SwimModSponges

"Sweaty pussy"

Well shit, dont have any dye.

Can i just dye instead?

One can only assume so.

10/10 would read again.

How''s that fanfiction review going @ghostrek? I swear to god, if you don't read it, I will track you down, find your phone number, and read it to you. While touching myself. That's a promise.

I'm going to wear the alien costume I made for last halloween but never did anything with. It's hanging in my closet.

Havent played eso since like three months after it came out- too much online, not enough elder scrolls.

@ghostrek this is where you should post your reviews of my fanfictions that you promised you would do.

right click- paste as plain text.

Chapter 21 - Uneven Edge Exclusive Post Credits Orgy Spectacular! The constant pounding of the bass which echoed through velveteen walls of the Champagne Room was like a heartbeat; the regularly pulsating thump throbbing through the muffled walls of the chamber spoke to the mind at its most primal level, the instinctual evocations drowning out any hope of rational thought coalescing within the more advanced parts of the brain. The lighting within the small octagonal room was equally obscuring; the amber glow of the dim moodlight above barely reaching the dark red and black leopard print which adorned the walls. Within that darkness, silent shapes moved, circling around their prey. In the middle of this primal pit of passion, Deadpool sat up in a large round bed, watching as the shadows danced erotically in the darkness; the momentary flash of bare scaled skin visible as for an instant as the hunters moved too closely into the light. The pulsations of the bass within the room began to die down as the far-off DJ began to spin the next track. Distracted for an instant by the change, Deadpool lost track of the darkened figures which hunted in the shadows. The room around him was still; the only heartbeat he could feel was his own, the pounding suddenly amplified within his chest as he sat for an unbearable moment in the empty darkness. The darkness in front of him shifted as one of the figures stepped into the periphery of the light before him. Deep shadows still cast over her visage as she came forward just close enough that Deadpool had to squint his eyes shut (@Fuggiepoo) to be able to see her. The low light cast fierce shadows across her sharply contoured face, revealing a ferocious beauty. Her narrow birdlike jawline left no doubt that she was in fact a carnivore; and the yellow, slit-pupil eyes which set above high cheekbones held within them the piercing gaze of a beast mid hunt. Lower, the faint outline of her lithe frame was barely visible within the darkness; Deadpool could barely make out the curves of her small perky breasts as they gently rose with each of the creature’s quick breaths. His eyes were once again drawn to hers; their glow in the darkness mesmerizing. She opened her mouth slightly; thin lips parting to reveal a row of razor sharp teeth within. As Deadpool continued to stare down the hunter in the shadows, a slash of movement to his left startled him. He turned his head just in time to see another one of the reptilian women leap from the shadows; landing on a standing position on the bed next to him, his face mere inches from the pink opening between her emerald and white scaled legs. “Clever girl,” said Deadpool as a pair of clawed scaly hands wrapped around the back of his head, grinding his open mouth forcefully onto her wet cloaca. Meanwhile, back in the foyer of Xavier’s mansion, the lesbian orgy had only just begun. Kitty, who had entered the room wearing a lacy pink lingerie top with matching panties, was the first to initiate contact; reaching beneath the strap of Jubilee’s bright yellow bikini top and playfully running her finger along the length of the fabric, her fingernails gently rubbing across the tanned flesh beneath. Jubilee giggled nervously before biting her lip and leaning over to Kitty to steal a quick kiss; a kiss which was reciprocated as kitty’s lips followed Jubilee’s as they disengaged. Coming forward again more boldly, Jubilee’s open mouth once again clasped onto Kitty’s willing lips; her hands reaching downwards, gently caressing the sides of the lingerie-clad woman before her as her hands made her way to Kitty’s hips and the barrier of frilly pink fabric which sealed away her lustiest parts. Kitty’s attention shifted from the strap of Jubilee’s swimsuit as she moved her hand directly over the Asian woman’s small perky breasts, her stimulated nipples clearly visible through the yellow cloth. Kitty phased through the swimsuit top as she made contact with Jubilee’s waiting breasts, which heaved with nervous excitement as Kitty began to massage them. Next to them, Wanda Maximoff and Psylocke were in a similar state of engagement, with Psylocke having just removed Wanda’s black and red lace top as Wanda grasped Psylocke’s firm buttocks. She leaned her head back in ecstasy as the other woman fondled her now exposed breasts; a quick gasp of surprised pleasure breaking free from her ruby-red lips as Psylocke’s tongue lashed out at her pert nipple. X-23, wearing nothing more than a light silver chain which hung suspended between the piercings in her nipples, stalked over to the visibly shocked Jean Grey, forcefully grabbing her by the back of the head and pulling her into a deep kiss. Jean resisted at first, but the unabated passion with which X-23’s mouth consumed hers made her weak in the knees. After mere moments of resistance Jean folded to the temptation; her tense muscles began to relax as she gave into the seduction, her clenched hands loosening until finally opening and cupping X-23’s large breasts. Using her thumb to manipulate X-23’s nipple piercing, Jean pulled back and began kissing at her neck and collar bone as X-23 reached over and began to unzip Jean’s combat uniform. Mystique leaned in closely to Storm as they watched the scene unfold around them. She brushed the dark-skinned woman’s white hair aside and bent down to gently caress the nape of her neck, eyes never leaving the action. She kissed again, lower and deeper as Storm let out a low moan and reached her hand back down between Mystique’s legs. Stepping forwards slightly Mystique continued her kissed down Storm ‘s ebony neck as she reached into her combat suit and began rubbing the large chocolate mound of breast within. Legs now slightly spread, Storm’s fingers more easily found there destination within Mystique’s crevice. She gasped slightly as the first digit found its way inside of her, biting her lip and wincing slightly as the second entered. As the fingers rhythmically pounded in and out of her, both Mystique and Storm struggled to maintain concentration on watching the other women before them, but the temptation was too great. Spinning around, Storm dropped to her knees to better administrate to Mystique’s hungry beaver. She paused for a moment; intimidated by the fearsome creature which now stared her down. Above the mound of dark blue flesh a fire red shock of pubic hair tufted out in a small downwards facing triangle. Beneath this bright red arrow, the blue flesh gave way to a recessed compartment of pure pink musculature; within which her fingers were now tightly bound. She withdrew her long brown phalanges to the last knuckle, to the white bases of her painted fingernails; the corded layers of flushed silk wrapping them tightly all the while. With a slight twitch, Storm’s fingers moved within the final centimeter of Mystique's love canal. Her outer labia, glistening now with her own juices, quivered along with the movement of Storm’s hesitant caress. Gathering her courage Storm spread her fingers wide, the lips parting easily; a gaping maw opening wide to devour any and all that enter. She swallowed once involuntarily before parting her own lips wide and inserting her tongue as deeply as possible within the eager opening. Her teeth ground into the peak of Mystique's most sensitive part as she reached her maximum depth. Like a Venus flytrap Mystique’s inner walls snapped closed around the deeply buried tongue within. There it stayed for a moment, before the strain on her mouth forced Storm to pull back her penetration. Slowly, as the suction of Mystique’s vestibule was reluctant to give way, Storms tongue withdrew from Mystique; the bumps of her taste buds pressed tightly against the now saturated cords of flesh which closed in around it. With a quick jab, Storms tongue entered her again; the arc higher than before, this volley strumming the hidden nerve bundle which lay there. A quivering contraction shook through the flesh surrounding Storm’s tongue as she withdrew once more; once again momentarily raking across Mystique’s g-spot with the dorsal side of her tongue. The tip of her tongue meandered upwards, now focused on the throbbing clitoris which had descended from its hood at the top of the vagina. Flicking her tongue ravenously against the small fleshy pearl, Storm once again inserted her fingers. Mystique inhaled sharply at the at the assault, closing her yellow eyes and tipping her head back as she bit her lower lip. To her side, the sound of rustling cloth attracted her attention. Rogue, being unable to join in on the orgy due to her life-absorbing skin, had taken a place on the sidelines in order to observe the main event. Index finger raised to her supple crimson-purple painted lips, she bit down on her vinyl-gloved digit as her other hand worked one of the large breasts which remained hidden beneath the dark material of her combat uniform. She cupped the bottom of the large round mass of flesh and fabric in her palm, kneading the tissue roughly. Her thumb and forefinger latched onto her nipple as she began squeezing at the sensitive pebble of skin bound tightly beneath her restrictive clothing. She bit down harder on the glove, pinching and tugging at the nipple though the fabric. Mystique now stared her directly in the eye; her face intermittently contorted by small spasms of pleasure which rippled through her. Mystique adjusted her footing once again, now affording Rogue an unobstructed view of where she and Storm connected. Rogue’s teeth released their grip as a sudden twinge of pain cut through her entranced state; she was momentarily shocked by how forcefully she had been biting down. She slid her finger across her lips, streaking the lipstick in the corner of her mouth, before meandering downwards. In a single flawless motion the finger trailed down from her lips, past her exposed collarbone, down and around the other firmly bound breast and nipple, before finally finding its way down to the tight crotch of her combat-suit pants. She began to rub vigorously at the intersection of the seams; the friction caused by her gloved finger along the fabric between her legs creating a warming sensation which saturated through her clothing to the eager flesh beneath. She pressed her fingers as deeply into the flexible material as they could go, successfully parting her labia around them. A deluge of wetness quickly saturated the material which separated herself as she began to rock her fingers back and forth into the gap she had created. The first screams of orgasm came from Jubilee; a series of quick high-pitched chirps escaped her lips as the electric edges of pleasure began pulse through her. The chirps evolved to a rapid repetition of the word “fuck” as she finished in a high pitched squeal; kicking her legs out wildly as she was driven over the edge and lost control. Sparks shot from her palms, scorching the lacquered wooden floor as she grasped desperately at the smooth surface in a vain attempt at grounding herself. She was unsuccessful as another powerful orgasm shook through her almost immediately after the first had passed. Unable to take anymore stimulation, she reached down to push Kitty away from her unceasingly powerful cunnilingus, however her hand passed directly through the other woman’s head. Kitty, her face phased through Jubilee’s crotch, left only her tongue tangible as it wriggled deeply through her most sensitive parts. “No more, please,” she gasped as she reached down between her legs, cupping her hand around the thick puffy labia majora and the rapidly contracting vagina which lay within. She closed her legs around her hand, running an occasional finger through the sopping we gap as she attempted to catch her breath. Kitty watched her playfully for a moment before reaching for her chin and pulling her into a deep kiss. The taste of her own aphrodisiacal juices saturating the tongue which was now being thrust into her mouth was overpowering, and she soon found herself fighting Kitty’s tongue for dominance of the pink and ivory arena that was their combined mouths. Breaking free of the embrace, Kitty smiled mischievously as she pushed Jubilee back down. As she stood, the pink frilly lingerie faded though her, falling to the floor. She reached down with both hands; fingers raking through the wisps of sandy brunette hairs which