inspired to destroy the toilet or something.

That it is.

You know... Not that the butt fumble isn't ignoble, but it certainly not the most egregious sports mistake ever made.

Fascinating.