Still Me

I’ve never really understood internet personas...if it’s not you then don’t fucking do it...god forbid you find someone who likes this “persona” then you actually meet up with them and you have to continue some facade or admit that you had been lying the whole time... i am the same fucking person from web to life...the only difference is my tone of voice...I still say fucked up shit...but you can tell I’m kidding when I do it...but I’m certainly not gonna prance around to placate anyone’s opinion or with some character I’ve made up... bullet points: dont be fake dont fucking lie and stop being a little bitch when things don’t go how you planned

Wait homemade? Or are we talkin like...hidden valley?... ranch in a bottle can not be refrigerated up till opening...if you’re mailing something opened or homemade...it’s a box large enough to fit a foam cooler...then ice pack that bitch...send it 2 day shipping and you’re solid

I’m not sure if that’s a good thing...or a sad thing...

I just went from an iPhone 7 to a red XR....buuuuut....I bought the phone....I am gonna take it in though to see if I can make them think there is a screen issue so they will take my Verizon locked phone and give me the unlocked version......cause when I sell this one in a year or so...it will be worth more money

....you don’t....just buy the phone?....

One must have morals to receive moral support

Stop buying shit makeup....

Go watch rapping Rodney...it’s ironically funny...in like a dad joke that’s gone on too long funny

Fuck...Rodney dangerfield had to die to be funny

Weren’t you being evicted because the apartment had new owners?

I don’t know man...I still say explosive diarrhea is a good side effect.... and eplaining anal leakage to a patient is pretty funny.... side note...my phone tried to change funny to funyun....😐

I wear make up all the time...

I eat the whole apple....core included.... and when it comes to pizza....I prefer eating LBs left over crust...rather than the pizza

what is it?....February?....

...see I love lb more than bacon...but do I love him more than fine pastries like cannolis, lobster tails, baklava, or homemade cheesecake?.....I’m gonna need to talk to my lawyer

Well it needs to go down now...it’s....well ok 3 years old...but LBs is an 08 and he paid the same

I’d be pissed about that too...they keep creeping prices up...I’ll be paying that soon I’m sure

Jesus Christ what a fucking tool...

Correction...our relationship is based solely on the answer to the question “do you love me bacon? Do you love me more than bacon?”

I like bacon...but I don’t eat it all the time..lol

I’m not the bacon freak lol....I kinda want a toasted tuna sammich with cheese and pickle relish.... *shouts to LB* HEY BEE....MAKE ME A SAMMICH....

my vehicle registration keeps going up every year...this year was 75.50...I don’t think I paid that much last year... i think its because they keeps classifying my car as a “small truck/suv”....it’s weight class only puts it as the maximum weight of a midsize car...I feel like they are fucking me...

I’m hungry...all I could think of was sammiches

He acts like I’m scared of him or something...I’m fairly confident that in person he’d fold like bread...is snap him in fucking half...he’s not scary or threatening in the slightest