adorned her mons pubis. Below them; the bright pink color contrasted sharply against her pale skin, hung Kitty Pryde’s large, meaty pussy lips. Grasping them with both hands, she stretched the wet membranes impressively wide as she descended onto Jubilee’s waiting face. Near them, X-23 had just finished removing the last of Jean’s clothing; the white cotton panties coming free from her pelvis with a tearing sound as the feral woman ripped them off with her teeth. Jet black hair darkly framed her face as she stared up Jean, a ferocious grin crossing her lips with a snarl as she grabbed her pale legs and flipped her onto her back. Before she could react Jean found herself staring up at her own ankles, clutched in the hands of the impossibly strong X-23 who now stared down at her, having not broken eye contact for the duration of the maneuver. Her nostrils flared as she hovered over the bright ginger patch of pubic hair which haloed the small lips of her pale-pink genitalia. Opening her mouth slowly, she extended a pierced tongue which pressed gradually into the rapidly moistening crevasse. A quiver of anticipation ran through Jean as the small adamantium barbell which poked out from the center of X-23’s tongue made contact with her clitoris. With a purr of amusement, she pulled her tongue back before swinging her body around and positioning herself directly over Jean, with one leg on either side of her head. Jean stared up at the savage cunt of the woman who now squatted above her. Jean gasped as once again the cold metallic barbell made contact with her stimulation-hungry clit. A fierce snarl appeared on X-23’s wild face as she smashed herself down onto Jean’s open mouth. Shocked by the sudden assault, she gasped for air as she twisted her head about; attempting to escape. Above her, X-23 rode her face vigorously while pounding her tongue deep into Jean’s pale snatch. Desperate for air, Jean attempted to scream out in submission, but her voice was literally muff-led by the thick layers of flesh, hair, and fluids. X-23 relented momentarily, lifting herself from Jean’s face as she withdrew her tongue. Jean lay gasping for a moment, staring again at the dripping quim above. She could feel X-23’s hot breath on her own moist lips; twitching in anticipation. Taking another gasp of air, Jean reached up and pulled X-23’s hips back down onto her face. She forced her tongue deep into the angry pussy which ground roughly into her face; above her, X-23 inserting a finger into her ginger minge as she manipulated Jean’s clit with her tongue. A crackle of energy hummed to life as Psylocke moaned and bit her lip, squeezing an erect nipple between her thumb and forefinger. Before her knelt the Scarlet Witch; who had momentarily paused in her cunnilingus. A red glow appeared around her hands, the energy coalescing into a bright neon phallus roughly nine inches in length. The beam of energy pulsed in her hands as she grabbed the ethereal wang. In a smooth motion, she ran her tongue from the base to the tip; her ruby red lips wrapping around the rounded end of the instrument, sucking like a lollypop before removing it from her mouth with a pop. The red energy beam crackled again with excitement as Wanda looked up at Psylocke lustily. Psylocke reached down; opening her moist, purple-tinged labial folds in anticipation. Both she and Wanda watched as the hot red shaft entered her with ease; the glow disappearing within her as Wanda pushed against Psylocke’s tight inner walls. Psylocke moaned as Wanda bottomed out within her, the fingers wrapped around the base of the psychic sex toy caressing her lower lips. Wanda lowered her head, again sliding her tongue along the vibrating beam of energy. As she reached the throbbing bead of Psylocke’s engorged clitoris, she wrapped her tongue around the small sensitive organ and, taking within her lips, began to suckle at it while sliding the glowing phallus in and out. Using her other hand, Wanda reached down to her own erogenous zone. Spreading her red lips apart with her thumb and middle finger, she inserted her index finger deeply into herself. Wetness dripped down her inner thigh as she worked both vaginas. Disengaging from Psylocke’s clit she stood; removing the finger from within her and placing it before the other woman, who eagerly wrapped her lips around the glistening digit. Reaching her hand out to her side, purple-pink psionic energy burst forth from her with a blinding flash. The energy phallus Psylocke now held was easily twice the size of the one created by Wanda, and her eyes went wide as she lay on her back; legs spread in preparation. Standing above her with a wicked grin, Psylocke sunk the psionic energy beam deep within her velveteen folds. Wanda gasped as the electric energy plunged into her; the tingling sensation within her unlike anything she had ever felt. Psylocke, now lying across from her, took the other end of the energy beam and pressed it into herself. She slid herself down its crackling length as far as she could, her nether lips brushing softly against Wanda’s as her thrust terminated. Their two genitalia sat kissing for a moment; their juices mingling as they enjoyed the electrical sensation which filled them both. Wanda pushed forwards first, shifting the beam inside them and rubbing their clits together momentarily before rocking back; this action was then mirrored by Psylocke, who reached a hand forwards to massage one of Wanda’s breasts. They moaned simultaneously as the scissoring action became more vigorous, the bolt of energy which connected them vibrating intensely as it pumped between their orifices. The moans evolved as the sensations became more intense; finally culminating in a shared scream of triumph as a simultaneous orgasm surged through them. Mystique, who had been watching the exchange closely as Storm‘s tongue and fingers worked her snatch, was also on the verge of orgasm. With a final vigorous thrust, Storm took her over the edge; she cried out in exhilaration as Storm’s fingers raked across her g-spot, sending waves of orgasm coursing through her entire blue body. Rogue tore at her combat suit as she watched the convulsions of pleasure before her; a single breast popping free from the restrictive material as she reached down to unzip her pants. Pulling them down to her ankle and sitting up on the desk, she spread her legs wide and began to rub herself through her see-through black mesh panties, which by this point were dripping with her wetness. As she watched; Mystique, still weak in the knees, bent Storm over and ran her tongue along the crevice of her sculpted ebony buttocks. She paused, momentarily, flicking her tongue across the winking brown eye buried deep within. Running a finger down the moistened trail created by her tongue, Mystique pressed at the balloon knot until finally it relented; allowing her finger deep inside the impossibly tight ring of muscle. Once inside, Mystique turned her attention to the mocha-tinged lips below. Storm cried out in ecstasy as Mystique’s tongue morphed and contorted within her vagina; mercilessly hammering against her most sensitive parts. Rogue, eyes still transfixed by the erotic show before her, pulled her mesh panties aside, revealing a white-streaked carpet that did in fact match the curtains. Her still-gloved fingers pushed deeply into her virgin pussy; the impeccably shaped lips wrapping tightly around the black vinyl as she thrust into herself again and again. Warmth spread up from her pussy as her self-fucking reached a fever pitch. She screamed as the built-up pressure finally broke; her suppressed sexual energy gushing forth as a torrent of orgasmic liquids burst free around her fingers, splashing wetly to the floor in front of her. X-23, still grinding against Jean’s face, came almost immediately afterwards in a shower of wetness that dripped down Jean’s face; the redheaded woman beneath her coming as well. Her shouts of ecstasy were muffled within X-23’s ferocious cunt, but the throbbing motions of her own ginger clit was unmistakable. Next to them, Kitty Pryde had grabbed onto the back of Jubilee’s head; phasing her hips through the Asian teen’s head as she roughly fucked the young girl’s tongue until she came. Storm screamed as Mystique inserted another finger into her anus; stretching the small hole impossibly wide as her tongue probed the black woman’s vagina to orgasm. All parties now satisfied to the point of exhaustion, the various X-women collapsed in a pile of sweat and orgasmic fluids. Meanwhile, in the Champaign Room, the situation could not have been more chaotic. Fear and exhilaration filled the dark room; the sole amber light having long since been destroyed. Within the darkness, Deadpool was both the hunter and the prey in a deadly game. His ammunition long since expired, Wade now held onto a small knife, his only defense against the monsters which stalked the shadows. With a predatory cry, one of the raptor-women leapt onto him, her dark blue scales shimmering in the darkness. Knocking the small knife away with a flick of her clawed hands, she brought her cloaca roughly down onto his exposed pelvis; a look of ravenous hunger in her glowing yellow eyes as she rode his dick ferociously. A fierce snarl crossed her face as she lifted her hand up to comb through her long hair-like quills. He stared up at the perfectly shaped scaly breasts of the reptilian woman above him, struggling to maintain his wits as her hot wet cloaca ground up and down the length of his cock. Like a flash of lightening she struck; her razor sharp talons ripping through the air towards his throat. He was barely able to dodge the sudden attack; her claws leaving deep gashes in the sheet and bed where hit head had been only moments before. Summoning the strength of his resolve, he lifted the creature off him and tossed her across the room. He was barely free for a moment before another of the beasts pounced. This time, however he was prepared for the attack, and caught the screeching woman mid-leap; twisting her around before slamming her roughly to the bed. Moving her scaled tail out of the way, he thrust himself deeply into the ravenous beast’s hole. Like a panicked animal he pounded at her, eyes constantly scanning; aware that at any moment he could be attacked but willing to risk it for the almost surreal pleasure found within this strange third hole; neither vagina nor anus but with the qualities of each. Against his better judgement, he released one of the woman’s clawed hands and instead grabbed a handful of her scaled breast. She hissed in protest. Searing hot pain tore through his back as one of the other beasts leaped onto him, tearing him away from his conquest and sending him to the floor. As quickly as she had attacked, she disappeared; leaving Deadpool alone once again in the darkness. As he lay there, a clawed reptilian foot appeared by the side of his head; another on the other side. Following the contour of the black and red scaled legs up into the darkness, he found himself staring up between the legs of the alpha. She issued a long, low hiss as the glowing eyes of the other females poked out in the darkness around him, eager for a taste of his flesh. Above him, the alpha squat down onto his face, burying his vision in her black-scaled thighs as her cloaca descended onto his mouth. He ran his tongue along her moist reptilian hole as predatory cries rang out around him; the other females attacked; he could feel his genitals raked across the sharp teeth and hot tongues of the raptor women as they fought to take his meat into their mouths. Occasionally, the mouths would disappear momentarily and be replaced by the familiar cloacal sensation as the feral creatures took turns riding him. All the while his tongue thrust in and out of the beast above him; probing her hot juicy opening mercilessly. She ground onto his face violently before issuing a load orgasmic roar which sent the other females running for the shadows. The beast stood, stalking now towards his abandoned cock. Kneeling down, she gingerly licked off the fluids left by the other females before taking the whole of his member within her fanged mouth. Opening her jaw widely, she took Deadpool’s cock deep within her throat, the warm wetness of her oral cavity sliding down his shaft as she gave him a blowjob unlike any he’d experienced before. As the head of his penis rubbed against the ribbed interior of her seemingly gag-reflex-less throat, she sent a long reptilian tough out to wrap around and fondle his testicles. Overcome by the sensations, his hips began to move on their own as they thrust deeper into the alpha raptor-woman’s throat. He felt a build-up of pressure as his cock twitched within her; begging for release. He found himself grunting uncontrollably as the sensation filled him. “Fuuuuuuuck!!!!!!” he shouted finally as he prepared to nut deep within the monster woman’s throat. In that instant; her razor sharp teeth clamped down. And that’s how you end a fanfiction baby.

