Vamped

The whole thing is ugly XD

superheroes and important futuristic people in anime have those parental holograms encouraging them to be better XD

Waiting for Striking Vipers

Keep thinking its a hernia, you're actually pregnant with an alien baby

Im just going to say if the candy isnt chocolate, you can keep it Will make an exception for Now and Laters and Starbursts. Naholaturs

I just like to try and guess when he'll have to run

Guarantee I wont call but will text memes

I only play grab ass with people I know

Hummus but only the garlic kind

Let him nibble at your ladycakes while watching anime like Megan Thee Stallion

Shit Im late but Happy Birthday!

but does it account for the locations the employees just lie about it being broken because you're still not getting any ice cream from them either

He was new and they were just screening him like everybody that comes in the building and he just took the fuck off casually. Then when he did it next day, he was just sitting in the lobby then 2 seconds later

I'll preface this by saying I work at health facility ... so shit pops off all the time. This week however more than usual for me. So yesterday I thought I would be the usual level of annoyed but ... I'm waiting to be screened like everybody else and I notice Oh hey there's a new patient this morning. Cool. Continue to my desk, set my backpack down and I swear the minute it makes contact with the floor. The day fucking exploded The fucking new patient runs the fuck off. Just takes the fuck right off and down the road. They call the emergency code and then a horde of staff take off out the door That day I made the mistake of trying to be cute and doing my hair and putting on my nice clothes and wearing a pair of flat ass sperrys on my already flat ass feet but this is part of my job so I take off too Everybody else : Me: So then I realize .... I cant fucking breathe in this goddamn mask, my coworkers are stuck in the mud, falling in pot holes ... its just ... fucking terrible. One of the men finally catch up with him because he was apparently Kid Flash in a pair of socks and a Nike flip flops and the patient is just standing in oncoming traffic and the guy that caught him is like the nicest man in the whole building and he's pleading with him to get out of the street so he doesn't have to tackle him Several hours later I realize ... this fucking patient is in my group therapy session and he just keeps fucking getting up and walking so I have to stand at the door the entire time because I'm like .... you're not about to make me run AGAIN today. I'm too old and too fat for this ... got me out here running like Ice T in SVU. So DO YOU KNOW? This fucking jerk ... acts all cool this morning ... then casually ... runs the fuck off again today I'm just like .... I dont give a fuck, get hit in traffic So the police come and haul his ass away and I'm like thank god he's gone but I wore my running shoes just in case. So an hour before its time for me to leave ... they bring these 2 other patients back from a doctors appointment and THESE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY AS SHIT. They get out of the facility van and just fucking go nuts fighting and the staff have to pull them apart and restain them before they're calm enough to escort them back in the building like .... I just wanna go home. Im lying on this person's legs and then to top things off .... My stomach starts cramping like a bitch and I realize .... HOLY SHIT I'M STARTING MY PERIOD ... RIGHT NOW ... ON TOP OF THIS PERSON'S LEGS.