mthor

Except that he'd drink both of them.

A random mention of Chris Chan.

Only if you can't remember the words.

What happened to the blue?

Or when the music in the supermarket sounds really really good.

That's because you're not

If you had a sandwich, you can probably thank both of them.

It's not the vows that you should worry about, it's the pre-nup

*you're

I'm not having any problem from the desktop, but I still can't access on my phone. I did the on/off thing, but that's about the only thing I know how to do, and it still doesn't work.

Bus tokens and bottom shelf beer do not an alpha make. And were a man to offer me same, I, too, would run in the opposite direction.

You can't even commit to a YouTube channel, much less a girlfriend.

So. Slow day?

Yes. Tiresome, isn't it, that none of them wants to date a pudgy, middle-aged man who lives with Mommy and relies on public transportation? Funny how the herd mentality prevails on that kind of thing.

Spirits distilled or fermented?

Popsicles

On the body farm, peacefully dcomposing. At least, I hope so - I don't want to be that old.

I don't know, man. What are your chances of coming down with TB or Ebola or something else that requires quarantine before the affair? I realize that it's a benefit and everything, but it sounds like tap-dancing in a mine field would be easier than trying not to offend anybody and still be funny at this particular venue.

Isn't it enough to just lay the meat maxipad in the bottom of the packaging tray? I don't think it's going very far, and it will soak up the blood even if it isn't absolutely centered. Attaching it with Gorilla glue makes it extremely unpleasant and almost impossible to remove when it's time to recycle.

Well, you never would believe where those Keebler cookies come from...

Uphill.

Ice cubes. If I had valiums, they'd be asleep, or I wouldn't care, or both.

It's keeping them out of my hair. They chase them around on the floor and chew on them.

That's what I figured, but the last time I had a dog was back when it was still ok to give them chocolate. They apparently changed the rules. They're about 4 months old, so they have baby teeth. I don't know if they're born with them either.

Just curious. I mean, I'd give them Valium, but I don't have any.