Chapter 20 - Extinction event The Phoenix wrapped herself in flame and dove towards the xenomorph queen screeching below us; the heat of her fire pitting the carapace of the immense monster. Cyclops issued a massive blast of energy from his eyes into the creature’s chest, forcing it to step back into the jungle in hesitation. Wolverine charged; his adamantium blades extended. He leapt onto the gargantuan creature among the flames and began to climb up the beast with his claws; leaping from leg to chest, the needlepoint teeth and scythe-like claws of the beast slashing out at him as fire licked it sides. Logan leapt from the chest of the beast out onto one of its arms, racking his claw through the creature’s appendage as he ran down its length before jumping off to attack again. The screaming monster clutched at its new crippled arm as continue laser blasts from Cyclops’s energy vision pushed it back into the all-consuming fire sparked by the Phoenix. Twin explosions went off on both sides of the xenomorph queen’s massive cowl as I came to hover before it; the laser light of my shoulder cannon pointed directly at the creature’s snarling face. With a whip like crack the creature’s bladed tail shot out towards me as I summoned my voidspear to parry the blow. Swinging the blade around in a tight arc I pierced the segmented tail of the monster; severing it a foot from the chitinous spear tip end. The gigantic beast reached out in an attempt to snatch me from the sky and drag me into the consuming flames with it, but its grasp was halted by an energy blast from Scott which pierced through the monsters hand. Wounded and on the verge of defeat, the giant creature stepped back further into the fire, a dissatisfied hissing shriek issuing from its razor sharp maw. “It’s time I showed you all my final form,” I said as the voidspear in my palm began to pulse. Its surface, appearing like a hole in the very fabric of reality, began to leak out. Cracks began to spread in the air surrounding it; the reality chipping away like flecks of old paint, revealing the nothing beneath. I swung the weapon around my head, leaving nothing but a black and empty void as it continued to tear through existence. In a final act of defiance, the xenomorph queen crouched and lunged at me, jaws wide. I stepped past her attack in the blink of an eye, a long tear in the fabric of reality through which my spear had passed stretched out behind me. The creature’s gargantuan body fell to the scorched earth below it, having been separated at the neck by the infinite chasm of the void. Its immense skull fell to the ground next to it. Jean Grey screamed as the fire surrounding her extinguished itself and she fell from the sky. Cyclops caught her as she fell, asking her if she was all right. “Just confused,” she replied. “The last thing I remember was being in the caves. That and the immense terror. But it’s gone now,” she concluded. “Everything is going to be okay.” “I don’t know about that.” Said Logan as he looked around at the massive blaze that had quickly enveloped the forests as far as the eye could see. Thunder rolled across the expanse as massive cracks began to appear in the solid blue ice sheet above us. Small sections began to break free and fall to the earth below; their size seemingly growing as they hurtled closer to the ground. As they landed with a crash it was apparent that the smallest of these falling chunks of ice were the size of tanks. “Does anyone have a plan here?” asked Scott. “Professor?” The professor was silent. “I might have an idea.” I said. “But you probably won’t like it.” “We’ll take anything at this point” replied Logan. “All right, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. What I need you all to do,” I began. “Is tap your heels together three times and say ‘there’s no place like home.’” “Are- are you fucking with us right now?” asked Scott, his eye twitching. “I swear to god-” “There’s only one way to find out, Cyclops,” I said with a grin. Deadpool instantly attempted it, and upon completion he disappeared completely from the ash and smoke filled jungle. “See?” I said. “You had all you needed inside yourselves the whole time. That’s a good moral for a story, right?” “What the hell am I supposed to do?” shouted Xavier as the other X-men began to disappear as well. “What do you mean?” I said. “My legs are paralyzed, you asshole.” He snapped at me “Right, right, sorry about that.” I said. “Jean, you want to help him out with that? Thanks.” “There’s no place like home,” he said with a glare at me as Jean Grey bent to tap his heels together. In an instant the smoldering fires of the primordial jungle beneath Antarctica faded into the mahogany trim of his study. He looked around at his papers, his books, all exactly as he had left them. Deadpool waved from the far side of the room then resumed pouring himself a glass of scotch from Charles’s personal collection. The remaining members of the team all stood around the space. “God damn,” I said, fading back into their reality; still wearing my exosuit and awesome biohelmet. “Was that intense or what? You guys were excellent; that was a blast.” “What the hell is wrong with you?” demanded Xavier. “Look around,” he continued. “My team has been bitten, stabbed, and shot with projectile, incendiary, and plasma-based weaponry. We’ve been tracked by mercenaries, attacked by dinosaurs, hunted by predators, and abducted by aliens. We were responsible for the destruction of a million year old ecosystem, We have suffered damages physically, mentally, psychically, emotionally…” he trailed off, his rising anger blocking his train of thought. “Financially!” shouted Deadpool from across the room, having by this point abandoned the glass of ice in favor of drinking directly from the bottle. “I was getting paid to deliver the scientific breakthrough of the century. My buyer isn’t interested in a bunch of data from a smoldering crater.” He paused to take another long pull. “And another one,” he began, his speech slurring slightly. “That time I got cockblocked by those aliens. Rogue was totally going to sit on my face.” “My power would drain your life force; you’d pass out in like, five seconds, tops,” interjected Rogue. “It wouldn’t even be worth it.” “Believe me babe, it would be worth it,” he replied as all the men in the audience nodded in agreement. “So come on, you said I’d be compensated. Pay up.” “Of course, mister Wilson, of course.” I said as I walked over to a doorway which had just appeared. “I am a man of my word. Welcome to the Champaign Room.” I opened the door to reveal five anthropomorphic dinosaur women of extreme beauty, all scantily clad in caveman-themed lingerie. “Please tell me I get to touch the dancers,” he asked, looking over to me excitedly. “They would be disappointed if you didn’t,” I replied grinning. Could you do me a quick favor, and turn on that boombox as you leave? It’s time for the final credits.” Deadpool smashed his finger into the button as he ran through the door which closed and disappeared behind him. The screeching beat of Front 242’s Headhunter blaring through the speakers as a list of names began to scroll in front of us. “Stop this, stop it right now,” demanded Charles Xavier. “And who the hell is Patrick Stewart?” he said as he saw his own name scroll past. “Answer me!” “He was that guy who played Picard on Star Trek.” I replied. “Not that,” he replied angrily. “Did any of this mean anything? What was this all for?” “My own amusement, Charles,” I replied as Shadowcat, Jubilee, Psylocke, Scarlet Witch, and X-23 stepped into the room, wearing very little clothing. Jean, Storm, and Mystique joined them and they all began kissing each other intimately. “My own amusement,” I concluded as the scene before me devolved into a lesbian orgy, the industrial beat fading away as the boom box switched to the next song; Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley.

Chapter 19 - Red Queen “Scott, what is the situation?” the professor’s voice called out over the communicator. “Honestly?” began Scott as he carried the limp body of Jean Grey out over the rubble of the newly expanded cave entrance and laid her down in the grass beyond. “I have no idea. Every time I think I’ve seen the worst thing down here… it just,” he trailed off while wiping a stray lock of red hair from her brow. “It’s like Alice, when she came down the rabbit hole,” remarked Beast. “The Red Queen told her to run as fast as she could; but the world beneath her ran just as fast, holding her in place.” Jean’s body began to tremble beneath Scott’s grasp, the placid expression of unconsciousness replaced again with strain and fear. “You have to get her back here now, Scott,” said the professor over the communicator. “Understood,” Cyclops replied as he lifted her. “We’re coming back to the lander.” With that, the group moved out into the jungle, the flayed corpses of innumerable beasts hanging from the trees around them. A grenade went off against the stone wall of the chamber the combat had moved to; the large cracks in the masonry spread by the concussive force of the blast shown in light from the outside. Our battle had reached the top of the pyramid and also gained a new combatant; the spinning barrels of his dual miniguns unleashing a torrent of hot lead into the stonework around us as we dodged about the chamber. Another errant grenade blasted a large hole in the ceiling, through which the predator jumped out; myself in close pursuit. The predalien leapt after us; however its escape was blocked by another hail of gunfire. The beast leapt behind a massive stone pillar as the bullets followed. The predalien climbed to the ceiling of the chamber and jumped between the backs of the pillars in an attempt to outflank the mercenary, whose stream of bullets followed the creature’s movements closely. But he was not fast enough; in an instant the predalien lunged from behind a pillar, wrapping itself around the exosuited mercenary, holding his arms back and leaving him defenseless as it brought its secondary mouth down into the man’s skull. The abomination leapt off the armored steel battle frame as it fell to the floor with a loud clatter. It lunged towards the hole in the ceiling; and as its horrid fanged visage crossed the plane of the stone roof, it was instantly incinerated by a blast by the predator’s shoulder cannon. The headless and twitching corpse of the creature fell back into the chamber with a spray of acid blood. “It’s the circle of life,” I said to the ebony armored warrior in the raptor skull helmet as we stared each other down at the top of the pyramid, the massive severed head of the giant armored tyrannosaurid lying beside us on the ceremonial alter. I took a battle stance with my voidspear as the alien hunter readied his own blades for a final attack. The group ran through the jungle towards the lander as fast as they were able, the beating of their footsteps on the damp soul and the jagged gasps of their breath echoing through an eerily silent wilderness. Besides those, the only sounds which reached their ears were the thunderous steps and eldritch cries of the massive primeval nightmare which now stalked through the forest around them. “The lander!” shouted Logan. “It’s just ahead. Storm, get us up there!” Instantly they were lifted into the air as Storm manipulated the wind around them and set them all in the lander. Jean, who had been passing in and out of consciousness during the escape, began to tremble once again as Scott set her down on the floor of the lander. “Jean, it’s me, Charles,” Xavier thought into her as he began to reach his mind out to hers. “Jean if you can hear me right now you really need to-” He shot back in his chair as a sudden flame of psychic energy filled his mind. “Oh my god,” He said aloud. “What’s wrong, professor?” asked Scott as Jean Grey began to shake violently. “It’s here,” replied Xavier. “Everyone out of the lander, now!” he shouted as he unlocked his wheelchair and rolled toward the exit. The ceiling of the craft burst into flame as Jean ceased to shake, seemingly regaining control over her body as she rose into the fire which now spread from treetop to treetop. Soon they were surrounded by an inferno. “What the hell is going on with her?” asked Deadpool as he stared at the blaze, Jean Grey levitating above it, seemingly reveling in the destruction it was causing. “That’s not Jean,” replied Xavier. “That’s the Phoenix.” The earth trembled beneath their feet as the screeching cry of the behemoth queen rang out, the flaming trunk of a fully engulfed tree behind them being torn away as the massive Lovecraftian horror lurking behind stepped out to reveal itself. The fire around them roared with renewed vigor as it slapped at the flanks of the alien monstrosity which now challenged it. A line of small explosions ran down the line of the enormous beast’s back, each impact sending out a spirt of acid blood. The bullet holes were only pinpricks in the massive creature’s thick exoskeleton, but they were enough to draw the creature’s attention. I flew by for another pass, the dual miniguns of the exosuit whirling again into action. Using the targeting system of the ebony helmet, I blasted a bolt of plasma into the xenomorph queen’s face with my next pass; her skeletal cable tail whipping past me as I flew by, missing my armored skull by inches. I twisted in the air and flew up to meet the Phoenix where she levitated. “Time for the final battle,” I said grinning. “Honestly though,” I said, motioning down to my armored crotch. “I’m surprised you can’t see my erection through all this steel plating. Because this is going to be orgasmnic.”

Chapter 18 - No new chapter today. April fools. (Original air date- April 1, 2016) The three of us twirled around in a frenzy of blades and fangs as each of us vied for the upper hand against the other two. As I held off a blow from the predator’s elongated wristblades with the haft of my spear the predalien leapt back onto a column behind it to circle around above the fray and attack the predator from behind. The predator disengaged from me momentarily to grapple with the xenomorph born of his fallen brother; the monstrous hybrid’s teeth gnashing together centimeters from its bio-helmet, its razor sharp claws bearing down on his flesh. With great effort the ebony hunter threw the predalien beast off of itself just in time to parry a downwards slice from the blade of my spear. The predator stepped back and to the side, attempting to place me between itself and the xenomorph berserker that had quickly regained its footing and was now rushing towards us. I smirked at the alien hunter before fading out of existence just as the barbed end of the creature’s segmented tail sliced through the air where my chest had been an instant before. The predator was caught off guard by my sudden absence and was only able to avoid being fatally impaled by opting to take the wound in his arm instead. The xenopred whipped its tail back from the predator’s shoulder, trailing a long stream of bright green bodily fluid behind it. It attempted to alter its attack mid lunge; it too having anticipated my defenses instead of those it was now faced with. The predator brought his undamaged arm up in a forwards jab at his temporarily flustered opponent, the blades affixed to his wrists piercing into the lower jaw of the now dodging predalien in front of him. As he pulled the blades back to block the incoming blow from the abomination’s fierce claws, a single tusk, cut off at the base of the monster’s jaw, came with them. I re-materialized in the air above my opponents and dropped down into the fray spear-tip first. “We’re fucked now,” began Deadpool as the group reached Jean and Scott at the rubble which blocked the cave entrance. “No way out,” he continued. “I guess this is why you shouldn’t talk to strangers who offer you candy.” He kicked at a rock and sent it flying out into the darkness. “Looks like we’re going to die by getting ripped to shreds at the end of a dead end. What’s not to love about that?” “You need to relax,” said Rogue. “I know Sponges has a plan to get us all out of here.” “To hell with his plan!” shouted Scott, still consoling Jean who had a look of terror and agony plastered across her face. “Do you see what happens when we follow the rules? His rules?” Scott was seething with rage. “I think we need a new plan.” “And so do I.” said Logan, stepping forwards. “A full day has passed since we’ve come down here, maybe more. So far we’ve had zero input from him about how to escape.” A grim frown crossed his face. “The only thing he’s shown a commitment to so far is fighting that damn monster.” “And the alternative is what?” asked Rogue. “Goin’ it alone against these things and god knows what else down here?” “That’s exactly what I’m thinking of doing,” said Scott as he stared grimly at the caved in entrance. “Storm, you wouldn’t be able to freeze all the spaces between the chucks of rock, would you?” “I could get most of them,” she replied. “How would this help us?” “If we can use your ice to keep the rubble from collapsing,” Scott began, “I may be able to bore a hole out with my energy vision.” “Any other day I’d say you were crazy,” said Logan crossing his arms. “But I don’t see any other choice right now. Get to it guy.” “I just wanna tell you,” said Rogue as Storm and Cyclops began to prepare. “I think this is a bad idea.” “You need to understand how I’m feeling right now, Rogue,” said Scott, pointing to Jean who was still in the midst of a psychic battle with the ever-encroaching malevolent darkness. “No, I gotta make you understand,” began Rogue. “Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie, and hurt you.” I crooned through my communicator while narrowly dodging a blast of energy from the predator’s shoulder cannon. The battle had become mobile now, myself and the predator exchanging ranges attacks from across the sides of a long passageway as the predalien ran along the ceiling of the corridor whipping its tail back and forth between the two of us whenever the opportunity presented itself. “The party is headed towards you guys right now. So you can make an attempt at drilling through, but you’d be much better off hiding for the time being. There’s going to be a huge hole in the wall any minute now anyways.” A massive bio-mechanical roar echoed out from the tombs below, loud enough to be deafening even through the tons of stone which made up the structure. The earth surrounding us trembled as something enormous moved just out of sight. “It’s coming!” cried Jean again; her head shooting back suddenly, ashen-faced and bloodshot eyes wide with terror. She let out a plaintive cry as the trembling came again, closer this time. A massive chitinous hand, its razor sharp claws longer than a grown man, wrapped itself around the section of cave wall which separated the group from the tombs ahead. “It’s here!” she cried a final time before passing out in Scott’s arms. The group quickly hid behind the various stone formations of the cave as the massive creature pulled the sheet of sediment back like a curtain and revealed its full and terrifying form for a brief instant before effortlessly breaking though the pile of rubble and stepping out into the jungle beyond. “What the fuck was that thing?” asked Deadpool, dumbfounded. “That’s what you get when you breed a xenomorph queen from a t-rex.” I said over the communicator. “God damn, I’m so hard right now, you have no idea.”

Chapter 17 - Alien vs Predator “This is Scott! Does anyone read me?” The voice of cyclops screeched out of our communicators. “I’ve found Jean,” he continued. “She’s safe, but she says there is some form of malevolent psychic energy beneath the temple unlike anything she’s ever felt. We’ve pulled back to the caves for now and it’s given her some relief. She can’t go back in there and I’m not leaving her, understand?” “Loud and clear Cyclops,” I replied. “We’re doing all the heavy lifting while you chill out in a cave with your girlfriend. Oh, and fun fact, orgasms has been scientifically proven to sooth the pain of a headache. So… you know. Give the people what they want and all.” “God damn it Sponges,” replied Scott with a sharp click as he turned his communicator off. “Ah, but you forgot to turn your body camera off.” I said to myself under my breath. “That’ll be a fun little gift for all of my subscribers out there.” “So, what’s our next move?” asked Wolverine. As he spoke the shifting stones of the tomb again began to groan as they rearranged themselves, again revealing the passageway taken by the predator. “Well all right then,” he said, taking that as an answer. We followed closely behind as the passage sealed shut behind us. We were once again lost in the mazelike barren stone corridors of the primeval structure, Logan tracking the scent of the monstrous hunter down endless dark intersections and switchbacks. Suddenly he froze, sniffing the air. “What is it, Logan?” asked Rogue. “There’s somebody else down here with us,” he said. “But there’s something else too. Something… mechanical.” As he spoke, the green pinpoint of a laser sight shone out form the darkness towards him. “Shit, get back!” he shouted as a burst of heavy machinegun fire tore through the air, bullets embedding themselves deeply into the stone wall we had stood in front of a heartbeat before. Behind the deafening barrage of the gunfire, there was another sound; the heavy pounding of massive steel boots running in our direction. “Oh, excellent,” I said as we ducked behind a section of masonry beneath a hail of gunfire. “They’ve brought exosuits.” The mercenary reached the entrance to the chamber we were occupying and stepped inside; his entire body coated in an armored metallic exoskeleton that increased his size to slightly larger than the predator we had just faced. In each robotic hand, he carried a tri-barrel minigun with a grenade launcher attached beneath. He paused as he scanned the room with his fancy helmet. “We should probably go now.” I said as the architecture again began to morph around us. An explosion rang out behind us as the armored mercenary launched a grenade into our previous position, the shifting stonework protecting us from the shrapnel. “Fuck!” shouted Wolverine as he rushed into a small chamber, the open-tusked face of the predator appearing suddenly in the darkness mere inches in front of him. Instinctively he brought his claws out and thrust them deeply into the monster before him. He looked down and saw that his entire fist had entered into a cavernous hole in the predator’s chest, the neon-green blood and organs of the alien hunter still warm around his hand. He pulled out quickly in shock and looked down to see the twitching body of one of the crablike alien parasites next to the deceased predator. “Well, that’s one problem solved, I guess,” remarked Deadpool. “Now what about them?” Looking around, we could see that we were now back inside of the hive. The festering walls of the egg filled chamber began to slither with the movements of an awakening alien horde. “Through there,” said Storm as she pointed to the arch of what had been a great stone doorway, but was now infested with xenomorph webbing to the point of being almost unrecognizable. We ran through and down the hallway beyond, aliens pouring from crevices in the walls behind us, adding to an ever growing swarm of the insectoid hellbeasts who now stalked behind us in the darkness. A loud thump burst out through the tunnel as a detachment of the slithering nightmares was blow away in a cloud of flame and acid blood. We continued to dodge out of the way, narrowly avoiding the stream of bullets which flew from his dual miniguns, the hot lead slicing through the carapaces of the aliens around us like tissue paper. The majority of the creatures tuned to face the armored mercenary who now posed a greater threat to them than we did; moving as one biomechanical unit to defend against their new attacker. As we ascended a giant stone staircase that had risen suddenly from the floor we were followed by only a handful, which now followed far more cautiously. The aliens had all but disappeared as we reached the top, and as our line of sight crossed the zenith or the staircase we could see why. Standing by a console in the chamber before us was the ebony armored predator. The alien hunter let out along clicking laugh as it activated the button. “Oh God!” screamed out Jean in agony over the communicators as well as our very minds. “It’s coming!” she screamed. “It’s coming!” The transmission fell silent as a deafening roar echoed out through the structure and the world around us shook. “You guys get to Jean, now” I said as I stared down the beast in the raptor skull biomask. “This one is my fight.” I began walking towards the predator as the rest of my group went back the way they had come. When I was within 10 paces or so I reached out my hand and formed the voidspear within my palm. The ebony predator took a battle stance and extended his double sets of wristblades. At the periphery of our battleground the xenomorphs circled like hungry jackals; eager to pounce on and devour the loser of this contest, and the winner as well if they were able. Chitin rustled above as a third combatant dropped down before us. It was much larger and bulkier than the other xenomorphs, and had a slightly more brownish green skin tone. Long spines of black tendrils shot down from the creature’s elongated skull. The four predator tusks which surrounded the monster’s already ferocious double jaw were flared out in rage. The behemoth predalien issued a ferocious challenging roar and attacked.

Chapter 16 - MORTAL KOMBAT! Storm attacked first; a brace of ice flechettes materializing at the tips of her fingers before being flicked out at the predator with great speed. Just as quickly the hunter drew his spear weapon and, with reflexes trained by untold centuries of extra-terrestrial martial arts, deftly shattered each of the shafts of ice mere moments before they would have impacted. The dreadlocked beast returned to a defensive battle stance and beckoned for another round. Storm summoned thunderclouds around herself and shout a massive bolt of lightning into the beast. Again, the predator intercepted the blast with his spear, the energy charging into his battery reserves. It snarled as its shoulder cannon glowed to life and issued a blast towards Storm. Summoning a massive gust of wind Storm leapt quickly out of the way of the blast, but the beast had anticipated her move. As she landed, the predator’s outstretched hand was there to greet her. She coughed and doubled over as the force of the impact sent her flying back. The alien material of the predators spear glistened in the darkness as it spun around in an elaborate flourish before arcing down for the final kill stroke. The sound of metal scraping against metal pealed out as Wolverine’s adamantium blades intercepted the trajectory of the spear’s final descent. “Come on you ugly son of a bitch!” said Logan as his interlocked claws held the monster’s spear in place. “I’m the one you want here.” “I like your style, bub,” his own voice was reflected back at him in the distorted tone of the predators mimicry device. The predator’s extending spear collapsed as he spun around for a high-velocity kick at Logan’s midsection. Bracing for the impact with his left arm he swung his right fist towards the face of the monster, utilizing the kinetic force of the beast’s attack against itself. It jerked back, Logan’s claws raking against the opulently carved silver of its mask. A pair of the creatures black corded dreadlocks fell to the ground, too slow to avoid the attack. Logan’s barrage continued with a low kick aimed at the monster’s knee. This blow was intercepted, however, as the clawed hand of the predator wrapped around Wolverine’s foot and threw him across the room easily. Wolverine’s head struck the stone masonry with a violent crack as he fell motionless. “You know, y’all could be helping,” shouted Rogue as she stood alone to challenge the hunter next. Wade and I sat on the cold stone (creamery- $10 in ad revenue) floor of the tomb, enjoying the show. “I am helping,” I said, pouring popcorn into Deadpool’s mouth, his arm stumps incapable of holding it himself. “What do you want me to do, gnaw on him?” replied Deadpool through a mouthful of popcorn. “Just believe in yourself, Rogue. You can do this.” I continued. “We believe in you.” Deadpool nodded as she rolled her eyes and turned back to face her opponent. The predator placed its arms behind its back and stood, waiting for Rogue’s attack. Her first strike was an upwards jab of her palm aimed for the chin of the beast towering before her. She followed this swing with a low underhand punch to the creature’s midsection and finally a high spinning kick again aimed at the armored head of the monster. The samurai-like hunter effortlessly sidestepped each blow, and as Rogue concluded her combo he reached out a hand to push her roughly in the shoulder, sending her to the ground. Stepping back, the predator again assumed the pose with his hands behind him. “Shit, I might have to gnaw on him if it keeps going like this,” remarked Wade. I smacked him sharply across the head. “We believe in you Rogue!” he shouted encouragingly. “Seriously though,” he said under his breath as he turned to me. Rogue again stood and unleashed a barrage of attacks, the predator continuing to deftly outmaneuver each strike. Mid-swing, the monster reached out to grab her wrist. “Wrong move,” she grinned as she extended her gloveless hand to grab the predator where it held her. The beast seized briefly upon contact with her skin, as a guttural roar issued deeply from within Rogue’s throat. Her mouth opened in a wide grin of bloodlust as the alien hunter’s life essence flowed in to her. The creature pulled back and attempted a counterattack, but Rogue could see the movements to his form before they were happening, the full knowledge of his martial arts training now temporarily imbued to her. She effortlessly sidestepped the blow and spun around to deliver a devastating kick to the monster’s midsection, her force amplified by the alien power which now flowed through her. She continued her attack, reigning blow after blow down upon the beast who was now forced onto the defensive. With a final kick, the predator stammered backwards as his mask was torn from his face. Rogue stood, panting heavily; the effects of her power draining her quickly. The predator turned back to face her, staring her down before drawing his spear for what would be his final attack. “Uh, uh,” the strained voice of Storm creaked out as she regained her feet. “It’s my turn again.” The beast turned to her as Rogue collapsed from exhaustion behind it. Storm crouched down into a battle stance; bringing her arms to one side, her hands together. Between them, a golden ball of lighting began to develop. “AHHHHHHHH!” she began to shout as she built up energy. A wind picked up around her and soon she was surrounded by a burning glow as she condensed the electricity in the air to her. The predator’s shoulder cannon began to glow blue as it too began to charge up for an attack. Storm thrust her arms forward, her palms extended as the blast of energy shot out toward the beast, who had also fired his plasma weapon. The two bolts of energy met in midair with blinding force as an explosion filled the corridor. Storm stood panting as the dust settled, Wolverine, Rogue, Deadpool, and I rising to stand with her. The predator was nowhere to be seen. A crushing noise filled the chamber as a hidden passageway sealed shut. “He must have gone through there,” I said as I reached down to pick up the predator’s abandoned environmental helmet. “Rogue, Storm, I believe you’ve earned this.” I said handing it to them. “Nice little conversation piece.”

Chapter 15 - Labyrinth But there was unfortunately no time for oral sex. The walls around us began to twitch and quiver; the black abyssal spaces between the bodies implanted among the web work suddenly sprang to life as, hissing with malice from a hundred locations, the xenomorph swarm squirmed towards us. “It’s a trap!” shouted Cyclops as he blasted away a contingent of the monsters who had rushed in through the corridor behind us. “I have to get back to Jean!” With that, he ran back the way we had come; the sounds of automatic fire and eye lasers echoing back through the corridor behind him. “Well that guy’s an asshole.” Remarked Deadpool as he unholstered a pair of pistols and went John-Woo on the xenomorphs which were rapidly bearing down on us. It was amazing, there were doves and everything. “I always thought he was more of a dick,” replied Wolverine as he stabbed his claws through the carapace of an alien which had come within striking distance. “There are too many of them!” shouted Storm, electricity flying from her outstretched hands, “We can’t hold them off for long. We need a plan.” “There!” said Rogue, pointing to an angular portion of temple stone on the far side of the room which had remained relatively untouched by the rot of the alien hive. “It’s a staircase outta here!” We moved through the egg chamber towards the decrepit stone ramp, fending off wave after wave of attacks from the ravenous things which struck out at us from the darkness. “Jesus Deadpool,” I shouted over the ever present blare of gunfire, “How many of these guys did you hatch?” “I lost track at around a hundred, and thanks for reminding me, by the way,” he said as he aimed one of the pistols at my head. “I got so used to sitting there without a chest cavity I almost forgot I owed you a bullet. He pulled the trigger and my head snapped back with the force of the concussive impact. “Yeah I had that one coming.” I said with a chuckle as I leaned forward and the flattened bullet fell from my impeccable forehead. I thrust my voidspear towards him and impaled an alien which had snuck up and was about to take a bite out of his head like they love to do. “Listen, I’m sorry. I asked you to not kill the mercenaries because they were supposed to be the hosts. That didn’t work out, so we had to enact a contingency plan.” Deadpool continued to glare at me, anger evident in his hooded expression. “You’ll be well compensated, I promise.” I said, winking. By this point we had reached the sloping masonry and began to ascend into the chamber beyond, the alien horde swarming in behind us. “It’s a dead-end!” shouted Logan as we hit the solid stone façade of the far end of the chamber. We put our backs to the wall as the encroaching mob of hissing black death made its way towards us. "Shit, I’m out of ammo!” said Rogue, throwing down her gun and pulling off her gloves. “I don’t know if I wanna get close enough to these things to touch em though.” “I’m empty too,” said Deadpool as he dropped his pistols and removed a katana from behind his back. With one swift motion, he brought the blade through the skull of an attacking xenomorph, cleaving it in two. The monster’s acid blood sprayed out at him; quickly eating through the blade, as well as a large portion of the flesh from his elbows down. “Well, now it looks like I’m totally unarmed.” The alternating high and low tones of an alien claxon pealed out through the tomb. “What’s that?” asked Deadpool. “Did I just win some kind of terrible joke prize?” The alarm sounded again as the room began to tremble. With the sound of grinding stone, the entire chamber began to rotate; sealing off the aliens entrance and opening another on the wall to our right. We quickly dispatched the remaining aliens which had gotten into the chamber with us prior to its sealing and rushed into the darkness of the corridor beyond. “Up ahead, I see another staircase!” shouted Deadpool as we stopped at a four-way intersection of ancient stone hallways. He pointed his arm stub out into the darkness. “Come on you guys, this way!” A plasma bolt raced out from the darkness of the hallway to the left, incinerating the remainder of Deadpool’s arm to the shoulder. “Mother fucker!” he shouted as he turned and bolted back the way we had come. “Not that way!” We turned and followed in an attempted escape back into the pitch black maze of the subterranean corridors. The clicking laughter of the predator gleefully stalking its prey echoed off the walls behind us as we ran blindly into the waiting darkness. “HYEEEAAHH!!!” Logan cried as he was suddenly punctured through the shoulder by the razor sharp tail of a xenomorph which had been lying in wait on the ceiling. Using his one hand, he sliced the segmented tail of the creature off where it protruded from his chest. The other he brought up into the base of the elongated skull of the creature, puncturing its brain cavity. The lifeless husk of the alien fell from the ceiling, but a hellish chorus of hissing and rattling chitin rushing towards us in the darkness meant that more would soon take its place. An electrical vibration filled the air as the blinding light of a plasma bolt arced just inches above our heads further into the darkness. The illumination of the bolt as it impacted on its target with explosive fury revealed blackened silhouettes of the writhing swarm of death rushing towards us. “Through here!” shouted Storm as the shifting stones of the temple revealed a narrow passageway opening behind us. The five of us rushed through the massive twisting blocks of stone just as they ground shut behind us, crushing the limbs and torso of an alien who had almost managed to reach us before we escaped. We each collapsed against the solid stone behind us, our chests heaving with terror as we paused to catch our breath. “Ammo count?” said Deadpool as he surveyed our group. Only Storm still carried a gun, the rest of the team having left theirs in the egg chamber after expending their limited supply. “I’m empty too,” replied Storm as she ejected an empty cartridge and threw the now useless weapon down at her feet. A bright red light shone out at us through the darkness ahead, the tri-laser target of the predator’s shoulder cannon lingering on each of our chests for a moment as it scanned through the available targets. It paused on Logan for a heartbeat before flicking off as quickly as it had arrived. A shimmering figure emerged onto the periphery of our vision. As the hunter’s cloak dissolved around it, we were able to make out its ornate silver armor in the low light. “Fight me like a man.” The distorted voice of Wolverine echoed out across the walls of the chamber as underneath his mask the predator chortled off a loud clicking laugh.

Chapter 14 - The daring rescue The narrow fissure between rocks we had entered quickly opened up into a large chamber, replete with hanging stalactites, sparse formations of stalagmites outcropping from the cave floor, and a few large columns where the two met. Beyond the glow of our flashlights, the inky blackness stretched on. The sounds of dripping water were everywhere, and heat emanated from further within the cave. The situation was akin to being in the salivating jaws of a hungry carnivore. “There’s so much humidity here,” stated Storm as we moved further into the darkness. “The heat must be geothermal, since we’re so far underground, and I imagine there’s an underground reservoir of melted ice water here to supply all the moisture… If I concentrate…” she continued as she reached out her hands. Water began to concentrate in the sky around them, first as a fine swirling mist, then as thin rivulets of liquid which swirled around her wrists before hardening into short blades of ice. With a flick of her wrist she sent a handful into the nearest column, and morphed the water in her other hand back into ethereal form to create a small bolt of lightning which struck the column next to that. A crack of thunder resounded through the chamber as the columns fractured and gave way, the cave ceiling they had been connected to giving way behind them, sealing our entrance. “Yeah, I think those might have been load bearing structures,” I said as the dust settled. “Ah well,” I continued as we pushed forwards. “Only way out is through, makes it easier that way.” We ducked behind a stone monolith as a trio of the aliens skittered past on the ceiling and walls to investigate the disturbance; Jean’s cloaking ability shielding us from all forms of detection. As we continued through the darkness, the heat and humidity grew. The walls of this place had also taken on a more geometrical form; straight carved angles as opposed to the liquid forms of the cave thus far. I shone my flashlight on the flat face of the fossilized stone wall before me and saw deep weathered runes etched into its eldritch surface. We had reached the tomb beneath the pyramid. “They should be just ahead,” said Jean, leading us through an endless corridor of maze-like passageways beneath the enormous structure. As we approached, the walls around us again began to change; slowly at first, the ancient stone blocks of a forgotten era of earth’s past being slowly encroached upon by a fungus-like ichor. Black and twisted in the form of organic- or rather, bio-mechanical structures, the rot seeped across the dilapidated masonry and soon overtook it completely. “They should be just ahead,” said Jean once again; a strained, almost confused expressing crossing her face. “But there’s something else…” she continued. “Something… another presence in there with them…” she gasped suddenly and fell to her knees, Storm and I stopping to check on her. “What is it?” questioned Storm. “What did you feel?” “Something enormous,” replied Jean looking up, a migraine evident in her now bloodshot eyes. “And full of pain.” Tears streamed down her face as she looked up at us pleadingly. “I can’t go any further, I’m sorry.” “That’s fine,” I said as I lay my hand on her shoulder to comfort her. “Concentrate the shield on yourself, and keep your gun handy just in case. Storm and I will take it from here.” We pressed on into the hive, and emerged into a large chamber. The large fleshy oblongs of the aliens’ eggs lay in bundles across the floor of the room. The walls of the structure were coated with the same resinous ichor which made up the rest of the alien’s lair; in several places woven into the webbing were the bodies of several species of dinosaur, their chest cavities exploded outwards. “My god,” gasped Storm as she surveyed the macabre scene. The beam of her flashlight passed across the dense mesh of corpses and rot; stopping suddenly on the faces of Logan and Scott, who both appeared to be unconscious. “I found them,” she called out under her breath. A groan issued from Logan’s limp mouth. As she spoke, the egg sitting before Logan on the wall began to open, the fleshy palps of its top separating as the beast within curled into a springing position ready to strike. Logan stirred and became conscious as he saw the massive spider like creature jumping out at his face. With a strained shout he ripped his arm free of the webbing and brought his claws slicing through the facehugger’s body. The acidic blood of the parasite did not harm the adamantium blades, but a large amount sprayed out onto his chest and face, which now began smoking as he shouted in agony. His cries of pain woke Scott, who now found himself staring into an opening egg sack. Thinking quickly, Storm surrounded the alien arachnid with ice as it leapt out towards Scott’s screaming mouth. The nightmare creature fell to the cave floor before him and shattered. “Get me the fuck out of here!” shouted Scott in full panic as he looked around at his surroundings. “Get me the fuck out of here!” he repeated; his voice a shrill cry in the darkness. Storm and I rushed to tear the resinous webbing holding Scott and Logan to the wall, all the while scanning across the room for our missing companions, as well as any xenomorphs coming to investigate our removal of their hosts. “Over there,” I said as Wolverine broke free of the last of the hive material. I pointed my flashlight to the red and black costume of Deadpool, stuck to the opposite wall, a massive hole in his chest where a xenomorph larva chewed its way out. “Oh god,” replied Storm. “They’ve killed him.” His body twitched, then jolted to life in the light of my flashlight. “Oh, hey you guys!” he said as his head rolled around to look at us all. “Did you miss me?” We all ran over and began to tear him free from the wall; the hole in his chest cavity stitching itself back together at a remarkable speed. “This place is getting a terrible Yelp review,” he said when we had finally broken free. “That just leaves Rogue,” I said as we all scanned the walls with our flashlights. “There,” said Logan as the beam of his light crossed a human form among the black webbing. It was Rogue, and tightly wrapped around her face was one of the parasites. As we approached, the spider-like being detached and fell to the ground next to her as she coughed and gasped for breath. “Rogue, are you ok?” asked Cyclops running up to her. “Did it hurt you?” “No,” she said roughly, clearing her voice before continuing. “They jumped on me and tried to shove something down my throat, but I absorbed their life energy before they could succeed.” We looked down and saw a pile of the spider like monstrosities lying dead and dying next to her, an occasional post-mortem muscle spasm shaking through the mass. “There’s a problem, though,” she said as we worked to free her. “I don’t just absorb life energy; my power absorbs thoughts, memories… instincts…” “What are you saying, Rogue?” asked Logan as the final resinous chunk fell free. She looked at us with a deadly serious expression in her eyes. “I need to sit on someone’s face.” She stated, a deathly serious look in her eye. “Hey hey, I’ll jump on that grenade!” remarked Deadpool with a wide grin.

Chapter 13 - Double Penetration The temple came into view as we reached the crest of a hill, still following the path of destruction left by the armored tyrannosaurid. We stopped here to reconnoiter the location from a distance. “It’s massive,” said Storm as she observed the great stone pyramid through a pair of binoculars. The structure sat in the middle of a large clearing, its facade resembled an Aztec or Mayan design; several plateaus of diminishing size leading up to the central peak. Along one side, a carved staircase extended between the levels; at the top of which was a great stone door. “You’re certain Rogue and Deadpool are in there?” “I feel them,” replied Jean Grey as she raised a finger to her temple and closed her eyes. “They’re very faint, but they’re inside the pyramid.” “Can you feel where exactly inside the structure they are?” asked Scott. “No,” she replied. “There’s some kind of strange interference, I can’t explain it.” “So what, should we just walk up and knock on the front door?” asked Wolverine, extending his claws. “I don’t think it’s going to be that easy” replied Scott, who then turned to me. “It’s not going to be that easy, is it?” I chuckled and gave a slight sigh. “All right, here’s the plan” I said while examining the temple closely. “That door up top is sealed shut; only the predators can get in or out, which means there must be some other entrance the aliens are using to collect hosts.” I scanned the base and sides of the pyramid looking for any cracks or structural damage. Finding none, I turned back to the group. “So a couple of us are going to have to be decoys. Logan, Scott, I’m going to have to ask that you both get captured. Storm, Jean, and I will follow closely behind, cloaked by Jean’s psychic shield. Hopefully they will take you to the same location as Rogue and Deadpool, and once we’re all together, we can work out an escape from there. Sound good?” “What if they take us somewhere else; or they don’t take the bait?” questioned Logan. “A temple this size will only have one, maybe two egg chambers at the most,” I began. “And I know they’re going to take the bait because this hive is still becoming established; they need as many hosts as they can get. Also,” I concluded, “You’re going to appear unarmed and not fight back.” “So essentially it’s a suicide mission,” replied Cyclops. “Oh you’ll be fine, you big baby.” I chided him. He flipped me off as he followed a chuckling Wolverine through the destroyed underbrush. “There sure are a lot of bones here,” Scott’s voice crackled through the communicator as the pair stepped from the foliage into the clearing of the temple. I watched them closely through the binoculars as Storm and Jean scanned the area for any sign of movement. “There, to their 10 o’clock,” said Storm, pointing at a rustling at the edge of the jungle. I focused my binoculars on the patch of forest and waited. “I’m going to investigate it,” replied Scott as he walked towards the edge of the clearing. Picking up a stick, he probed the foliage Storm had directed his attention to. “There’s nothing there,” he said finally. They struck from the side. With lightning speed the xenomorph pack was on Scott and Logan. There were four of them, each slightly shorter than a full grown man, with elongated jaws and sloping postures. These aliens had obviously been bred from the dinosaurs which inhabited the area. As soon as they had erupted onto the scene the xenomorphs disappeared, dragging their new hosts back to their hive. We chased after them through the jungle, Jean’s psychic shielding abilities occluding their awareness of us. “Where’d they go?” asked Jean as we came to a silent section of jungle. “We must have lost them.” “No, look at this,” said Storm as she pointed out a trench-like depression in the jungle floor beneath us. “It’s a dry river bed. There has to be a cave opening somewhere.” “Over here,” I said as I shone a flashlight into the inky black depths of a small crevice in the earth, roughly three feet wide. “They’ve definitely been through here,” said Jean, pointing to the deep scratches and grooves in the earth around the gaping maw, signs of multiple struggles. “Right then,” I said, handing out flashlights. “In we go.”

Chapter 12 - In which shit gets freaky “Who took her?” demanded Scott. “Was it the last group of mercenaries?” “I don’t know what they were,” replied Storm. “A swarm of them came through the trees at us after Logan told us to run. I was able to escape them by using the wind to help me leap from branch to branch, but Rogue was unable to escape.” Storm paused and looked down prior to continuing. “The last I saw of her, she was being dragged off by a pack of those things.” She took a deep, jagged breath. “I couldn’t stop running,” she concluded. “It’s all right, Storm, nobody blames you,” stated Beast as he put a comforting arm around her. “More hunters?” asked Cyclops, mostly to himself. “But why would there be so many of them? And why would they take prisoners? Bait maybe?” “No, it’s worse than that, I’m afraid.” I said, interrupting Scott’s train of thought monologue. “Rogue has been taken by aliens.” The group stared at me silently. “I… thought we had already established that,” began Cyclops again. “She’s been taken by the alien hunters.” “Nope, this is a different type of alien.” I began to explain. “These guys are like, massive insectoid parasites with razor sharp claws, tails, two sets of teeth, and acid for blood.” I looked around the cabin as I concluded my description of the xenomorph and was met with a sea of horrified faces. “For Christ’s sakes,” shouted Charles after a few moments of silence. “How many different types of alien do you have us stuck down here with?” “Just the two,” I replied. “You know, maybe a third, if I’m feeling ambitious.” I shrugged innocently. “Listen, none of that is important right now,” interjected Wolverine. “We need to start working on a rescue plan.” “Storm, did you see where they took her?” questioned Cyclops. “South?” she said while shaking her head. “I don’t know; it all just happened so fast.” “I know where she is.” I stated as I pulled the map back up onto the monitor. “There is an ancient temple, built by the predators when they first visited our world in the late cretaceous. I sent Deadpool in to scout it while we were engaging the first wave of mercenaries.” I pointed at the location on the map. “Soon after I lost contact with him. The hive is located in the temple. I’m certain of it.” “So how do we get there?” asked Cyclops. In response, I pointed at the path of destruction the massive dinosaur had left in its wake as it passed through our location. “All right then, Professor,” I began. “I want you, Beast, and Mystique to remain at base camp to monitor our situation. The away team will consist of me, Logan, Cyclops, Storm, and Jean. And you two,” I said, turning to them. “Bring a weapon this time.” The members of the away team gathered their gear and one by one we left the cabin and headed out into the jungle foliage beyond. After a few moments of silence, Charles Xavier let out a sigh and shook his head. “What have we gotten ourselves into this time?” he asked the remaining members of the team. “Everything certainly seemed much simpler, back in the old days,” commented Beast. “Do you remember Aruba?” asked Mystique. “1973, I think it was, the three of us were stuck in that tiny hotel room with only one bed after that monsoon hit?” Charles chuckled. “That was quite the evening, if I remember correctly.” “I’m surprised you remember much of that night at all, after we had so much to drink,” interjected Beast. Charles chuckled again, ending in a slight sigh as he looked over at Mystique. “I remember how beautiful you were that night, sandwiched between us on that tiny mattress.” Mystique blushed as she transformed into Jennifer Lawrence wearing a sheer nightgown. “Something like this?” she replied. “Ah,” began Beast. “But if memory serves me correctly, you weren’t wearing that for long.” He reached up a furry blue finger and gently began undoing the lace holding the garment to her. Loosened, the sheer fabric now clung to her skin only by the force of attraction from a thin layer of sweat across her skin. The peaks of her nipple were clearly visible beneath. She bit her lip as she ran her fingers through Beast’s thick hair and looked down to Charles, who was presently unbuckling his pants. As she knelt before him, the fabric of the nightgown gave way, exposing her gently heaving chest as she brought her mouth down onto his limp paralyzed manhood. "Mmm... Yes, just like that," said Patrick Stewart commandingly as she ran her tongue along the folds of his sagging old testicles, stopping to circle around the base of his flaccid shaft before placing the entirety of the wet noodle inside of her mouth. Though he could not feel her lips around him; the nerve endings in his lower half having long since been severed, the mental stimulation within his advanced mind as he watched her perform was beyond compare. She maintained eye contact with him as her head bobbed up and down and Beast's blue furry hands wrapped around her breasts from behind. Mystique ground her bare ass against the growing erection in his corduroy pants; the ridges in the beige material rustling against her moistening folds. Standing and placing a foot on the arm rest of Xavier's wheelchair, Mystique reached down and spread her large meaty labia wide before his face. Charles surveyed the sight momentarily as she worked her hands around her pubic area, spreading the glistening moisture which dripped down her inner walls. A thrust from behind pushed her spread genitalia into his face; his tongue penetrating inside of her until his jaw could stretch no more. She moaned with desire as she reached down to stroke the deep red phallus which had emerged from between Beast's legs. Mystique turned again and took Beast's throbbing red rocket in her mouth; Charles's tongue now pounding into her as his hands clenched her shapely ass. She moaned as she fondled Beast's furry blue balls, her tongue slapping against the underside of his shaft as she took the beastial dick as deep as she could. "Fuck me!" she gasped as she pulled her mouth from him. Turning with her vagina once again in full display towards Charles, she grabbed Beast's member and thrusted it deep within herself. She gasped as Beast continued the thrust after she could take no more; the strength of his loins bring her to tip-toe above Charles keenly observant face. Beast relented and she was able to stand on the balls of her feet for a moment before another mighty thrust threatened to take her off her feet once again. Below her, Charles groped at her rhythmically swinging breasts as he watched Beast pound in and out of her. Charles placed a nipple in his mouth, playing with the mound of raised flesh with his tongue as Mystique's cries of orgasm filled the lander. "Shit, I'm close!" gasped Beast as the convulsing walls of her vagina threatened to milk the seed from him. Pulling himself from her at the last moment, Beats reached a blue furry palm down to his swollen and bulbous animal penis as Mystique knelt down before him and opened her mouth. She slid her tongue around the underside of Beast's throbbing red erection; the taste of her moisture saturated the cock. With a primal roar, Beast unloaded onto her face and into her open mouth in great strings of white sticky jizzum. To the side, Charles moaned loudly as his mind resounded with the feelings of an intense orgasm. All three of them now exhausted; the interior of the landing craft faded into a breathless silence.

Chapter 11 - More violence in today’s entertainment Logan leapt onto the enormous body of the predator fists first as he sunk his blades deep into the monster’s vaguely reptilian hide. In response, the predator brought both arm blades into Logan’s chest, creating large tears in his flesh but stopping upon hitting his adamantium ribcage. Logan pulled back a fist and sunk another clawed punch into the predator, which grabbed him and threw him across the clearing. “I can do this all day,” Logan snarled as he scrambled to his feet and back into a fighting posture, the wounds on his chest quickly healing. Across from him, the predator stood and retracted its wristblades. Reaching to its belt, it pulled out a contraption resembling a pointed cylinder comprised of many smaller rods. With a motion, the barbed metal rods extended to reveal a spear six feet in length. The predator slowly pointed the tip of the spear at Logan, and then began to twirl the weapon around itself in an astounding display of martial arts talent. The alien hunter completed its display and assumed a defensive position. The two warriors froze on the field of battle as the ground began to shake. A deafening roar echoed through the jungle as the forest behind the predator began to heave. Trees cracked and were torn away by the massive creature which broke through the foliage and issued another earsplitting challenge two the two warriors who had trespassed onto its territory. Logan’s attention was instantly drawn from the predator before him to the tyrannosaurus-like beast which stood beyond. The monstrosity was an estimated fifty feet from the tip of its tail to the end of its narrow snout, which bulged with a row of massive serrated teeth. Along its back, the mottled red and ochre hide was studded with large kernels of dense spiked body armor resembling the plates of an ankylosaur. Logan’s attention distracted, the predator took the opportunity to strike. Wolverine barely had time to bring his arms up to block the fearsome blow, the force of which would have broken both arms of a lesser man and drove him back several inches in the soil of the forest floor. The combistick spun lightning fast in the predator’s expert grasp and landed a resounding blow across Wolverine’s midsection which tore a gash an inch deep in his chest and sent him flying. He came to a rest at the base of a tree with a thud. Only now did the predator turn his attention to the massive beast which stood behind him. The enormous dinosaur issued another deafening roar, which was echoed by the predator as it raised its spear and prepared to leap. With the sound of a freight train, the two monsters collided as Logan slowly lost consciousness. ===== The mercenary screamed as a bolt of white hot plasma ripped through his chest. Another bolt flashed as the man beside him suffered the same fate. The remaining three mercenaries which stood beneath the downed lander began to fire on the section of the tree tops from which the bolts had come, but the predator had long since abandoned this locale and presently snuck along behind them at ground level. “What’s going on out there?” Cyclops shouted over the communicator. “I heard shooting, is everything ok? Do we need to be out there?” “No, Cyclops,” I said calmly as I watched the cloaked predator run down one of the men and drag him into the jungle beyond. “You guys should all just stay in the lander until I give the all-clear.” I shut off my radio so the noise would not give away my position as I watched the two mercenaries tracked off into the jungle in the direction the predator had dragged the third. The predator was, by this point of course, high above them in the branches again, preparing to hang its latest victim among the corpses of the others. It echoed out a trill of laughter as it prepared its skinning equipment. I was on it in an instant, the black voidspear in my grasp swinging a wide arc towards the hunter’s exposed midsection. Decades of fighting experience allowed the beast to block what would have been a debilitating blow, but the force of the sudden impact was enough to knock him from his branch. He twisted in the air as he fell, and landed in a crouching position between the two mercenaries. With a single stroke, the monster decapitated both men, and turned its attention back to me. I had become fully visible by this point, and still stood high in the branches I had just knocked the predator down from. I raised my spear, and pointed it directly at the beast before me. With a swipe of its hand across the wrist computer on its imposing gauntlet, the monster uncloaked; revealing its true form to me. This creature was indeed the larger of the two, its pitted ebony armor a stark contrast to the radiant silver worn by his hunting companion. A three-pointed laser target appeared on my chest as the predator’s shoulder cannon whirred to life. I flash-stepped down towards my opponent in a zig-zagging motion as I dodged plasma blast after plasma blast. As I reached the predator he brought his wristblades up to meet my oncoming blow. He pushed back against the spear, and I used the momentum to backflip gracefully into the air where I now stood. I again raised my spear, and waved it around the top of my head before whipping its focus back on the predator which stood below me. As I did so, the haft of the spear grew in length, firing the blade of the weapon down across the distance which separated us with the speed of a gunshot. Instinct once again prevailed as the predator narrowly blocked what would have otherwise been a killing blow. I pulled back and the blade retracted, only to be fired twice more; the first blow being once again blocked, the second leaving a deep slash across the monster’s arm. Neon green blood dripped to the ground as I pulled the blade back. The predator roared as it raised its gauntlet to me. From behind the already impressive blade assembly emerged another pair of blades, thicker and longer than the first. The beast then raked these new blades along the flesh of the arm I had not damaged, leaving a pair of deep cuts to mirror the single one I had inflicted on it. The predator again raised its wristblades as his neon blood dripped down from them. With surprising speed and agility for its size, the beast leapt from branch to branch and finally launched itself through the air towards me blades first. I swung my spear into a blocking position as we collided, the massive weight of the alien monster wearing down on me as its metallic claws locked against the void of my spear. I examined the monster’s mask closely as it stared back at me through the dark lenses of his environmental helmet. It was made of the same pitted ebony as the rest of his armor, fashioned to resemble the shape of a dinosaur skull while still maintaining that classic predator charm. As I admired what would be my trophy, the predator’s shoulder cannon came to life and issued a single shot at point-blank range. The concussive force of the blast threw us both backwards; the predator landing back at ground level, myself landing once again in the air among the treetops. The Predator, his front charred by the sudden plasma explosion, looked up to me to examine the damage I had taken. I had, of course, brought up a voidshield in the split second before the bolt of energy erupted, and presently stood in the air doing my best Dragon Ball Z impression, a sphere of black energy forming around me as I increased my spiritual pressure. “This isn’t even my final form!” I shouted down at the bewildered predator which stood before me not understanding my anime references. “KAGOME!!!!” I shouted again at the beast as I raised my spear and prepared another attack. “WINDSCAR!!!!” Thunder echoed through the jungle as a deafening roar halted my attack mid-swing. Branches gave way as the giant dinosaur burst into our conflict, the second, smaller predator still clinging to the back of the beast, his spear jammed deep between the creature’s armored plates. The ebony predator looked back to me momentarily as it turned its camouflage back on and leaped onto the side of the raging beast which was tearing through the jungle. In an instant, they were gone; a trail of broken trees and destruction following behind them. I let out a sigh. The battle done for now, I reached up to my ear and turned the communicator back on. “Do you hear me?” shouted the voice of Scott over the radio; no doubt he had continued his whining the entire time I had maintained radio silence. “I’m coming out there right now.” “Fine, I’m done for now anyways.” I said; interrupting what was more than likely another stream of complaints from Cyclops. As I watched, a fully-healed Wolverine emerged from the same broken section of jungle the dinosaur had just passed through. “All right everybody, let’s regroup.” I said as I dropped down to the jungle floor beneath the open hatch of the lander and waved for Logan. Storm burst suddenly through the jungle behind me, covered in scrapes and bruises. A fine sheen of sweat, dirt and blood covered her skin; a horrified expression on her face. “They took her,” she cried, out of breath from running “They took Rogue.”

Chapter 10 - Hey, we’ve finally got predators. Wolverine froze in place beneath the hanging skinned bodies, his adamantium claws slowly extending. “Logan?” said Storm as she turned towards him. “What’s wrong?” A dense sweat condensed on Wolverine’s brow. “We’re not alone in this jungle.” Slowly he scanned through the branches of the trees as he spoke. “I know this feeling.” He continued. “We’re being hunted…” “Logan?” Rogue stepped towards him. “Run,” he said, suddenly switching his gaze to the two of them, fear on his face. “Run now.” He dodged to the side as a bolt of blue-white hot energy tore through the air from the treetops, just barely missing him. Another blast came and he dodged it more narrowly than the first, the plasma bolt leaving a bright red singe across the front of his left arm up to the shoulder. He snarled as he returned fire with his MP5 in the general direction the shots had come from. As he pulled the trigger, he detected a faint shimmer moving through the trees. “What, you’re too scared to show yourself?” he shouted as he adjusted his aim. The shimmer again tried to move, but Wolverine was able to track it with his heightened senses. “Fight me like a man!” he taunted. In an instant, the cloaked figure dropped down before him. With a clicking laugh that reverberated from the trees around them, the predator stood and uncloaked. “What the hell do you mean ‘we’re the bait?’” said Scott, rudely interrupting me as I ate popcorn and watched Logan’s monitor. “All right, Mr. Sponges, if that even is your real name, you need to explain everything right now.” “You know what, Mr. Summers,” I began. “There is a universe in which I explain everything to you, and your brain explodes because you can’t handle it all. So, you know, try not to steer us towards that universe, ok?” “You know what I mean, you smartass.” Cyclops shot back at me. “What is going on here?” “Hey, don’t get mad at me because you can’t phrase a question correctly.” I replied. “All right, fine. That fellow right there,” I said, pointing towards the fight on the monitor that I would have much rather have had my attention on, “is known as a Predator. They’re a species of interplanetary big game hunters who come to earth on occasion to do what they do best. You could say that I’ve come to hunt the ultimate hunter.” “If you’re here to hunt them, then why aren’t you out there helping Wolverine?” said Scott, pointing to the screen angrily. “Because Wolverine’s got it handled.” I said nonchalantly. “Also, I’m after the big one.” I stood and extended my hand. Within it formed the haft of a halberd-like spear, black as a void, and burning with a black flame. “And he’ll be here any second.” Logan coughed blood as he was flung into the trunk of a tree, his breath escaping him for a moment. “Logan, what’s wrong?” the voice of Storm, unnaturally amplified and modulated, emanated from the hidden speakers within the hunter’s masks. It unleashed another round of clicking laughter. Logan stood, and wiped the blood from his lips. “Nothing a few beers won’t fix.” He leaned his head to both sides, cracking it loudly, and assumed a fighting stance. The monster in front of him did the same. For a moment, neither of them moved, each combatant sizing up his considerable opponent. Logan’s eyes darted from the intricate bright silver mask to the Massive plasma rifle attached to the armor over the creature’s right arm. As he watched, the predator slowly reached up and unhooked this assembly and threw it on the ground. The predator again assumed his fighting stance as a pair of foot long blades ejected from his silver gauntlets. This time it was Wolverine who laughed. “I like your style, bub,” said Logan ad he raised his fists and charged at his target. The predator charged towards him as well. The alien hunter managed to dodge his first blow, but a second solid punch hit squarely in the bottom of its mask and tore it free. The monster turned its head towards wolverine and spread its spiked mandibles, its vag-like mouth uttering that clicking laughter once again. “Logan, tell him he’s an ugly motherfvcker!” I shouted at him through the communicator. “They love it when you do that.” “Sponges, the mercenaries are right on top of us!” shouted Scott, the static of the communicator making his voice even more annoying than it usually was. “We need to do something, now!” “Scott, they’re not on top of you. You are on top of them. They are below you; you’re in a tree, remember?” I said to him. “And you don’t need to do anything. Seriously, mercenaries are the least of your worries in this jungle. If you enjoy having your spine attached to your body, you’re going to stay in that tree.” I myself had left the tree only moments ago, and now sat stealthed on a branch in the upper canopy, overlooking the crashed landing craft and the soldiers milling about below it, completely oblivious due to the combined psychic shielding of Professor Xavier and Jean Grey. In the branches below me, the pattern of light on the leaves shifted, as the invisible hunter made its way towards its quarry. “Havin’ me some fun tonight,” I said as I prepared for the battle to come. “Havin’ me some fun tonight.”

Chapter 9 - Reunification “Anyways, sorry about all that,” I said to the Weyland Yutani soldier. “Where were we again?” “I’ve known exactly where you were since before you shot the drone.” said the mercenary. “Funny,” I replied as I reached for the helmet of the now subdued mercenary, “I’ve known exactly where you were and where you were going to be since before you came through the hole in the ice.” I unhooked and lifted the assault mask. “I’m glad you could join us, Mystique (as played by Rebecca Romijn), although I wish it could have been under better circumstances.” I stood and helped her to her feet as well. “Seriously though,” I continued. “Welcome to the party. I’ll take it Weyland Yutani has paid you handsomely for your services? Whatever it is, I’ll double it, triple it even.” I removed a stack of hundred dollar bills from my pocket and began to make it rain. “Ok, but who the hell are you?” she replied. “You know what? I really should have had like, a presentation at the beginning of this whole thing explaining who I am and what I’m doing here to all of you.” I said as I exhausted the stack. “It would have made this whole adventure go so much more smoothly. Just call me Sponges.” “All right then, Sponges,” she stated defiantly. “I’m not here for the money. I’m here because I want to put a stop to Weyland Yutani. I’ve seen some of their experiments on mutants and I know that if they’re involved in something it’s going to be dangerous for everyone involved.” “Boy howdy,” I replied. “You can say that again. Anyways, you’re in good company, I’ve got a tree full of X-Men who would be thrilled to hear you’re playing on the side of the protagonists again this time.” “Sponges,” crackled the voice of Xavier through the communicator “Jean and Storm have reached us safely, as has Logan’s team. It appears, however, that they have been followed. Did you and Deadpool complete your reconnaissance? ” “Affirmative,” I said as I decided my body was made of robots and plugged a flash drive into my wrist. “You’ve got a squad of five coming from the north. An additional squad of five is approaching from the north east.” Cries of horror met me as the images popped up onto the screen of the lander. “Come on you guys, it’s only ten of them.” I looked down and realized I had uploaded the wrong USB drive. “Ah, sorry about that,” I said as I quickly switched them out. “Come on, you guys, it was only twelve of them.” The sounds of disgust and anger continued. “Yeah never mind, I’m just going to make you all forget about that.” “We’re dug in quite well here, and safely hidden behind the Professor’s telekinetic shield,” stated Beast. “However they may have sensory capabilities we have not taken into account.” “What’s more,” began the Professor, “I some other presences converging on our location. Something entirely unlike a man, mutant, or even a dinosaur; something not of this earth.” He concluded. “These guys don’t look that tough,” said Wolverine as he examined the documentation on the monitor. “Although I’d rather not get caught between them,” he continued. “I say we send out a strike team and cut off one of the groups before they reach us.” “Yeah, that sounds all right.” I said after chewing the idea over for a moment. Ideally I’d keep them all there, but what are you gonna do? That pesky free will and all. “Let’s see then, Logan… I want you, Rogue, and Storm to head out and take the guys to the north. Everybody else, stick in the lander for now. The northeast team doesn’t know where you are yet, and they’re stumbling right into a trap. Somebody wake Scott up, it’s about to get really exciting over there and he’s just been napping for the past twenty minutes anyways. I’ll see you all soon, we’re headed right over.” Mystique looked quizzically at me. “How much do you know about what’s going on here?” she asked. “Only the important stuff,” I said with a smile as I grabbed her about the waist and prepared to teleport. “By the way, have you seen the dinosaurs yet? Pretty frickin’ brutal, amirite?” “Yeah,” she said with a far off look in her eye. “I’ve seen the dinosaurs. I don’t want to talk about it.” “Fair enough.” I said as the jungle roots faded into the cabin of the landing craft. “Ah, Sponges, Deadpool-“ began Beast, who stopped mid-sentence. “Mystique?” he stammered. “Wait, were you Deadpool the whole time?” he looked at me, a bewildered look in his eyes. “What’s going on here?” “I actually sent Deadpool out on a secret mission; Mystique came here to take down Weyland Yutani. So we’re pretty much on the same side. Don’t worry; everything is still going mostly according to plan.” “Did your plan involve me getting knocked out for the past few hours?” said Cyclops as he stalked up to me, pointing his finger in my chest. “No, you were the dumbass who undid his seatbelt in the middle of freefall and decided to start hitting buttons. Although it was extremely convenient for the rest of us, so hey; thanks for that.” I leaned past him. “Jean, can you try to keep your bitch on a leash in the future? Please?” He took a swing at me and I sidestepped as his hand punched into the steel inner hull. “Go sit down,” I said as I walked over to the monitor and pulled up Logan’s video feed. “I don’t get it,” he said, scanning the dense underbrush. “We should be right on top of them.” He sniffed the air as he looked around. “Right on top of them.” He felt the drop on his shoulder, then another. He wiped the drops off, and was shocked to see red on his hand. He looked up, and saw them. “Holy shit,” he said as he stared up at the five flayed bodies hanging from the branches of the trees towering above him. “Sponges…” he began, “What are we looking at right now?” “Do you remember that alien consciousness Xavier was talking about earlier?” I replied while grinning. “The other group of mercenaries has just about reached us,” alarmed Jean. “Shouldn’t we spring the trap now?” asked Cyclops as her prepared to disembark from the tree. “Spring the trap?” I questioned. “Oh, no we aren’t the trap,” I replied without removing my attention from the monitor. “We’re the bait.”

There are no laws here.

The real housewives of Atlanta is on Hulu.